Struggling with chores/attitudes need suggestions!

[Katiebug_1976]

HELP!!!! My kids are driving me CRAZY!!! I'm hoping that a lot of it is baby hormones, but I know there are some problems that I need to address. I'm pretty sure I could handle the attitude issues better if I had a more structured daily schedule when it comes to helping out around the house. I struggle with how to divide up the chores, and then rotate because of the age differences. I'm wondering if we had a "family chore board" if that would make life easier? And if so, how do I create one that works? I'm just so tired of my house being a mess, and my kids fussing and sighing almost every time I ask them to help out. Now, I have to say that my kids are great helpers when they want to be, but lately it just seems like no one wants to do anything! I would love to hear your chore schedule, or any tips or thoughts that ou have. Any HELP is greatly Appreciated!

[whitestavern]

After trying many methods to get chores done, I've found what works best for my DC and myself is the "chore bag". I took a bunch of index cards, wrote a chore on each one, with an explanation of how to do the chore on the back. My kids are 6 & 9 so we have chores like can vacuum, dust, clean the car, scour bathrooms, etc. I throw in a couple of fun ones (make your own chore, help mom cook dinner--they both love to cook, and freebie day--no chore). I put all the index cards in a lunch size paper bag and every day the kids pick a chore out. During the school year they have until 5 pm to complete their chore. If they don't, they have to pick another one and immediately do both of those chores before anything else can be done. During the summer they have to do the chore in the morning after breakfast. Once a chore is done, it stays out of the bag until the bag is empty. Then they all get put back in. I had to remind them in the beginning to pick their chore and for the first week or two I would also remind them to do it, or sometimes I would say geez, can you believe it's already 4 o'clock? something like that. Now they are quite used to doing it and only occasionally forget. They like it because they don't always have the same chores to do and I like it because each week almost everything that needs to get done gets done.

[Katiebug_1976]

After trying many methods to get chores done, I've found what works best for my DC and myself is the "chore bag". I took a bunch of index cards, wrote a chore on each one, with an explanation of how to do the chore on the back. My kids are 6 & 9 so we have chores like can vacuum, dust, clean the car, scour bathrooms, etc. I throw in a couple of fun ones (make your own chore, help mom cook dinner--they both love to cook, and freebie day--no chore). I put all the index cards in a lunch size paper bag and every day the kids pick a chore out. During the school year they have until 5 pm to complete their chore. If they don't, they have to pick another one and immediately do both of those chores before anything else can be done. During the summer they have to do the chore in the morning after breakfast. Once a chore is done, it stays out of the bag until the bag is empty. Then they all get put back in. I had to remind them in the beginning to pick their chore and for the first week or two I would also remind them to do it, or sometimes I would say geez, can you believe it's already 4 o'clock? something like that. Now they are quite used to doing it and only occasionally forget. They like it because they don't always have the same chores to do and I like it because each week almost everything that needs to get done gets done.

 

Thank you for sharing that. I had never thought about assigning chores that way. That's a really neat idea!

[cougarmom4]

I found that when I was always rotating chores, they sometimes either didn't get done or didn't get done well. This summer I have just assigned specific things to each child--no rotation--those are their jobs for the summer. So if it's not done, there is no way to pass off the responsibility!

 

My kids fuss, too...and I can't say that I'm always consistent in the follow-through (which is, in my case, where the biggest problem lies!). I'm not sure if you are interested in the details, but here is what I do with my three children:

 

Each morning, each child is responsible for

1-Getting ready for the day (dressed, eat, brush hair & teeth)

2-Bedroom cleaned (make bed, floor picked up)

3-Dish chore (one loads & starts dishwasher; one puts away cereal & milk; one pushes chairs in & sweeps)

4-Laundry chore (one gathers dirties & sorts in laundry room; one gathers hangers & puts hanging clothes away; one either switches loads or folds)

5-Bathroom (they each have an assigned bathroom--they don't necessarily do all cleaning each day, but make sure things are picked up, toilet & sink clean, sweep, soap is full, towels are straightened, etc)

6-Empty Basket (each child has a labeled basket where their clean laundry is placed along with any toys/personal items left anywhere)

7-Music practice (20 minutes)

8-Schoolwork (in summer it consists of math facts, journals, reading)

 

Once they are done with these things, they are free for the day and have earned 45 minutes of screen time.

