Alice
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Posts posted by Alice
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Posting with trepidation as I'm in a similar place and not someone who has much experience....:)
The best advice I've gotten here over and over again about reading is to relax. I was pushing my son too hard...he could do it but didn't like it and it ended up being a struggle. So the best thing I did was to finally listen to all the wiser women here and back off this summer. We read a lot of books together but I didn't do any lessons. That was great for us and I saw a tremendous amount of increased interest in his part on reading. So we've started again slowly.
That said, it doesn't sound like your son is disliking reading or that you are pushing him. I just wanted to mention that for me that was the case.
I've noticed the same thing with my son...he can sound out words fine and he gets blending but the fluency isn't really coming. He can look at c-a-t and come up with cat but only after sounding out each letter each time. I think it is just a developmental issue...his brain isn't there yet. In talking to others who have taught kids to read they say the same thing, that there is just a point where fluency gets "switched on" and it's hard or impossible to force that to happen.
What I've chosen to do is to keep introducing new rules/sounds as long as he's happy with it and it's fun. We are doing a lot more reading of early readers together so he can get more and more practice.
I also came up with a fluency game that he loves. I wrote many CVC words on index cards. Then he sees how many he can read in a minute. I know he knows the sounds and these words aren't tough for him so I think it's ok to focus more on the speed of reading it. We have a mini-competition to see if he can beat his own record. For each word read he gets an M&M (we don't play this every day. :)). He is really liking this game...something about it appeals to his natural competitive nature.
ETA: My ds also had a really hard time with E. I chose to move on and just give him extra practice with E words, and to know that when we come with a word with an E in it I often need to gently remind him of the sound. Same thing with B and D. He still struggles with those although I see it getting less and less. I think as long as OVERALL he is getting it it's reasonable to expect that there will be some sounds or rules that he has trouble with. Jessie Wise in OPGTR recommends doing "one new and two review" so the idea is that even if you are introducing new topics you expect that you will be reviewing old ones. I think you just have to try and gauge by your son if you are going too fast or too slow....and that's something that is hard to do at first. I'm slowly learning how to keep it just the right amount of challenging.
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. . . that the message is that we can do it all. (I know I can't!)
I think the message is that we can do it . . . different. We as a society don't have to structure things the way we have. We don't have to make the work-a-day world quite so rigorously anti-family as we currently do.
Absolutely true! I think the "you can do it all" is one of the biggest lies ever sold to women (and men). I can't do it all, and I fully admit that. I absolutely do make sacrifices in my career for my family and kids. So does dh.
The message I hope to pass on to my own kids (be they boys or girls) is that noone can do it all. I completely and totally depend on my husband's help to make our family and marriage and life successful. He depends on me. And more importantly, for us, as Christians we depend on God.
I guess the main difference in my own beliefs and that of the Baucham article is that although I do believe women and men are created differently and I do believe in the husband being the head of the house I think that we can still live that out with me working outside of the home, with me earning more than my dh and with my husband helping with the role of caring for the kids and taking care of the house.
I think this is a really interesting discussion outside of the VP race. A good friend of mine (who is a SAHM) and I have had this conversation recently. We both agree that noone really talked to us about this. My Mom raised me that I could "have it all" yet at the same time she was a SAHM who strongly believed moms should be home all the time. She completely supported my desire to be a doctor (from a very early age) but we never really discussed how that would look if I was also a mother. My friend and I both talked about how we hope to talk about this more with our own kids.
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I wouldn't run for VP in this situation (which is really what the question is, not just any dream job) but then I wouldn't ever run for VP. I would never want the amount of public scrutiny or repsonsiblity that comes with this job. It wouldn't be my dream job it would be a nightmare. So, it's hard for me to imagine how she is feeling now with a baby and a pregnant daughter and three other kids....because I wouldn't have wanted the same career in the first place.
Now...would I want my dream job, whatever that would be in this same family setting? Maybe....I think being a responsible adult does mean postponing my own dreams and desires in order to be the best Mom I can be. I purposefully ruled out certain career options within medicine for this reason.
