Weaning a toddler

[justamouse]

:grouphug::grouphug: I've totally been there where I Had Enough. And resenting them means it's time to stop. I totally know where you are.

 

You're amazing that you nursed him this long, and I think you deserve some applause.

 

I weaned by refusing and redirecting attention during the day, offering cups of what they loved and their favorite foods. I started weaning at night by just limiting the time and saying, "all done!" happily after a bit. Then I would refuse and all done the next time until they were spaced out very far.

[AimeeM]

I think night time is our biggest issue.

I can redirect during the day and he CAN fall asleep on his own; but in the middle of the night, bedsharing, where he can simply crawl to me while I'm sleeping and either ask politely OR simply pull down my shirt and help himself without me noticing - that's our issue... and really that's why, for this to work, he has to sleep in his own bedroom. His toddler bed is in our room, but he's already had to go twice for stitches falling and jumping out of it because he's just too small to get in and out safely. A mattress on the floor in his own room HAS to work. I'm desperate. Lol.

:grouphug::grouphug: I've totally been there where I Had Enough. And resenting them means it's time to stop. I totally know where you are.

 

You're amazing that you nursed him this long, and I think you deserve some applause.

 

I weaned by refusing and redirecting attention during the day, offering cups of what they loved and their favorite foods. I started weaning at night by just limiting the time and saying, "all done!" happily after a bit. Then I would refuse and all done the next time until they were spaced out very far.

[HS Mom in NC]

I'm weaning because I resent nursing. It isn't healthy for either of us emotionally.

 

I'm weaning because I can't function as the sole caregiver and homeschooling Mom to a dyslexic daughter and medically high needs son, on 3 hours of sleep.

A friend of mine has had great results with her very dyslexic child with the Barton videos. I assume googling Barton and dyslexia will pull them up. She said getting them second hand has resulted in significant savings.

 

As I recall, Dianne Craft has materials that are designed to work with right-brained children (much more visually oriented) and dyslexic children.

 

I hear you on the sleep deprivation. When my youngest was adopted from S. Korea, the adoption agency warned us ahead of time that children going from one home to another will be traumatized. They let us know the children would have sleep issues-those issues could last as long as ten years. The attachment therapist with the agency was there to help support us. We were mentally prepared for a very difficult transition. Not all adoption agencies are as ethical in disclosing this, and there are parents who deeply resent a the life they have because it's different than the one they expected.

 

My daughter did not sleep for more than 1.5 hours at a time for about three months. She had night terrors too. She moved to sleeping to about 2-3 hours at a stretch for the next several months. Then she woke a few times a night for about a year after that. I homeschooled my 7 year old who was a late reader ( barely getting started at 7) and my 9 year old through that. There were several stretches where my husband worked 70-90 hour weeks, sometimes 7 days a week for a couple of 9 month stretches. I understand being drained mentally and emotionally.

 

Were you mentally prepared by medical staff for the demands of a medically high needs child? Did you know going in it would be like this? Is there a professional who deals with these issues there to support you? Is there a group of BTDT parents who can help support you?

 

I had to make serious changes until things calmed down. My not reading yet child was switched to listening to TWTM on CD. My reading well child was switched to Greenleaf Guides with everything planned out so I didn't have to do any planning. I had books on tape so I didn't have to read literature aloud to the older ones. I saved my energy for Math. The older two watched Math U See videos and I just answered questions when they got stuck. It was the the absolute bare minimum in the subjects that we kept.

 

I stopped cooking and doing dishes if I didn't have to. It was Schwann's delivered to the house or frozen meals from the grocery store. I used disposable place settings. I got a spray mop with disposable pads to make it easier. Anything that made my life more convenient I got if I could afford it.

 

I let the kids watch more than our previous rule of 1 hour of TV a day. They watched School House Rock, the old Electric Company, other educational videos and any cartoons that were not obnoxious even if they had little educational value. While they watched and or played happily with the baby I cat napped as much as I could. (Leaving the youngest with someone else was not an option for attachment reasons.) My older two played at the neighbor's houses, at Grandmother's farm, and other places more than usual for a while so when the baby was sleeping I slept. Do you have a way to do something like this?

I'm weaning because I have no desire to nurse two children.

 

Most people don't. I was just making sure you weren't being told you couldn't if you really wanted to.

 

I'm weaning because, frankly, I never wanted to nurse in the first place. I did it ONLY because it was medically necessary for my son.

 

With that said, I love the idea of parent led, gentle weaning and I intend to do as much - with my own spin. I need my space. He needs to be in his own room. That means we need to cut out all night time nursing.