violamama
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Posts posted by violamama
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Eek, spoke a little soon. She had a "paradoxical reaction" to morphine and freaked out for 4 hours screaming, thrashing around and hallucinating, and then had trouble breathing for a bit. She seems good now and they decided not to take her to the ICU which is a relief because she finally fell asleep. Hopefully her recovery is straightforward from here on out.
I didn't have a minute to use any of the great things I brought until now! Glad to have a few comforts. I think I may go to bed at 9pm, a personal record for sure.
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We're in her room for the night and all seems to be going well. Thanks again for the advice and prayers.
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There is so much great advice here. I would never have thought of this stuff.
It is for spinal cord untethering, and her surgeon thinks it's a relatively minor case. They expect the surgery to take less than an hour, and I hope they stick with just one night in the hospital.
Thanks again.
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My daughter turned 2 last week. She has a spine surgery on Wednesday at 6am and is expected to stay overnight after that. My parents are taking our boys for 5 days, so that's covered and they will love that.
Advice wanted:
1. What should I bring for myself?
2. Any general advice to help a toddler deal with being in a hospital?
3. Tips for the at-home recovery period?
(I also would love your prayers for us if you're so inclined.)
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We just got back from 3 weeks away and we're jet lagged and overwhelmed so I'm only putting one focus on my list today:
Be patient with the kids. Keep my voice pleasant.
Hugs, Jean!
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I think part of the glory of owning something is choosing when to give rides. How about you let her decide what days are "ride days" for people outside her friends? While it may make some of the kids feel left out and she may overly enjoy the power, learning to negotiate both of those things is also healthy. If they all live there, they will eventually get a ride if they're nice to her.
I see in your siggy she's 6. With my 6 yo, we have enjoyed watching him become a very generous kid. We didn't really MAKE him. We did point out how nice it feels to give things, and what a privilege it is. We would not make him give everybody rides any time they ask. That would take the joy right out of being generous!
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I agree with the above. It sounds like you all have had a rough time. I don't know all the details, but could you now talk to them? Would it be worth it to clarify why what they did was wrong?
My mom always told me something similar, but it was clear it was things like not going to a party or movie as others have said. If I pushed the boundaries into disobeying authority (like teachers or administrators) then she would have absolutely made me make that right immediately. I can't specifically remember if she ever had to do that. I do remember lying as a kid, multiple times. It mortifies me to this day. I think I turned out pretty all right and don't do that anymore.
Try not to worry. Perhaps the use of you as an excuse as part of their lies would have happened whether you had given them the idea or not. It was certainly not what you meant, and they probably did know it. (I haven't followed your situation, though, so mostly just mean it sounds like standard parenting to me...)
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I had the best dog in the entire world while in grad school and until my first son was about 8 months old. He was a tricolor. He lived about 9 years and died of Mitral Valve Disease, which sucked. I have known cavs who had valve replacement surgeries, but that will never be our family's style. It's just something you'll want to consider about the breed. His parents and grandparents lived to be 17 (Methuselah-ancient for cavs!) but sadly that did not transfer to my boy.
IMHO, Cavaliers are nothing like other spaniels (cockers tend to be so cranky and can become a bit daft, or maybe I've had bad luck with the ones I've observed!).I had an electric razor, and kept my boy trim and clean with about 15 minutes a month. That served us well, as he liked to hike with me and I didn't want to mess with a hairy dog. Tight trimming also kept the inside of his ears nice and tidy so he avoided ear problems that can be common with hang-eared dogs. Plus, he looked like a clean little baby puppy his whole life and not one of my music students was afraid of him.
If you do get one, I would have three pieces of advice.
1. Use a really good breeder. Cavs are expensive because they should have extensive records of how the dog's ancestors did in terms of heart and spine issues. That's in addition to all the other reasons to use a reputable breeder. By the way, "AKC" means absolutely nothing. Each breed has their own societies for breeders which are usually much more stringent and membership does mean something. There should be a waitlist for puppies. I had to wait 6 months for mine, and it was a great breeder, but he still had heart issues. No guarantees; this is what happen when a whole breed develops/continues from just a few dogs.
