Anyone else have a whole family of ADHD including mom and dad?

[Superfly]

Just curious if there are any others out there and how your family handles it? Things can get a little wonky at our house and we all struggle with sticking to our routine. I especially struggle with impulsivity and then get down when I see how behind we are because we took off to go [plug in any random activity] instead of following the days lesson plan. I guess I'm looking for more tools for myself and the kids. We are all unmedicated. I've been taking a lot of ideas from other posts that I hope to implement in the spring. I've listed those on my blog:

http://dcuniversehs.blogspot.com/2010/12/spring-curriculum-and-schedule-changes.html

But those don't really address our biggest issues which are

1. Getting started. By the time we get back from the gym(I have diabetes so this is a must), get dressed, pickup, etc....it's usually at least 11am. If we get sidetracked while out of the house, it's sometimes afternoon. I know ppl without ADHD, that all probably sounds silly, but for me its a huge problem that I can't seem to get a handle on.
   
2. Getting bored with school after about 2 weeks. That's all of us.
   
3. Getting stressed out or disetracked by clutter/disorganization. I like my house tidy and clean, but we are like hurricanes. The house can go from spotless to disaster in like an hour...literally. And none of us seem to notice while its happening. To some ppl this would be a non-issue, but I can't focus like that. So I will start hyperfocusing on housework until I look up and its dinner time and the walls and baseboards have been washed.
   

Can anybody help me?????:tongue_smilie:

TIA!

[ondreeuh]

Well, I'm not ADHD but I am a bit impulsive and distractable. Getting started at a reasonable time and sticking with it until we're through is always a struggle. I don't even try to start until my 3-year-old is down for his nap, because it's just too hard for me to juggle him and school at the same time. I keep our materials on a desk next to the dining room table, and we pretty much work through our stack every day. I just have to work at limiting the outside distractions so that we don't get sidetracked. Some days are better than others!

[RachelFlores]

I was diagnosed as a kid, and my kids both show signs, dh is pretty "normal" though. Anyway, this is our first year homeschooling and our schedule has been a struggle. I have found time and again, simpler is better. I have to keep reminding myself that dd is only 5 and we don't have to fit everything in this year. I switched my teacher intensive, multiple curriculums schedule to a short, all in one program and I have to say, there is a lot less stress and we actually are getting school done every week. We are using Heart of Dakota right now. Is it my perfect curriculum? No, but we actually get it done and dd likes most of what we do so it is head and shoulders above what we were doing, or should I say supposed to be doing.

 

Can you work out in the afternoon? It really helps me if we have specific things we can't do before we finish school. We can never watch TV untill we finish school and usually we can't go anywhere till we finish school. Sure, there are still days we start late, but usually this keeps me focused. Does it always work? No, nothing seems to ALWAYS work, but it works far more days than it doesn't.

 

I also try to find times to fit learning into where dd doesn't have to be still. Dd has the hardest time sitting while I do read alouds with her so we do read alouds while I rock her in our rocking chair or I read to her while she is taking a bath. She retains a lot more this way too.

 

I totally understand hyperfocusing. I wish I hyperfocused on housework, but I usually hyperfocus on books so it gets put on my list of things I can't do till school is done. Could you start the day with cleaning, then school then working out and errands and everything else?

 

With getting bored, have you thought about a three weeks on, one week off schedule? You would get a full school year in that way, but with lots of breaks. For me, I need less breaks, because I have problems refocusing after a break. We get bored sometimes, but my opinion is that school isn't always going to be super interesting and fun, sometimes you just have to do it. I try to always make sure that there is something dd will enjoy each day though like an art project or some dramatic play.

 

Anyway, this was pretty rambly, I hope you find something that helps. :D

[sewgirlie]

We struggle with a lot of the same issues you do! There are a few things I've found that help...

We have to do our schoolwork first thing in the morning or we don't get it done. Also we work 6 days a week, so if we miss one day, it's no big deal.

The house has to be picked up and the dishes done after dinner or I can't concentrate on school in the morning. My dh knows this is not negotiable and he is expected to help (by directing dc).