BUT if I had a supportive husband who was a great Dad and who would provide that primary role for my kids? If my family supported my decision to take this job that is a once in a lifetime chance? If I thought that my kids would benefit from this in ways that would make up for the public scrutiny and other harm? If I thought that God had given me certain gifts and talents and this job was an opportunity to use those? If I felt that this job was a calling? Again, yes, ,maybe. I do think fathers can be just as good at being a primary caregiver. I am also a conservative Christian and believe in men being the head of the household, but I guess I think a man can do that as a SAHD. I would hope that if I was in this situation my husband and I would have prayed together and asked God for guidance. I would hope that we would then have thick enough skin to be confident in our decision admist all the people telling us we were wrong.
ETA: When I re-read this I thought it sounded like I was implying that I don't now have a supportive husband. Actually, I have an amazing dh that does stay home part-time with our kids and plans to take on part of the homeschooling role. He has postponed his own career advancement in order for us to both be able to work part-time and still have our kids be only with one of us. Probaly noone else cares about this edit...but it makes me feel better knowing I didn't give the wrong impression of him. :)
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Like many of the other posters, I strongly disagree with the article posted.
I can't even sit and write all the ways I disagree. I just find this view so frustrating in the Christian community. The idea that there is only one way for a Christian wife or mother or father or husband or family to look.
It reminds me of people who had been close friends of dh's who commented to him after we got engaged that "Surely Alice isn't going to work once you are married." This was while I was finishing up my pediatric residency training. His reply was "Of course she is. We'd love to see you (they had called to say they were coming to visit) but if you are coming to discuss this please don't. " They didn't come....which was a shame as we didn't want to lose the friendship but also a shame that they could only envision a Christian home as looking one way. The good thing was that it even more endeared dh to me and to me, highlighted his strength as a future husband.
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I haven't read all the links but as someone who has worked in NICU's I'm skeptical that we could ever create something that would work as well as a uterus. It's unbelievable the amount of work that goes into ever tiny detail of micro-managing a micro-premie. We have the technology to keep a baby born at 23 weeks alive, but it is incredibly difficult (and expensive). And there are all sorts of issues of light and dark and noise and nurture beyond the medical issues.
Now, I know the concept here is different...supposedly an artificial womb that will just work like a natural womb. But having seen medicines best efforts at "artificial"...I think we still can't do it as well as God. I think an artificial womb would be a wonderful solution for someone who is delivering early or someone who has a true life threatening condition but I'm not sure it would be a viable alternative to abortion. (For one thing you get into the cost issue...who pays for this? The woman who doesn't want the baby? The government? You are going to have to assume it would be very costly.)
Also...fyi...there are embryo adoptions already happening. This is when an embryo created via IVF is "adopted" by another family and implanted into the adopted mother's uterus. She then carries the baby to full-term. I have a patient in my practice who was born this way. Here is one link...it is a Christian site but it gives the basics...http://www.embryoadoption.org/about/index.cfm. It's not exactly the fetal transplant that you are talking about but you could see how it could develop into that perhaps.
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Yesterday (Sat.) my dh told me that his sermon was going to be about the war in Iraq and what the Bible says. He told me the gist of his sermon and I rebutted, advising him that he could not maintain a neutral political stance by what he wanted to say.
Without getting into the details of which party or what views a pastor preaches about from the pulpit, do you mind sharing whether or not:
1. You've had a pastor that shared (any) political view from the pulpit, or attempt (directly or indirectly) to sway others towards one particular line of political thinking.
2. If you pastor did, would it upset you? Is there any harm in a pastor openly sharing his political views?
I ask because a few members of the church asked him afterwards if he was leading up to a certain conclusion that he neglected to share- of course he was...and then upon their request he shared it with them, citing me as the reason he didn't do it from the pulpit.
Now I'm curious whether I was wrong in advising him not to.
I didn't read all the posts but I could tell that this thread got long and somewhat off the OP's question. So this is solely in answer to the OP.
1) I did have a pastor who would share political views from the pulpit. He made it very clear that he thought that one party (Republican) was his own party. I thought that he implied that we should be voting Republican if we were trying to be faithful to God's will.
2) Yes, it really bothered me. My own political views were mostly the same as his, although not completely. But I felt this was way over the line. I went and talked with him about it and told him that I felt that neither political party was endorsed by God and that his sermons would make any Democrats uncomfortable in the church. I was especially bothered because my Dad is a life-long Democrat (and a Christian, imagine that ;)) and I knew that if he had been present during any of those sermons he would have been angry, turned off, uncomfortable and felt unwelcome.
I should say that in my case my pastor was very gracous. He apologized and I did think he toned down his sermons. It wasn't a huge secret which way his political views were but he did do a much better job at keeping it out of the pulpit. He's no longer our pastor (he retired to work at another ministry). Our current pastor never talks about politics. He does pray for the election and our leaders but not in a way that implies he is praying for a certain outcome.
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Will pray for Murray.
This happened last summer with our indoor only cat (10 yrs old). I was sure he hadn't made it after about 10 days as I couldn't imagine he had the skills he needed to survive. I was pretty sure he had been in our backyard but he woulnd't come when we called. My Dad got me a humane trap which I put out with food inside. It worked that night. We caught him...a lot thinner and hopefully a little smarter. :)
I think some of the local humane societies have the traps that you can borrow if you decide to go that route.
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Tracy and Wendy,
Thanks for the reassurances that maybe I just need "to go with it". Like I said in my original post, I really don't want to be making a mountain out of a molehill but I also don't want to be ignoring an issue that needs to be dealt with. I'm going to try and take a look at some of the books that were suggested just to give me an idea of how *I* may be able to help him with this problem. But I think for now I'm going to operate on the premise that it is just a "quirk" that we need to work through and not turn it into a diagnosis that needs treatment.
Thanks for the advice everyone and I'm still open to thoughts and suggestions anyone may have for me.
To me, one big difference between "quirky" and a "diagnosis" is how much the behavior is interfering with the child's life and with the family's life. If it's easy to just work around the behaviour and go about your day....it's a quirk. If it's a major issue that keeps him from enjoying his day to day activities and keeps the family on eggshells has a major impact on everyone...it's more than just a quirk.
I see a lot of kids with quirky behaviors or behaviors that I certainly think are consistent with various diagnoses (ADD, OCD, PDD, etc.), but whose families are not concerned and who are thriving.
I like to joke that everyone in medical school is OCD. I'm not trying to diminish the real problems someone with OCD can have and I hope I haven't offended anyone although I'm sure I have. :) But I do think you can have some of the same symptoms and learn how to work around them or with them. But if you have those symptoms to the point of it impacting your life negatively and the life of your family it's obviously now a problem.
Does that make sense?
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I don't know, but my mother is exactly this way. She drinks a ton of water from plastic bottles and soda in cans. Everytime she comes to visit she puts them all in the trash. We have a recycling bin easily available. I've asked her not even to worry about putting them in the bin but just to leave them on the counter (which is easier than putting in the trash)...she still puts them in the trash and I have to pick them out. She uses an amazing amount of paper products of every kind. We joke about how our trash doubles just by having them here for a weekend. That's not really an exaggeration.
I really don't know why she is this way. I know she grew up pretty poor and she hates anything that smacks of saving money. She won't clip coupons or wait for a sale. She never wants to hear a discussion of money or looking for something cheaper. I think maybe for her recycling falls into the same category.
So, as far as she's concerned I've given up. I just pick out her recycling from the trash and put it in the bin. I try to model being more responsible for my kids (and in front of her...like using dishtowels instead of paper towels to wipe up a mess, etc.) Interestingly (or not all that interestingly but I'll still tell you :)), my Dad is very much the opposite. He is very interested in conservation. He recycles, has a beautiful organic garden and a compost pile, etc.
