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Alice

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Posts posted by Alice

  1. I checked the first one but I think there is a difference between "tell everything that is in your head" and "bare your soul" and even "confess every sin". I think I can tell dh everything and he would forgive me.  But I don't tell him everything that is in my head and I don't think he would want me to. Sometimes he annoys me or I'm bugged by him, I don't tell him that. And I wouldn't want him to tell me everything I do that annoys him. It's not that I couldn't tell him and he wouldn't love me...it's just that I don't think a relationship has to share every single detail to be healthy. Maybe there is a difference between hiding things because you are afraid of what the other person will think and just not sharing because you don't want to. 

    When we were getting married the common advice was to "not let the sun go down on your anger." My pastor's wife at the time gave me great advice. She was a very outspoken and strong woman but she said her advice was "not everything in your head needs to be said aloud". She added "Sometimes, just go to bed and let the light of a new day shine on whatever it is." Those were great pieces of advice. 

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  2. As a pediatrician, we see people up until 21. We'll see some young adults a bit after that depending on circumstances but we run into issues with insurance after 23 (they often won't cover them seeing a pediatrician) and I think they are better served seeing an adult doctor. If they haven't switched before we start talking to them around age 20 about transitioning to an adult doctor. I also have a lot of parents who ask in the teen years if they should switch and I always answer that I think it depends on the teen and what they are comfortable with. Some prefer to switch to a family doctor as they hate coming to the "baby doctor" but some feel like that they would rather see someone they know than someone new. I personally think they should do whatever the teen prefers. 

    Specialists are a real problem for the kids who are 17-18. Most pediatric specialists won't see new patients who are 18 and older, and some won't make appointments if they even are about to turn 18. I don't know if it's an issue for them with insurance or it's just their policy. Most adult specialists won't see people under the age of 18. So it' snot an uncommon issue for me to have a patient who I need to refer who is 17 and 9 months. The adult doc doesn't want to see them yet and sometimes the pediatric person doesn't either, or they can't get an appointment with them before they are 18. I will say usually if I can call and talk to the doctor themselves and explain the situation they will make exceptions, it's just the front office usually has a policy they are told and they will stick by the age when the parents call. 

    The exception is for people who have seen the specialists for years for a chronic condition or who have a disease that isn't seen as often in adults, sometimes due to typical age of survival. For example, a lot of kids who had complex cardiac defects continue to see the pediatric cardiologist well past 21. Kids with cystic fibrosis used to only see pediatric pulmonologists because there weren't many people who survived into adulthood so the adult pulmonologists weren't as used to seeing them, but that has changed. I have a patient with muscular dystrophy who will probably stay at the same muscular dystrophy clinic that cares for all ages. Same is true for complex genetic disorders. 

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  3. 25 minutes ago, kbutton said:

    We’re going in March, and I have questions if that’s okay…can you still walk around with backpacks and go in museums with them? I will need some food options as I have a lot of allergies. One kid needs supplies in case of a nose bleed. If we do anything on a bike, we have to lug around helmets (at least for the blood thinner kid). 

    Do many things require advanced or timed tickets? (Free is our price point, but we might do one or two paid options.) I don’t think we’re worried about going to the capitol.

    Is it easy to find flexible food options (gluten free, etc.)? Is it hard to get food and take it outdoors? It’s been a really long time since I’ve been.

    Thanks!

    -Yes you can go in some museums with backpacks. You have to go through security. A few museums will make you check a bag if it's big (usually the art museums) or carry it on your front. If they make you check it, it's free. 

    -Very little requires advanced/timed tickets. The Museum of African American History does. Holocaust museum does. Some specific exhibits will, but I don't know of any right now that do (like when the Vermeer exhibit was at National Gallery you had to have a timed ticket for that but could go to the rest of the museum without it). 

    -You could easily go to all free museums. The Spy Museum has a fee (and is worth it IMO). And then some of the art museums further afield (Philips Gallery) do. But the Smithsonian museums are all free. 

    -Food is a little harder to find on the mall. It's somewhat overpriced. The museum cafeterias are kind of what you expect. The American Indian Museum and the African American Museum both have excellent food. You can find the menus online if you want to look. There are a lot of food trucks that park along the mall. if you venture away from the mall, yes it's very easy to find whatever kind of food you want. Vegan, gluten free, etc. You don't have to go far. It wouldn't be hard to take food outdoors, but March can be kind of iffy weather here and it might be chilly. We used to picnic on the mall all the time when my kids were younger. 

