I'll admit it, I am a big chicken!

[fhjmom]

I am having some serious tooth pain and I have two large, visible cavities that need attention. We were without dental insurance for a while so I used that as an excuse, but now we have it and there is a dentist near DH's work willing to work with us on co-pays and deductibles. Plus I am in pain. I *HAVE* to go to the dentist!

 

The problem is I have a true fear of dentist. I won't call it a phobia because I think it is well deserved and not irrational based on my experience with dentists. Growing up, I was fine going to the dentist, then over a period of about five years (several years ago), I had all of the following happen:

 

- Dentist A: He gave me a shot to numb my mouth but never even started the procedure; I started having chest pain, heart palpitations, shortness of breath. He wanted to call an ambulance and have me go to the ER but I called my dad instead. I ended up being fine shortly after (if it hadn't cleared up pretty quickly upon leaving the office, I was going to have Dad take me to the ER). I never figured out why unless it was a reaction to the medicine, and I don't think it was a panic attack (I never had one before or since).

 

- Dentist B: actually a specialist that does only root canals; I told him I had TMJ and I could not open my mouth very wide without excruciating pain. He actually grabbed my jaw and jerked my mouth open forcefully, upon which it popped and I screamed in pain with tears immediately rolling down my cheeks. His only response, "Oh, I guess you really do have TMJ." Not only that, I find out about a year and a half later, the root canal wasn't "successful" and I needed another one done on the same tooth. At the time I could have gone back to the same guy for only $700-800 (with insurance and the discount for it not being done right the first time) or pay twice that for someone else to do it. That tooth never got a second root canal.

 

- Dentist C: I really like this dentist, personality wise, but I have one filling in a very noticable place that fell out right after he did it. My DH was seeing him at the same time and he had some pretty bad gum issues dues to his tobacco use (I know, :tongue_smilie:). We told them up front we needed to know how much it was going to cost and that if was over a certain amount, we couldn't have the treatment done at that time. I even went in and sat down with the office manager to go over what insurance would pay, what our cost was, etc. We were told it would be about $800. DH has the work done and insurance refuses to pay $1200 of what they said would be covered - so the total was $2000 instead of $800. We were struggling to come up with the $800 so there is no way we could do the $2000. It gets turned over to a collection agency almost immediately that was horribly rude and harassing. They literally had me in tears during a phone call. DH didn't want me to go back and see about the filling that fell out so that tooth never got re-filled.

 

Add to that my hearing loss that happpened over the last ten years, which makes it necessary for me to lip read. No matter how often I tell them this, the dentists and hygenists still try to talk with me with their masks on. Not being able to understand their communication increases my already high-anxiety exponentially!:tongue_smilie:

 

I can't be picky about dentists because of our insurance (I need to max out benefits and there are almost *no* dentists in our area that are on the preferred list). I can't ask for any medication or anything to relieve anxiety unless insurance covers it, we just don't have the money.

 

We are heading out to run a few errands, but I am hoping for a few motivating replies that will help me pick up the phone and make the appointment this afternoon. I keep telling myself any pain I have at the dentist can't be worse than what I am already dealing with daily. My biggest fear is that I will get there and they will tell me that the only thing to do is a bunch of expensive work that we can't afford, so I won't really be any better off than before.

[lllll]

..

[Evergreen State Sue]

It sounds like you have been through a lot and I can see why you would be fearful. I don't like the dentist either. I went several years without going to a dentist and with each year that passed, my fear got bigger.

 

My motivator now in going is the fear of pain. I've felt pain without dental checkups and dental work and I have felt relief afterwards. Tooth pain is worse than the several hours I'd need to be in the dentist chair. The more frequently I go, the better it gets. Less fear, and fewer times I've had to have dental work. It is music to my ears when I hear, "Looks good, see you in 6 months!"

 

I suggest you call right away. I've been in the waiting room overhearing the receptionist take calls from new patients who obviously want to get in right away. They will not do work without an initial dental exam. I don't know how easy it is to get into your dentist, but if you can get brave enough to make that first call, maybe you won't even have to go in for a few days.

[Dana]

You might ask your doctor for dentist suggestions.

I've had some bad experiences with dentists - and I've had some who are great.

 

If I feel uncomfortable with a dentist, I'll leave. Had one that just felt a bit off to me, so I did the initial cleaning with him and then looked for a different dentist!

 

One idea... are you active with any groups for the deaf? Would someone through an organization like that have suggestions of a dentist who might be a good fit?

 

Good luck! It's a bit of a rough process finding someone you can work with and who'll listen to you, but it'll be worth it!

[JenneinCA]

The only idea I have is to suggest you bring someone along with you to the appointment to 'translate' for you. I suspect your hearing issues are hard for the staff to remember and then it causes issues. If you had an advocate there that person could remind them to either move the mask so you can understand or repeat the instructions for you.

 

I am sorry you are having a hard time and I hope you are without pain soon.

[fhjmom]

Thanks for all the encouragement! I did call and make an appointment for a week from Wednesday. I didn't expect to get in right away and wanted to wait until next week anyway (after payday). The scheduler was very nice and assured me that *chickens* were kind of their specialty. They would do everything possible to make me feel at ease. She also said they have several deaf patients and are fine with removing their mask or using pen and paper if necessary. She was very nice and that made me feel better. Now if I can last a week and a half without freaking myself out during the wait. :tongue_smilie: