DD feels like she's going no where...

[HSHS]

DD told me that she feels like when she finished school, then uni, she feels like she'll just be stuck... that she'll find it difficult to get along with people her own age (she does at the minute - she uses words too long for people, and isn't into the whole 'jumping up and down and squeeling' thing that teenage girls do) and she won't be able to put her giftedness to good use.

 

I don't know what to tell her. I know she's always got the option of self-education and such but I don't know what to tell her. She feels like everything ends at 16, basically. She doesn't know what she could do with her giftedness when she grows up. Help? S:

[Calm37]

My oldest daughter is just like this! She did not ever have a close friend after her one friend moved away at age 10. I spent a year doing a small Sunday School class with her at age 14 and she took off with that and has run our Children's Church for many years. She also directs our church's VBS in the summer.

 

My daughter was not thrilled about the whole "growing up" thing. She did take a gap year after high school to work on her writing and the stories that overflow from her. She has a very part-time job at the Hallmark in town. She does her college work by correspondence from Whitefield College (which is tons of writing, too much writing for most students) and is a junior majoring in Bible. Her part-time job covers her college expenses (about $3,000/yr).

 

Just this last year she started doing the curriculum "One Year Adventure Novel" and she has joined their forum. She has found many like-minded homeschool kids there and is involved in writing her own story and critiquing the stories of others. She really enjoys the fellowship there. She is older than most, but doesn't care as long as she is learning.

 

All of this, I will add, came through prayer and more prayer, often with tears. I don't know if you are a religious family or not, but you can help your daughter see that she is looking too far ahead. You don't know what you will be doing in 2 years either! It all will unfold as she walks it out. I think kids this age can learn so much about themselves through service of some kind to others. There are lots of opportunities out there and they are often happy to allow Moms and kids to work alongside each other.

[HSHS]

Thank you for your message Cathy. When DD left school she basically fell out of contact with her best friend of ten years. But she's told me she thinks most of them were friends with her just because it was convenient, not because they wanted to be. Her group of friends has also disbanded from roughly 20 of them and split three or four different ways now so DD was likely the only thing holding them together.

 

DD isn't religious, which is strange since she did go to a Church of England school for years. But I sent her there for the academics more than anything. I'm not religious myself, but I think DD would have found comfort in it from the things she's gone through recently. As my mother has said though, she wouldn't have got through what she did if she wasn't as clever as she is. I suppose that's her replacement. xD

 

My DD's very thrilled about the whole growing up thing (she's very, very independent & also aiming to go to uni early) but it's the whole what-happens-after-uni questions. Like, when she's working, after a while there'll be nothing left for her to learn about her job.

 

Plus she's very insistant that she wants to use her gifted-ness well and not waste it. I suppose the most obvious answer is 'become a doctor' or something but DD is honest about the fact that she's not very hands-on. She's a people person, but she's not good at science, practical things (having to learn how to give someone a needle would be her worst nightmare, etc xD) or anything potentially squeemish.

 

Aghhhhhh! :confused:

 

My oldest daughter is just like this! She did not ever have a close friend after her one friend moved away at age 10. I spent a year doing a small Sunday School class with her at age 14 and she took off with that and has run our Children's Church for many years. She also directs our church's VBS in the summer.

 

My daughter was not thrilled about the whole "growing up" thing. She did take a gap year after high school to work on her writing and the stories that overflow from her. She has a very part-time job at the Hallmark in town. She does her college work by correspondence from Whitefield College (which is tons of writing, too much writing for most students) and is a junior majoring in Bible. Her part-time job covers her college expenses (about $3,000/yr).

 

Just this last year she started doing the curriculum "One Year Adventure Novel" and she has joined their forum. She has found many like-minded homeschool kids there and is involved in writing her own story and critiquing the stories of others. She really enjoys the fellowship there. She is older than most, but doesn't care as long as she is learning.

 

All of this, I will add, came through prayer and more prayer, often with tears. I don't know if you are a religious family or not, but you can help your daughter see that she is looking too far ahead. You don't know what you will be doing in 2 years either! It all will unfold as she walks it out. I think kids this age can learn so much about themselves through service of some kind to others. There are lots of opportunities out there and they are often happy to allow Moms and kids to work alongside each other.