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  4. Not mentioned...

    -Yogurts- they have a specific lemon yogurt that I love. But they often don't have it in stock or it might be discontinued or seasonal. That is one of the frustrating (and also sort of fun) things...the things you love will come and go. 

    -Chimichurra

    -They have a lot of great vegan offerings. The ice cream is a favorite of my son's- specifically the vanilla soy is apparently the best anywhere. They also have a green tea mochi ice cream and a black boba ice cream that my kid's like. 

    -Peanut butter (or almond butter) filled pretzels. 

    -Pizza dough- it's in the refrigerated section and fairly inexpensive. It used to be 79 cents but I haven't gotten it in awhile. Made for a great cheap pizza night. 

    -The milk here is the cheapest anywhere, I have no idea why except that maybe it's priced that way as a loss leader. 

    -My family all likes their mints- the green tea ones and chai ones. I do not. 🙂

     

  5. I didn't worry about it with my oldest, our state doesn't require us to fulfill any specific classes and I didn't feel like I needed to include it. 

    When my second son went to public school (starting in 10th grade) I had to say we'd done Health so that he could get a credit for PE/Health for 9th grade, otherwise he'd have had to do two years of PE. I just wrote a few sentences saying he had "Explored nutrition as relates to a vegan diet. Discussed drugs and alcohol and sexual health." And he had a CPR certification which I mentioned. They were fine with that with no other documentation. 

  6. Trazadone isn't a SSRI, although it is very similar (it's a SARI) and works similarly. 

    It actually isn't FDA approved for insomnia, but it is very commonly used. It was approved as a treatment for depression but the sedative side effects are considerable so it became something was used for insomnia. This is actually really common in medicine, there are a lot of meds that aren't technically FDA approved for the thing they end up being used for. Or that start as one thing and then people realize the side effect is actually more useful than the original usage. One of the more famous examples is Rogaine, which is a blood pressure medication. It just had the side effect of causing hair growth and then people realized there was a huge market for that use. 

     

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  7. -I recently went to the African American Museum and it is overwhelming. It would be fairly easy to just go to the upper floors which are more culture focused. We were there for a private event so went to everything but I felt like if I was going to go back I would have done it in smaller sections. It's just a lot of information and a lot to take in. The food there is VERY good. 

    -I am not a huge fan of the American Indian museum as a museum but the food is excellent and the building is beautiful. It's near the Capitol so would be a good place to eat and just to walk in and look at the building. Another quick building down there is the Botanic Gardens, which are right by the Capitol and easy to walk through fairly quickly. 

    -Renwick Gallery is a somewhat lesser known Smithsonian museum, it is off the mall but close (near the White House). It's Art, but focused on craft. It's very cool and one of our favorites. I just saw that it is temporarily closed for some kind of pipe replacement, so check before you come. 

    -If you want a newer area that has a lot of fun places- try the Wharf. It's not as iconic as Georgetown but more modern. Lots of shops, restaurants. They have an outdoor skating rink if you are here in the winter. They also have giant swings on the piers and it's just a fun atmosphere. My daughter loves that kind of thing. There is a theater there called The Anthem that has a lot of concerts. 

    -Ice skating at the rink by the National Gallery is always fun. You can also get hot chocolate at the cafe there. 

    -There are tons of options for concerts/tickets/things. One fun and free option is the Millenium Stage at the Kennedy Center. Everything is free, some are available online first (still free just have to be reserved). https://www.kennedy-center.org/whats-on/millennium-stage/ They have performances every Wed-Sun. The Kennedy Center itself is pretty impressive as a building and there are great views from the balcony/deck outdoors. And there is a new area called The Reach that has a cafe and connects to the bike path by the river. The Reach has some artwork and sometimes also hosts free events. 

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  8. I don't know if this is the reason but I read a really long article last year in the New Yorker about returns and the whole industry around returning stuff and the basic summary was that returns don't really work the way we think they do. Very little (basically almost nothing) gets returned to the store or site that we buy from. It almost all goes somewhere else to either get destroyed, dumped or to get resold on some other site. This is true even for places like Amazon. One of the startling things in the story to me was that Amazon apparently says that it doesn't dump things in landfills but it's because they burn a lot of the returns.