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Land's End is great. If you've shopped them before you might be surprised by the selection of "nicer" clothing. I don't know that it's "NYC style" :) but I've gotten a lot of very nice clothes there for work. The best thing about Land's End is their great return policy. You can return anything anytime. I have had a couple of things where the zipper broke or something after only a few times wearing it and I returned it for a full refund no problem (and when it's a problem like that they often also don't charge shipping for returns). They have an overstock selection that has great deals as well.
I've also found some fun things at Target, which has greatly expanded their plus size section. They aren't really classic clothes but do have some more fun options.
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Thanks for all the replies! You've all been very helpful.
I think I'm going to do the PM1A but do it slow. I have other resources for review and games and stuff. Ds likes Math a lot, we mostly did the EB by his request, so I don't think I'll be pushing him too much. I appreciate the advice about taking the time to get the math facts down.
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Thanks Karen! That's very helpful.
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He'll be 5 in the fall....
I guess to me the end of EB seems to be more advanced topics than the beginning of 1A. Does that make sense?
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Last year I used Singapore EB with ds. He loved it and we got about midway through 2B. I stopped just to take a break for the summer, not because it was too difficult or he didn't like it.
In thinking about starting up for this year I'm thinking it might make more sense to start with Singapore 1A instead of going back and finishing the last of the Earlybird book. It looks like the beginning of 1A is more of a review than the EB book would be for him.
Any reason I shouldn't do this?
Looking ahead in the Singapore books I do realize that we'll go much slower through 1A and 1B than we did the Earlybird books. That's fine. I may even use the sections in the EB book as review when we get back to that topic if we need it.
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We have Egermeir's Story Bible. http://www.amazon.com/Bible-Story-Book/dp/B000LC2S9S/ref=sr_1_2?ie=UTF8&s=books&qid=1219259817&sr=1-2I haven't used it much but it looks good. I've also heard good things about the Children's Story Bible by Catherine Vos. http://www.amazon.com/Childs-Story-Bible-Catherine-Vos/dp/0802850111/ref=sr_1_4?ie=UTF8&s=books&qid=1219259672&sr=1-4 Ds and I both really enjoyed The Jesus Storybook Bible. http://www.amazon.com/Jesus-Storybook-Bible-Every-Whispers/dp/0310708257. That ones does call dumb it down a little, for example the disciples are "friends" but overall it's good.
I also like the ABC Bible Verses and Big Truths for Little Kids books that Melissa posted.
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I didn't answer the poll because it was hard to know who was immediate family. I spend a different amount on my kids than on my husband than on my SIL or my Mom.
But in response to your situation...for other adults in the family we typically spend about $50. Which I think is on the high end. I hope to spend less this year.
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Well...I'm somewhat biased. :) One thing that I think is a large part of the problem is:
http://blogs.webmd.com/mad-about-medicine/2007/08/ceo-compensation-who-said-healthcare-is.html.
The links lists some of the CEO's salaries for health insurance companies. I know the argument that CEOs make a lot because you want to attract the best, etc. But I don't really see how health insurance companies are doing such innovative or exciting things to warrant these kinds of salaries for their top executives. If you do a search you can find a lot of other sources...and also see that the other top execs also make a lot. (ETA: I know this source is probably biased since it's webmd. I did find a lot of the same info on other sites like Forbes.com but this was the best concise list and easiest to copy the link for.)
Hopefully, I'm not offending anyone here who works for an insurance company. I don't think they are all bad. But by nature they are not about providing the best health care. They are about making more money for their company.
I'm not sure I have a great answer for this...in all honesty I'm not sure there is an answer. I started medical school in 1993 and since then I've been hearing how the health care system is broken and heard various ideas for fixing it. I would like to be hopeful, but in reality I'm pretty pessimistic that the system as a whole will ever change.
One reason is that as a whole in this country we believe passionately in everybody having a right to all healthcare. We believe passionately in people's right to choose their own health care. In this day and age we are able to provide more and more care, and we are not having the larger conversations about if it's always appropriate for that care to be given. Everyone thinks that they deserve the best care. And everyone does deserve it. The problem is that it's impossible for society to pay for the best healthcare for everyone.
