fralala
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Posts posted by fralala
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When you can write a book about a subject and explain it to other people, then you're a subject matter expert. Isn't this the point of narration?
I think fitness is a good example of something a person can become fairly knowledgeable about just by reading (nutrition is another one of these things) because as we read we apply it to our lives and relate it to our own experiences. We make those connections. We talk about what we're learning to other people. We also already bring enough background knowledge to it to be able to grasp enough vocabulary not to me totally stumped-- I know what muscles are, and legs are, so it's easy for me to remember the quadriceps and the hamstrings, the gluteus maximus and minimus, etc.
Reading is valuable, but watching lectures-- in person or on the screen-- is another mode of learning that is ubiquitous, easy, and can often augment books. But ultimately, nothing replaces a conversation with another person, and that's one thing I hope I can emphasize to my kids-- I always thought if you were smart, you could figure out everything by turning to books, but being able to discuss things and ask questions is so essential to understanding-- you have to be able to comprehend a lot to ask questions.
(In high school, I used to read books aloud in French because I liked speaking French and practicing my accent. I didn't understand 50% of what I'm reading and am no more an expert in French literature than if I had spent the time sleeping with a cassette player under my pillow.)
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I still don't quite understand the science behind the fact that, for instance, my cousin's house can feel freezing to me with the thermostat set to 72, and we're sweating in my house at that temperature. (Smaller house? Lower ceilings? But isn't 72 degrees 72 degrees?)
I like to start out winter at 69 degrees and then gradually turn the thermostat down as our bodies adjust over the course of the winter. We're at 66 now. I really think it helps me and the kids to be more comfortable outside when the indoor temperatures aren't too high. If anybody gets too cold, though, I see that as a wonderful excuse for a baking project since our house is small and the oven really warms it up. And hot cocoa. And adding a little body fat in the winter months through baking projects and hot cocoa.
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Blending takes a lot of practice. A lot. One benefit of public school would be that the teacher could reassure you that what she is doing is totally normal, but absent that, you've got us, and I laughed when I read your example because...yep. The wild guess after a perfectly sounded out word is a classic at my house. And my kids aren't dyslexic.
A lot of blending and segmenting games when you're not reading can help. "I'm thinking of an animal that sounds like d-o-g [segmented]." And so forth. Just for hammering that connection between words and their individual sounds. I know that in our schools, too, most of the kindergarten blending and segmenting is done as a class and a LOT of class time is spent on it. Hours. So my expectation at this point is that I am blending and segmenting along with my kids-- they really need to hear someone else doing it, and have someone else do it with them, many times, many days and months in a row, before they are ready to do it on their own. I am not willing to spend hours of my kids' time in kindergarten trying to come up with creative ways to make them learn to read six months earlier than they might otherwise, and it's certainly not what my own K teacher was doing (we learned to read starting in Grade 1), and it's one of the reasons one of my good friends quit teaching. Just because it's possible to teach something to a bunch of little kids early doesn't mean it's beneficial or superior. I bet you're doing just fine.
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We (just) look at maps and talk about them and it seems that my kids both retain the information well and enjoy it. They like being in charge of finding locations on the globe/wall maps.
Drawing and coloring maps appeals to me, but it's one of those things that doesn't appeal to my children and since they seem to get plenty out of looking and talking (and frankly, being kind of competitive about who can locate a place first), I've let them demonstrate their understanding and recall of geography to me without having to make their own maps. We do find our dry-erase wall maps really fun and useful, though.
I think the only way you can really find out if it's okay to stop doing something is to take a prolonged break, and then you either find out that you should add it back or that it was enough or that you can forgo it altogether...one person's helpful learning experience may be another kid's busywork, you know? Anyway, help yourself to that item in my jar of excuses for not doing something Everybody Else Seems to Do!
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...she'll go for a week or more at a time not talking to me (when we see each other regularly)....
OK, this in and of itself would make me think she suffers from some kind of mental illness, and would make me concerned about her kids. This is not the behavior of a stable adult, and if she can't handle relationships with adults, handling the behavior of immature little people who act like children are supposed to act must be a huge challenge.