2. Get one with black or brown under its eyes. Cavs, like most spaniels, tend to be a little bit weepy. If they have white under their eyes then it gets stained brown.
3. When they tell you to never trust your Cav off-leash, believe them. They are super smart but also capricious and curious and WILL chase a squirrel across a street after winning an agility contest and an obedience certificate (ask me how I know). He once wanted to make friends with a grizzly bear across an alpine meadow. No voice command would have made him reconsider. Seriously.
Also, dogs with heart issues snore like longshoremen. Guests who stayed over often expressed concern about my husband's health because they thought it was him! We used to express concern when the dog wasn't snoring over the sound of the TV or whatever. Did he die? How could he sleep so silently? He wasn't a noisy breather when awake (like a pug or similar) but he slept whenever he was stationary, especially near the end.
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My husband and I are aow and leave tomorrow for three weeks diving and relaxing in the keys. We live in Oregon and have drysuits and certification but haven't been out in them yet. We're active in our club and our kids have heard lectures on all sorts of cool sea-related science.
I'm not much for deep for deep's sake but I love reefs and wrecks.
Eta: we have as advanced open water certs and have done quite a bit of diving.
Have you checked out the scubaboards? Super active community.
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One last daaaaaay One day mooooooore! (I can't help it. Les Mis soundtrack always comes out before travel.)
Of course I have a thing or two left no matter how early I try to start preparing.
School
ChineseMathReadingWork
Do 1099s (may do on airplane...)
Get chamber music & concerto partsBefore Trip
on SaturdayTOMORROW!:Pack & bring celloSchool: prepare/bring the majors + music history workbooks, Bible curric?,Empty FridgePacking: Special sunscreen, goggles, sunshirts, hats, water shoes, scuba gear, sunglasses, piano books, ipadsChange our sheets Meh, WHEN WE GET BACK
Bleach toilets
Set up iPads DELEGATED TO DHGet box to send trunki DEFERRED TILL WE RETURN
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Our daughter sings herself to sleep at night saying "wo ai bi Fang Fang" (a toddler way of saying wo ai ni which is I love you in Mandarin). She is a spicy cuddly joy. Her sixth month homecoming and second birthday both happen next week.
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We survived the pediatrician, thanks to my mom and a trip to lunch at the arcade after. My 6 yo said the shots were not better than all the worrying he had built up but were actually worse. Poor kiddo, that is saying something.
School
We are ditching. I'll ask them to read later.
Work
Do 1099s
Call Aftercare directorGet chamber music & concerto parts
Arrange 3 new classes with emailBefore Trip on Saturday:
Pack & mail cello
School: prepare/bring the majors + music history workbooks, Bible curric?,
Empty Fridge
Packing: Special sunscreen, goggles, sunshirts, hats, water shoes, scuba gear, sunglasses, piano books, ipads
Change our sheets
Bleach toilets
Set up iPadsGet box to send trunki
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Definitely donate. As I understand it, if you donate to Goodwill (or another 501c3) and get a receipt, you can claim "replacement value" on your taxes. For even a base-level violin it would easily be $600-$1000 for two, especially with a bow and case.
Try not to let them sit around unplayed too much longer. That can also do its own kind of damage. If you're pretty sure they aren't worth much, don't bother with an appraisal. Appraisals can be spendy.
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Tomorrow I'll copy and paste stuff still undone from the week.
Partial school day (math, reading, spelling, instrument practice)
All three kids have shots scheduled. Whee!
Get out luggage and start packing
Confirm plan with assistant
Change our sheets
Bleach toilets
Set up iPads
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I might recommend that you look into some books on bonding and foster care. Toddler Adoption: The Weaver's Craft is one that's always mentioned. I think it might be really helpful to this child and to you even though she's not coming from "a tough place". I cannot fathom my own children at that age in that situation.
