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Posts posted by Alice

  1. On 7/15/2021 at 2:43 PM, pitterpatter said:

    Curious to know what you thought of these? They are relatively close to us. And, where did your DS ultimately decide to go?


    We liked them both a lot. He ended up picking Centre. In the end it came down to Centre and College of Wooster and it was a really hard decision that took up to the very last minute to make. 

    I liked Hendrix a lot. It felt more quirky that the other places we visited. It’s really small. Every student mentioned the size as both a positive and a negative. We heard a lot of “by senior year you know everyone which is both good and bad”. I thought the campus was very pretty but the immediate surrounding area seemed economically disadvantaged. I wondered if that would create some town/gown tension but when I asked people they kind of avoided the question. They talked about going into the downtown to do stuff (which is not the area it’s located in). The quirkiness seemed a plus to me. Everyone and I mean everyone talked about the freshman dance competition between dorms as a highlight. There is also a specific group that is dedicated to providing more introverted alternatives to big campus wide events. So they said that there is always a game night or something like that going on if you aren’t into the big things. That was kind of nice that it was intentional. 

    I had thought that ds was deciding between Centre and Hendrix at the end (he was very close-mouthed about his process) but it turned out he knew pretty much after visting that Hendrix wasn’t right for him. It was one of those gut feeling things...which is weird because he is not a gut feeling kind of guy.  The price was definitely right and he liked the swim coach a lot. He is planning on majoring in Math and that might have swayed him, the department is very tiny. But I think it was mostly gut. 

    Centre feels more traditional collegiate in the way it look and the people we met. It feels more conservative. It’s in a cute small town. I think the main thing that swayed him to choose it over Wooster was one Math professor there that he talked to a lot and who was apparently impressive. Everything else about the two schools was pretty similar and he really liked them both. He also was impressed that every alumnae from Centre that he talked to was incredibly enthusiastic. They sell the school well. Other things we liked: they have a strong emphasis on study abroad- their dining hall is decorated with flags from every country that students have studied in. It’s a lot. It’s also small but not quite as small as Hendrix. Centre does have a Greek system, Hendrix does not. 


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  2. I did not put PE or health but mostly because we didn’t do these in any way I would consider a class. 

    On the other hand I did put Driver’s Ed. Most of the schools around here give a 1/2 credit for Driver’s Ed and our state requires what to me is a ginormous amount of time doing Driver’s Ed. So it seemed worth a credit. He got 1/2 credit for Personal Finance the same year. 

    Oldest had 6 credits a year, which is less than a lot of people here. He had 5 credits a year that were solidly academic (Math, Science, English, History, Foreign Language). And then most of his electives were more on the academic side (Comp Science, Economics, extra Math). That represented his interests. He had no Art/Music/PE. He is a competitive swimmer so that went under extracurriculars and he plays piano which we also chose to put under extracurriculars. 

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  3. 7 hours ago, Pam in CT said:

    ME TOO, that is awesome, I've never heard of anyone else!

    Me Three! It seemed super obvious to me. 

    OP, your boys sound like mine in that mine like to take completely illogical weird stances about things and passionately argue for them. It’s kind of how they bond. To me, it sounds like your kids aren’t really using gender stereotyping to exclude people or to stop from doing things they enjoy. I’d probably roll my eyes and tell them they are weird and enjoy their weirdness. 

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  4. I saw this post yesterday but didn’t have time to respond. And now...I don’t want to wade through all the responses. So responding just to @Quill OP....I had a very similar situation in our family. Our nephew told the family when he was in college that he identified as a man. He went on to have top surgery and has now also done hormone therapy. He has also married a woman. It was not easy for everyone in the family and I think the best thing was for people to be honest about it and loving. I’m not saying a “love the sinner  hate the sin” kind of attitude but just an acknowledgment that it is hard. Even if the person has known this about themselves their whole life, that doesn’t mean other people have and won’t find it difficult to adjust. Our nephew was at a women’s college when he let us know he was trans and he was the flower girl in our wedding. Family photo albums all have photos of him as girl. We had to explain that to our kids when they were quite young. (he transitioned about 10 years ago).  I’m not at all saying that the difficulties for the relatives are equivalent to or as important as the feelings/struggles of the person...but I also think it’s a mistake when people act like you should just say “oh, ok, great, I accept you” and ignore that you might have feelings or that you are a bad person for feeling grief for the loss of the person you knew. 

