Teens

[secular_mom]

My 15yod is perfect. :lol:

We are pretty much radical unschoolers, and my kids really don't have much to rebel against. I have different 'goals' for my children than 'most' Americans seem to have for theirs. My daughter has no desire to try any sort of drugs, she hates taking medicine when she needs it. She's way too rational and mature. She loves her mommy, when we have any disagreement we just chill out in our own space till we get over any angry feelings. She's very accepting of reality, understands that she CAN not always get 'her way', and doesn't expect to. That's all I'm willing to say about her. I don't micromanage her/her time, or any thing else. I don't think that it is inevitable that ALL teens will rebel and go through periods of substance abuse and hating their parents. I think it depends on the teen, the parents, their relationship and then peers.

 

I think it really helps to respect teens as people and not talk about them as though they have no brains just because they have differing POV's and not the same quantity of life experience as an adult. They've experienced a lifetime of living/interacting.

[Denisemomof4]

Issues with teens are just bigger. When they're little, you're teaching to share, not to hit, to be nice, etc.

 

Teen issues are more serious and worrisome. They don't have to be BAD, although that happens, too, but they are harder. I hated that my oldest bought a Celica.

 

I worry about my teens more, but I also enjoy them more. Yes, babies are cute and fun and all, but I REALLY love having teens.

 

And one thing I never considered that I'm flattered about - my sons are coming to me for dating advice. The youngest, I tell him he's so young. Don't rush things. I hope he'll listen. But my oldest - I'm surprised at how open and honest he is with me about his relationship.

 

I was worried about having teens at one time, too, but really - just relax and enjoy your kids. They'll be 18 before you know it. I just can't believe my oldest is 18. I get choked up all the time, I will miss him SO much when he leaves.

[PineFarmMom]

Does anyone have a teen or older, that has a good relationship with them?

 

 

 

I so remember struggling over this when mine were younger. I used to read posts and hear stories that would trouble me. I prayed a lot and asked for lots of guidance from the Lord. We're not "through" the teens yet, but I have a very good relationship with my kids. My nearly 15yo dd is very fun and we get along great. She makes good choices. I can't write in stone that that will continue perfectly until she's gotten through the teens, college, and her start in life, but I'm going to pray that it continues.

 

I think the key, from all that I've seen of friends and mentor-type moms who I look up to in this area, is that they stay close to their children, protect them and are aware of their lives; they guard their hearts and guard their relationships with them. I work very hard at that. I guard their friendships and what they take in. I have assisted my dd in moving away from a friendship that wasn't good for her. It was a hard decision for me, because it felt controlling, but it was the best move!!! She moved on to some really fantastic friends whose parents have similar goals, etc. She's grateful to have let that go, as time and space has shown her it wasn't good.

 

We're certainly not done, but I'm praying for guidance!!