I am not going to speak to the incident in question (although my general observation is that adults who rescue kids from the natural consequences of their actions and then punish them with rage generally aren't very competent disciplinarians-- a four year old who spills isn't uncommon, and the adults around him do him a favor by paying it little mind other than to equip him with paper towels). However, I will say that my own sister (who suffers from depression) had several incidents caring for her children where I had to look her in the eyes and say (as firmly as I could without breaking down into tears) that her behavior was emotionally abusive, even though I knew it would alienate her. I couldn't not speak up. But I was sure to frame it not as "You are abusive," but in terms of the precise behaviors that troubled me.
(My sister is now on medication for her depression, and the difference is night and day. She is not an abuser. Her illness was causing her to behave in a way that troubles her deeply now. So another way to frame it, I suppose, is the fact that outside of those Bad Moments, I asked caring questions-- "I'm worried about you. You don't seem to be enjoying _____. Have you sought help for that? I care about you. I hope you'll see someone who can help you more than I can.")
If it weren't my sister...I don't know. I might not want to get any more involved with the person. I might just report it. I'd trust your gut. People generally are on their best behavior with their kids in public, and that's something that would worry me. (Sometimes we all lose it a little, but you're not judging from this one time-- you're familiar with this person's behavior.)
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Are they "shouldering complete responsibility for their children's education" or are they free-spirits who feel comfortable walking their own path outside of traditional school? I see a lot more free-spirit types locally - especially among those homeschooling younger kids.
If they don't feel like going on a field trip today . . . well, isn't that the reason they homeschool? So they can have the freedom to do whatever feels best in the moment?
This is just making me laugh today, especially the mildly snarky last line, perhaps because it reminds me of a few times my (otherwise very thoughtful) unschooling friends have told me they won't be able to make something because, at the last moment, it turns out their kids aren't in the mood, or had stayed up too late the night before and wanted to sleep in. I love free spirits, and I love doing whatever feels best in the moment, but it's really not that hard to just RSVP 'no' and go on your own field trips when you're in the mood if you know you're kind of flaky, or only attend loosey-goosey events. (And even those can be disappointing; Park Day is discouraging here when the general idea is 'come if you feel like it', because as it turns out, few people want to come if there's no assurance that it's going to be a good-sized group with kids who are actually older than 5 or 6.)
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I would do #1. start with BA 3A. Somewhere in level 3 talks about multiplication.
If your child is liking BA more, then switch. :)
My son is a mathy person too. He loves BA.
Hope this helps.
This. My mathy 8 year old loves BA3.
One thing I have to resist, and I don't know if this is true with you, is thinking that a kid who can do math with some facility is never doing enough because they "get" concepts rather quickly and intuitively and have a knack for problem solving.
FWIW, the first chapter of BA 3A was in some places very challenging for my DD when we first started, so we sort of used that chapter in a spiral-sort of way as she completed the rest of the book, which she found less daunting.
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I said 'other' because, well, many would probably judge what we do as 'not enough', so who am I to say?
AND you manage to get in everything in your siggie, too? Did I miss the memo about a day having 48 hours in Australia? I think you need to come whip my kids into shape. I can barely get them to practice one instrument.
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Don't feel overwhelmed!
Audiobooks are a hard sell even for my younger ones who love storytime. They require a lot of concentration.
One of the great things about homeschooling is that our little ones have the freedom to develop their relationships with us and each other, so all those interactions that take place when you're not reading aloud are priceless. Reading aloud is also wonderful, but audiobooks aren't superior to conversation and laughter. You can share stories with your kids, who at this age often love your voice and your stories best of all (especially if you can dredge up some really silly things you did as a kid). And if you read only 1 picture book a day, but read it with excitement and laughter and energy, that is better than trying to do more with frustration and feelings of inadequacy.
Some things you can do in this situation:
model reading-- let them see you reading your books for pleasure daily;
have lots of books available and be available to read them (to the extent possible) when your kids ask;
don't treat these books as a School Subject;
do privilege stories in your house.
