Does anyone here have a dc with Oppositional Defiant Disorder?

[mazakaal]

I've had ongoing problems with my oldest and really can't figure out how to reach him. I was researching ADD on-line and found a link to info about ODD. When I read the symptoms, I thought, "That describes my son to a T." It was sort of an 'aha!' moment.

 

I've never come across the term before. Is this something that can be treated by a dr? Are there any good books to give me an idea of how to deal with this?

[happygrrl]

Many moms here have recommended "Transforming the Difficult Child" by Howard Glasser and Jennifer Easley (here is a link).

 

Regardless of your official dx, the nurtured heart approach works wonderfully with kids who struggle in this way, and is relatively painless to implement. Actually, it is a relief to implement! My family is running much more smoothly, and we are seeing some great improvements. HTH!

[mazakaal]

This looks very good. Should I get the workbook as well, or is the textbook enough?

 

Thanks for the recommendation.

[mazakaal]

Anyone else?

[happygrrl]

This looks very good. Should I get the workbook as well, or is the textbook enough?

 

Thanks for the recommendation.

 

I have both, and I rarely look at the workbook. It seems (to me) that the workbook is merely the book re-formatted... for example the workbook would use bullets, boxes, and multi-color ink, while the book is in standard print form. My husband could not read the book, as it is full of example after example and lots of repetition. He got lost! For him the workbook matched his reading style perfectly. If you read the reviews on Amazon you will see several that remark on the "beat a dead horse" style of the book, and I have to agree. There are lots of examples and re-wordings of the obvious. I found it very easy to read in spite of that. In fact, sometimes it was in the middle of the nth example that I would say "Oh! So that's what he means!". I suspect that the nurtured heart approach is so different from current parenting styles that the many examples are necessary to allow the entire message to sink in.

 

One more thing I think important to mention: you can do this style without your signifigant other's participation and it will still make a difference. My dh is not a reader, and really a blessedly simple sort of guy. He makes attempts to read the book, but can never get through it, and off he goes doing his own thing. I decided to just do the system without him (I mean to say with his consent and support, but without his detailed participation). We can both see a difference in our son, even though I am the only one really doing the system. Dh does well when he remembers, but his parenting style (ingrained from *his* childhood) is pretty authoritarian. I would guess that since I am the one with the most interaction with ds (school and all day while dad is working) that I have a huge impact. This over rides any negative style that my dh may occasionally slip into.

 

I hope that makes sense! I am not on the boards too much as the weather is so lovely and I would rather be outside! Do pm me if you need more info. Best wishes!

Edited May 16, 2009 by happygrrl

[mazakaal]

This is very helpful. Thank you so much. My dh sounds a lot like yours - not one to read parenting books. I'm glad to know that I can make a difference implementing the system on my own. And I'm glad I didn't bother to buy an unnecessary workbook. Thanks.

[Ottakee]

We have/had some ODD here. What I have seen/experienced is that the ODD is really a symptom of one or more other underlying issues---ADD/ADHD, mood disorders, Aspergers/autism, LDs, etc.

 

The book sounds good. I would also suggest that you seek out a full evaluation to find out the cause behind the ODD. Often treating the underlying issue(s) can greatly reduce the ODD.

 

Another book that might be helpful while you are this process is The Explosive Child. I don't agree with everything as long term parenting strategies, but the ideas can be very helpful when you are in more of a crisis situation.