    The honest but loving kind of responses we saw...my husband basically said “I don’t really know much about all of this but I know I’m your uncle and I love you.” We made mistakes in pronouns all the time for the first few years. He was very understanding about that. My SIL (not his mom but dh’s other sister) is very religious (as are my husband and I) and felt strongly against him having the top surgery. She is also a doctor and I think felt similarly that it was just wrong to do to a healthy body. In their family, there is a culture of her giving medical advice and she actually told him that she was opposed which caused a rift between them but then she also volunteered to care for him after the surgery, using her medical expertise. She did that and he later said that it was a very tangible way that she showed him love especially when he knew she didn’t agree with the surgery. 

    So,I’d say, it’s ok to feel grief. Only you know the individual and how honest you can be with them. Our situation was different in that our nephew was older. But I’d say find someone that you can be honest with and talk about it. Let yourself feel grief and confusion and also all the love I’m sure you have for this person in your life. It doesn’t have to be all or nothing. 


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  5. I did the FabFitFun box last year after our house fire. It was kind of a pandemic/house fire trauma thing. We didn’t have much stuff where we were staying so it seemed like a fun thing to do and I kept hearing about it on various podcasts I listen to. It was fun to get a package...it feels more like a gift when it’s a surprise. But I ended up being very underwhelmed by what was in there. I wasn’t sorry I did it in the situation and it took away the curiosity but I won’t do it again. 

    I might do it if it’s a company that I knew well and liked their products. Or I would do it for a bookstore. 

    Basically, I’d say do it if you are looking at it as a fun present to yourself. But if you really are looking to get specific things or are hoping for it to be a great deal, don’t do it. 

  6. I had it done on one eye and one the other had to have surgery for thyroid related exophthalmos (eye bulging). I did the both at the same time. 

    Both were covered, they did the test that Bambam describes. The funny thing was that at first I passed it so it wasn’t going to be covered but then the eye doctor looked at me and said “Do it again and stop raising your forehead.” I hadn’t realized that I was basically walking around all the time using my forehead muscles to keep my eye open wider. When I relaxed my forehead I failed. 🙂

    The surgery wasn’t that bad, especially on the eye that just had the ptosis. The other eye was a more involved surgery and was a little uncomfortable. Afterwards, I was surprised that I had to basically have ice packs on them and lie down for a full 24 hours. I could get up briefly to eat or go to the bathroom but he wanted me to mostly stay reclined with the ice packs. It wasn’t horrible, just boring since it was both eyes and I couldn’t see so couldn’t read or watch a movie or something. He hadn’t told me that ahead of time so I wasn’t prepared with something like audiobooks. I ended up listening to NPR all day.

    Afterwards, my eyes were pretty bruised appearing for about a week. The surgeon had said something like “oh, sure you can go back to work the next day”. Which was true but I looked pretty shocking. And as a pediatrician, I had to do a lot of explaining to my patients about why I looked scary. I probably should have expected that but I didn’t and I think surgeons often downplay recovery. 

    I was glad I did it. My doc was an opthomologist and plastic surgeon...he was a specialist in the thryoid condition which is why I went to him. 

    I will say that now the ptosis is coming back. It’s been about 10 years since the surgery and I’ll probably have it again. I think it’s fairly common to have it again, but they don’t always tell  you that either. 

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  7. I read this yesterday and then for some reason kept thinking about it. 

    It struck me that this could look very different if told from a different perspective...imagine someone posting this story...”My daughter has been on a swim team for 8 years and very close to her best friend. About 6 months ago, another girl got moved up to their practice group and BF started really getting close to her as well. My daughter got sad when BF hung out with the other girl and not her and she told her BF and now the BF has started to hide when she goes out with the other girl. They do things together that they know my daughter wouldn’t like. They lie about whether or not they have plans so they don’t have to include her. BF’s family seems to support the friendship with the other girl more...we think it’s because she is a Christian and we are athiests. They invited the other girl to a church event and left my daughter out even though she would have liked to go and wouldn’t have cared that it was a church event.  My daughter is really sad and has tried to talk to her friend. Admittedly, my daughter probably put too much of a guilt trip on BF at first and it caused issues. She isn’t perfect and probably is too jealous but she is just sad. She’s tried to apologize but is hasn’t worked. What should she do?” I think people would have responded very differently to that story. Sometimes it’s just looking at things from a different perspective.

    I’m not saying that is the actual situation, and I don’t think your daughter and her friend are doing anything wrong. I just think there is a lot of drama among 14 year old girls. Daughter’s friend said “other girl” would “punish” her if she doesn’t get invited or knows about daughter and friend hanging out. But what does “punish” really mean. Maybe it just means the other girl expresses that she is sad and friend feels guilty and interprets that as punishment. People on this thread seemed to get really triggered by the word punish but we don’t really know what that means. 

    Of course your daughter and the friend can hang out alone...but I also think it’s kind of normal for someone who has had a BF on a team to feel jealous and sad if that BF seems to want to do a lot of other stuff with someone else. And stuff that she isn’t interested in. I’m someone who has a hard time making friends and I know as an adult I’ve felt sad when it seems like people who are friends are moving on. I’m an adult and I deal with it, but as a 14 year old I might have had a harder time with that. 

    It seems like there is some judgment around the other girl. Perhaps that is fair. But it also could be that she is sensing that and acting out even more. 


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  8. I may have missed this, but could it be practical but not educational? Like is there something he needs that could also be sort of present worthy. I get the idea that giving him other hobbies is just giving him the message that he’s not who she wants him to be. But could he use something like a really good winter coat or a new backpack? I also think the idea of something like a laptop or ipad or tablet could be good. I know he’s young and you may not want him to have that. 

    Or is there something that you know you need to buy for school and you could ask  your Mom to buy it “for” him and then you use the money you would have spent and buy something super awesome you know he will actually like? 

    If he likes Math (which I’m guessing he does by you saying he signed up by choice for a math camp) this website has tons of funny and fun Math things...https://mathsgear.co.uk/pages/about-us. There are a bunch of books on the site that my Math-loving son has loved. Another set of books both my boys like are the books by Randall Monroe...he has one called What If, one called Thing Explainer and one called How To. The What If book has absurd scientific questions that Monroe answers in a scientifically accurate but ridiculous way. 

  9. 1 hour ago, BaseballandHockey said:

    He has not yet shown that interest, and my experience is that if an adult, especially one where he has a rocky relationship like Gma, decides he should be interested in something he'll become less interested in it.

    I know that sounds really weird,  He would be the perfect kid for unschooling, if it was a fit for our family.  

    I totally get this. My middle son is like this. I say that teaching him has been like dealing with a shy woodland animal...”Oh, nothing to look at here, I”m just leaving this book about this thing you might like over here on the coffee table....totally not school...no worries...” He’s also a kid who values his freetime strongly and really hates lessons or anything that might cut into that. 

    For gifts...magazine subscriptions? Lego has a whole educational section...I know people have already suggested that but the education website has lots of ideas and maybe would make her feel like it was educational. 

