Setting goals

[choirfarm]

Just musing right now. I should be cleaning house as older ones are at cc.. I'm thinking about a conversation that I had with my boys the other day. I made really good grades in hs and college. I never had the goal to make a 4.0. I just wanted to do my best. My oldest is like that. My middle one would be happy with a pass. He thinks he should set his goals low and be happy that he did better.:confused:

 

It reminded me of my hs boyfriend. I dated him my senior year and then he followed me to Baylor ( he shouldn't have!!) We dated for another 2 years, although he flunked out of Baylor and then went to MCC and didn't do well there either. Every semester it was the same: I'm going to make all A's. Yeah, right!! You made C's in high school in regular classes!!! What about if you made the goal to show up to EVERY class and to do EVERY homework assignment? That would be a reasonable goal!!! He never got it, and I realized after 3 years that although he was a sweet guy, I could never be married to him. I could date him forever, but the thought of his being the head of the family or dealing with our finances gave me chills.

 

So how do you decide to set goals? My oldest is like me; although he just wanted to get a B in Spanish at the cc when he started. It would transfer to Baylor and look fine on the transcript. AT the present time he has a 98.8 average. He earned 251 out of 252 points on the midterm. He has decided he might just make an A! My middle one has a 92, so he is thrilled as he just knew he was going to fail the class and was mad at me for making him take it. He is working hard because he is succeeding. He can't believe how many people have dropped out already or are failing. But many are not doing their online assignments either!!!!

 

Just musing. Have to get back to work.

Edited November 8, 2011 by choirfarm

[regentrude]

In college, I started out doing the best I thought I was capable of - but results did not happen during my first semester, despite insane hours and lots of effort. (basically, I had never learned study skills because everything was effortless throughout high school). Rude awakening, depression, misery. I was determined to figure this out, worked very hard - and did it. I made straight As after that. I am a perfectionist and want to excel; if I don't, I need to figure out how to make it happen. I believe that I can do it and, so far in life, have been right.

DH and DD are the same way. Anything less than top is not acceptable.

DS is a minimalist. He needs to hear clear expectations that mediocre efforts are not sufficient and not acceptable. Part is maturity, part is personality, hard to counteract.

I never get the "scraping by with a C is just fine" mentality. I irritates me that capable students settle for less than they could achieve.