We started on the Feingold diet for our 4 year old ds and it helped everyone, especially with our attitudes and being able to stick with a task until it's complete.

We use a self-teaching (mostly) curriculum for our 10 year old. That way, even if I get distracted, she does a full day of work each day. Or I can add on fun things if I'm feeling ambitious.

I hope you can find a solution for your family. I'll be checking back to see if I can pick up any new ideas too.

[JulieD]

I don't think I'm ADHD, but a lot of the problems you have I've experienced. I don't know as my kids are either, although they have certain symptops also. But I wanted to reach out to you anyway.

 

Problem 1: Wow! You get up and go the gym! That's great you're taking such good care of yourself. Do you go everyday? If you are that's a great start for a routine. Routines work better for me than schedules. I try to squeeze other things in if I have a few minutes, and then everything falls apart. (Leading to problem 3 :D)

 

If errands are sidetracking you, I find that having a specific time to run errands really helps me focus. So no running to the store or the bank or the post office or even the library unless it is Wednesday afternoon.

 

If it's other things, you'll have to think about how important it is to you and when would be the best time to fit it in.

 

Problem 2: I'm pretty sure that happens to everybody! Sometimes it's just so hard to start a day off. I go through streaks where it's a real struggle. I have a friend though, who I've asked to help keep me on task. Usually we only talk every week or so, but if necessary she'll call me every day. This really helps me a lot.

 

Problem 3: This is so hard. Have you tried Flylady? It may be too cluttered for you to use it now; I found it helped me more when it was more focused on just cleaning and organization. However, part of loving yourself is doing now what you don't want to do later. That idea was very powerful for me and made me more conscious of leaving the scissors on the counter, leaving the book on the couch, leaving the markers on the table, etc. Putting them away when I'm done means I don't have to do a lot of picking up later. My children seem to finally be catching on to the idea.

 

I can't start school in a cluttered house either, so everything has to be picked up before bed. I don't like it, the kids don't like it, but the mornings are so much better. And after we pick up we all get to read, which we like, so it's a little reward.

 

General: When my kids were small we worked best in subject spurts, but it's not ideal for learning skills. After much trial and error and many programs, we found something that worked for us. We did half a lesson of math (We used Rightstart, but I would think you could do something similar with Saxon?), 5 minutes of handwriting practice, 5 minutes of phonics practice (the OPGTR type), 5 minutes of team reading from the easy readers when she was ready, and then 20-30 minutes of Mommy reading. We did these everyday; with one child it took a little over an hour. Our Bible time has never been considered part of school time, though we do that everyday as well.

 

Maybe if you considered something like that to be your core school, you could do it five days a week. Your younger daughter would only need the 5 minutes of phonics practice individually right now; Mommy reading time can be shared. It would all be done in an hour and a half, the last half hour is fun, and then would come lunch.

 

Then you could fill in the afternoons with the other stuff. Your blog shows you all doing lots of wonderful, educational things. But you can throw in the workbooks as well, just let your kids work through them at their own pace. You can plunge into nature study for a couple of weeks, and then spend a couple of weeks seeing what was going on in ancient times. I always find starting something new excites me and that rubs off on the kids. Plus I'm willing to work through the old stuff to get to the new.

 

If you want to use FLL and WWE they do work better on a regular schedule, but I don't think it's as critical that they're everyday at this point.

 

Realize now that working independently on assigned schoolwork is a long-term goal. No work that is still frustrating for them should be assigned independently. Build independent skills with things they like first. It's not until they're about 10 or so that they can learn new skill concepts (as opposed to content) on their own.

 

As the girls get older some things will fall off the core schedule, but more things will be added, and your day will get longer. But that's OK because you've built up to it gradually. We still find very short lessons in skill areas work best for us. We don't do well with combined LA programs because they end up seeming too long. It's easier for us to spend a little time on four different programs than a long time on just one, even if it's really the same length of time. Of course, not everyone is like that; some people really like the cohesiveness of a combined program.

 

I hope I didn't overwhelm you. Don't worry; you will figure this out.