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  10. Oldest:

    9th- Ancients using SWB’s History of Ancient World

    10th- 20th Century World History 

    11th- Government, started with Thinkwell and hated it so used a variety of sources 

    12th- Global Perspectives Studies from Simplify Homeschool (Africa, Middle East, India and East Asia); also did AP Macro and Micro Econ from PA Homeschoolers 


    2nd son:

    9th-  Global Perspectives (same as his brother); Psychology 

    10th- planning to design my own Humanities course that will be called The American Story- he’s planning on traveling a lot next year with his brother who is doing a gap year 

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  11. I would say yes. I think the risk in this situation with her being vaccinated and everyone in your family being vaccinated is really low. The vaccine is not 100% but it is almost that against severe disease and transmission. So even in a worse case scenario where she contacted Covid, the risk of severe disease for her or anyone else in your family is tiny. It's not zero, but is probably pretty close. 

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  12. My oldest did the WTMA Statistics course this year. It's one semester. He is likely to be a Math major and found it really easy. But enjoyable. He liked the teacher and had a lot of fun doing the required project. He's taking Intro to Number Theory this semester from the same teacher and really enjoying it as well. They are both light options for high school math (Ds was also doing Calc this year and these were electives) but if she has already taken through Calc and just wants something for the transcript they might be options. 

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  13. Yay! I can finally post. DS decided on Centre College in Danville, Kentucky. It came down to that and another college and he spent all day going back and forth before finally making the decision. Then today, he got an email from the other college saying they had “found” an extra $3000 a year scholarship for him! It didn’t change anything but was interesting to see them do that, especially after he had sent in the form declining. The decision wasn’t financially based in the end and Centre is still cheaper than the other one as they gave him a nice merit package as well. 


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  14. Jousting Armadillos was not a good fit for us, but I know others have liked it. IMO, it’s probably better for strong writers/verbal kids than kids who love math. It has a lot of writing and reflection. It also is geared towards being used in a classroom so you have to adapt that. And I was ttoally frustrated by the number of mistakes in the solutions guide. I used it fairly early on so those might have been corrected but it was completely frustrating. So much so, that I threw the book across the room on more than one occasion. 


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  15. 17 year old graduating senior is working as a pool manager and swim coach. And swimming a lot himself. And planning his gap year. He also has the goal to work through a Beast Academy book 😄. He's a Math guy and likely Math major and he just thinks it will be fun. He never got to do BA because it came out at a level below where he was at the time. But he's used AOPS and loves it. He also wants to get an AOPS competition math book and work through the problems. 

    14 year old rising sophomore will spend a lot of time at the pool. Hopefully he can work at the pool. He'll swim on the summer team. 

    11 year old rising 7th grader will dive and swim at the summer pool. And she has a few weeks of summer dance lined up. 

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  16. I know you said you looked at Land's End and wasn't impressed but I'm going to put another plug in for them. I have two pair of the Swim leggings and they are awesome. Super comfortable, even for lap swimming. I have worn them in the ocean and in the pool. I am plus-sized but also I have super fair skin and so it's just easier for me to have more covered when I'm in the sun all day. I usually wear a suit, the leggings and a swim shirt. The swim shirts are long-sleeved and comfy and provide good UV protection. They also dry quickly once you are out of the water. 

    Also, you can pick bra sizes still...it's just not available for everything. But I just ordered two new suits from them and I was able to pick the cup size. 

  17. Hugs. This sounds really hard. My SIL has cancer and has been needing round the clock 24 hour care for the past 4 months which has been mostly done by my dh and his two siblings, with her four adult kids coming in to help when they can (they are not local). It is really hard being the spouse supporting the caregiver spouse, I get it. 

    It sounds to me like mostly she is lonely and that the nightly visits are not enough for her as far as loneliness and possibly the anxiety of being alone. It sounds to me from your earlier post like the planned visits (eye drops, groceries, trash) aren't as much a burden on you all as the extra calls and visits. 

    Could you schedule a morning visit daily? But make it a rotating schedule, not necessarily always your dh? Make it clear that it will be for an hour or something like that. But then if she calls looking for someone, the answer would be a gentle "remember, so and so will be there in an hour" instead of either having to say no and feel guilty or yes and have it be an issue with work. 