     So I'm guessing that returns all go to different places because they have different endpoints...it's not like they are actually going back to an Amazon warehouse. The different companies that are taking the products back are probably contracted to then send them on somewhere...but it's not the same places they get sent. 

    That's somewhat of a guess so I could be really wrong. And I agree with you that it is annoying from a customer side of it. 

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  9. To be honest, I can't remember what I did for my oldest and can't find his transcript- I think it was on an old computer that died. I remember being really stressed about it though and asking here and finding about half the people said they did 1/2 credit for each and half the people said 1 credit each. FWIW, the final transcript we got from PA homeschoolers gave him a full credit for each. It also gave a full credit for MacroEconomics and a full credit for Microeconomics. He took both classes (Physics E/M and Mechanics) in one year and took both AP tests and the same with the Economics  (one year, 2 tests). 

    In the end, I figured colleges were more going to look at the classes as listed and the fact that he was planning on taking the AP tests than how many actual credits it was. I also figured being AP classes, that colleges understood what the classes entailed and didn't really care about the credits as assigned. My son had plenty of science credits so I wasn't particularly worried about it (he had 5 if I listed them separately..Bio, Chem, AP, Chem and both Physics). 

    Sorry, that's not particularly helpful except to say it's a common question and I think a lot of people do something different and it probably works out. 

    Also, in the end he got 8 credits from the college he went to for Physics, so equivalent of two semesters. 

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  10. We bought a condo when we got married. Dh was 34, I was 28. He had previously lived with his parents in an over the garage apartment so had been able to save a fair amount. 

    We bought our first house three years later, after our oldest was born. So Dh was 37, I was 31. It was a weird set of circumstances, we weren't really planning on buying. A coworker of his was killed in a car accident. The sister sold the house to us at the low end of market rate. Neither of us used realtors and she passed on all the savings to us. In exchange, she didn't have to do any updating to the house to sell it and we also cleaned out a good deal of it for her (she took everything sentimental, we did the rest of the cleanup). 

  11. You are definitely not a failure. Homeschooling is hard sometimes. I have three kids, my oldest homeschooled all the way through, my current 11th grader decided to go to public school last year as a 10th grader, my daughter is a 9th grader at public school- having homeschooled up until that point. Homeschooling is hard. Public school is hard. Parenting teens is hard. I have felt like a failure as a parent in both settings and most of the people I know who care about their kids feel frustrated and like they have failed at something at some point, even if they haven't. 

    For the 11th grader....my oldest is a STEM oriented kid who hates hates hates to write. And also hates literary analysis. He loved reading but hated traditional literature kinds of classes. I thought about it as more of a goal. I wanted him to be able to write well enough to succeed in college. But I didn't really care about him turning out a certain amount of work in high school to mimic a high school English credit. (And as an aside, now with kids in public school, there are some things they do at a higher standard than ours and some things they do at a much lower standard than ours...in honors English in a pretty high performing school my kids have read THREE books in an entire year. I wish I'd known that when I was homeschooling my oldest and worrying about whether I was doing "enough".) 

    So for my oldest, he could write but hated it. It helped to just assign him less writing so that he knew it wasn't busy work and also to have him write for things he liked rather than lit analysis or something that he hated. In college now at a small liberal arts college, he is thriving. He is a Math/Comp Sci major but took a class first semester with a History professor who he loved. It was a freshman seminar type of class but he loved the guy and rediscovered a love of history. He has now taken a ton of History classes and had to write a lot for those and done well. So I'd ask yourself if more if your son has writing skills? And if not, what can you do to work on those skills? What is about writing that is the issue for him? Is it coming up with creative topics? Is it just doing something he doesn't like? You could scaffold writing quite a bit instead of assigning essays.  The classes that helped my son the most were the ones at Lukeion, which was also where he took Latin. He had to write a fair amount for Latin and he hated the writing but liked the subject so it was ok. (Similarly he didn't mind as much writing for AP Physics or Chemistry when it was lab reports, it's a different kind of writing.) Lukeion also has some writing classes and those were good for him and then he did the Shakespeare classes there as his English classes senior year and the writing he did in those was all I required. 

