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Lord, have mercy.
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Rock ON with your bad self Sister! Good for you!! Aw, this just makes me so happy...
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Moose has a scar on his chin from stitches. He was running on pavement with his hands in his pockets, so his chin broke his fall. :svengo: He's actually blessed that all that happened was losing a chunk of skin and getting two stitches. He could've broken a bone. lost a tooth, etc. No boys run without use of their arms around here anymore.
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So my inlaws have a condo on Marathon Key that we've stayed at twice now. My husband loves the keys; I can't get over the heat, personally. (I mean, I *am* born and raised in Michigan.)
We enjoy seeing all the lizards and snails (so long as they stay outside), and even the snakes and alligators. But we haven't seen any palmetto bugs. Trust me, I'd remember THAT. Are they not in the keys?
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Clara, I don't think a girl is ever really *ready* to lose her daddy. :grouphug: Many hugs, dear.
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It sounds like your dd is trying to express her own desire to do more for people and projecting it onto you. Maybe it would satisfy her need if she was able to participate in the meal serving activity all day rather than just a few hours. Giving her some opportunities might make her feel better and keep her from criticizing you. I would try to get her to focus on what she wants to do and not on just complaining. If she feels that passionately about giving to others she might have to cut back on some of her extra curricular time.
Just a thought.
Elise in NC
Elise has a good idea, IMO.
OP, what are dd's future plans? If she's planning on college, then she needs to understand that dropping academics for *every* opportunity to serve isn't a good idea. School is her first job, THEN she can take on other things.
:grouphug: OP, it really does sound like she's guilt tripping you a bit, too. I hope you have time to cool off, and then time to discuss it all with her.
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Just a few quick things...
1) DH was very clear before we got married that he wanted me to work. Full time, part time, at home...didn't matter. He grew up just this side of poor and it really affected him. DH is also going to be out of work for an extensive amount of time with hip surgery at some point in the next few years, and while we are saving in anticipation, he has concerns that it might happen sooner than we expect. If I am working we will be okay financially, but if I were to quit there are no guarantees I would find a position while he was off. This is a big deal to him.
2) we have no childcare expenses right now. He wouldn't mind hiring someone for a few hours so I can sleep, we just haven't found any. I could take them to one of their grandmas, but that brings an entirely different set of problems.
3) DH feels like I just pulled a bait and switch on him, and I understand that. I am totally overwhelmed and can't keep doing this.
Oh medicmom, I really feel for both you and your dh here.
I totally get where he's coming from. But at the same time, you need to explain to him that it's NOT a bait and switch. It's more a matter of 'I had no idea what I was committing to before we actually *had* kids', you know?
I'm not encouraging you to quit your job. While I'm all for moms staying home, I think it's also important to respect the fact that that doesn't work for everyone's marriage. And it's clear that that won't really work for yours, at least right now, based on the agreement you and your dh had before you even got married.
Don't lose hope. I can't remember if you're a Christian or not, but I'll share this. My dh and I both assumed, before marriage, that I'd continue working after having kids. It wasn't really something we discussed much, but we both had professional careers, and having a career was something I was very proud of at the time. Back then, I was a different person, and quitting work to be a stay at home mom just wasn't on my radar.
But then I gave birth, LOL.
What I'm saying is, things change. People, circumstances, thoughts, feelings, ideas; they change. The hard part comes in when one person in a marriage has a big change that the other partner isn't on board with. But I can tell you that if the Lord wants you to stay home, he can change your dh's heart about it. Now, that's different than if you are willing to keep working but just need *sleep*. Sleep is essential for ALL of us, and you and your dh just need to negotiate/figure out something where you both get sleep if you're both going to continue working. But if what's in your heart is that you really want to be home with the kids, and that's what the Lord has for you, then I'd encourage you to be in prayer over it a lot.
:grouphug:
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Well, he'll be the sole provider if you die or are incapacitated because if health problems brought on by severe lack of sleep, right?
I'm not usually like this, at all, but in this situation, here's what I would do:
DH, I love you, but my children are a huge priority in my life, and they need me to be around for a long time and that won't happen if we keep this up. We have 2 options:
1) I stay home with the kids and you bring home the bacon, provide for your family without whining. Aka. Be. A. Man.
2) I file for divorce and take you to the cleaners. I get the house, alimony and child support and stay home with the kids anyways.
And I'm dead serious.
I find this advice to be... unfortunate and inaccurate. You don't seriously think that wives can just decide to divorce their husbands, and then the courts hand them the house, the kids, and enough money from the dh to stay home, do you? That's not how it works. Not to *mention* what divorce does to the children.
OP and her husband have a lot more options than the two you suggest. And both of your options put all the onus on the husband to rectify the situation. That seems rather one sided, especially given the fact that OP is the one who is wanting to stay home now, when she fully admits it was very clear from before marriage that her dh did not want the responsibility of being sole wage earner.
Honestly, I would insist that if you are to continue working, child care must be in the budget for you to sleep for 8 hours. As in 8 hours of actual bedroom time.. so more like 9-10 hours of childcare.
