Night Elf Posted September 23, 2011 Share Posted September 23, 2011 My dd19 is babysitting this evening for a really long time. We know this family well and this 2-yr old knows my dd well. But he has taken to having long crying fits when someone in his immediate family leaves, especially his mom. I think he is 2 yrs. 2 months old, so a very young two. Last time this happened, she phoned me because she was getting upset because she didn't know how to help him. He had been crying for over 45 minutes. I suggested she take him outside and he threw himself onto the grass and continued crying. She took him back inside and put on his favorite movie, Cars, and he settled down within a few minutes. His mom was due back in another 30 minutes so he watched tv until she got back. She is super sweet and said she totally understood because even she gets flustered when he won't calm down. But today, dd19 will be with this child from 3pm to midnight. There is NO way she is going to keep that tv on. He usually has a great time playing with his toys but it's that first hour after mom/dad leave that is crazy. I'm racking my brain trying to think of something I have here at the house that she can take to him. Sometimes a new toy can distract a toddler. But my kids are all teens now and we just don't have many toys left. The only things I can think of that we have are some Matchbox board books (each came with a vehicle and the story is about that vehicle) and a Brio train track. I cannot remember the age suggested for that train track. Is he too young for it? I am sure he would like to see one of the board books because he does love books, but I don't think he is old enough to play with the actual vehicle. She can leave that at home. Can you think of anything else she might do to help him? I'm usually a pro at babies and toddlers but she doesn't have much experience. He is usually such an easy kid. He even loves naps and bedtimes. You can tell him it's time to go night-night and he is eager to get into his crib. I get a kick out of that! I wonder if she gets there and takes him out for a walk in the neighborhood first. His mom can leave while they are gone. I wonder if that would be traumatic. I've dealt with the separation anxiety thing before, but not at this intense level. Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Barbara H Posted September 23, 2011 Share Posted September 23, 2011 I do think it can help to minimize the big farewell. If it is okay with the family trying a walk was going to be my suggestion. A new toy is a good idea. Also sometimes a simple new game - hit pillows, throw balls, whatever can be a good distraction. Sometimes rather than trying to coax the kid to participate if the adult will just start in and narrate the activity kids will get get interested and join in. Also as a parent of a baby who had that kind of intense separation crying, I would tell your 19 year old that it may help to shift in her head her idea of what she's supposed to do. It isn't her job to make the baby stop crying. He may need to get it out for a bit. It is her job to keep the baby safe and to let him know she's there, offer to hold him, etc. but the big thing is keeping him safe not making sure he doesn't cry. I'm not sure if that helps, but getting a different frame of mind sometimes can. Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Night Elf Posted September 23, 2011 Author Share Posted September 23, 2011 I do think it can help to minimize the big farewell. If it is okay with the family trying a walk was going to be my suggestion. A new toy is a good idea. Also sometimes a simple new game - hit pillows, throw balls, whatever can be a good distraction. Sometimes rather than trying to coax the kid to participate if the adult will just start in and narrate the activity kids will get get interested and join in. Also as a parent of a baby who had that kind of intense separation crying, I would tell your 19 year old that it may help to shift in her head her idea of what she's supposed to do. It isn't her job to make the baby stop crying. He may need to get it out for a bit. It is her job to keep the baby safe and to let him know she's there, offer to hold him, etc. but the big thing is keeping him safe not making sure he doesn't cry. I'm not sure if that helps, but getting a different frame of mind sometimes can. Thanks, I'm sure she does feel responsible. I'll share that with her though. Maybe it will help. :) Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Barbara H Posted September 23, 2011 Share Posted September 23, 2011 And, good for her for babysitting even though she knows it might be rough! Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
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