Analyze speech?

[BlsdMama]

Descriptive Speech

This speech needed to be at least 500 words.)

This is our sixth grader.

The rules?

 

1. Attention grabber

2. Clear introduction to the subject that introduces all the topics of the body

3. The body should have 2-5 parts

4. The conclusion should nicely tie together with the introduction.

5. Use interesting words - especially verbs and not just rely on adjectives.

6. Varying sentence structure - not just subject/predicate

 

 

The Biggest Baddest Lizard of All

 

 

By Christian _______

 

 

On the game trail, the fiend is waiting to ambush any prey unlucky enough to come near. He tastes the air with a flick of his long, thin tongue and senses the familiar scent of a deer. The scent is coming closer. Muscles tense as he readies to spring. With a great lunge, the dragon lifts his enormous bulk and smacks the deer’s legs out from beneath it while snapping his jaws and getting a mouthful of warm blood. The deer that was our dragon’s prey galloped off, bleeding profusely. Fifty-six toxins raced through the deer’s body. Though the dragon didn’t kill it immediately, two days later the Komodo dragon gets the scent of a rotting corpse. It sets off at a steady pace to find the deer it had previously attacked. It immediately gorges itself on the rotting flesh. Later, there is little left. Fur, teeth, bones, and flesh, all consumed by the mighty Komodo dragon.

 

He is the biggest, baddest lizard in the world. This real life dragon has been known to even eat people! What kind of monster could do such a thing you ask? It is none other than the Komodo dragon. This massive reptile with a serious bite lives only on a few of the small islands by Indonesia.

 

Out in the Indian Ocean there are the Indonesian islands. And within this group are the Lesser Sunda Islands where the mighty Komodo dragon lives. The islands are home to other species including deer, boar, other lizards, and humans… and all are possible prey to the dragon. The islands have wide open grasslands, forests, and dried stream beds, in which the Komodo dragon digs its’ burrows. There are also beaches, but the beast seldom visits these.

 

Komodo Dragons are outfitted with a few dastardly tools for the HUNT! The adult males can grow enormous, reaching over three hundred pounds and as long as ten feet. Despite their large bodies, they can run at speeds up to ten miles an hour. But perhaps their most intimidating tools are their destructive claws. They are useful to dig burrows or to slash prey to ribbons. They also have a mighty tail to use to knock enemies and prey off balance and enemies. Oh! And beware of the water! They can use it to swim like a crocodile. They can go under water up to twenty feet deep.

 

The most dreaded tool in the Komodo dragon’s arsenal is its’ mouth! You may think such a ferocious predator would have incredible eyesight or hearing… But you would be wrong. It is their sense of smell that is very good. However, their sense of smell doesn’t come from their nose, but from their tongue, which searches for the smell of decaying flesh up to 2.5 miles away. The horrible teeth are curved backwards to ensure a firm grip. Then there is the saliva; this deadly spit is packed full of septic bacteria usually killing the victim within four days.

 

Vacationing soon? Be thankful you aren’t a deer! You might not want to visit the Lesser Sunda Islands because you just might not come home. The mighty Komodo dragon, with its’ horrible teeth, claws, and toxic saliva might just find you; and if it bites you, get help before it’s too late. And now you know about the biggest, baddest lizard in the world.

Edited April 20, 2011 by BlsdMama

[BlsdMama]

Anyone?

 

(It has been edited for grammatical errors, but the wording, organization, and sentence structure is his.)