IEW/SWI-A 1st draft questions

[Pen]

We just started Inst. for Exc. in Writing with SWI-A. The first writing assignment is on Sea Snakes. We looked up Sea Snakes and ended up with some extra information that ended up in draft 1--in place of one of the given sentences. Here is where the first draft is now (with spelling cleaned up by me)--I want this to be a good experience leading to more and more writing, and am not sure how much to have him work it and where to let it be. This could get really interesting and then I think he'd be very proud of it, but it will take some work revising and so on--at the very least to add in "of the time" at the end, and to change "it can swimming well" to "aids it in swimming well"--though bigger changes could make it even better. He's had dyslexia-ish issues so this is a big leap now. I'd appreciate suggestions from seasoned IEWers in particular, but others could chime in. I thought I'd crosspost on the writing workshop part, but have not yet figured out how. However, I'm not so much looking for feedback on is this good, or is this what should be expected, but words to say to help him to move on to next drafts successfully. I can write fairly well, so I know what sort of editorial changes can help--the issue is how to teach him, so he'll understand and come to enjoy, not hate writing. So far, so good, want to keep it that way.

 

 

"The most poisonous snake in the world is the sea snake. Sea snakes do not always inject when they bite. Scientists estimate that the venom of the sea snake is fifty times as powerful as the king cobra's venom. The sea snake has a smoothe bottom and can not move well on land, but it has a paddle-like tail like a fish, which it can swimming well. The venom of a sea snake is slow to take effect. Victims are most often fishermen [ ] if they handle the snake carelessly, which leads to fatal [end] 25%."

[Mrs Twain]

I have only been doing SWI-A since September, so take this for what it is worth.

 

As far as editing, I try to follow what Mr. Pudewa said in the TWSS. Did you listen to that? I have my kids correct all of the spelling mistakes. I also have them fix sentences that don't make sense, as in what you suggested with your son's paper. I make sure they have included all of the dress-ups and other requirements as outlined in the assignment.

 

Other than that I don't do a lot of editing, but rather note things that we can work on in the next assignment or in the future. This is basically what Mr. Pudewa suggested. You will see many things that can be changed about the paper to make it better, but don't critique your kid's writing too strongly at this point. If you see something that is glaring, make a note to teach it next time. I have found this to be great advice. It is difficult to bite your tongue and walk away (as Mr. Pudewa says) and not correct everything you see. It is better to try to hold your tongue, though, so as not to discourage your child.

 

BTW, these assignments are harder to complete than they look. Did you try to do the writing assignments in the TWSS? That gave me a lot of appreciation for what I am asking my kids to do.

 

HTH.

[Pen]

Thank you. This helps. I think I was about to try to get him to do too much!

And probably still am leaning that way... Bite my tongue is a good reminder I need. Every few minutes probably.

 

I'm watching TWSS, also, but am not very far through it, I think not far enough. I'll watch more ASAP. Yes, I did start doing the assignments myself. I think that sort of thing is fun, I love playing with words! Okay, okay, I'm weird.

 

The part I saw strongly encouraged rewrites and really working a paper as shown on the handouts on page 10. Yet also I know I need not to discourage him, yet otoh if he has something that he feels proud of I also know that will be a really big incentive to do more.

 

Do you do things like point out special things that the child did fairly successfully, for example, in this case, use a simile to describe the snakes?

 

Meanwhile, where we are is that he saw his own work typed here, and read it, and realized the sentence with the "which" had a problem, so he fixed that already. That was another big step, especially since he just did it without my asking--it was not even "school" time.

 

Since I already fixed the spelling as I typed it out, and am going to let him work with a print out for his next step, I'll let it be so this assignment, but ask him to do spelling corrections on the next one.

 

Okay. Bite my tongue. Bite my tongue. Don't discourage. Encourage.

 

Go watch more of the TWSS.

 

Does Andrew P later get to things like transitions and leading the reader through a passage with words like "because" or "then"? I hope so.

 

What about something like trying to encourage a more specific and descriptive word than "fish" -- oh, how I'd love to see "eel"! but probably I had better bite my tongue? We've already worked on that some during narrations for WWE--but should that be dropped now as we work the beginning of SWI-A?

 

Bite my tongue. Encourage. ...:001_smile:

[Mrs Twain]

Yes, I would defintely point out the things your child has done well. I make a big deal of anything that is good in the paper and express how proud I am of my child for doing such a good job. I try to give more positive praise than critique as a general rule.

 

I think the TWSS will cover things like transitions that you mentioned, but I haven't gotten to the end of the TWSS myself and am not sure of the answer to that question.

 

I always have the child correct things he should already know, especially if there are words that he has had in spelling, or if there are concepts we have already learned in grammar. If there is something to correct that my child hasn't already learned, I will either ignore it or just tell him how to change it to make it correct.

 

I might pick one thing that is new or recently learned to try to teach in order to improve the writing. So instead of telling my child about the ten or fifteen things I see that could be improved, picking one thing to work on (and forgetting about the rest for the time being) is less discouraging to the child IMO.

 

I think it is easy to forget that the child has often worked very hard to produce a legible paragraph. We may read it and think that it is a pretty poor piece of writing, but for the child (considering age and ability) it may be a great masterpiece. It can be heartbreaking for the child if we mark it up and tell him all of the bad things about the writing, rather than just be enthusiastic about the effort and especially about the parts that are good. I am a naturally critical person, so I have to work very hard at this!

 

The Book _Any Child Can Write_ (Harvey S. Wiener) has helpful advice for the parent trying to help a child to learn writing skills. I especially liked this part about "Reacting to Error" (pages 95-96):

 

"The painful correction of error after error, especially when accompanied by a parent's impatience, disgust, or anger, squashes the seeds of writing that lie dormant within your son or daughter. It's a delicate and subtle skill to be able to ignore some mistakes while pointing out other more serious ones...

 

"Praise effort at all times with pleasure and excitement; listen without distraction to a youngster who speaks aloud orginal written sentences, and encourage this kind of reading frequently; fuss over the finished product--hang it on the refreigerator or the cupboard, send a copy to Grandma, leave it at Mom's or Dad's place at the breakfast table. As your youngster grows older, continue your positive responses to her writing, but show more and more attention to correctness--never so much that it supercedes your interest in the way your child develops an idea and supports a point."