    For the 9th grader, I will echo the previous poster. You may not know what they accept or require until you meet with them. I had been told by all the homeschoolers in our area that the public schools would not accept homeschool credits and the website of the school system kind of also made it seem that way. But they accepted all our credits, even for completely mom-designed and graded classes. They also placed him appropriately in all the classes. So it might surprise you. 

    I'll also add that it was absolutely the right decision for us and our son to have him got to public school. There are a lot of things he doesn't like about it, but overall it's been good. And it helped me be able to just become an advocate and helper to him which has been a more positive relationship than before. 

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  12. My second son entered public school as a 10th grader after homeschooling up to that point, my daughter started this year as a 9th grader. I felt like they were both as prepared as we could possibly be, but I didn't really do anything special to prepare them. I agree with those who say the social challenges and just the challenge of being somewhere all day has been a bigger adjustment than the actual academics. 

    I would also agree that the difference between honors and non-honors has been huge. My son took mostly non-honors at first because the guidance counselors sort of encouraged that when we signed up. And he was going more for mental health reasons than academics so I was okay with it being an easy year.  It was a huge mistake as the regular classes were too easy for him and somewhat boring. He was able to switch in some of them so that he had more of a challenge and this year he is in more appropriate classes. My daughter started off with all honors and some have been very challenging and some just kind of average. 

    I think the hardest class for my daughter as far as homeschool not preparing her has been French. She did two years online with Aim Academy and I think it was solid, but the amount of speaking she had to do was much less than if she had been in a regular classroom.  She has a very good teacher though and she is doing okay in the class. I'm not sure what we could have done differently though as we are not a bilingual home so any language would probably have been an issue. We could have started her in a different language at the first year level as a 9th grader but that would have meant she had to take a language all four years and she didn't want to be locked into that.  My son took ASL as his language and that has been an easier adjustment. 

    Writing has really not been an issue for either of them and we did not do a ton of formal writing in our school. We did write, but it wasn't as structured as what I hear others on here describing. They have some timed essays, but especially for the 9th grader they really take them through the process ahead of time. Their school is an IB school (International Baccalaureate) so the classes in 9th and 10th grade are somewhat structured to give them the skills they would need for IB classes/tests. So for example, she will have an essay test but will have multiple class periods ahead of  time to prepare for it. Or they have this other history research skills thing they have to do that goes the whole year and each step is kind of separate and graded. My guess is that it's preparing them for a paper they would do in 11th or 12th grade where they wouldn't have the steps separated but this is giving them the skills. 

    I think the other thing that for me as a homeschooling parent has been an adjustment is knowing how much to help and when to step in. There have  been a few things I've had to intervene on but I think I probably waited too long. I wasn't sure how much parental involvement was okay, but we've had two issues where it was clear that as soon as I got involved they got handled. Knowing my role as a parent but not a homeschooling teacher/parent/guidance counselor/principal etc. has been I think as much of an adjustment for me as school has been for them. Maybe more so. 

    Overall though I'll say that I think it's been a very positive thing for both kids, for different reasons. 

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  13. 3 hours ago, TechWife said:

    When you wear the Dansko clogs, where do your feet hurt?

    Have you tried New Balance? Some of their models have a wide toe box, which would probably help the bunions. Their arch support is good also.

    For slightly dressier shoes, I’ve found Clarks to be a good fit. Good arch support and soft footbed. This  is my current favorite.

    I have a pair of ECO sneakers that are moderately comfortable.

    You might find some ideas in the “comfort” category of women’s shoes on the Nordstrom site. They have good sales periodically and you can shop around. Their descriptions are helpful, I think. 

     

    It's hard to say where the clogs hurt because they hurt so much now that it just feels like everywhere. It's mostly across the top I think though. It's not the arch. 

    I have tried New Balance in the past, I could do that again. That is what I used to get for walking shoes because they did have the wide toe box. But they I was gifted a pair of the On shoes at the beginning of the pandemic and really liked them. I used to just use them for walking but have now shifted to wearing them all the time. (They aren't the same ones, just the same brand). 

    3 hours ago, City Mouse said:

    Have you gone to a running store and been fitted? I live my Hokas and Brooks, but they are obviously athletic shoes. Oh, and I don’t do any running at all and probably never will, but the shoes saved me. 

