What would you do if ...

[Jean in Newcastle]

I would not quit boy scouts all together. In fact, I'm not sure about skipping boy scout camp either, although I do understand the reasoning.

 

I would (and have) given my boy that age (with the exact same attitude problem) more work.

 

I would also give him more opportunity to work for fun stuff. Ie. have him be in charge of getting together all supplies for boy scout camp etc. If he balks at that, then he definitely doesn't deserve to have the fun result (the actual camp).

 

Try (I know it is hard at this age) to give him lots of positive strokes for the good choices he makes.

[Teachin'Mine]

It's summer, so I might ask him to find a way to make money over the summer - working for someone other than his own family. It might not be realistic for him to make the full amount, but he should be able to get close if he's willing to work. Yard work, garage organizing, etc.. I would think the balance could be earned by working at your house doing whatever jobs you need done. He could also help out with the cooking when it comes time to restock the freezer.

 

I think I'd also ask him to make a sign for the freezer that he can put there to remind him to make sure the door is closed.

 

I also like the idea of a different menu for a while so the importance is clearly understood. But I think once that was done, and at least part of the damage paid for by the guilty party, I'd let it drop so he isn't constantly reminded of his mistake. Admittedly, I've done that too. :tongue_smilie:

[Cheryl in NM]

We also have this attitude problem at times. I sympathize. I usually end up losing my cool and yelling. I applaud your patience and restraint!

 

I would not drop Boy Scouts completely, but the camp might be a fair punishment for the attitude. I would view the Boy Scouts as a valuable learning experience. It's similar to a class on character development with all that outdoorsy stuff added in. You wouldn't dis-enroll him from a class because of behavior issues. The camp on the other hand IS an extra. It WOULD provide valuable teaching moments, but it might bring home your point to your boy. He is being purely selfish right now.

 

I have learned with my ds that this attitude really translate into selfishness. You can't feel that kind of attitude if you are thinking of others and how you can help them. One thing I've done in the past is send him to do manual labor during one of his outburst. I usually require at least 15 minutes of seriously strenuous activity. Sometimes, he has to run "to the pavement and back"; that's 3/4 mile round trip. Since he's in sports; it is good conditioning as well as a way for him to work out his aggression. Sometimes you just need to sweat those nasty hormones out of them.

[texasmama]

The attitude would have earned my teen more work here, as another poster said. It is disrespectful, which is a bigger problem than carelessness. I would probably require him to increase demonstratated respect in whatever tangible manner I could think of for a time. I would explain to the teen that I didn't feel respected, that his attitude towards an authority figure is something that will affect him the rest of him life so you want him to learn how to be respectful under any condition, even stressful ones and that I would not be in a rush to take him somewhere fun or do things for him if I didn't feel respected. These are all pretty natural consequences of not respecting authority.

 

(And I know he is a sweet boy...I have a teen, too, who is wonderful and terrible all at once so I get it.:tongue_smilie:)

[texasmama]

So sorry for my terrible run on sentence in the post above. I hope my meaning is clear. I always hate to use terrible grammar/sentence structure here.:tongue_smilie: