How do you know??

[kchara]

How do you know, for sure, that there's something "wrong," without being able to put your finger on it, and, in turn, convince others (professionals, in particular) that you're not just looking for a label, you really believe SOMETHING. IS. WRONG???

 

Our last pedi diagnosed DS as ADHD/ODD. He's put on Ritalin, because I was about to be a single parent for 8 weeks, and we all decided it was probably best. By the time DH got home after the 8 weeks, he was absolutely wild. The ritalin would work great, but the rebound was horrific. And violent. I told the pedi, and we worked on adjusting his doses, but nothing ever worked. The Ritalin was a short term dose, b/c the pedi said since we homeschool, if we wanted to take him off of it for a day, or a weekend, or whatever, it wasn't a big deal with the short term pills. If I brought up an issue, I got a very patriarchal smile, and a nod, and no real HELP, KWIM?

 

So, we decided to see a psychologist, to hopefully learn some techniques to deal with his meltdowns. Still getting more violent, destroying property, scaring his brothers and sisters. He had started stealing food around this time (like... an entire pie, an entire box of ice cream, ect. Only junk food.) She recommended taking him off of the Ritalin, because she said it was adding fuel to his fire. Then, she talked to him. A lot.

 

Soon, DH got a new job, and we moved. The day before we moved, the therapist wrote up a final evaluation to give to our new therapist. Basically, it said what a cute kid he was, how "delightful" he was, and that he was emotionally delayed and needed to be in school to get away from me. :glare: Yeah, that's just not gonna happen.

 

Now, we've moved, but we've moved into a duplex. Our poor neighbors, I think, think we're monsters. The meltdowns have started up in earnest again. There doesn't seem t be a rhyme or reason to them, just whenever something doesn't go his way, he completely melts down. I can't get him to do anything without some sort of meltdown. He's also incredibly self-centered. I can't even begin to describe it. He truly does believe the world revolves around him. The only other person I've seen behave in such a way was my mother, and I'm 99.9999% sure she has borderline personality disorder.

 

We have an appt with a new pedi in a week or so. How can I convince him that there's something REALLY wrong here? DH thought it was just me, not knowing how to deal with boys, until he lost his job last summer and was home full time with us. Now he admits... something's not right. And it's getting worse. :( I don't know what it is, but there's something wrong with my baby, and I've got to help him deal with it.

[PeterPan]

I'd start getting some referrals for more thorough evaluations. OT, psych/neuropsych, etc. There's no reason your help has to stop with the ped. You might read "The Out of Sync Child" and see if that helps you decide who you want to see first.

[Murmer]

Not overly helpful but I just kept talking to people until someone took us seriously. I didn't let people say no and if they did I had the next step figured out...in our situation I went to under 3 county testing they noticed things but nothing that "fit" the numbers they needed. So then I talked to her ped who basically just said wait it out...so I turned to the school district as soon as she turned 3 and they finally took us seriously. So keep at it and don't let them say no and be ready with the next step.