    I have been fitted at a running sore for my current On shoes. I tried the Hokas because I knew a lot of people that swore that they were the best if you had to stand for a long time or had feet issues. But I didn't like them. I can't remember why but they felt weird to me. 

    2 hours ago, Pawz4me said:

    FWIW, I very much wanted Hokas to work for me. But for my feet they're by far the worst "good" brand of shoes I've ever tried. They hurt so much. I think the main reason is that even their wide widths are too narrow for me, but I can't say for sure it wasn't something more than that because the hurt really was bad, and kind of all over.

    They do have a very good no-questions-asked return policy, though, so there's no harm in trying.

    Yes, I agree, they just didn't work for me. 

    2 hours ago, Hilltopmom said:

    Alegria and Orthofeet are not supportive enough for me and those are always recommended. 
    Dansko and Birks would be my usual recommendation. 
    Have you tried any other Birks like the clogs?

    or Stegman wool slides?

    Vionic sandals are good but their shoes didn’t have enough support for me. The slippers are ok. 

    I also suggest going to a running store and getting their opinion. I use Brooks and Hokas but they have to be their most supportive/ orthopedic shoe and even then I add inserts.

    Schedule  that podiatrist appointment 🙂

    I haven't tried other Birks, I have thought about that. 

    And yes, I know, I need to see the podiatrist. 🙂

    20 minutes ago, SFisher said:

    Both me and my son have wide feet - wide through the toes. And I also have problems with pelvic pain, so I don’t even try to wear most shoe brands or heels.

    if you are looking for regular brands that are easier to find in stores, merrels generally have a wider toe box, crocs (although, they’re the opposite of dressy), my son can wear XW new balance, tevas (famous for sandals, but have some shoes)

    you can also look at minimal shoe brands. Look for zero drop, flexible soles, little or no padding, etc. I have a pair of whitins I got off of Amazon, they meet the minimal shoe criteria but are affordable.

     

    if you’re new to minimal shoes, look for books/articles/interviews by Katie bowman.
     

    here’s her shoe list: https://www.nutritiousmovement.com/shoes-the-list/

    We have pretty good luck buying shoes from Zappos. They tend to carry wides and extra wides. You can also order a bunch and send back what doesn’t fit for free. I think you might even be able to filter by wide toe box and heel height.

    I'm not sure if part of my issue is going around too much without shoes. I much prefer to be barefoot, always have. I don't like the constricting feeling of shoes. But I have noticed that if I'm doing a lot around the house and not wearing shoes it makes my feet hurt. Which leads me to wonder if the minimal shoe brands would also be an issue. I tried a pair of something that was supposed to be zero drop at the running store (can't remember the brand...I tried on so many shoes that day that they all ran together) and they definitely hurt. 

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  14. I need new shoes that don't hurt. I have a myriad of foot issues: bunions (worse on one side than the other), what I think is probably a Morton's neuroma, possible arthritis and wide feet. 

    I currently have really two pair of shoes that don't hurt. One is a pair of On shoes- specifically the On Cloudgo. They are my second pair of On shoes and I've liked them both. I can get more and probably will. The only downside so far is that the upper is fabric and so I end up getting a hole on the sides where I have bunions (wears away faster there than elsewhere). The other pair is Birkenstocks, specifically the Arizona sandals. 

    I am a pediatrician so on days I work I have to have something closed toe and I'm on my feet a lot. It's fairly casual so I can wear the On sneakers but I would love to have something that looks slightly nicer as they don't look always look great, depending on what I am wearing. I'd also like something slightly nicer I can wear other places. 

    Other info that might help...I have a pair of Dansko clogs that I used to like but now hurt so much everytime I wear them. I only got them two years ago so I'm not sure if my feet changed or what the issue is. 

    I know I can go to specialized stores, and I will probably do that but the stores I've been to either seem to have people who want to sell something particular (like the Danskos) or they are not that knowledgeable. So I'd like to go into the store with some specific things in mind that I'm looking at/for. 

    I also know I should probably go to a podiatrist, I'm going to try to do that in the new year. 

