Pegs
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Posts posted by Pegs
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13 hours ago, PrincessMommy said:
I'm here! Came to check to see if Groups (not Clubs) was working.
Semester ends in a few weeks. I'm taking a Philosphy 101 class online due to renovations in full swing here at our new house. It''s been a breeze mainly due to the prof. phoning it in (as the saying goes). This class has basically been self-taught. Read the chapter, answer a question, talk amongst yourselves.
. I have 3 weeks to read one chapter (45 pages), answer one discussion question myself and respond to someone else's discussion, then take a 10 question quiz. Yay! After that, I have 2 weeks to prepare for the final (only on 3 chapters) and write a 4 page paper. Gotta love freshman level courses. I hear this prof is a great teacher so I do kind of miss not actually having him, but I needed to be home and available for the contractor. I'm just thankful this course wasn't a dud like some of the others.
That sounds fun. I took a 100-level philosophy class a couple of years ago, having just finished calculus and discrete math, and it was a nice change to just cruise on through.
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What a relief that must be for you!
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Congratulations.
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22 minutes ago, PeterPan said:
Pegs, are you working with a behaviorist or other professional who can help you sort this out?
For us, sticking with something stressful on the theory that it will somehow miraculously become less stressful doesn't seem to work. Maybe you need someone who can work with him in person to give you some feedback? Then it can fit your whole reality, not just the pieces we're hearing.
No. I'm hoping the psychologist will be able to help.
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16 hours ago, geodob said:
Pegs, I would return to the idea of arranging tests of his Cortisol levels with his doctor. Which simply involves taking mouth swabs throughout the day and evening. This will identify if he has a high baseline, and whether spikes are occurring when these episodes happen?
If Cortisol isn't the problem, then you can rule it out. But if it is, then you need a very different approach, rather than just trying to avoid triggering it. Where the underlying physiological cause needs to be identified, and managed. So that the both the baseline and spikes of Cortisol need to be reduced. As it has other effects, where its action on growth hormones can reduce growth. Also its effect on Glucose, can result in Diabetes.
Though fortunately it is relatively easy to do these saliva tests.
Okay. I'll ask the Dr about this.
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We could totally drop it. Yes, that is always an option. But he has phone calls and video calls with friends and family daily, and we do online violin lessons with another WTMer. I don't think the format is way out there unfamiliar to him.
He's also been under chairs at vision therapy and the Dr, and when things go wrong in games with friends, and once or twice at mealtimes if he feels too anxious to eat. So we could drop the class, but stressors abound anyway. And at least with the repeated exposure and an understanding teacher, I feel like this could be an opportunity for him to learn other ways of expressing his discomfort, if I can just figure out how to help him with it.
Does that make sense? I'm worried I'm just talking in circles now. You've both given me a lot of advice and I need to read through it all a few times and figure out what it all means for us, going forward.
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14 hours ago, Lecka said:
...Or a deal like he can participate in a more minimal way. Like maybe he has to sit in the chair and watch, but his webcam can be set to where he watches but they don’t see him.
Allowing kids to totally avoid things can lead to an avoidance cycle where they worry more. But stressing them too much is totally counterproductive. Totally. So sometimes you can find some deal where they do a tiny bit, such that they aren’t avoiding 100%, and then slowly over time build on that.
Thank you. Yes. These have been my thoughts too. Last week he did the class via me while he peeked through a hole in the cardboard box he was hiding under. The teacher was amazingly cool about it. I was so grateful.
I think next time we'll attend for the first five or ten minutes, then do the rest as homework.
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14 hours ago, Lecka said:
I think it is a hard balance, because the worst thing is to provoke a full stress reaction. But then avoiding things is also not good. It is hard to find that little thing that can be successful.
Yeah, this is where I'm struggling. I had him actually attend the class yesterday to tell the teacher he wasn't feeling up to it. The hiding came after that - it's not something he's doing in order to get out of class. He's the only kid enrolled and the teacher has been really understanding, plus she's seen him on good days where he's been really engaged and had a great time. I hear what you're saying about either committing or dropping it. I need to give that some more thought.
Thanks for the links. I'll go read them now.
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Okay. The second trip under the table was shorter than the first. Much faster recovery. I can hold onto this.
He doesn't get aggressive or abscond. He just kind of shuts down. The increase in frequency is really bothering me. But maybe I should just be glad that he recovers? I don't know. I think I'll try to get a time with his OT while we wait on the appointment with the psychologist.
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The first time he was overwhelmed by a rough game with a (much bigger) friend.
Then later I asked him to sit at the PC for an online class. He had been looking forward to it, but freaked out at the last minute. I supported him in telling the teacher he wasn't up for attending today, and then he basically ducked for cover.
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23 minutes ago, Ravin said:
Does he have a weighted blanket?
No. It's on my wishlist if we get funding.
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It happened twice today. Under the table in tears. This time I could actually fit, so I brought him some water and sat with him until he was ready to come out. We distracted and redirected with a movie the first time. The second time he recovered much more quickly and went off to play with the friends we're visiting.