When your older kid is telling you all something about what just happened or what he just saw, he is telling a story! Listen, echo, draw him out. Loving telling and listening to a good story as it pertains to our normal human, familial interaction is something I feel may be overlooked a little in a lot of the expectations we have surrounding reading, but really, a reader or someone who loves books is just someone who loves a good story. That can be developed even with little wiggle worms, and if you're cutting off kids' imaginary play (story making!) or conversations (story making!) to Read a Book, it's not necessarily a superior activity, right? The challenge is to slowly help them realize that books contain great stories, and we do this by trying to choose books that will really draw our kids in. What do your boys love? What do they talk about?
Finally, one more thing-- if you can get little kids interested in a book, never steamroll them because you've got to read the words on a page. I see this as something parents (including myself here) do that makes kids bolt and go back to their own activities. If they want to talk about the pictures instead, that's fine! Follow their lead. If they want to stay on the same page for 10 minutes asking various questions about construction vehicles that you don't feel qualified to answer, make a note to get more books about construction vehicles. At this stage, developing a love for books means following their lead.
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Algorithms can be very useful, but I can understand why some programs approach them as potentially problematic. It is problematic for me that for much of my adult life, I would have had to use the algorithm for 126/3 vs. looking at it and instantly understanding, hey, 30 x 4 is 120, so the answer is going to be 42. I think all the skip counting is supposed to prod such discoveries, but this discovery method of teaching is very dependent on the facilitator. A great teacher can do wonderful things with a bad curriculum, and unfortunately it also works the other way around. If a curriculum is really recommending that kids count past 40 or 50 by threes without noticing a pattern and figuring out strategies to make it go faster (I have never seen the circles, but is this the goal?), I can't see what that's teaching except that math is illogical and frustrating.
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Another way of asking this question might be: Hey, did any of your children begin saying their prayers to Osiris, and sacrificing goats to Zeus? ;)
No, I think explicitly teaching your children what other people believe at this age actually is more likely to be met with their desire to affirm their parents' beliefs or express their perceived superior knowledge about the universe, and one of my bigger concerns was that at this age my kids were eager to label certain beliefs as stupid or dumb through their modern lens. My kids had to be taught explicitly to be respectful of the beliefs of others, but not that there aren't really gods living on Mt. Olympus and randomly interfering, often cruelly, in the lives of mortals.
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Our public library has copies of all the public school textbooks, too.
One recommendation I have when thinking about scope & sequence lists (and recoiling in intimidation) is that they are not necessarily accurate representations of what public school kids are learning, and also that just because something is put in fancy language doesn't necessarily mean you haven't covered it (or your kids haven't figured it out because you interact with them and explain to them things about the world-- this is how I view a lot of the early elementary stuff especially).
Personally, when I want to look at a good scope & sequence, I look to Singapore Math -- not what the public schools are (necessarily) using, but a very good and sensible sequence with some good evidence supporting it.
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Walk in the forest (and let the kids romp, stack rocks, pile sticks, shove leaves down each others' shirts, collect pinecones and feathers and other treasures) or do a prepackaged, Mom-directed craft that will take 30+ minutes to plan, gather materials for, and clean up, but only 10 minutes to do? Take the nature walk.
The access you provide them to the craft supplies is great, and I do find that my kids are occasionally inspired to create based upon what we're reading, but their crafts will usually be highly original and something that would not really fit in on a school wall on parents' night. Mostly because they often contain soil samples and occasionally come with instructions to water. It's always good to remember that you can't really judge a child's learning or experience by how well you can package it to impress outsiders-- what you are seeing of or hearing about other people's homeschools is often, until they are close friends, simply the package. And what you do with your own kids really doesn't tell us anything about the spirit in which you do it, or how they feel about it, or the general warmth within your home.
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It's tough, isn't it?
There's assistance and collaboration that actually helps a person learn and grow through struggle-- the struggle of being challenged the first time through and told, "You can do better, and I'm willing to help."
That kind of help is productive and what all kids really deserve, and very different from a parent thinking, "Oh, man, this makes me look bad and my kid is going to fail, so let me just tidy it up for her."
But one thing that I've noticed from the negative comments parents make to me is that there is a strong assumption (in my competitive part of the country) that other parents are doing the second thing, and that there is such a strong reaction against that that parents avoid doing the first. But there's a reason there are writing centers on college campuses. It's a matter of courtesy to your readers to hammer out a clean final draft. And it's work. Even with a parent or tutor at your elbow. (Unless it's a "tutor" who is willing to do the whole you-pay-I-revise thing.) Being unable to take criticism is a huge impediment for writers, and so I'd say you are helping your kids a lot by helping them hammer out those drafts-- not writing for them, but asking questions, clarifying, encouraging them to proofread sections again, and so forth. (I don't correct my kids' mistakes, but I do let them know that they're there and they always choose to figure out the correct spelling or the rule because they don't want to submit something with mistakes, even though it's more work to do the rewrites.)
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I am a big fan of your approach, since I do think the formal push can make math a much unhappier experience than it needs to be!
I do like incorporating Gattegno's activities and suggestions in our c-rod play:
https://issuu.com/eswi/docs/gattegno-math-textbook-1
(As long as my daughter is having fun doing it.)
Hopefully she'll also come give you some suggestions, but I've found the Let's Play Math site of our fellow WTMer to have so many games, book recommendations, and other resources/links.
I find some of the stuff school math teachers post on the web very, very helpful-- we've incorporated some number sense routines and choral counting in a way my kids (who hate schooly stuff) really enjoy. Adding some form of number talks, estimation games, those kinds of things might be good for augmenting what he's already doing and discovering on his own!
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Use of multivitamins is associated with an increased death rate. It is also important to note that multivitamins are not required to actually contain what they claim they contain - or to NOT contain other things. There are no safety, quality, or purity standards.
To be fair, this was a study on men and postmenopausal women.
Very good results have come, OTOH, from recommending that all women of childbearing age take a supplement containing folic acid.
I am not really a vitamin/mineral booster, but I do like Garden of Life Vitamin Code for Women and Barlean's Fish Oil, and also a probiotic like Udo's Choice, so...maybe I kind of am. But regrettably I am also supplementing a less healthy diet.
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My kids love SOTW. They also have loved many of our history read-alouds.
I am not sure if people would consider it "doing" history, since I don't require them to memorize anything, make timelines, color maps, or prove their comprehension to me. But, as with science, I believe in exposing them to it through interesting books. And approached as content knowledge that is continually reinforced by references they get from literature and life, it's definitely not a waste of time. But yes, I'd consider a curriculum (beyond the SOTW books) a waste of money and energy, and I don't do any intentional memorization of names and dates at this age...I just like to give them enough so that they have a few more characters and activities to try on in their pretend games, or to dress up as for Halloween!
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Well, if I understand your aim correctly, this is one of the reasons I think it's good to be a parent (afterschooler, homeschooler, whatever) and not a school teacher.
I've seen plenty of lessons that attempt to push kids to provide evidence for connections that were made by other people.
The people who write the lessons clearly love history and want to share that love with others, but unfortunately they just took the primary thing I find joyful and interesting out of history out of it-- making some kind of connection on your own and then sharing it with others who might be interested.
If I'm reading an interesting book about a part of history I'm passionate about, I share it at the dinner table or in the car. I ask my kids questions and opinions because I am really interested in their perspectives, not because I'm eager to smash all their misconceptions and worry about their listening/reading comprehension. (Oh, I love arguing history with people and am as Always Right as the next person, but you know what? If my 7 year old is excited about something, I'm going to listen with maybe only a few mild amendments if absolutely necessary.)
Does this sound like what you're trying to do? Encourage your kids to think like historians, who-- armed with knowledge-- begin to make connections, formulate ideas, and talk about? To sample the limits of perspective-taking? (I mean, this re: the Mars example. If I were a kid and came up with this, it would be awesome and I'd go to town with it. If a textbook makes this connection-- which these days isn't uncommon, I think-- my first and smart-- or smart aleck-- urge is to say, "Hey, that's actually a kind of lame comparison. There are a lot of differences between the two things, and can't I try to understand the perspectives of people in the past without having to come up with some analogy from my own experience?")
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I worded it this way rather than say I don't have the money. If I stopped taking my one class per semester, I could spend it on tutoring but it's the only thing I have for myself. So it's probably selfish, but I think it's ok to be selfish sometimes.
Last standardized test he took he scored in the 99th percentile. So I'm not dealing with an issue of him not getting math. He just isn't cooperating for some reason.
I don't think this is selfish, at least not in the bad sense.
Do you think there is a connection between the 2 things you mentioned in bold?
What's the worst that could happen if you did just stop doing all formal math for a month or two? (Including playing games. There are enough 1 player math games out there to have on your shelves without having to drag yourself through the mud.)
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Hey, it's trick or treat for a reason. ;)
Candy is cheap and little kids in costumes are sweet, and teenagers without costumes who just want candy are-- well, they're kind of a charming throwback, aren't they? Not to mention they help me empty my chocolate bag at the end of the night so that my spouse and I don't end up binging on them.
Of course, my kids think the fun part of trick or treating is the kind of transgressive, undaily aspect of getting to knock on strangers' doors, to get those sneak peeks into other lives, under the cloak of night, and the convivial atmosphere back at home as they dump and compare their booty.
(And I'm the one bemoaning the fact that others take their littles to "trunk or treats" or mall events during the daytime-- I'll have to add spoilsport HOAs to that list-- and make a stay-up-late-and-run-wild-on-sugar kids holiday into something controlled and regulated by adults, once again. I wish more kids would come knocking and walking around. Bring the neighborhood to life!)
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My sister had the experience of switching schools in 7th grade-- to a K-8 school where all the other kids had basically been together since K.
She still won't even really talk about it. She also took up self-harming behaviors, some of which she is still working on breaking years later.
I say bring your daughter home, and just try to enjoy the person your daughter is for a little while with the knowledge (and I am getting a little sappy and tearful here) that every day in a toxic environment without just one friend or ally robs her of a bit of that self.
Sometimes small, close-knit schools that appear to be the best choice from the outside are actually the most oppressive to the new kid or the outsider. And you know what, maybe if you pull her she will see one or two of the girls in an outside activity, and the dynamic will change, but I think it's a dynamic that's very difficult to alter with any level of parental meddling. And that kind of meddling can sometimes lead a bullied kid to feel like the parent isn't really on their team and doesn't understand the magnitude of the problem.
Good luck.
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My first advice, if you're planning to homeschool, is just to stop thinking about stuff as "school stuff" and definitely stop talking about it as such.
It sounds like you do a lot of great stuff with your son! There is absolutely no reason a wiggly kid needs to sit still to benefit from a read-aloud-- let him bounce, roll, flip, zoom around the room, to his heart's content. Or play with legos, puzzles, or tiles while you read. Or pick books that encourage movement. There is a great list here, along with suggested activities that kids might like. (If your son doesn't, no problem, he's not in a classroom, so you can find your own.)
Nursery rhymes, too, are fantastic if you want to incorporate movement and literacy (and, often, numeracy).
With fine motor skill development, if he's not interested, he's not interested, but...what happens if you get a couple of pairs of scissors, glue sticks, and a stack of magazines, say nothing to him, and just sit at the table and enjoy yourself cutting and making a collage? Or if you get a bunch of tissue paper and just sit there tearing it up and pasting it onto paper? Or put on some music and color or draw by yourself? What if you spend 30 minutes a day at the table doing one of those things and not even trying to convince him to join you, but just enjoying yourself?
To me, this is something kids sometimes get in preschool-- they try out activities they might not otherwise because the other kids make them look fun and enjoyable and interesting. Having an only child is hard. If he doesn't have an opportunity to watch older kids do a lot of these things, you're kind of responsible for making the activities seem desirable enough to try.
Math is everywhere for a wiggly kid. Go on shape hunts. Count everything. Estimate together how many Cheerios in his bowl, m&ms in the package, height of a tree (how many mommies tall?), etc. See what he's paying attention to and help him verbalize it-- patterns, addition and subtraction, etc. Make number lines and have him figure out how many different ways he can hop to 5 or 6. Sort stuff.
