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LostSurprise

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Posts posted by LostSurprise

  1. Four boys here.

     

    I understand. We have ideas of what we want or how our family will be and it hurts when we see that it won't be the way we wanted.

     

    Pregnancy is a wonderful time to get those feelings out..mourn a little..and then get excited about the new little one. Sometimes we need those 9 months, emotionally as well as physically!

     

    If it becomes more then that, if you can't let go, just remember that we can't really control much of what happens in our lives. We imagine what our new little ones will be like and what our lives will be like, but the reality is that they are their own people. In the end we end up loving them for who they are...not who we want them to be. This same scene plays out over and over whether we have all boys, all girls, or a mix of the two. You just get that experience a little earlier than most. ;)

     

    I love my boys. I was a bit disappointed that I didn't have a girl, but I am the Queen of this house. And if dh's aunt is any indication (girly girl who had 3 boys and now has 3 granddaughters) having granddaughters can be amazing! All the pink dresses and fun without the whining and PMS. :tongue_smilie:

  2. Not my style but dh would love it. He loves the nickname Zeke though.

     

    I say go for it, as long as you keep one of the names semi-normal (for sensitive children) and allow them to choose to go by their other name...I don't see why not. We used Axel and Sverre for middle names.

     

    ***I also had a vivid dream during my 3rd pregnancy that I passed out during the birth and dh presented me with a 20lb blond-headed boy named Hezekiah (nickname 'Zekiah) when I woke up. In the dream I started screaming that it was not my baby.***

     

    Oh, and I think Hezekiah Douglas doesn't quite work together.

  3. Keepers I use all the time:

    cast iron skillet

    saucepans (at least 2 with at least 1 lid)

    vegetable knife, slicing knife, bread knife, scissors

    mixing bowls (at least 2, small and large...lid for the large)

    baking sheets

    vinyl sheets liners (2) for pizzas (my silpat is unraveling after less then a year but my cheap one is not), french rolling pin

    tong, large scraper, big spoon, flipper (I know, such technical terms :tongue_smilie:)

    measuring cup/spoon (adjustable)

    small bread pans, stone or clay tile for oven, scale

    9x9 glass pans with lids (works for everything from cake to casserole)

     

    I would get rid of in a heartbeat:

    dutch oven (the cast iron taints my chicken stock and I only want 1)

    microwave (keep the toaster oven)

    KA mixer (I know, I know...but the lock broke three years ago and it flops around...I need a new mixer with more bread capacity)

    hot chocolate maker (what was my husband thinking?)

    blender

     

    Things I don't need but I enjoy:

    electric griddle (the boys eat pancakes soo fast)

    crockpot

    whisk

    wooden spoon

    large pasta bowls for serving

  4. There's also a short book of poetry entitled The Adventures of Tom Bombadil. the title poem talks about a day in the life of Tom. If he likes poetry, all good, if he was looking for a further tale about Tom he should look elsewhere.

     

    My copy from the '80s has a cool cover though.

     

    Roverrandom (the adventures of a dog) or Farmer Giles of Ham/Smith of Wooton Major (other fairy tales not set in Middle Earth) might be fun. Both are older works by Tolkien that aren't connected to The Lord of the Rings.

  5. I can't tell you what the job situation is like. Manufacturing took a big hit (and everything that supports it), but many of the other sectors are fine.

     

    One plus is that the cost of living, especially outside of the southern WI (Milwaukee, Janesville, Madison) is very reasonable. We live in central WI and even before the downturn housing was 'cheap.' The same house we live costs double in IL...and I'm being conservative with that figure. Closer to Chicago it would be 3x. When we moved here we could easily get by on one salary in the mid-40s. (However, this can mean that salaries are lower as well.)

     

    Green Bay is a wonderful area. I haven't tried to get a job there or buy a home, but it is not far from either the suburban shopping of Appleton/Oshkosh area or the wild beauty of northern WI.

  6. I have a special needs son and sometimes the mornings are a bit hectic.

     

    A month ago my husband forgot to put the cans out (a common thing) and I didn't check that morning.

     

    My son noticed the lone garbage man walk up to the house, get the cans in the side yard, drag them and dump them, and return them to the side of the house. He didn't need to, that certainly isn't part of his job description but I appreciated it!

  7. I'm not an emotional person and I wasn't raised an emotional family. My mother is not very emotional and my father is from the west side of Chicago, definitely the 'man up' type.

     

    My closest brother was a very emotional child. Not in a manipulative way. He was always embarrassed by it, but he was a perfectionist...very deep feeling and deep thinking. If he felt hurt, it came out despite what others said. He wasn't stupid. He knew if he cried he would be commented on, told to 'man up,' laughed at, bullied, etc. At that time (2-13) it was not always controllable.

     

    Men like my father and the coach in the first thread, women like my brother's 5th grade teacher who made fun of him in front of the class are what caused my brother to not just learn to control his emotion but to refuse to have ANY emotion. About anything. He doesn't trust anyone with anything deep...including his family. He's divorced because he can't let go and show how he feels.