Really, from the child's perspective, they are being adopted... And then re-united or disrupted. It's a tough age to do that, but pointing out the obvious is probably not helpful and who can argue with "it's the culture"?
Poor kiddo! And I'm saying that while respecting the legwork you're doing as such a compassionate mom/wife/aunt to try and make this as minimally traumatic as possible. It may be really helpful that you've got awesome kids yourself. Our new nearly 2 year old daughter has bonded so completely and well with her siblings that it has been a great asset to her in what is never an easy situation. Preparing your 8 year old would be a top priority, too... maybe a bit of, "can you imagine??!" might help there.
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School
Full day NOPE did hardly any, mostly reading and math facts in the car while running errands. Gah.
Work
Do 1099s
Pay TeachersGet chamber music & concerto parts
Take payment to pianistCall new guy againErrands
-mail trunki NEED TO BUY A BOX?
-Social Worker visitBefore Trip on Saturday:
Finish LimoncelloWash boys linens and blanketsReturn extra glass jarsGet sunscreen makeupDownload lightbot, rush hour, trainyard,Make list for housesitterPrice out luggage...?Change water in aquariumGet airplane snacks, dollar store junk for toddlerMaybe get just a feeew more booksPack & mail cello
School: prepare/bring the majors + music history workbooks, Bible curric?,
Empty Fridge
Packing: Special sunscreen, goggles, sunshirts, hats, water shoes, scuba gear, sunglasses, piano books, ipads
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We just came home 5 months ago from China with Holt. In fact we had our second Social Worker visit today. I have nothing but positive things to say about Holt and the China Child of Promise program in particular. I highly respect their operations in the countries where they are active.
"No biking in the house without a helmet" is a fun book.
"Wish You Happy Forever" by Jenny Bowen is an interesting recent history of some of the developments in China
FWIW, you have to look pretty hard to find an agency that is doing something "illegitimate" and frankly there are so many rules and regulations that even when the corruption is in the country itself it is NOT currently the norm. I'm sure you don't mean it that way, but the title of your thread could imply that it's the other way around. Sometimes families who have adopted internationally get sensitive about that. Again, just FWIW.
If you're interested in finding forums there are multiple groups on Facebook and elsewhere full of adoptive families who would I'm sure help you find the information you want. There is one called "Holt Families" that is pretty active. You have to ask to be admitted, but I think they do allow prospective adoptive parents.
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School
Full day
Work
Do 1099s
Pay TeachersGet chamber music & concerto parts
Take payment to pianist
Errands
-mail trunki
-Social Worker visit
Before Trip on Saturday:
Finish LimoncelloWash boys linens and blanketsReturn extra glass jarsGet sunscreen makeupDownload lightbot, rush hour, trainyard,Make list for housesitterPrice out luggage...?Change water in aquarium
Pack & mail cello
School: prepare/bring the majors + music history workbooks, Bible curric?,
Maybe get just a feeew more books
Empty Fridge
Get airplane snacks,dollar store junk for toddler
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School
-full day for boysWork
Do 1099s
Pay TeachersErrands
-mail trunki
-choose books for trip-4 Loads Laundry-CostcoBefore Trip on Saturday:
Finish LimoncelloWash boys linens and blanketsReturn extra glass jarsGet sunscreen makeupDownload lightbot, rush hour, trainyard,Change water in aquarium
Make list for housesitter
Pack & mail cello
School: prepare/bring the majors + music history workbooks, Bible curric?,
Maybe get just a feeew more books
Price out luggage...?
Empty Fridge
Get airplane snacks,dollar store junk for toddler
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I'm so very grateful for this board and your thoughtful posts. I know I wax sappy like this every time, but thanks again.