I think a prepackaged curriculum would be a bust for this kid. Your intuition and sense of creativity will help you figure out what he needs! But one word on that: your pediatrician should be your close ally. Keep an eye on the things that concern her. They don't have to concern you, but if he is doing things noticeably differently or on a different timeline than other kids his age, that's valuable to know and reflect on. I am a little inclined to defensiveness on this point, but it's part of the pediatricians job to keep track of kids' development. She can't judge a kid based upon his behavior during one office visit, but she can share her opinions about what you should expect so you can think about whether it's something to consider. (I remember eye contact being something my ped. also looks for at the 4 year visit, and something my kids just couldn't do with her. But after she talked to me about it, I made it a point to be sure I was making frequent eye contact with my children. I should have been doing it anyway, but that was helpful to me to have reinforced at the visit.)
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My k-teacher sister is of the opinion that if you're going to begin handwriting at age 4 or 5, almost all kids benefit from the HWOT approach. Now, since you've already done HWOT once, maybe you would do just fine with Z-B (or anything!) since you've got those tricks up your sleeves.
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Well, my first question to myself when I think about food battles is, "Am I doing this for the health of my kids or because, among the mothers I know, there is a certain pride in having kids who polish off all their veggies uncomplainingly and say their favorite food is sushi, and they really hate candy? And I will be judged at a meal in which my kids eat only their bread and butter (except the crusts)."
The answer, often, is that I am doing it for the wrong reasons (French kids eat everything! I want my kids to be chouette like that).
So I just try to provide variety and cook foods that I find delicious and buy healthy foods.
The funny thing about pickiness is that...well, we can control it to a certain extent, and we can't. Kids generally don't like foods that they're seldom exposed to, but that doesn't mean they necessarily like foods they see regularly. (This is the PB&J phenomenon, considered such because in our extended family, it seems the kids who have 2 South Asian parents think PB&J is gross and won't touch it, whereas the kids who have an American mother generally consider it an eat-at-every-meal kind of food. Evidently, the pb&j combination is just pretty repugnant unless presented early on, in which case-- as long as you're not allergic-- it's amazing. In any case, the point is: my job is exposing my kids to a variety of foods, and considering seeing and smelling to count as exposure. It's limiting the amount of crap I choose to feed them-- out of laziness and lethargy-- and allowing them, when all is said and done, to have preferences and opinions.)
Vegetables are healthy, but a positive relationship with food and eating is harder to recover as an adult than an appreciation of kohlrabi. Most of us, completely free of charge, have learned to appreciate foods we reviled as children. And yet weight loss programs, and eating disorder clinics, are expensive and often unsuccessful at modifying the unhelpful feelings and attitudes we've developed surrounding food.
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Typical workload for 3rd or 4th grader? (8 - 10 year olds)
in General Education Discussion Board
Posted
My 3rd grader is like this. Her workload looks very, very light and has come about as a result of her temperament (and mine, too!). Now, my child who lies on the couch complaining "What shall I do, oh what shall I do?" and randomly walloping people who approach gets something more structured!
-She spent 5 minutes yesterday practicing cursive.
-It's hard to know how much time she spent on math-- she primarily does BA, and yesterday she was working on a challenging problem, so she kept taking breaks, which I encourage (since I find intense periods of focus followed by letting my brain go into diffuse mode so helpful myself). We also talk a lot about math over the course of the day because she enjoys that kind of thing-- I think yesterday it was a whole bunch of mental calculations related to the coming of the holiday season.
-She practiced piano for an agonizing 20 minutes. Some days it's fun, but yesterday was one of those "You can make me sit down at the piano, but you can't make me put any effort into this practice session, and if you say anything about it, I'm going to get offended and say I was doing my best but you think I sound terrible, so I must be REALLY BAD!" kind of days.
So less than an hour of what feels like a "workload."
I do spend about an hour reading aloud and even more time yakking with her about what we're reading about though-- so we had history, science, and biography of a famous artist read-alouds yesterday. This doesn't feel like work to her, though.
And in her abundant free time, she spent an hour reading aloud because she likes creating audio books for us. She wrote and illustrated several stories. She read some of the good books I lay around to entice her-- nonfiction and fiction. She watched some Spanish videos. And she played outside for several hours, had a swim lesson, and a bike ride, and listened to an audiobook.