Tiger Mom's daughter accepted into Harvard

[Rebecca VA]

Sounds like your mom didn't have much of a relationship with your sister -- and she may well have had "issues." Amy Chua has a deep relationship with her whole family which goes way beyond music practice and homework. She has a serious career which transcends what her girls do or don't do.

[ereks mom]

but I'm wondering something like this: are Tiger Mom's methods proven superior based entirely upon the acceptance of her eldest daughter into Harvard? Shouldn't there be some longer-reaching proof, or support of her methods? The daughter's letter is no proof at all to me: she is still totally under her mother's influence (and control), right?

 

Did I miss something?

 

:iagree: Let's ask her in 5 years, 10 years, 20 years, when her mom's influence is less of a presence--or so one would hope.

[ereks mom]

I think it all depends on how you define success. If the mother's only goal was for her daughter to gain admission to Harvard' date=' then she was successful. [b']I'm sure that her daughter's life will be followed somewhat during college and afterward, and in those years, it may be more apparent whether her mother's methods were the right way to go.[/b] I can't imagine that there won't be some negative consequences. I'd also be very interested to hear how she chooses to raise her own children.

 

My thoughts exactly. The bolded part is what I also said--but in other words--in a previous post.

 

Getting admitted to Harvard would not be MY idea of success as a parent, but maybe for some it would be. My idea of success as a parent would be that my children become adults who are productive, caring, trustworthy, and happy, and who then pass on their values to their own children.

Edited April 1, 2012 by ereks mom

[Teachin'Mine]

My thoughts exactly. The bolded part is what I also said--but in other words--in a previous post.

 

Getting admitted to Harvard would not be MY idea of success as a parent, but maybe for some it would be. My idea of success as a parent would be that my children become adults who are productive, caring, trustworthy, and happy, and who then pass on their values to their own children.

 

 

I think there have been a few different threads about this tiger mom - it must have been on one of the other threads. But I agree with you! :)

 

It sounds like you have the right priorities for your children. :)

[jennynd]

I had a co worker whose daughter was in Harvard for medical PhD. (not MD but PhD in Medical) I asked him what was the secret. He told me the secret is spending a lot time with the kids. camping, traveling, sport..etc..

[mom2abcd]

Congratulations on your daughter's acceptance!!!

 

Thank you.

 

SDG

[Teachin'Mine]

I had a co worker whose daughter was in Harvard for medical PhD. (not MD but PhD in Medical) I asked him what was the secret. He told me the secret is spending a lot time with the kids. camping, traveling, sport..etc..

 

 

Awesome! I've been trying to think of how to put what I was thinking, but couldn't quite put into words, and this says it better. :) Most of the students at Harvard, or any other school for that matter, aren't there because of tiger moms.

[Abigail4476]

I am so not impressed with a trite "accepted to Harvard"--coming from anyone. Success and happiness over the course of a lifetime are defined by a lot more than the name of the college one attends. With that said, I hope Sophia achieves everything SHE desires to achieve and wish her all the best success in life. I wouldn't wish her ill so that Tiger Mom's detractors could click their tongues and hold her up as an illustration of bad parenting.

 

I have to wonder how happy Tiger Mom would have been if her daughter had decided to take a couple of years to "explore the world" or become a street artist or a cosmetologist? If she had decided to become a missionary to the Philippines? Become a deep sea diver? :tongue_smilie:

 

I have dreams for my children, but one of my biggest priorities and challenges as a parent is to equip them with all the right tools and do my best to help them achieve THEIR dreams. I think what makes a lot of people bristle in response to Tiger Mom is the perception of another parent living vicariously through their own children. A lot of us have known (or endured) a parent like that, and it can certainly evoke hostility to say the least.

[ereks mom]

I am so not impressed with a trite "accepted to Harvard"--coming from anyone. Success and happiness over the course of a lifetime are defined by a lot more than the name of the college one attends. With that said, I hope Sophia achieves everything SHE desires to achieve and wish her all the best success in life. I wouldn't wish her ill so that Tiger Mom's detractors could click their tongues and hold her up as an illustration of bad parenting.

 

I have to wonder how happy Tiger Mom would have been if her daughter had decided to take a couple of years to "explore the world" or become a street artist or a cosmetologist? If she had decided to become a missionary to the Philippines? Become a deep sea diver? :tongue_smilie:

 

I have dreams for my children, but one of my biggest priorities and challenges as a parent is to equip them with all the right tools and do my best to help them achieve THEIR dreams. I think what makes a lot of people bristle in response to Tiger Mom is the perception of another parent living vicariously through their own children. A lot of us have known (or endured) a parent like that, and it can certainly evoke hostility to say the least.

 

:iagree:

[ereks mom]

I think there have been a few different threads about this tiger mom - it must have been on one of the other threads. But I agree with you! :)

 

It sounds like you have the right priorities for your children. :)

 

Thanks! And here is a link to the "previous post" I mentioned.

[Teachin'Mine]

Thanks! And here is a link to the "previous post" I mentioned.

 

:lol: Sorry - it was literally the previous post ... I was looking further back. :tongue_smilie:

[Teachin'Mine]

As Harvard is one of the most selective universities in the US, I am impressed when someone is accepted. But I don't think it is a direct reflection of the student's parents' parenting skills. And I agree that each of our children should follow their own dreams, but it's our job as parents and/or educators, to open their minds to the possibilities.

[Candid]

I liked the book Tiger Mom.

 

HOWEVER, given that both parents attended Harvard, wouldn't Chua-Rubenfeld have been given preference for legacy status? She definitely seems qualified to attend, but her admitting process is a little easier than most other applicants.

 

Yes, and she now has some other factors that ivies have been known to like in parents: celebrity status and possibly a chunk of change to donate. The Price of Admission identifies all 3 of these as factors that can get a less than average student (on the ivies average scale) admitted. On the other hand the same book also says students of Asian heritage have a higher average they need to obtain to get in so it may have all been a flat line for her daughter.