Entropymama
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Posts posted by Entropymama
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Huh, well, not sure what constitutes a date, so that is tough. Our boarding school had movie night every Friday night. When I had a boyfriend, I would sit with him. But I don't remember being asked out to one of those.
My DH and I went to see Forest Gump as our first date. I didn't know it was a date. I thought we were going as friends. Oops.
I also didn't know my first date with DH was a date. :lol: He was a nice, Christian boy who thought that inviting me to join the youth group at the movies was the same as asking me on a date. The next night the same group went to the drive in. By this time he thought we were dating, since we'd gone out two nights in a row! I thought he was just a nice guy who was trying to include the new girl in the group.
I don't remember any of the movies, though.
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I don't always handle it very well. When I do handle it well, it's because I make kid-free time (sometimes by leaving the house) to sit and think about things and plan and make to-do lists. What I struggle with is figuring out what to do when the kids around, because they are such an interruption to my thought process. If I can make time away from them to actually make the to-do lists, I can do them with the kids around. But I can't get any thinking done with them around. Possibly I should use quiet time for that more often, but I find I often need to do "nothing" during quiet time, so that I can decompress from all of the "swirl". If I use quiet time for "work think" too often, I start to get stressed and resentful.
Luckily, God did not choose to bless me with a large family. If he had, I think I'd be curled up in a ball in the corner somewhere.
This is so me.. except I WAS blessed with a large family. I should try to leverage it into spiritual maturity, but it's a challenge. :laugh:
I want my Evil Overlord shirt. INTJ--ask me about ruling the world, because I've got a system! :lol:
Is this a real thing? Because I need one.
I think my favorite quote from a recent thread about INTJs was "We don't have time for stupid." I think that's ultimately why so many of us homeschool our kids, even though it sounds like most of us aren't the type that actually enjoys staying at home, especially with little kids.
I also need a shirt that says this.
Do the rest of you INTJs often feel like your life is in a holding pattern and will only resume once your youngest graduates? I feel like as a person I've been in stasis for the last ten years and won't really come out for another eleven years, when my oldest graduates.
YEEESSSSS. Thank you for putting my life into words. It's not that I don't love my kids or enjoy them (mostly)! It's just that I want so desperately to have focused time producing something. And that, my friends, is not happening. Like Garga, I find myself spending ungodly amounts of time every day waiting. And it drives me batty.
It's so nice to know I'm not alone, though! And that maybe I'm not doomed to failure or a mental institution.
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Sure. I know lots of people who I think would be good at homeschooling but who tell me they would not be happy homeschooling, and I can totally see that.
I don't think that everyone can homeschool, and I don't think that everyone would enjoy it. I think it's a highly personal choice.
Personally, having had a kid in school, I know that I am not set up to be a school parent. I don't like to be told what to do, and I don't like going along with the crowd just because that's what's easier for those attempting to manage the crowd. I don't like being told to do something that I don't see the point of, and I don't like inflexibility.
I have one in school this year, and the possibility that four will be there next year. I am almost certain that one year of that will convince me to homeschool again. (I say again, but I'll still have 2 at home :) ) It's good to hear your perspective.
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Okay, I am SHOCKED.
I am also an INTJ. :lol: :lol:
I love the idea of homeschooling. I love the planning and researching curriculum, setting up schedules. I love exploring with my kids, reading great books; I love the teaching aspect of it.
I really struggle with the rest, though. The emotional responses when my kids don't like their work, the whining, the being pulled in several directions at once. I have six kids and I've had at least one under four continually for 14 years. I love my babies but I am so over toddlers. I don't like working with my kids for 6-8 hours every day and then having to cook and clean and do laundry. I don't like the chaos. I really, really don't like the chaos.
And I struggle with wanting to do something else. I know 'they' say that children aren't an interruption to great work, they are the great work, but I often wish I could be doing something else. I rarely have great days - although most days are okay and some are good. We rarely get to the end of the day and I think, "Gosh, I love doing this!".
This sounds really harsh against homeschooling and my kids in particular but I think you all know what I mean. I want to love it, but if I'm honest with myself, I often don't. I've spent the last few years making tweaks and changes to get us back to a place where I love it (I used to, when there were fewer kids and grade levels and we could actually do all the stuff I want to do).
How do all you INTJs manage this?
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Sounds fun!
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What is your Meyers-Briggs personality type? If you don't know, you can take the survey here http://www.truity.com/view/types
I recently spent some time reading up on my Meyers-Briggs personality type and found it very interesting that my type is the least likely to report being a stay-at-home parent. It helped explain some of the struggles I've had with homeschooling - feeling unfulfilled, stressing about failure, etc, and I wondered if there were any connections between personality type and homeschooling.
How do you think your personality directs or influences your decision to homeschool and the way you go about it? Do you think certain people who say "I could never homeschool" have simply recognized that their particular bent wouldn't work well in that setting? Not that I think anyone can't homeschool, but it might be more of a challenge for some.-
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Hooray and congratulations!
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This happens to me all the time, but it's mostly because my husband is on staff at a large church and is very active in social media. People feel like they know us, and do know some things (the kids started soccer, we had an anniversary) because of Instagram. It's awkward but I've gotten used to it. Mostly.
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I think the key is communication. For my wedding, my dad said he'd pay for it. However, dh's parents had been attending the same, smallish church for 20 years and knew everyone, so everyone was invited. Like, the invitation was in the church bulletin. It was a little off-putting that they wanted to invite 300 people but not pay for it. My dad ended up saying he'd give us a set amount and we would come up with the rest, and he flat refused to pay for a honeymoon. Dh's parents offered to pay for the flowers, but wouldn't tell us how much until just a few weeks before the wedding. So there were some frustrations there that could have been resolved by better communication. It all worked out - we're all friends now.