    It sounds like she just wants someone physically there but doesn't always need something specific. Could you have her come to your house for the morning hours a certain number of days a week? That might give her something to look forward to. 

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  18. 4 hours ago, Kristini2 said:

    You are right. She is very self-motivated, and until this year she has had a lot of leeway in her education. I’m just finding it hard to reconcile the more interest led learning with the fact that colleges are going to want four years of this, three years of that, etc. I also want to make sure she is well prepared for college, since that is her plan B and plan B is a lot more likely than plan A in her case. I’m reading through a lot of older threads on non-traditional high school learning and id love peoples’s ideas on how to make it happen.


    I don't know if this will be helpful or not and I don't really know if it is good advice yet because my non-traditional kid is my 14 year old who is finishing up 9th grade. Right now I'm letting him follow his interests within a subject. For example, we did psychology this year but he did not want to use a textbook or follow a curriculum. He's listened to lots of podcasts, watched lots of videos, read books (some assigned, some on his own). We used Crash Course to kind of make sure to discuss certain topics and as a very bare bones scaffolding. Through some of those readings as well as another assignment that morphed into a philosophical essay he discovered an interest in philosophy and has been reading all over the place. He is reading a ton of stuff he would have probably balked at if assigned. I'm keeping track of what he is doing and may eventually call it a course or an independent study. 

    I look at some of the skills he will need for college as separate. He needs to learn to manage time, write an essay, follow a syllabus, etc. But I don't feel like he has to do that for every single subject and I think we can take four years to get there. So he has a few online classes and those are the ones I have him follow deadlines and a schedule. Stuff for me I allow to be more flexible and go with what he is interested in. 

    But like I said...I have no idea what colleges will think when it comes to making him a transcript. It just became really evident early on that for him to enjoy high school we were going to have to be non-traditional. And I think we are going to have to emphasize that his choice to homeschool allowed for a lot of self-guided learning and embrace the weird and quirky nature of his choices. It's very different than my other two, but hopefully it will work out. 

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  19. Obviously, as others have mentioned, there are lots of variable depending on the particular schools and things like in state status. That said. I know people who have done both. Ds is doing a gap year and did the apply and then defer method. Mainly because we felt like it wouldn’t really be a gap year if he had to worry about college applications. We wanted it to be a true break. I know a few others who have done a gap year or “super senior year” (which I don’t totally understand how they put it on transcripts) and applied after graduation.  It worked fine for the people I know. I think they all applied very early, like the summer right after graduation so that recommendations were less of an issue. And you have to make sure not to take classes at a college during the gap year and risk being seen as a transfer instead of a freshman. 

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  20. I cannot wait to post on the thread. My ds is still deciding between 4(!) places and driving me nuts. He hates to make decisions and they are all good options and somewhat similar so I really have no idea which one he will pick. 😜

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  21. 1 hour ago, Dmmetler said:

    A few got applied to because of mailings, mostly because they offered a free application last summer when my teen was bored, but none of those even got to the "make an effort to visit" list. I can't remember if Agnes Scott was first contacted by mail or at a local college fair, but I know they made it to the "will apply" list due to meeting 1-1 with the regional admissions rep when she was in town in fall of 2019 to do visits at a couple of the high schools here, and called to see if L wanted to meet up and ask any questions. So, we met her at Starbucks. 


    And yes, there were some real mismatches-a lot of schools seemed to think my kid wanted to be an engineer. 


    For awhile my son kept getting mailings from several Fashion Institutes which at least provided his younger sister with a good laugh. (Not that fashion is inherently bad or not for guys but he checked off Math or Physics as potential majors and is the least fashionable person you could imagine. Plus he hates art and design.)

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  22. I also forgot to mention earlier that the most impressive swag ds got was from Centre. He got a packet of cards that were super personalized. It's hard to explain but each card had some aspect about Centre on it but had things like his name, his hometown, his interests, etc on them. He also got a poster that was super personalized with his name on it and other specifics like his hometown. 

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