We also more and more live in a society where people trust experts more than themselves. (NOT the people on this board :lol: but in general I think this is true.) I see so many kids for issues where I wonder why the parent didn't call their own mother or ask their neighbor or friends. I think our society is more mobile, more isolated and more trusting of "experts." Yes, people bring in kids to have their tics removed. And wax cleaned from their ears. And splinters removed. And, yes it costs them.
And finally, I do think that malpractice and the threat of lawsuits are a huge part of the problem. Yes, bad doctors should be punished. Part of the reason that I don't see a way out of changing the system is that I don't see a way to decrease the general litiginous nature of society in general. (Please don't flame me if you've had a personal bad experience....I know bad docs exist, I know people have valid complaints.) BUT, malpractice costs are staggering. I know we've added some fees for things we used to do for free because of needing to cover malpractice. Because of our more mobile society, fewer and fewer people know their docs for a long time or know their doc as someone in the community. Fewer and fewer people truly have relationships with their doctor. I think that makes a difference. You are less likely to sue about something that might not be true malpractice if you know your doctor as a neighbor, or a fellow church member or whatever. My SIL (an ER doctor) was sued (and subsequently found not guilty). The whole process for her was devestating financially and emotionally. It dragged on for years. There has to be a better way....but I'm not sure what it is.
Editing to add a few more thoughts...(so much for my "finally" above)
Many people suggested programs that pay for docs loans or education so that docs can practice in an underserved area. Those are good progams and do exist. The problem for many of them is that you have to make a commitment at the beginning of med school to do only primary care. I wasn't personally willing to do that not knowing what I might find to be my calling. It might make sense to expand those programs...after all underserved areas or free hospitals do need neurologist and cardiologist and surgeons too.
Another issue that not many people know about is that docs are basically paid to "do" not to "think". If I see a patient for something like a behavioral consult and spend 90 minutes discussing behaviour and development and how I think the patient has autism and what that means and treatment options...I will make the same amount as if I remove a splinter or do a simple drainage of a boil. That's the way the insurances reimburse (which is all based on a percentage of what Medicare/Medicaid reimburse). Therefore, it definitely increases the incentive for docs to see more patients quickly and to do more procedures. Hopefully, most docs aren't thinking "hmmm....if I do this I'll make x instead of y" as they see individual patients, but it has been part of what has led to shorter and shorter appointments and more patients crammed into the day.
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I get a little stressed when I see my GP in Kroger!!! She is not supposed to be in Kroger, she is to stay in her office or her exam rooms and not come out to places where I might be.
:lol: I see that expression on kids' faces when I run into them out of the office. Sort of....wait a second, they let you out? At least you probably aren't like the mom who cornered me at the salad bar in Whole Foods to discuss their darling kiddo's constipation (yes it did happen) or expect me to remember every aspect of your child's medical history when I run into you with my own children at the park. :D
My dh isn't a doc, but I am. I'm a pediatrician so it isn't really an issue for him to come to me. But I would say that there have been things that I tried to advise him on (allergies, eczema) and he wouldn't take my advice so I finally made him see a "real" doctor. They gave him the exact same advice which suddenly he found really helpful. ;)
I do take my kids to another doc in my practice. I just like having someone else look at them and not being fully responsible for making medical decisions for them. At the same time I am very aware of how lucky I am to have the ease of being able to take care of them if I need to. Ds has asthma and I have treated him myself and I'm glad I have the skills and knowledge I do. But I also took him to a pulmonologist just to reassure myself. I find that for me when treating a family member I'm always walking the line between over-treating and under-treating. I'm wondering "Am I only doing this because he's my son? Would I do the same thing if it was someone else's child?" I think so far my decisions have been good but it's been helpful to me to have another doc agreeing with me.
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Hmmm...I have to admit I'm totally clueless about what goes into moderating a board.
I guess I would still say I would keep the political threads....but I wouldn't blame the moderators if they do ban them. I can see how people who are trying to run a thread about classical education would get really tired of dealing with all the other stuff that goes along with running this board.
