fourcatmom Posted May 14, 2011 Share Posted May 14, 2011 (edited) Update...deleting my dd's story. It really bothered me that 60 people had read it and only one person responded. I was just hoping for some constructive feedback. This is a first draft of a story that my 10 yo wrote a few days ago. She is in 4th grade and we have been HS for about 5 months. I am just wanting some feedback. I think her writing is very creative for her age but it sometimes the content of some of her stories disturbs me, not sure if I am over reacting or not. The story is not finished yet but here it is. Thank you for any feedback. BTW - spelling is bad, I know. I just purchased a spelling program that we are going to work through over the summer. Edited May 18, 2011 by fourcatmom Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
fourcatmom Posted May 15, 2011 Author Share Posted May 15, 2011 Nobody has any feedback??? Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Julie Smith Posted May 15, 2011 Share Posted May 15, 2011 I liked it. Very enjoyable story, and a neat story idea. Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
thowell Posted May 18, 2011 Share Posted May 18, 2011 I was hoping to see it. Keep in mind that sometimes people do not offer any answers because they may not feel qualified for it. I however, seem to never fail to open my mouth even when I shouldn't. Anyway I have a dd10 and was hoping to read yours. Maybe you will change your mind. Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Create Your Ritual Posted May 18, 2011 Share Posted May 18, 2011 I occasionally post here and sometimes it would be weeks before anyone posted anything about a story one of my dc had wrote. That is fine though, because sometimes I just put them up so others can see what an assignment in Unjournaling, or perhaps WT1 looks like .. in case it would help others to make a decision about that particular curriculum. I remember enjoying your dds story, I didn't think there was anything necessarily wrong with the content that I could remember. I honestly didn't think I personally was qualified to report on it, other than to say I 'liked it'. ;-) I think creative stories are fun.. this age group is a hard one to critique. I look on the high school writing boards and theirs is a bit more extensive because of the age and the level of writing expected. I think for all of us (o.k... perhaps I should just speak for myself), "I" am just looking for samples of writing from other curriculums, samples of writing by age, and using them as guidance for my own planning. I am not sure anyone feels 'right' about critiquing or saying anything other than nice things about a 10 year olds writing sample. ;-) Keep posting! Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
fourcatmom Posted May 19, 2011 Author Share Posted May 19, 2011 Thank you for your responses that makes me feel better. I guess I just got protective since it was her story and I started to feel that people didn't like it and that's why that they didn't leave a comment. She has extreme anxiety and I love HS her but she is really into what I would consider less appealing subjects and she tends to over focus on those and I guess I have read so many wolf stories about death and mating and the greek gods that I was hoping to hear that this was all normal and just part of growing up and exploring different outlets and putting them down creatively on paper. Anways, I will post again. Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Clover11 Posted May 19, 2011 Share Posted May 19, 2011 I also read the story and didn't comment. My ds is close to your dd's age. Writing is his hardest subject, and one of the hardest for me to teach. I like to read other kids' stories and see how people critique them; it helps give me suggestions for my son. I didn't think there was anything terrible about her story, and I thought it was interesting :) Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Create Your Ritual Posted May 19, 2011 Share Posted May 19, 2011 I would say that not every child enjoys writing that much, or writes about 'less appealing' subject matters as a matter of preference. I personally would embrace it. Eventually you might want to check out "The Well Tempered Sentence: A Punctuation Handbook for the Innocent, the Eager, and the Doomed" by Karen Elizabeth Gordon. She also wrote The Deluxe Transitive Vampire, The Disheveled Dictionary, and others. What makes her writing different, perhaps also makes it distinct. Maybe others would have suggestions for curriculum that would appeal to her as well? I certainly don't think anything is wrong with it though. ;-) Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
fourcatmom Posted May 19, 2011 Author Share Posted May 19, 2011 I would say that not every child enjoys writing that much, or writes about 'less appealing' subject matters as a matter of preference. I personally would embrace it. Eventually you might want to check out "The Well Tempered Sentence: A Punctuation Handbook for the Innocent, the Eager, and the Doomed" by Karen Elizabeth Gordon. She also wrote The Deluxe Transitive Vampire, The Disheveled Dictionary, and others. What makes her writing different, perhaps also makes it distinct. Maybe others would have suggestions for curriculum that would appeal to her as well? I certainly don't think anything is wrong with it though. ;-) Thank You. She absolutely loves History and especially loves all the Percy Jackson books. I will look into the curriculum that you have mentioned. I did the unjournaling writing the other day that someone else posted about where they pick a name out of the phone book and write a story about it and I thought this would help get them to move away from the interest that they read and write about everyday. My 10 yo dd picked the name Roman Rider and of course he lived in Rome and was a fighter and it was about Kings and all sorts of stuff. My 9 yo dd picked Kelly Martin and she was a horse rider who raced horses for a living...so basically they still wrote about their passions and I guess that's really what the assignment was. Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Create Your Ritual Posted May 19, 2011 Share Posted May 19, 2011 LOL.. that was my dd story about the name in the phone book! She is also very creative, and loves all the Percy Jackson books. We studied Ancients in history this year and both dc can tell you every darn thing you ever wanted to know about Greek & Egyptian mythology. ;-) There are a ton of those kinds of books out there. Just this morning dd memorized the opening paragraph of the Hobbit. She LIVES in a land of creativity. I told someone on the Unjournaling post that this is a girl that is pen pals with the tooth fairy. ;-) I love that about her. Just enjoy them, their stories and embrace it. You will do nothing but grow from the wealth of knowledge this forum and these ladies (and guys) possess. I have learned so much this year, and continue to do so. Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
fourcatmom Posted May 19, 2011 Author Share Posted May 19, 2011 LOL.. that was my dd story about the name in the phone book! She is also very creative, and loves all the Percy Jackson books. We studied Ancients in history this year and both dc can tell you every darn thing you ever wanted to know about Greek & Egyptian mythology. ;-) There are a ton of those kinds of books out there. Just this morning dd memorized the opening paragraph of the Hobbit. She LIVES in a land of creativity. I told someone on the Unjournaling post that this is a girl that is pen pals with the tooth fairy. ;-) I love that about her. Just enjoy them, their stories and embrace it. You will do nothing but grow from the wealth of knowledge this forum and these ladies (and guys) possess. I have learned so much this year, and continue to do so. How old is your dd? Maybe they should be pen-pals with each other? Mine is 10 and will be 11 in December... What do you think? Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Create Your Ritual Posted May 20, 2011 Share Posted May 20, 2011 Sorry about the delay ... I took the kids to see Wicked today! ;-) I am sure my dd (10) would love to have a pen pal. She is not the BEST at writing back in a timely fashion though. ;-) Let me know and you can pm me the info. ;-) Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
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