Upsetting Topic (I am not joking!) Question re my dd32 & her 2 Pg losses

[MariannNOVA]

As a mother who had many late pregnancy losses, I think it's a wonderful idea.

 

We too lost a little boy at 20 weeks in 2003. No one except my husband and I talk about him anymore...I wish I had a mother who would have done something like that for me. The great advice I got from her was "you'll need to go to counseling" and "you can have fun trying again". She never experienced anything like this so I'm sure she didn't know what to say or do, but something to let me know she was thinking about me and cared about our son would have been lovely. I think your ideas are very caring and loving! Blessings to your daughter as she mourns the loss of her little ones!

 

Melody

 

Years ago I had an early 2nd trimester miscarriage, and it still gets me sometimes. I am not an overly emotional person and not a "touchy-feely" type either. So my first reaction was No,no,no, too much, too soon. Then when I put my mother (also emotionally stunted, but loves me) in your shoes I could definately see it being okay. That is the kind of gesture only a mother would be able to do for her daughter though.

 

We lost our second daughter at 22weeks January, 1997. I suspected I was losing her during the holidays and bought an ornament for her anyways. Each year, I have bought my other children an annual ornament but she has just the one. It is a Wallace Silvermith Candy Cane. I buy ds16 a bell every year, dd12 a snowflake, and dd4 has a variety...but only the one candy cane.

 

I hang it myself every year and it is one of the first to go on the tree. The kids know it is Katie's and who she was. It always brings a tear to my eye, and I hang it in the back. It is out of immdiate sight, but it is there and I know. Every child who has touched a family, leaves a lasting imprint....it is my way to honor her, and acknowlege that she will forever be a part of all of us.

 

I would have loved to have my family honor my daughter. You're are a darling mother.

 

I've had five early miscarriages (so not the same) but after my first three a friend of mine bought three small glass angel ornaments for me to hang on my tree. They are some of the most precious ornaments to me.

 

Thank you all and (((hugs))) to all of you. My mom told me the same thing, Melody: 'get some good therapy' AND 'go shopping, you will feel better.' I am not touchy feely/warm fuzzy BUT I have learned to make the effort and push myself beyond my comfort limit (something I have learned to do as I have become older) b/c I understand that 'this' comes from my mom (and I do know whre she gets it) and I see that my children need more. Hence, I find myself in many situations that my mom would have passed on, but I have found that it means so much to my older daughters; and I am learning to make different footprints for my three younger children. It's a process -- the learning never stops.;)

 

Thank you all -- I spoke with dd on the phone yesterday afternoon and while I didn't bring this up, we did talk about how these are going to be a difficult two weeks as she was due 10/15. She sounds well, though, and she and her dh have alot on their plate so she must keep moving forward -- sometimes a few steps at a time.

 

Thank you all again and may you be blessed and comforted.:grouphug: