Slipper Posted March 7, 2012 Share Posted March 7, 2012 (edited) My Dad is messy. Messy is probably too kind of a word, he's a slob. He always has been. He probably borders on being a hoarder. His house is falling into a bit of disrepair but he won't pay to have it fixed insisting that he can do it himself "when he finds the time". My step-mother is a dream. She loves to cook, loves my Dad but she is frustrated at the house. They both have some health problems. My Dad is almost 72 and my step-mom is 65. The house is not unsanitary (no dirty dishes stacking up, etc) but there are some rooms in the house that I haven't seen yet (they've had the house for about 15 years). I want to offer to send our housekeeper over to my Dad's house for one day to do some cleaning, but I'm worried that if I offer to send her over for a few hours they will be offended. Truly, three hours would probably clean only one room in their house, but I'm happy to do it if they want it. To complicate things a bit, I am sending my housekeeper to my mother/step-dad's house for three hours next week to help with their spring cleaning. (Mom has arthritis and my step-dad recently injured his shoulder - so there are things they can't get to). Is there any good way to word this in an email? (I do better in writing as sometimes I have foot in mouth syndrome when speaking). I think my step-mother would love to have someone over (but she may get offended). My Dad will offend easily. My Dad's health (heart problems) are such that at any moment a heart attack wouldn't be a surprise. He's far exceeded doctor's predictions and I'd like to do some nice things for him. Edited March 7, 2012 by Slipper Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
In the Rain Posted March 7, 2012 Share Posted March 7, 2012 Could you tell your stepmother that in honor of the upcoming Mother's Day and Father's Day holidays, you are sending your housekeeper to your mom and stepdad's house to do some spring cleaning. You could ask if she and your dad would also appreciate such a gift. Offering a "gift" sounds less judgmental than offering "help" IYKWIM. BTW, that is very thoughtful of you! Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Desert Rat Posted March 7, 2012 Share Posted March 7, 2012 I clean houses for people. I often find that when doing this kind of thing, it's best to make it sound like you are trying to help the worker. Like, "Sally has some money trouble and is looking for more work. I thought I would give her some money to clean your place, Dad and Step-Mom. What day is good for you and I'll check with her. Thanks for helping her out!" I've used this a couple times. People no longer feel like they are being judged, rather they get to help someone else out. Just an idea. (And don't forget to tell housekeeper about this "arrangement".) FWIW, I don't consider this telling an untruth, rather bending words to get what needs to be done to happen. Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
In the Rain Posted March 7, 2012 Share Posted March 7, 2012 I clean houses for people. I often find that when doing this kind of thing, it's best to make it sound like you are trying to help the worker. Like, "Sally has some money trouble and is looking for more work. I thought I would give her some money to clean your place, Dad and Step-Mom. What day is good for you and I'll check with her. Thanks for helping her out!"I've used this a couple times. People no longer feel like they are being judged, rather they get to help someone else out. Just an idea. (And don't forget to tell housekeeper about this "arrangement".) FWIW, I don't consider this telling an untruth, rather bending words to get what needs to be done to happen. Oh, that's good! :001_smile: Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
cottonmama Posted March 7, 2012 Share Posted March 7, 2012 I think the fact that you're sending the housekeeper to your Mom and Step-Dad's house simplifies things rather than complicates them. It allows you to say that you wanted to do this for both sets of parents. If you want to emphasize that it's a gift rather than a judgment, you could put together gift baskets for each set of parents with some nice things for the home... soaps, candles, chocolates, and then a "gift card" for the free housecleaning. Write a nice note saying how much you love them, appreciate all they've done, etc. That puts the focus on them and how great they are rather than on you doing this out of the blue. Then talk with the housekeeper to make sure an appointment gets scheduled (in case Dad/Step-mom are procrastinators ;) ) What a great idea, and what lucky parents you have. :) Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
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