     

    Fast forward. I have 4 boys. My second son (10) is just like my brother. He is extremely emotional. When he is upset it all comes out. The anger. The sorrow. Everything. He is still working on holding it back.

     

    He does not want to be this way. My husband and I are working hard on helping him connect with socially acceptable ways to deal with his emotions. He walks. He runs. He beats on the punching bag. He lays on his bed and yells into the pillow. It's a process.

     

    So no, I wouldn't appreciate what the asst. coach did in the first post. Nor would I appreciate a 5 minute pity party (although I would appreciate the attempt to help him work through emotion rather than tell him he's a wuss). Emotional kids need their emotions verified ('that's tough' 'man, that's so disappointing!' 'I bet that hurts' 'I can see that you're angry'), then they may need some direction ('why don't you go get a drink of water and take a walk around the field' 'would you like to take a break?' 'can you pack the equipment for me?'), and some time to work through the feelings. Some kids like to do that in private, some with friends.

     

    No one needs to be told that the way they feel or the fact or that they can't control those feelings is less-than-masculine. Period. A coach's job is to help kids learn and grow. That means encouraging them and pointing them toward a better way, not judging them and then trying to embarrass them into more comfortable behavior.

  8. If she's anything like our spaniel, he can stretch the door (or sometimes even one of the sides) open enough to squeeze out. He needs only the smallest crack...and the door pops back in place. It's got to be painful but once they learn how to do it...wow.

     

    Our dog even does this with elastic cables in place. We don't bother with crates anymore. We were betting on how many minutes it would take him to break out.

  9. I know this is a common feeling...especially with people who have been in the church a long time. Sometimes it's described as being 'repetitive' with the same issues coming up over and over again. It can be frustrating to hear very generalized sermons which don't help anyone progress.

     

    For me, it helps to remember that every sermon (or series) is not for every person. You have to remember that sometimes the pastor is at a different place then you, or that God has another group or person in mind with this message.

     

    What has also worked for me is that I've developed parallel means to learn and worship within a group, even when the particular message is not for me personally. When I sit in the service I can write a poem from the text. Journal about it. Draw an abstract of how it makes me feel. Be inspired by a song and search the hymnal for additional songs on the theme. Add a new verse. Pray for one (or several) members of the congregation. Reflect on the week. Finger puppets of Jesus and the disciples. ;) Etc.

     

    Our church bag includes sketchbooks and pens for every member of the family. We ask that the boys copy and learn the text, then we allow them to explore the sermon on paper in any way that appeals to them.

     

    While this may not be your permanent place, you can worship here for awhile. Stop holding yourself to being a passive listener to one person and move the sermon inside.

  10. I would hesitate to report anyone just based on their clothing alone. Is it possible to do anything but strut in heels?

     

    I live in a very rural area. Our paper guy cross-dresses. He delivers papers all year round in heels (past several schools as well). He is the sweetest man.

     

    I know his choices have not made his life the easiest. I'd hate to see someone make them harder because he happens to walk by a school every day for his job.

     

    Your mileage may vary on this, but it's my opinion.

  11. Very small, very frequent snacks. Baggie of Cheerios, yes. A pack of crackers..eating only 1 or 2 at a time. A mouthful of mashed potatoes (plain, with salt).

     

    What worked best for me was eating a tiny handful of cereal or 1-2 crackers every 15 minutes. If I waited even 30 minutes I would feel nausea.

     

    Peppermint. Loved peppermints.

     

    Tea. Stay hydrated.

     

    When you do feel hungry eat, but don't overeat. Load up on protein then if your stomach can handle it. If the smell of meat bothers you...yogurt (especially solid Greek yogurt), almonds, even ice cream! can help.

     

    I was pregnant 4x. The first time I had severe morning sickness...so I didn't eat. It got worse. Slowly through the next 3 pregnancies I developed what worked for me. Listen to what people say and then try little things...adapt it to work for you. And don't be afraid to just say nothing works! See your physician for some relief. I have at least one friend where nothing worked for her but medication.

  12. When my 5 year old wanted to do that we had a talk about practice and how practicing every day or a few times a week equals stronger arms.

     

    Every time we went to the park he did the hand-over-hand bars...at least 2-3 times each visit (sometimes more). By the end of the summer he could do them easily. By the next year he could do any set of bars.

     

    I made a commitment to get him out to a playground at least 3x a week (although sometimes we got busy). He committed to practice. That's what it took.

  13. My oldest looves food. He will eat anything and he's getting to that age where it can pile up a little (10-12) before he hits his big growth spurt.

     

    What has helped him:

     

    *DAILY activity. An hour at least.

    *Sharing food. When he makes things he has 1 portion and then he gives to his family and his friends. It's become fun for him to find opportunities to give his creations away or be involved in group preparation.

     

    He's still a little chunky but I've noticed in his face that he's firmed up a bit and he's taken a more healthy approach. Best of all he seems to have taken responsibility of it on himself.

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