I'm not imagining this. It is definitely increasing in frequency. I hate the thought of those stress hormones flooding his little body. He's such a sweet, gentle kid.
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Thanks for the info on the genetics, PeterPan.
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5 hours ago, geodob said:
Pegs, what you're describing could be his 'fight or flight reflex' ? Which is an instant response, and you said that it happening 'at the drop of a hat'. The flight response, could be causing him to 'hide under things'?
The fight or flight reflex, causes an instant surge of Cortisol and then Adrenaline. Which triggers a physical response. You also noted the effect of Valium, where Valium has inhibitory effect on Cortisal. Which could be what you are observing?
It would be well worth identifying if this is his issue? As left unaddressed, it can lead to Adrenal Fatigue with a range of effects. Though tests of Cortisol levels can be done by taking 'mouth swabs' at different times of the day. Of particular interest, would be spikes when he hides?
I think this is exactly what is happening. Sometimes after or during a hiding episode he describes a sensation of almost greying out. I guess this is his version of a panic attack? :(
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We're on a waiting list to see a psychologist, with an appt coming up in June. I'll ask her about exposure therapy, see if she can guide us with that.
I'm not opposed to trying medication. DS has been on valium a few times before attempting vaccinations. That didn't cut it and we had to have his shots done in hospital with the help of some nitrous oxide. I expected the valium to make him a bit sleepy and floppy. Instead he just radiated joy until it wore off. I was like, Wow! This is my kid sans anxiety! He was really happy and content with the valium in his system. Come crunch time he was back under chairs at the Dr's though. I know that benzos are not a long term solution, but I guess what I'm saying is that the little glimpse into his demeanour beneath the anxiety has kind of opened my mind to the possibility of medication.
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I can ABC past hiding incidents pretty easily. The trouble is, the antecedents are generally not something we can avoid - visits to the Dr especially. I suppose we could stop trying online classes? But sometimes they go really well, if he hasn't had to cope with something stressful beforehand. And he does enjoy them when he can participate. I guess I just need to make the day as vanilla as possible if we have a potential trigger coming up.
I don't think he's co-regulating with me. To be honest he's just not that emotionally aware. If I say that I have a headache and need to rest, he'll bring me a glass of water and then go and play quietly on his own. Sometimes he needs a bit of help getting started on an activity. If I tell him that I desperately need to get out of the house "for the health of my mind," he'll begrudgingly agree to a nature walk or a visit to the beach or playground. So he's kind and caring if told explicitly what's going on for me, but he also can be a little baffled by my emotions if I don't give them words. "Why is there water coming out of your eyes?" "I'm crying because I'm sad. Could I have some privacy please? I'll feel better soon."
I like the idea of joining him in a hidey hole, but we don't really have the space for it. Maybe I could get a little pop-up tent and use it with the Zones stuff we've been (sporadically) working on? Feel like hiding? Time to chill out in your tent! Currently he's using either a cardboard box or his desk, and I don't fit in either.
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Have you considered a more conversational approach? We are loving "I Speak Latin" by Andrew Campbell.
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I don't know what to do. He's shutting down and hiding at the drop of a hat these days. It's getting harder and harder to get us both out and about. Our world is getting smaller and it's suffocating me.
Just venting, I suppose. :(
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I seem to be here.
I'm visiting a friend with kids and WiFi this week - I'm hoping that's enough to keep DS occupied while I catch up on lectures. I'm really struggling with solo parenting and carving out the time for study.
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I supported my mother through a mental health admission and meth withdrawals which involved a lot of headbanging and other self-injury. It was gut-churningly awful to see her covered in self-inflicted injuries, her eyes almost swollen shut. I can't even begin to imagine seeing my own child in such a state. I am so, so sorry.
Your beautiful boy will recover his looks. Wishing you strength and solace in the meantime.
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2 hours ago, Targhee said:
Essentially you do grammar book first, and then do daily practice sentences. Meanwhile after the grammar book is done you start the other elements in tandem.
This is not easily broken down into lessons for certain days. We read together, talked, tried examples for a rough time frame (20 minutes or so) and put in a book mark for where to pick up the next day. For us it was very much do-the-next-thing.
This is pretty much how we used it too.
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4 minutes ago, chocolate-chip chooky said:
Fraidycat, is there some other way to purchase your book? I don't have an e-reader or Kindle.
Is there a print version? Or can you buy a downloadable version to print yourself?
Chooky, you can get the kindle app for free and use a phone/ipad/tablet like an ereader.
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Is it back up and running for any of you? It's showing that I'm a member, but I can't access the topics.
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Please! No spoilers!
. I have 3 weeks to read one chapter (45 pages), answer one discussion question myself and respond to someone else's discussion, then take a 10 question quiz. Yay! After that, I have 2 weeks to prepare for the final (only on 3 chapters) and write a 4 page paper. Gotta love freshman level courses. I hear this prof is a great teacher so I do kind of miss not actually having him, but I needed to be home and available for the contractor. I'm just thankful this course wasn't a dud like some of the others.
Third time's the charm
in Accelerated Learner Board
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How cool is that?!