  15. Some random thoughts...

    Dh went to Yale (graduated in 1988) and although the stats do show grade inflation increasing, his response to this article was that everyone made A's when he was there also. The saying when he was there was "hard to get into, hard to get out of". Meaning it would take work to actually fail anything. He also usually tells people he didn't work very hard there. He worked really hard in high school, but not so much in college. 

    When I was in medical school my school graded on a strict curve. Meaning only a certain percentage could get a Honors, regardless of percentage correct on a test. That meant every test, every class fostered an incredibly competitive atmosphere. You weren't just trying to do your best, you also had to beat everyone else. It's kind of the worst case opposite scenario of grade inflation and everyone getting an A. 

    We have medical students come to our office and we've run into issues multiple times with students being upset with our grades. The school gives us a rubric and the way they define what they want a student to do as an Honors, maybe 1 student a year will meet (we have roughly 6-8 students a year). But we've been told that 40% of their students get honors and a pass (the grading system is Honors, High Pass, Pass, Low Pass, Fail) is considered akin to failure. We had one kid who we gave a pass, and honestly we felt like we were being generous, and we had to deal with multiple emails from the heads of the department somewhat questioning us. The message we get from the school is that we should be giving more honors and basically we've said then they need to change their rubric if they want us to honestly grade people higher. We're in kind of a unique position as we aren't employed by the school and so can kind of do what we want. If they decide to stop sending students to us it hurts them more than us, unlike a professor who is employed by the school. 

    • Like 3
  16. 1 hour ago, PeterPan said:

    We could go through each state and see, but VA has notification laws that seem to include academic testing, etc. etc. That's a pretty middle of the road approach for states that do have requirements. Since that doesn't seem to stop the potential for abuse, I'm not sure what kind of legal structures you're advocating for. Also, 9 of the 17 (across five states) were NOT homeschooled and were therefore theoretically in higher observation settings where they could have gotten assistance, been noticed, whatever. If THAT LEVEL of scrutiny, being enrolled in a daily school (yes?) doesn't solve the issue, then again I don't see what level of homeschool scrutiny you're asking for. 

    It's HORRIFIC that abuse is happening, but it seems to be happening in spite of the school type, in spite of access to reporting/assistance, etc. Maybe they could figure out what the connector REALLY is and address that. Is it mental health? Alcohol? What is the real conversation that needs to happen? 

     

     Since VA keeps being brought up...it is technically a "middle" state as far as regulations go but it's also very easy to homeschool here and there is one particular loophole that mans no regulation. If you claim you are homeschooling under "religious exemption" then you do not have to do anything else and you do not have to ever report again,  you are done. Also, there is no requirements to prove religious exemption. I know people who claim it so that they can be exempt from the other requirements (which are IMO pretty easy). For the data in studies such as the one above it would be interesting to know if other states have similar loopholes which would make comparing low/middle/high regulation meaningless. 

     

     

     

    • Like 2
  17. The doctors at my practice give the nurses and front desk Amazon cards and I also put a few other items in the bag to make them a little more fun. I don't think it should count as taxable income as we aren't their employers (none of us are partners and we pay for the bags out of our own money, not the practice money). 

    The things I put in them vary from year to year but I've done: teas, fuzzy Christmas socks, lip balms, hand lotions, chocolate, small enamel pins, pens. The socks are always very popular. 

    • Like 1
  18. One other thought. If he has ADHD (which he may not but sounds like it from the description) he may not be able to just "not procrastinate". So asking him to do that as a requirement to be able to audition might feel unfair. It's not just willpower for people who truly have issues with focus/distraction.  

    One option would be to provide very specific scaffolding- like break down an assignment into small bites and look at it with him over every step. 

    Another option would be to accept the procrastination, I know you said he isn't thriving now and that might not be a good answer. I know with my own son who does have ADHD that he absolutely works better under pressure. Part of helping him as been to point out choices and reframe procrastination as a choice he is making...but not as a bad habit. He feels less bad about himself which then makes it feel more like just the way he works rather than a struggle. An example would be this past weekend. He had an English essay due Monday. He could have worked on it over Thanksgiving break but he didn't. He started it Monday night around 6 pm. But he knew it was his choice and he was glad to have had the break to just goof off and not do work, even though Monday night was stressful. But he got it done. 