 

At dinner time, one empties dishwasher, one loads, one clears table. No rotation, they are stuck with the jobs (I got so tired of hearing complaining about who was doing what...occasionally they trade, but they work it out amongst themselves).

 

I also assigned each child a 'zone' to take care of during a ten-minute tidy that we try to do around 5 or 6. One child has the living room-front entry-stairway; one has the kitchen-dining area; another has the family room-garage entry-laundry room. When I say ten-minute tidy, they do a general pick-up--putting away as much as they can, putting personal items into assigned baskets if needed--basically pulling things into order.

 

The other thing I do I call five-minute fixers--a little bag with quick chores written on small tags (such as dust window blinds, wash front window, sweep front porch, etc). These are used when someone is bored, kids are fighting, we just need a little direction, etc. Another fighting chore is to fill an ice cream bucket with weeds. (Can you tell we have a lot of squabbles going on here?!? That's what drives me CRAZY)

 

In addition, I have a list of chores available for money. We don't do allowance, so my kids have to earn it by working--doing the extras. This list changes, but might include cleaning inside the van, organizing coat closet, cleaning the playroom all alone, weeding the garden, etc. Typically we have things for $1 or $2.

 

Okay...so all of this is my plan. If all went according to this plan, my house would be clean, my children would get along peacefully, and I would be a happy mom loving life. But typically something seems to get in the way and it doesn't always go so smoothly and I'm in the middle of chaos and squabbling children. Then I just reach for the chocolate. :tongue_smilie:

[Dirtroad]

I do not rotate b/c it gets confusing & makes more work for me.

 

Each has regular chores like taking out trash. The chores like bathroom duty & vacuuming are done "on demand" and we all are working as a team.

 

Now, here is where I get tough... if they complain... they get one more job added on. Works pretty good!

 

Also, I occassionally remind them that we are a family, no maid works here, and we have a duty to help each other. If they would like for me to stop cooking and taking them to places.... that would be great for me b/c I would have so much more time to do the fun things. (manipulation and guilt... but honest discussion).

 

We work pretty good!

[Susan in TN]

I can soooooooo relate to what you are saying. A couple things to keep in mind...you still have young kids. It's been my experience than until they are at least 10yo, no chore is done *really* well. You've got kids who are still picking stuff up and hauling it around and dropping it. Plus, you're tired. So accept at least a bit that you are just in this stage of life and it WILL improve in time.

 

Some things I've done that help - we have "after breakfast" chores, "after lunch" chores, and "after dinner" chores.

 

"after breakfast" chores include things like clearing breakfast, sweeping the floor, emptying the dishwasher, taking out the trash, bringing down laundry. Ideally, they are supposed to tidy their rooms before they even come out for breakfast. Ha Ha.

 

"after lunch" chores include clearing lunch, washing up bathrooms, washing kitchen chairs, dusting, laundry...

 

"after dinner" chores are usually a "free-for-all" and include cleaning up dinner, making sure dirty dishes are in the dishwasher, and generally tidying of living room, toys, etc. I will usually list off the things that need to be done, and the duties are doled out first come - first serve.

 

I'm in the process of revamping our chore schedule since we're in a new house that has different cleaning needs. My kids' ages are (almost) 14, (almost) 11, 6, 4, 2, and 5mo. My 14 and 11yo's are the main ones with chores, and my 6yo can do some simple things like wash chairs, pick up toys, and shake out rugs.

Also, starting with their 5th birthday, they get a new chore each year - their first assigned chore is usually putting away their laundry. Sometimes it's a daily chore and sometimes a weekly chore. We also have a short list of chores they can get paid for - sometimes it's seasonal like raking leaves, sometimes I'll just make an announcement ("I'll pay anyone $2 for sweeping the front porch, deck, and patio in the next hour").

 

BTW, I love your board name "katiebug" - we actually call my littlest one Lydibug (for Lydia). :)

Edited June 24, 2009 by Susan in TN
a couple additions

[OneRoomSchoolHouse]

In addition, I have a list of chores available for money. We don't do allowance, so my kids have to earn it by working--doing the extras. This list changes, but might include cleaning inside the van, organizing coat closet, cleaning the playroom all alone, weeding the garden, etc. Typically we have things for $1 or $2.

 

 

Oh, I love this idea. We tried to do the allowance thing, but whenever I added something to the chore list I would get the "do I get paid for this" thing which got really old. I will definatey have to try this one. Thanks!