This seems like much more level-headed advice to me. OP, I'd think you should sit down with your dh and negotiate a new schedule that allows for both of you to get adequate sleep. That might mean changing when both of you sleep/who is taking care of the kids, it might mean finding someone else to provide child care for a specific time each three day block, or maybe you guys will find another solution that we can't think of, because we're not in your situation. But I really think that communication is key here. You need to find a time to communicate with your dh about your needs. Not in an attacking way, like "dh you've caused me to be at the end of my rope because I'm exhausted and you need to fix it now!' way, LOL, because then (if he's like *my* dh), he'll just go in to defensive mode and not hear you. But try to approach it from an 'WE have a problem, how can WE fix it, since we're a team' sort of way.
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Thanks for the update Faith. Have you all decided if you're switching hospitals or not?
Keep on staying strong for your parents. I'm holding you in my prayers.
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Yeah, but... I don't like it. It's messing up the mobile version of this forum on my phone. It's been annoying me all day.
I'm ready for the tomatoes to fly... :D
No tomatoes from me Kinsa, that's what I was coming into this thread to say, LOL.
He's working on it. :D
Good to know. :)
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I don't know if I can beat your stories, but I've got one I've been saving for you all. Remember the "perfect" homeschooling neighbor who lived across the street from us after our move a year ago? With a baby in tow, would make meals for people, drive them to the dr, etc? I joked that we had so much in common, she must have been stalking me.
Her dh had a "job opening." Mine took his res over, & that night, the 2 of them googled me, found the boards, & printed 300 pp of conversations here. Delivered them to my mom.
Isn't that cozy?
So anyway, that's why I wasn't here for the following 18mos or so.
Aubrey, I want to know *why* they did that to you.
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I was SO BUMMED when I missed our visit from the meat truck! It was a few years ago at our old house, and I was out when they came. Dh talked to them, and of course didn't buy any. I had to explain the whole WTM meat truck guy thing to him, LOL.
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NOT a bad mom, but your doctor's not so great IMO, lol.
I don't understand why the doc wouldn't have sent you for an xray to be on the safe side, you know?
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Now it says one perp who ran from building to building and was tackled by a student.
God bless the tackler!
Indeed! Quite the hero!
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What in the WORLD...
Lord, have mercy.
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I think I skimmed past your post. I'm sorry if you felt I was insulting your intelligence in some way. I didn't intend that at all.
No I'm sorry Martha. My post came out sounding different than I intended. You didn't insult me at all.
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Yep, I have those. :) I remember tender ones from when the boys were babies, too. :)
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Sure it does. She is basicy saying that pregnancy has absolutely no moral value than any other biological function. Thus the decision to abort is nothing more than whether a person wants to continue that biological function or not. Thus a woman only feels bad about it bc society has conditioned her with some level of conciousness about it that should not exist. And that's just cruel. Because its just another biological function. Soo abortion to Albeto is no different than what? Taking an enema to stop constipation? Taking allergy meds to avoid miserable sniffles?
It makes sense. I follow her logic.
I just know it's wrong, not true and not right. :)
I guess I'm not as bright as you Martha, because I literally could not follow her logic. i get it now that you've explained it.
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It's no more "natural" to feel remorse when terminating a pregnancy than it is "natural" to feel exposed and vulnerable knowing your legs are visible to the public. Not all women want children, not all women want to be pregnant, not all women want to be pregnant when they find themselves pregnant. Stopping one biological process is as "natural" as stopping another. It's simply when a value is assigned to one biological process that elevates it over another in terms of importance, which inspires a particular emotional response.
Your response makes no sense.
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Perhaps you are not familiar with people who have chosen to terminate an unwanted pregnancy who were not conditioned and encouraged to feel remorse or guilt, so perhaps you would have trouble imagining how that can be a loving, responsible choice.
I really don't think that women are "conditioned" and "encouraged" to feel remorse and guilt for terminating a pregnancy. Women feel that way because it's NATURAL to feel so.
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Sounds like whatever district he was in just lost a great teacher. :(
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No. The highest rate is couples who married between ages 20 - 24.
Seriously?! I'm gonna have to google that!
I was 23 and dh was 24 when we married, LOL.
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Well I don't always know this early in the day what we'll be having, but today I do. Dh requested fish tacos. He doesn't usually make specific requests for dinner, so when he does I try to make that.
I use a combo of two recipes for the fish tacos. I use the marinade from this recipe, then I grill the fish on a broiler pan in the oven; 425f for about 15 min.
We flake up the fish, put it in tortillas, then top it with the coleslaw that I got the idea for from this recipe, except I changed it a little. :D I make the dressing with 1/2 cup mayo, ONE chipotle chili, about 1 TBSP of the adobo sauce, and a pinch of salt. Then I add that to about two cups of the coleslaw blend. That's plenty spicy for us.
A little tip; I bought a can of the chilies in adobo sauce, and then divided it up into little baggies with one chili and a spoon of the sauce in each. I froze those to have on hand for when I make these fish tacos. Even the little can of chilies gave me, oh, I think half a dozen or so baggies. Nice way to avoid wasting the rest of the can for just one chili.
Oh, and I've used cod instead of tilapia before, which is good too.
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Oh please don't eat those, LOL.
Meat left out for several hours at room temp is a DEFINITE toss.
VERY husky boy---where do you find clothes?
in The Chat Board
Posted
I agree. If you're guessing his waist is 38-40, I don't think any boy's husky size is going to work. You're most likely going to need to buy men's clothes and have them altered.
Any chance you can alter them yourself, or know someone (in your church, perhaps?) who can help? I'm sure you can find options at the thrift store, but having them altered is likely to cost more than the garment itself, you know?