     

    I just saw your reply...I know I said I'd be hesitant to drop the theater. I still would. But I do think it's reasonable with a 16 year old to say "Look, I can see that you are stressed and something has to change. Unless you can think of a better solution, as your parent that loves you, we're going to have you take a break from theater."  

    • Like 2
  19. Have you asked him what he would like to cut back? 

    If theater is the thing that he loves and that provides social outlets and other positive things, I'd be hesitant to let it go.

    The statement that "theater is my escape from school" and your desription of him sounds a lot like my son. He is also very smart and very much loves learning on his own but does not  like "school". It's been hard for me to accept that over the years as my ideal was to have this wonderful love of learning and I wanted all my kids to love "school". But I finally just had to accept that he did not. 

    I'd be hesitant to take away the thing he loves and replace it with something he does not love and that it seems he sees as drudgery.  Is there anything else you could cut back? Could he drop a class and do it as a self-taught class? Could he drop the job and plan on working in the summer for income? 

     

    • Like 1
  20. 59 minutes ago, regentrude said:

    I just want to comment on AP Physics. Are you thinking of the algebra based AP Physics 1+2, or the calculus based physics AP Physics C Mech & E&M?
    I assume the former, since you won't do calculus before AP Physics.

    I don't think repeating algebra based physics is a good plan. Why take, what is essentially the same class, twice? 
    Also, I want to make sure that you are aware that if your kid is inclined to go into a STEM discipline, AP Physics 1+2 will not count for credit towards his major (unless it's biology where often only alg based physics is needed).

    regentrude is way more knowledgable than me...but you could switch it and do AP Physics C (the Calc based ones) concurrently with Calculus senior year. My son took both of the classes with PA Homeschoolers while using the AOPS Calc book and did well. I also don't think you need two years of Physics, even if you are going to do the Calc based Physics. 

  21. Couple of thought that haven't already been mentioned..

    -For AOPS, I used the suggestions from Kathy in Richmond in this thread. My oldest was very into Math and is now a Math major, but for various reasons we wanted him to move a little faster. This helped know what to make sure to cover and what could be extras. Senior year he ended up self-teaching AP Calculus with AOPS and took the BC exam and did well. I didn't try and get it approved as an official course, just listed it as "Calculus at the AP Level". He also worked through a bunch of other math books including Statistics, Number Theory and Advanced C&P. 

    -I also completely agree with the passion thing. Some kids will know what they want to do and go very deep, others will have a general idea but want to do lots of other things also. That's fine. 

    -There are plenty of scholarships, especially at smaller private schools or at less competitive large public schools. There aren't very many full-ride scholarships or ones to highly competitive places. But if you just need money, and not the entire sum, you can get very good money with solid scores. My oldest had very good SAT scores, solid AP scores, and a good transcript and got multiple offers at the kinds of places he was looking. It wasn't full-ride by any means but it was enough. 

     

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  22. On 11/27/2023 at 6:43 PM, Harriet Vane said:

     

    People don't read stuff. It's a problem. There is no new app or form of communication that will fix the problem. They simply will not read stuff. Your best bet is what you're doing--send it out repetitively and in more than one form. You'll hit a good proportion of people that way.

    That said, I do think texts hit most people these days. No one wants another app. If you don't have a website, you might consider having one for people to go look retrieve the information there.

    This. It does not matter what you do. Whatever you use someone will not read it. If you use multiple methods, someone will not read all of them. 

    I was the head of a summer swim team for several years. One year I sent out a survey at the end of the year for feedback and one person asked for less communication about swim meets. Um, no. I can't communicate less about the main thing we do and half the time I was getting questions from people that made me think there wasn't enough communication. That (plus other experiences) made me realize that you cannot win as the head organizer of an activity. The people who are responsible will be annoyed that you send too many texts/emails/use an extra app. And the other people will not read what you do send. 

     

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  23. I can see why it would annoy you. 

    My guess is she feels a bit threatened by her son growing older and now having a serious girlfriend. I may be wrong, but just based on what you said that's my guess. It sounds like she is trying to have a relationship with your daughter, maybe consciously or sub-consciously with the idea that it will help keep her son close. To me, she sound like someone kind of insecure who is trying to find ways to secure her relationship with her son and also trying to figure out how to have relationships with your daughter and you. 

    I think if that's all she has done, I'd find someone to vent to (like here) and just be friendly to her. 

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