[JennW in SoCal]

Your dd would probably benefit from getting out into the world and seeing all the amazing and wonderful careers there are out there. And get to know all the interesting adults who have never stopped learning, who put their gifts to all kinds of interesting uses.

 

My ds started volunteering when he was 13, and it was the best thing he ever did. He loved working with adults and now that he has graduated and is working, he has excellent work habits that are valued by his employers. Both my boys have always enjoyed the company of adults more than that of their peers, at least during the turbulent middle school years. They have started enjoying their peers more has those peers have matured past puberty.

 

Learning never stops unless you let it stop. Using giftedness does not mean you can only be a doctor! There are many brilliant people in other professions. College professors and other teachers, the good ones at least, are always reading and learning about their subjects and honing their skills. Many professors are busy doing their own independent research and publishing articles. Writers and artists have to research and analyze, and incorporate the information in with their creative ideas.

 

The way to learn about the world is to simply start asking people if she can visit their workplace. If they invite her to visit, have her ask questions -- what kind of education did you have, what do you like about this job, are there volunteer opportunities for a kid like me. She can do this more formally by requesting "informational interviews" with people from all kinds of businesses. She would be the one running the interview, and you could have her write up what she learns. Call it a career explorations course.

 

If she truly loves writing, then start attending talks given by authors at local book stores. Write favorite authors and ask them about their careers. Keep your eyes open for writing groups in the area, or start one for homeschoolers.

 

Just get her out of the house, break out of the public school mentality that school is the only place where learning happens. Encourage her to explore her interests in depth.

[AnitaMcC]

DD told me that she feels like when she finished school, then uni, she feels like she'll just be stuck... that she'll find it difficult to get along with people her own age (she does at the minute - she uses words too long for people, and isn't into the whole 'jumping up and down and squeeling' thing that teenage girls do) and she won't be able to put her giftedness to good use.

 

I don't know what to tell her. I know she's always got the option of self-education and such but I don't know what to tell her. She feels like everything ends at 16, basically. She doesn't know what she could do with her giftedness when she grows up. Help? S:

 

 

I wonder if her feelings are typical of teens. I think many teens have a difficult time seeing what their future paths are about. It is easy enough for kids like ours to see as far as getting through their university/college years but not what is beyond.

 

Your Dd personality sounds similar to my Dd. My Dd isn't into the typical 'jumping up and down and squeeling' thing either. She never has been that girly girl. My Dd is very serious and focused. She feels out of place with "typical" teenaged girls. My Dd gets much livelier and outgoing around other people who share her interests and who are "mature" in attitude/behavior (at least more mature than the average teenage squealing girls)

[HSHS]

She's always been one of those 'where am i going?' type of kids but I don't think the job she'll be doing or whatever worries her. She's worries about whether she'll be putting her gift to good use because she feels a responsibility with it? I don't know quite how to explain it.

 

Her interests have narrowed considerably in the last few weeks alone and I think she'll get closer to picking a career soon but we'll definately put that 'getting out there' idea into action. I think she'd love to find out about all different careers and such. She's been researching different careers for a while and has never found the 'perfect career'.

 

And it sounds like our DDs would get along Anita. :D

[Dana]

There's always things to learn. I taught myself to crochet. Took me 10 years since none of the dratted books really explained how to do a slip knot, but I have quite the sense of accomplishment for doing it entirely myself.

 

I get into a topic for a while and read everything I can about it. Not part of a job in any way, but still learning, challenging, and entertaining.

 

I used my research and organizational abilities when I did research on homeschooling and made the decision.

 

Many jobs will still have things your daughter can learn. I think the average now is that people switch jobs every ten years. I teach at the community college here and even though I'm teaching the same course I've taught for 13 years now (eek - time flies), I'm still learning new ways to convey the material to my students.

[HSHS]

DD was actually pretty interested in teaching herself at elementary school level. I think she'd be a perfect gifted kids teacher. She does do very well in terms of relating to young children too so maybe it is a career she should look into with more depth.

 

I think the creativity and chaos would be brilliant too her too and she does have a knack for increasing people's self-confidence and self-esteem. I don't know how she does it. :001_rolleyes:

 

I'll mention teaching to her again later. I know that probably wasn't the point in your message but I was running with it. :D She's already said she wants to homeschool her own children, if she has any too so I'm glad her experience has been positive. (: