Guest karenkte Posted July 1, 2009 Share Posted July 1, 2009 My son is just 12yrs old. He has had problems at his last school with bullying and his peers which were sorted. This got worse at secondary school. He has been bullied and was reacting to this - getting him kicked out of school. He seems to have problems mainly in a social setting at school....I know provocation is going on but I think there is a problem with my son as well. He is impulsive and doesnt' think about the outcome of his actions. School suspended him for months then kept him isolated from all children on his return as situations were always ariring between him and other kids....some just horseplay .....but now it is give a dog a bad name! I had him tested and he has traits of aspergers and adhd but not enough for diagnosis. I am wondering if his iq scores can show anything - he has very high perceptual reasoning but not processing speed - could this be the cause of this social problems and hence behaviour problems .. If so why and what can i do. His results are on Weschler 1v Verbal 112 Vocabulary 11 Similarities 12 Comprehension 14 Digit 11 Letter no 13 Performance 123 Matrix 15 Block 12 Picture 14 Symbol 9 Coding 10 Thanks Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Mom22ns Posted July 1, 2009 Share Posted July 1, 2009 My son (the same age as yours) had a pdd-nos diagnosis because he had traits on the autistic spectrum but not enough to qualify for any other diagnosis. If he were evaluated now, they probably wouldn't even give him that. He went through the exact same thing in school. He did great in the K-4 building, but when he went to the 5-6 grade upper elementary it was a disaster. There was bullying and he got defensive and started over-reacting. It snowballed. The principal thought he was trouble. That was why we pulled him after 5th grade and started homeschooling! Now we have made sure he gets social opportunities that are positive to rebuild his confidence and trust in others. He spends time with friends one-on-one and groups are church, swimming and homeschool orchestra where he is socially successful. For us, removing him and letting him rebuild was the only way to solve it and he will never go back. If he did, he would fall right back in the old pattern. He has very similar issues to your son. He processes slowly and doesn't get all the social cues. My son has a very high IQ and the kids all know he is smart, but they also know he takes a long time to get certain things and that they can trick him with his naiveness about certain things. This isn't because he is sheltered, just because he doesn't process the social context of what they are saying. Younger kids were kind and wanted to be friends. Middle school kids want to kill off the weak in order to assure their place higher in the pack. I'm sorry I can't be more encouraging. The only thing I can tell you is I have been there and I feel your pain and frustration. I know what its like to recognize that its starting somewhere else, but that your child is reacting wrong too, but not be able to get them to change. My son doesn't react in those ways any more because he doesn't feel constantly threatened anymore. That was the only solution we could find. I hope you find a solution that works for your ds too. :grouphug: Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Guest karenkte Posted July 1, 2009 Share Posted July 1, 2009 Thanks for this......it is so reasurring to hear that someone else has been where I am now. The strain this has caused on the whole family has been horrendous. My son also gets on well in social activities outside of school but he is an only child and I'd like him to mix a lot more with other kids. I would love to invite other kids round but as he only mixes with them perhaps for an hour or so a week (eg.at scouts) he hasn't really built up enough of a friendship to invite them back. How did you deal with this problem? Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Misty Posted July 1, 2009 Share Posted July 1, 2009 Is homeschooling not an option? Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Mom22ns Posted July 2, 2009 Share Posted July 2, 2009 My son also gets on well in social activities outside of school but he is an only child and I'd like him to mix a lot more with other kids. I would love to invite other kids round but as he only mixes with them perhaps for an hour or so a week (eg.at scouts) he hasn't really built up enough of a friendship to invite them back. How did you deal with this problem? My son has a couple of friends from school and a couple from other activities. I tried to help initially with building the relationships to the point that they & their parents would be comfortable with coming over to "hang out". Once kids come to my house, they always want to come back:D. We have acreage, a small pool, a wii, a pool table, the list goes on and on. We are fun! We don't watch tv and so my kids are used to interacting and doing things. We have at least one friend over each week. Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
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