Heather in Neverland
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Posts posted by Heather in Neverland
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You will need to get thicker skin because people will say a lot of things that sound rude or inconsiderate and USUALLY they aren't trying to be rude or inconsiderate.
My biggest pet peeve is when they ask these questions in front of my adopted children. I really don't mind answering questions. When I chose to have an unusual family (three kids, three different ethnicities) I knew we would stand out and people would stare, wonder, ask questions, etc. So usually I am ok with it.
But please don't ask "is he yours?" IN FRONT OF my 9yo ds. I am happy to answer you privately.
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Back in the 80's when I was a teenager with a big spiral perm full of Aqua Net hairspray...
I SET MY OWN HAIR ON FIRE DURING A CANDLELIT CHRISTMAS EVE SERVICE.
No lie.
We were all holding these candles then the pastor asked us to bow our heads and pray and I did...
Hairspray really is flammable!!
I fried the whole front of my hair and ruined the entire Christmas service with my hysteria.
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My mother was raised in an uber-conservative religious family in the backwoods of Alabama. Her father was a preacher. Two of her brothers are preachers. She wasn't allowed to wear make-up or jewelry or pants. Etc. etc. etc. It was as strict an upbringing as you can imagine.
She got pregnant at 19 years old the first time she had sex. She and the guy loved each other and wanted to get married but he was 26yo and divorced already. Remarriage is considered a sin in her denomination and her parents forbade her to marry him. In fact, her pregnancy outside of wedlock was such a shame on the family name that they packed her up in the middle of the night and sent her to live with her sister in Michigan. They refused to tell her boyfriend where she was (and threatened to shoot him if he ever came on their property again) and they told her that he had already moved on with a new girlfriend (a lie).
She was young, pregnant, alone, jobless, no insurance, and broke in a whole new culture and a whole new state. She had shamed her family, could no longer show her face in her hometown, and lost the man she loved.
A classic case for someone to get an abortion.
Lucky for me, she chose life.
Two of my children were adopted from women in similar situations. I choose life.
There are no unwanted children. Only unfound parents.
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Yes, one of the most important things ever... Our daughter's permanent resident card from USCIS never arrived in our home though they swear they sent it. We checked with the mailman, the post office, our neighbors. We argued with USCIS. In the end nothing could be done except to start the entire process all over again complete with a year long wait and thousands in fees and travel expenses.
I hate bureaucracy.
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These yoga classes have been the most gentle, non-threatening environment I have ever been in for exercise. I have taken Zumba and hip hop exercise classes, spinning, etc. and this is the first time I didn't feel in competition with the other people in the class. We are all in our own little world, in the moment. I have a fantastic instructor who is warm and kind and gentle. I look forward to adding more yoga by video to my life too!
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My first class was kundalini yoga and my second one was iyengar. I know virtually nothing about yoga but those were the names of the two classes. I liked them both though they were very different. The kundalini made me feel better than a full body massage! The iyengar was more challenging physically but made me feel strong.
I am going to check out that site. Can I ask a few questions?
How often can/should I do yoga each week? Those are the only two classes I can go to but if I could follow the others online, how often should I do it? And there are a million different ones to choose from. Where should I start? I saw one called morning yoga and was 20 minutes long. Is that daily?
I don't want to overdo it but twice a week doesn't seem like enough.
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Ok, maybe I'm rushing things ... I mean I have only had two classes... But I loved them! Seriously. And I generally dislike exercising. I've tried jogging and walking and various aerobic classes, etc. But this is my first try with yoga and I can't believe how much I like it.
I am definitely a newbie and will have to work long and hard towards holding some of those poses. I also cannot seem to clear my mind completely and relax yet but I am enjoying all the breathing exercises that go with it. They calm me.
Tell me it will last and that I will continue liking it and stick with something for once.
So who loves yoga and why?
P.s. Is it considered bad form to send and receive texts messages during yoga class? There was a guy tonight in my class who was texting in between each exercise. I thought it was rude but I tend to be a fuddy-duddy about those things.
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My family in Michigan is buried under snow and freezing their tails off. I really, really, really do not miss that at all.
It is 90 and sunny here today. :)
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I assume they are in Korean with English subtitles? I've never heard of these series but now I'm intrigued.
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Universal Studios is our favorite. We like it more than Disney World. :)
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This website will give you a good idea of it: http://www.bie.org/about/what_is_pbl
When done well, PBL is a wonderful tool. But it is a tool only. It is not a magic pill. Many schools are going to all PBL and I think that is misguided. Good education has a toolbox full of different tools for different kids and different subjects. Not just one trick.
Having said that, I think PBL can be really great and I have seen it done really, really well.
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When my ds starts dating he will most definitely pay for the dates. That's just how we roll in this family.
Because we live in a foreign country where he cannot get a driver's license or a work permit to have a job, he will not be dating until after he graduates. No license+ no car+ no job= no dating. Easy Peasy.
