I angered a piano teacher today and I can't get why. Can I ask you all...?

[NanceXToo]

I don't think you did anything wrong in that I can definitely understand why you asked the question, and it would not have offended me if you'd asked me.

 

But I can see why she might have taken that as you wanting to know how old she is and that you potentially would have discriminated against her for her age or something. But once you explained why you were asking, I would have thought she'd understood...

 

...ah well, better you find out right away that you don't click with her rather than getting beyond the initial phone call/inquiry stage.

 

Maybe if you talk to somebody else (not sure if you're still "interviewing" lol) you can word it a little bit differently... "Do you plan on continuing to teach piano for the long term? I know things can come up unexpectedly, but generally speaking I want to hire someone who is going to be able to stick with my son in his early years rather than starting with somebody who has retirement plans for the near future." Or something like that.

[MaryElizabeth]

THANKS ALL!

 

I agree with the consensus that I didn't ask anything inappropriate.

I will word it a little differently in the future with something like,

"Having continuity in my son's instruction in the early years is important to me....." and THEN get to the question and say, "Do you have any plans on leaving the teaching profession in the near future?" etc.

But.....she's still off the list. In a way I'm glad I worded it just like this and that her irascible-nature shined through RIGHT off. I'm sure it would have cropped up and been a problem soon thereafter had we gone that route.

Edited October 26, 2010 by MaryElizabeth

[lionfamily1999]

THANKS ALL!

 

I agree with the consensus that I didn't ask anything inappropriate.

I will word it a little differently in the future with something like,

"Having continuity in my son's instruction in the early years is important to me....." and THEN get to the question and say, "Do you have any plans on leaving the teaching profession in the near future?" etc.

But.....she's still off the list.

How about, "Could I depend on you to continue his music education until..." If you made it a more positive statement (rather than anything like are you quitting) it might go over better.

[atara]

A piano teacher is not being "hired". A student and/or the student's family is not her employer. They are a business providing a service. If I ask the girl who does my hair if she's going to start a family soon, am I breaking the law?

 

:iagree:This is correct. Teachers are also making the decision if they want you in their studio as well. And...teachers talk, not just parents.;) Your question is also assuming that she will never drop you.

 

I had to release many students after my baby and I had NO intention of doing so prior to my pregnancy. It was hard on me because I had no idea how much Motherhood would take over my life in the most wonderful way. It was hard on families because they were blindsided, not expecting me to "give up" on their child. I still feel horrible about it, but I truly could not have predicted that. If it were a perfect world I would have told the parents sooner. I really thought my work life would be exactly the same so I had no reason to plan otherwise. I was completely unprepared for what was to come. The daycare was set, the schedule was made - then baby came and it all went upside down!!

 

My advice is don't worry so much about how long a teacher will or won't be teaching. Although I can appreciate the question, no one can say what life will hold. Stay in the moment. If you find a teacher you love, enjoy it as long as you can.:001_smile:

Edited October 26, 2010 by atara
oh I just keep thinking of stuff!

[HS Mom in NC]

None of your questions were inappropriate and none were poorly phrased. There is no need to rephrase anything because you didn't say anything wrong. Asking if someone has plans to retire anytime soon is not a negative thing. It is perfectly neutral.

 

This woman clearly has some issue going on with her that is unrelated to your call. She gives the impression that she doesn't like it if someone dares to question her-not a good impression to make to someone who will have a child asking questions weekly for years.

 

I have hired two piano teachers, one guitar teacher, and a violin teacher in addition to interviewing more than half a dozen I didn't hire. I questioned each of them extensively (including at length comparing and contrasting traditional vs. Suzuki) and they always sounded genuinely happy to answer my questions fully. I also used to play in a small ensemble with several music teachers. They LOVE to talk about how they teach and why they teach the way they do.

 

Hiring a person's services and hiring them as a an employee may not be the exactly same thing, but the phrase "hiring them" is commonly used in both instances.

[FloridaLisa]

Another vote for not offensive and perfectly fair question. Guess you crossed that one off your list pretty easily.

 

Lisa