When I was too young (like seriously, 8 or 9), I somehow ended up reading those J M Auel smutty weird poorly-written neanderthal books. I would like to avoid him reading that kind of mind-altering schlock until he is old enough to mediate its effect on his world view. Frankly, I believe I had some messed up ideas about sex, marriage and race that were planted by that series and corroborated by stuff I pulled together due to my own immaturity. I also read a LOT of Stephen King and was regularly freaked out under my covers half the night because they were too much for me and I couldn't put them down. Wish I hadn't read either so young.
There are so many wonderful suggestions here.
We went to Powell's this morning and got book 1 of Redwall (he liked it from first glance) and the first pseudonymous bosch. We looked at Fablehaven, but he wasn't as interested. The Percy Jacksons are a little fluffy/loose, and for some reason he's decided they don't look all that interesting (I swear I didn't give him my opinion!). I bet we'll read them soon anyway, just for the mythology reference fun.
I have been confusing the Spiderwick Chronicles, (and I hated the divorce / pseudo killing of the dad / constantly bickering siblings plot lines I saw in the movie) with the Penderwicks this whole time. I will need to check out the Penderwicks because I had written them off.
Two questions:
1. Have any of you read Wildwood or is that kind of a local phenomenon? (We often hike in the woods where it's supposed to be set, and I thought with the talking animals described on the flyleaf he might dig it.)2. The comments about Gregor being dark do concern me. I think the generalized atrocity of war kind of dark he can handle... but maybe I'm being naive in categorizing that differently than the mean-ness of personal acts in intimate relationships. My question: Do you read everything your kids read at this age?
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Hope the week improves, Melissa!
A boring normal day is one of my favorite (rare) things, Jean. Hope you're feeling well.
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My son's turning 9 next week and we have a 3 week trip but he's all out of books to read.
He adored the first 3 books of Harry Potter. I asked him to wait to read further because he's a bit sensitive and imho a little young for the next books. He is finishing book 5 of Gregor the Overlander this week, as suggested by the board a few months ago.
He is "interested in battles, and adventures, but not so much people just bickering or being snappy with each other." A friend recommended the Wimpy Kid series but I don't think he'd like that because I skimmed the first one and it seemed to focus a lot on "jerks", as the author calls them.
He doesn't like stories where friends or siblings treat each other poorly as a main plot device/ character trait. He'd prefer the story be about them "doing stuff or achieving things."
More intense/violent stuff would probably also not be his cup of tea (which is one reason we're waiting on continuing Harry). We've had long discussions about the wars in Gregor, initiated by my son because it effected him. He decided it was worth reading because he likes the story and the characters so much.
Any recs? Well written non-fluff would be icing on the cake.
TIA!!!!
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School
-full day for boys
Errands
-mail trunki
-choose books for trip
Before Trip on Saturday:
Finish LimoncelloWash boys linens and blanketsChange water in aquarium
Make list for housesitter
Pack & mail cello
School: prepare/bring the majors + music history workbooks, Bible curric?,
Empty Fridge
Get airplane snacks,dollar store junk for toddlerDownload lightbot, rush hour, trainyard,
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I managed to strain a tendon in my wrist while sitting almost perfectly still (talent!) and I do not want to do anything today. Glad to have the accountability to myself here.
School
-cello, piano lessons-Full list for boys-do CC prep OR decide to skip it...Errands
-mail trunki
-library returns & pay fine-cook something for football gameBefore Trip on Saturday
Finish LimoncelloWash boys linens and blanketsChange water in aquarium
Make list for housesitter
Pack & mail cello
School: prepare/bring the majors + music history workbooks, Bible curric?,
Empty Fridge
Get airplane snacks,dollar store junk for toddlerDownload lightbot, rush hour, trainyard,
NYT article about the fallout from public shaming..
in The Chat Board
Posted
There are three things I see in play:
1. Permanence and worldwide instant dissemination
2. Mobs are opportunistic and unsympathetic
And most of all
3. All information becomes equal in the eyes of "the public" online. Expertise means very little, which mean conspiracy and hyperbole are given equal audience with truth. Contrition means almost nothing.