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A dentist appointment for this tooth that has been hurting for WEEKS.
I am terrified of dental work. :(
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There is no concept of conversion in Hinduism. A person can be born a Hindu but cannot become - and one of the requirements to be a Hindu is to be born in India. Hindus who leave the country (or cross the seas) are no longer Hindu. Something not many Hindus living in other countries want to think about :-) Especially the Gita-thumping religious fanatics :-) :-)
One of the reasons Mahatma Gandhi's father didn't want him to go to England for further studies was because he Gandhi would no longer be Hindu if he crossed the shores of India.
I think the 2 million Hindus living and worshipping (and born) here in Malaysia would be surprised to hear that they are not really Hindu.
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Started reading:
The Last Time I Saw Paris by Lynn Sheene
Still reading:
The Rage Against God: How Atheism Led Me to Faith by Peter Hitchens
Finished reading:
1. The Curiosity by Stephen Kiernan
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My dh got me an iPad mini and I LOVE it.
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I but the Classico brand and the flavor called "spicy tomato and pesto."
It is so good it doesn't need any additions!
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My boys are really starting to get into Lego and I have some questions.
1. How do your kids, especially younger, "play" with their Legos? What I mean is, if they get a new set, say a beach house, do they build it and actually play with it? Or just build and display? Something else?
They get a set, build it quickly, play for a few days, then delight in destroying it and using it to build other things.
2. How do you store your Legos? I know there are going to be as many answers to this question as there are responders, but I'm looking for general ideas. My hurdle seems to be a strong urge to keep sets together with their instructions. My kids have a huge Rubbermaid tote of Legos that my MIL saved from DH's childhood. So far, those just stay in the tote in a disorganized mess and the kids dump them out and play. Recently, though, they have started to get new sets. So far I have been keeping each set in a ziplock bag, separate from each other, because I feel like my boys will want to build them again and would be frustrated if they couldn't find the required pieces.
I use smallish Rubbermaid bins. If it is too large they can't find what they need and dump them everywhere. Stacks of smaller bins solved that for me. My kids have never rebuilt a set.
3. Do your kids rebuild a set after the initial build? What if something is lost?
No. After the initial build the set goes into the free play box to be used for other things.
4. How much and at what age did your kids start free building things?
My kids free play with Legos as soon as they are old enough to know not to swallow them.
5. I read somewhere (may have been here) that an elaborate organizational system is pointless unless the kids are motivated to keep it up. My OCD would really like every last piece sorted by size and color, but I know my kids would be of no help in keeping that up. At the same time I cannot stand the thought of just dumping the sets that I spent a lot of money on into the pile.
I let go of that a long time ago. We have several boxes of Legos that are almost all pieces from former sets. I tried an organizing system. Ha! Way too much work.
6. Is the plural of Lego, Legos, or Lego?
Legos! At least that's what we say. :)
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Move. Seriously.
Yep. That's what I did. I loathe cold weather.
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Living in India there is very little waste. When we are done with something it goes to someone who works in our house for their family or children. If they don't want it, it will get taken by the people who do the lawns or collect the trash. SO little actually gets thrown away.
Same here in Malaysia. Everything, from food to clothes to toys to household items, gets passed around until the item is used up or basically disintegrates. If we do not need or want something we pass it on and that person passes it on and so forth.
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1. Minimize by getting rid of all that stuff they don't play with anyways. My kids have a limited amount of toys... Only things they really love and actually play with a lot.
2. They are only allowed to have one thing out at a time and they must put it away before getting something else out. They can drag out all their Legos and play with them but all the Legos get put away before they can move on to another activity. Even my 4yo follows this.
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I have not seen or spoken to my father since my oldest child was a year old. The reasons are numerous. For a long time we just never spoke of my father and my children never really asked. It just didn't occur to them.
As my ds got older he started asking questions and I was truthful with him. I told him my father was not a nice man and he would be a negative presence in our lives so we do not associate with him. End of story.
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My children will absolutely defend themselves and have taken self-defense classes to do so effectively.
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Started reading:
The Rage Against God: How Atheism Led Me to Faith by Peter Hitchens (brother of famous atheist Christopher Hitchens)
Finished reading:
1. The Curiosity by Stephen Kiernan
I also started "The Round House" but I am 57 pages in and I'm bored and slightly depressed by it. Not sure if I will finish it. Next up is "Unwind" by Neal Shusterman. I think. But I also have "Reading Lolita in Tehran" so maybe I will do that one. I'm not sure yet. But I am going on vacation to Singapore in the morning so I will definitely do some reading over the next few days!
How to Respond to "Is He Yours" and other like questions
in The Chat Board
Posted
This is the coolest story ever. I didn't even realize you could adopt embryos. How awesome. Congrats to you and your family!