 

Julie D.

[lamamaloca]

We do! I have zero advice though, because I haven't figured anything out.

[Superfly]

Thank you all so much for your input! I think I need to make a running list of ideas so I can try them out in the spring.

[emilia]

We are on the Feingold diet too. Love it. We (DD and myself) are both on target with school and the house isn't too crazy.

I use skedtrack to organize school. I have each subject and the manipulatives in plastic locking bins. This way I can get out math bin and do the 20-30 min lesson. I put it away and then grab the next subject bin and go. I try to pick up and put away before starting a new task. I find myself scrubbing baseboards too but I am not a neat freak so that helps a lot. I try to include DD in the pitting away before moving on. She whines but it is good for all in the long run.

[Superfly]

We are on the Feingold diet too. Love it. We (DD and myself) are both on target with school and the house isn't too crazy.

I use skedtrack to organize school. I have each subject and the manipulatives in plastic locking bins. This way I can get out math bin and do the 20-30 min lesson. I put it away and then grab the next subject bin and go. I try to pick up and put away before starting a new task. I find myself scrubbing baseboards too but I am not a neat freak so that helps a lot. I try to include DD in the pitting away before moving on. She whines but it is good for all in the long run.

 

We switched to workboxes, which is similar to your plastic bins and we really like this method. It makes clean up easier, and DD seems to have a better idea of what comes next and how long her day will be.

 

Do you guys know where I can find out more about the Feingold diet without buying their kit? Do I really need it? I'm on a pretty strict diet because I also have fibromyalgia, PCOS, and diabetes. I'm doing the guaifenesin therapy, which has been wonderful, plus I eat gluten-free, low corn, aspartame free and MSG free(at least try to). But I admit I'm not great with the kids. DH eats total trash, extra processed junk. I tried not having it in the house, but DH said no way. Of course the kids would much eat daddy's Doritos and white bread PB&J than mom's homemade bread grilled cheese and veggies.

[abrightmom]

Just curious if there are any others out there and how your family handles it? Things can get a little wonky at our house and we all struggle with sticking to our routine. I especially struggle with impulsivity and then get down when I see how behind we are because we took off to go [plug in any random activity] instead of following the days lesson plan. I guess I'm looking for more tools for myself and the kids. We are all unmedicated. I've been taking a lot of ideas from other posts that I hope to implement in the spring. I've listed those on my blog:

http://dcuniversehs.blogspot.com/2010/12/spring-curriculum-and-schedule-changes.html

But those don't really address our biggest issues which are

1. Getting started. By the time we get back from the gym(I have diabetes so this is a must), get dressed, pickup, etc....it's usually at least 11am. If we get sidetracked while out of the house, it's sometimes afternoon. I know ppl without ADHD, that all probably sounds silly, but for me its a huge problem that I can't seem to get a handle on.
   
2. Getting bored with school after about 2 weeks. That's all of us.
   
3. Getting stressed out or disetracked by clutter/disorganization. I like my house tidy and clean, but we are like hurricanes. The house can go from spotless to disaster in like an hour...literally. And none of us seem to notice while its happening. To some ppl this would be a non-issue, but I can't focus like that. So I will start hyperfocusing on housework until I look up and its dinner time and the walls and baseboards have been washed.
   

Can anybody help me?????:tongue_smilie:

TIA!

I'm of no use to you whatsoever except to say that this sounds EXACTLY like me (not the diabetes part though - so sorry about that). Hmmmmm. Really and truly . . . I'm watching this thread.

 

I use a timer for myself. I have to FORCE myself to 1) Stay on task for X number of minutes OR 2) Stop this "not as important" task in X number of minutes to make dinner or do some other MORE important task. I need to use the timer today in fact :D.

[emilia]

If you are truly interested int he feingold diet without forking out the $$ I will certainly do my best to assist you. IMO it has been worth every penny but...DH is cooperative. We do not allow unapproved stuff in the house. that doesn't mean we don't eat junk! We eat plenty of junk. But it is junk food without artificial colors and preservatives. lol