And, as someone else said earlier...thank you to Susan and the others who run the boards. (See, I'm so clueless I'm not even sure what the terms should be..."run" the boards? own the boards? moderate the boards?) Whatever you call it is such a service and many of us do really appreciate it.
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Also, I've heard a lot of people suggest Explode the Code. Is it the same as Ord. Parent's as far as set up?
They are easy to use together, if that's what you mean. ETC has three primers (Go for the Code, Get Ready and Get Set...something like that). They teach the consonaut sounds. Then ETC book 1 starts with Vowels and CVC blends. It doesn't go in the exact order of OPGTR but it's easy to adjust or just use them to review each other. ETC is pretty slow (a lot of pages on one blend) so it can be a good review.
I have to say we had mixed success with ETC. Ds liked it at first but then got bored with it. But I think that was more about me pushing him when he wasn't ready than the program itself. :001_smile:
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Don't even try to tell me Dyson vacuums are better than Mieles!:boxing_smiley:) The heart and soul of a valuable community is the ability to discuss an array of subjects ~ or not, if you so choose.
Ok, I'm considering giving you negative rep....are you dissing my Dyson? ;)
I voted not to ban political topics. I never participate in them because I don't really enjoy it, especially in this kind of forum. But I see their value and I think it's very easy to avoid them. I just don't click on the thread if I'm not interested.
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What was wrong with OPG?
My son HATED it but I found that he couldn't take looking at the page. Too much stuff on it and he got overwhelmed. He did much bettter if I wrote out the words and sentences for the lessons on a white board.
It still might not work for you, but you might be able to use it and save the $ of getting a new program.
Explode the Code also might be a good option for a visual learner.
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We haven't watched much, but we're also in the no TV camp. And I'm with the people who hate NBC club. I was excited that they were offering online coverage only to find out that you can only watch most of the online coverage if you have paid cable. When you go to watch you have to select your paid cable company. Otherwise you can watch some highlights, but not nearly as much as they are making it seem is available with their advertising.
Other than that...I love the Olympics. Yes, it's probably true that many of the athletes from bigger, wealthier countries have an unfair advantage. But I'm a sucker for all the stories and I do think it highlights people who have worked very hard and achieved a lot. Sure, there is a lot that's wrong with the Olympics and especially the issues with China this year...but I still love it and almost considered getting TV for it this year. Almost. :)
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Play-Doh
My son loves to draw, color, etc...although my first did not like it so much at this age.
Anything with water. Totally happy pouring water back and forth between two containers. Or using a spray bottle to "wash" things.
Reading/Looking at books.
Gloria Steinem on Sarah Palin
in General Education Discussion Board
Posted
My own personal views are closer to Palin than Steinem, although I definitely disagree with Palin on some things. I think the problem with this article is that it implies that Palin is the "wrong woman" because of her beliefs. It's fine to say, hey I disagree with her stance on abortion or gays or guns or the environment or whatever but I felt like this article was more saying that in order for a woman to be worthy of a VP nomination her views had to more in line with what Steinem feels a woman should believe. I acknowledge what Steinem and others in her generation did for women and for easing my own path to a career, etc. But I get tired of feminists either saying or implying that somehow women who don't fit their idea of what women should do and believe are somehow lesser....isn't it possible that Sarah Palin has her own mind and her own beliefs and isn't just a pawn or puppet of the vast right wing conspiracy? Instead of "Wrong Woman, Wrong Message"...I think just "Wrong Message" should be enough.
I was briefly in a women's studies program in college and I finally left the program. I left for multiple reasons but one of the main reasons was that I just got tired of always being the only person in the room who didn't swallow the Kool-Aid. I was tired of comments like "well, clearly since we're all pro-choice" and then having to raise my hand and explain yet again that no, we weren't.
Anyway...that's just my soap-box, stepping down now. :001_huh:
I found this quote interesting, but I couldn't find anything to substatiate it in my brief researching on the Internet. Is this really a campaign platform of Obama's? I would be impressed for that and fully agree with it...