Visiting grandparents in a different country - logistics

[HejKatt]

DH and I grew up in different countries, and here we are living in CA. The grandparents want to see the children, and I thought it would be good for dc to spend time with family and have new experiences too (especially language immersion). Since we HS, we have flexibility to pick off-peak times to visit, and that helps with the expenses.

 

Right now, they may be too young to remember much but Lord willing we can keep this up in the years to come. There are more considerations to factor in than I realized, though! For example:

 

1. How long to stay

Grandparents are open to us staying "as long as we would like". Both sets of grandparents are retired. We don't want to overstay, since we would be adding to their living expenses, and they may have forgotten how little sleep one gets around a baby/toddler. :tongue_smilie: Also, DH would not be able to be with us longer than 2-3 weeks due to work. So I would be alone with two kids, and in one case, immersed in an environment without the language skills to get around. :eek:

 

2. Handling expenses

As mentioned earlier, we would be adding to our parents' expenses in some way. For a stay longer than a vacation, we would like to help pay but it has to be approached tactfully. For example, I could pay for a portion of the monthly utilities, museum/zoo visits as they occur. Or, I could give a gift at the end and say "Thank you for letting us stay with you", and insist they accept it (in my culture, we spend a ridiculous amount of time just trying to get the privilege of paying the restaurant tab).

 

3. How much routine to retain

Currently, I think I'm hyperscheduling with DS, in the sense that between read-alouds, language work, math and art/science we are busy until 4:30pm everyday. I don't want to carry the whole thing over when we visit, because we'll miss out on the new environment.

On the other hand, structured schooling is all my parents have known. I don't want to fall into a trap of bringing materials to show off, but I hope not to contribute to the impression that HS = slacking. From their perspective it's going to look like that for awhile since I don't bombard the children with flashcards, DVDs, worksheets and electronic teaching media. :glare:

 

This is a long enough post, and I'm sure I missed something! If you have some perspective to add, I'd be happy to hear it.

[regentrude]

We have all our family overseas and are visiting them every year. We usually stay with my parents for 4-6 weeks (visit the inlaws for a few hours a couple of times; they are in the same town).

 

If you only speak one of the languages, you could stay with DH's parents first while he still has time, and then stay with your parents where, I presume, you are familiar with the language.

My parents house and feed us without expecting any contributions. I usually do some of the grocery shopping and pay, and we take them out. They would be insulted if I offered them money. When they visit us in the US, they get spoiled and taken out. Most of the time DH and/or I are doing outings with our kids and pay for those; so my parents' expenses are not really that much higher - just groceries.

We do not do regular school when we are visiting overseas. It is understood that this is our vacation time. I just keep a list of field trips and books we read. My parents know that we do more formal schooling when we are here and have our regular routine.

[HejKatt]

We have all our family overseas and are visiting them every year. We usually stay with my parents for 4-6 weeks (visit the inlaws for a few hours a couple of times; they are in the same town).

 

If you only speak one of the languages, you could stay with DH's parents first while he still has time, and then stay with your parents where, I presume, you are familiar with the language.

My parents house and feed us without expecting any contributions. I usually do some of the grocery shopping and pay, and we take them out. They would be insulted if I offered them money. When they visit us in the US, they get spoiled and taken out. Most of the time DH and/or I are doing outings with our kids and pay for those; so my parents' expenses are not really that much higher - just groceries.

We do not do regular school when we are visiting overseas. It is understood that this is our vacation time. I just keep a list of field trips and books we read. My parents know that we do more formal schooling when we are here and have our regular routine.

 

Thanks regentrude! I knew I wasn't the only person on the board in this situation. :)

 

I like your idea of staying with DH's family first, then mine. That's actually going to be the way it will work out, except there will be a year's gap in between (the cost of flights to either country eats up our vacation budget).

 

I also really like the idea of doing the grocery shopping and taking them out (so they don't feel like they have to cook all the time for us). Wonder what my DS's reaction to the 'wet market' will be.. :lol:

 

Thanks for the feedback about the field trips too. I'll make a list of places to visit, and send that ahead so my parents will know I've done some planning (and extrapolate that to the rest of our school year). ;)