Question for parents of kids with PDD

[Guest momk2000]

My dd (now 10yrs) was diagnosed with PDD-NOS about a year ago. She is very high functioning, and her quirks, etc... are likely not too noticable to others. Dh and I are very in tune to the issues she is dealing with, but it is likely others would not even pick up on them.

My question, and reason for this post: Are your kids aware of their diagnosis?

My dd takes medication daily, and she knows she has some "issues". Upon diagnosis last year, we asked the social worker, psychiatrist, pediatrician if we should tell her about her diagnosis. They all seemed to advise against it. I can still quote exactly how the social worker put it: "Would you want someone telling you your Autistic?" I was was very put off by this, because if dd was diabetic nobody would hesitate to tell her that. This has been a huge battle going on inside my mind for the past year. I feel strongly that she should know what she is dealing with, but I know once we tell her there is no turning back. I also worry that if we don't tell her, she may be resentful years down the road when she finds out. The chances are slim that she would hear it from anyone else, but what if that should happen? Only our immediate families know, but there's always that chance. I don't want to have any regrets either way. My gut tells me she should know, and I have never regretted going with my gut (I have regretted not doing so though).

Have you discussed your child's diagnosis with them? If so, are you glad you did it?

 

I know this is a bit long winded, thanks for listening.

[Niffercoo]

My dd (now 10yrs) was diagnosed with PDD-NOS about a year ago. She is very high functioning, and her quirks, etc... are likely not too noticable to others. Dh and I are very in tune to the issues she is dealing with, but it is likely others would not even pick up on them.

My question, and reason for this post: Are your kids aware of their diagnosis?

My dd takes medication daily, and she knows she has some "issues". Upon diagnosis last year, we asked the social worker, psychiatrist, pediatrician if we should tell her about her diagnosis. They all seemed to advise against it. I can still quote exactly how the social worker put it: "Would you want someone telling you your Autistic?" I was was very put off by this, because if dd was diabetic nobody would hesitate to tell her that. This has been a huge battle going on inside my mind for the past year. I feel strongly that she should know what she is dealing with, but I know once we tell her there is no turning back. I also worry that if we don't tell her, she may be resentful years down the road when she finds out. The chances are slim that she would hear it from anyone else, but what if that should happen? Only our immediate families know, but there's always that chance. I don't want to have any regrets either way. My gut tells me she should know, and I have never regretted going with my gut (I have regretted not doing so though).

Have you discussed your child's diagnosis with them? If so, are you glad you did it?

 

I know this is a bit long winded, thanks for listening.

 

We have absolutely told both of our kids. There is no reason to be ashamed of being autistic. I do understand your hesitation, however. My son is extremely self-conscious and does not want anyone to know he has autism/aspergers. I wish we had done a better job when he was first diagnosed at age 10. We didn't explain very well what our purpose was with therapy and he got it into his head that he was quite broken and we were trying to fix him. :(

 

As for the fact that other people in your family know, that is a red flag for me. You simply MUST tell your daughter if others around her know. I grew up being the subject of a family secret. When I was a young teen, one of my cousins got mad at me and blurted out the secret (which apparently she and her sister had been told by their parents). It was devastating to me.

 

That's my .02 anyway! Good luck with your decision!

[Nature]

I told my son right from the beginning and would definitely do it again. It surprises me that those professionals would advise against telling your daughter that she has autism.

Professionally, I have worked with parents of older kids who now want to tell their child of their diagnosis. It’s very rare that the child has received the news without feeling resentful towards the parents. It’s not because of the actual diagnosis, but because of the lack of trust with the parents. In the majority of the cases, the child knew that he wasn’t like others, and realizing that there is a logical explanation to his symptoms made him feel better.

 

I would say-go with your gut!

[Guest momk2000]

Thank you both so much for your responses. I will have to talk with my husband and make sure he is on board with this. I absolutely feel like it's the right thing.