I have seen some downright tacky stuff, though. We were invited to a wedding once that included dinner at a restaurant afterward - except you had to pay for your own dinner. It wasn't a cheap place, either. That was awkward.
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For older elementary/middle schoolers?
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As for how your children perceive used clothes, so much of this will depend on their own personalities, but it will also depend on how you frame it to them. My mother had a hand-wringing, whiny way of saying she couldn't afford a new, beautiful dress for a dance, so could I please, please just find this yard sale dress acceptable? It was her framing that made me resent being poor, I believe. I have seen girls (including my own DD) gloat delightedly about how much they saved on their prom gown by getting it used, so I do believe much of it is in how it is framed and how much choice they feel they have. My mother would buy something used and then try to convince me to like it, but I took DD to a dress consignment shop where she was allowed to pick out something she loved.
When my kids were smaller, we had friends who would give us hand me down clothes. It was always a happy day, opening the bags and sorting through to find what they liked and what fit. I always made sure to give them the choice and not make them wear stuff that wasn't their style just because it was free. And I'd tell them how great it was that now their clothing budget would go further because they had these things. Once we bought my oldest a pair of $50 shoes she'd been coveting because we'd gotten so much from friends. It made her understand that she could have what she wanted if she spend wisely. So, yes, I think framing is a big deal and my kids still enjoy thrift shopping when we have time for it.
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When I lived in California, we lived in SoCal, yes. People commented. Only poor people had thrift-store clothes. "Where did you get that, Goodwill?" Uh.
However, prior to that and ever since, I've lived in the Northwest and no, it's not a stamp of poverty, not here. Most kids come over with thrift-store clothing. People will even tell you they got something at Value Village when you compliment their work wardrobe. Like, at work.
So I guess it depends on the culture. I've been told again and again "Oh not all Californians are like that" but honestly that was my experience. From primary (3rd) through part of eighth grade. We lived in Orange County and there's a lot of poverty there and a lot of money. We have money up here but nothing like they have in California. They have so much money they put up gates up to keep poor people out. I'm forever traumatized by the brand consciousness and the gates. Well, trauma isn't the right word. I will never really get over it and I could never imagine living there again. It creeps me out. And then you can't even drink from the water fountains. To me it's just a whole different idea of what it means to be in a "nice place" or "have nice things". Clearly we have different values from the people making decisions there.
My kids have "real" PJs that I got as hand-me-downs and some that were bought with credit card rewards. They mainly sleep in their clothes for tomorrow, though.
Having grown up in Seattle and lived in SoCal, you are spot on. In the PNW it's a badge of honor to buy things second hand. Not so much in LA.
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Yay! Congrats!
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Funny story - ever heard of Charlotte Gambill? She's a pastor and speaker from the UK. She has a son named Noah but tells a story about how he went through a phase where he loved the name George. Named his stuffed animals George, etc. They go to parent/teacher conference and find out that little Noah has told his teacher and all his classmates that he prefers to be called George! Parents had no idea.
When I was a kid my best friend and I went through a phase where we 'changed' our names. My mom played along and called us those names.
I'd bet his name is Michael but he likes to be called Kevin.
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I have no idea but it sounds like a great beginning for a mystery novel.
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Well.. when I was much younger and we needed to be flow-free for an evening, we used to take very hot baths. Like, enough to turn your skin pink and make you sweat. Sit in it for 20 minutes and everything would clamp up for a while. Of course, things were much lighter back then, and I have NO idea if this is safe or even actually works. It seemed to work then!
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You can edit your browsing history. I do that frequently when looking for family gifts. :-)
I'm debating editing my browsing history so I don't get pop up ads when the kids are on.. or leaving it so I get them when dh is on. That might do the trick for you right there. :lol:
One suggestion - make an agreement that you'll brew it every day for some length of time. 30 days is good, although maybe not workable. Sometimes frequency makes the heart grow fonder.
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Thanks! I'm always wary doing business with strangers over the internet. :)
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I'm buying some books off a woman on Facebook - I don't know her, it's through a sale site. She wants me to give her my email so she can send me a Paypal bill. I've never done this before; I normally just send the money to the seller's email.
I'm not normally paranoid, and maybe this is normal, but I've never heard of sending bills for Paypal. Anyone?
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I may be unusual, but since six kids gave me large and unwieldy books, I love sports bras like these: http://www.target.com/p/c9-champion-women-s-power-shape-sports-bra/-/A-16719582#prodSlot=_1_12
They have clasps in the back, nice wide shoulder straps, plenty of fabric up front to keep everything reined in and are very comfortable. Plus they have inserts in the front, so the poor things have a bit more shape. They don't come in cup sizes, but I found mediums to fit well and I'm probably a 32C.
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When kids do these trips they tend to send out letters to everyone they know. She may also be paying part of the way with her own earnings or doing other work to fundraise. I doubt she is expecting you to donate, but she probably figured she might as well ask. If you don't want to send anything, don't feel bad about it.
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:grouphug: :grouphug:
Thanks for posting this. I remember the conversation but didn't know anything had actually been set up.
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No advice, but when you publish, if you pm me the link I'll buy your book! Congrats!
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I'm very interested in the responses here. We're reading Bud, Not Buddy and while I'd like to be having some good conversations about what it was like to be an African American boy in the 1930's, I find I have no background to lead these conversations, not even from my reading. Any insight would be appreciated!
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Personality types and homeschooling
in The Chat Board
Posted
See, those are the kinds of people skills I wish I had. I would just say "Did you get the balloons?" and be bossy and demanding, then not understand when people don't want to help me with stuff anymore. :lol: