tibbyl
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Posts posted by tibbyl
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Keep in mind that there is also the possibility that the self-cutting is copycat behavior:
http://www.bpkids.org/site/PageServer?pagename=dt_ft_selffinjuryawarenessforparents
It is important to distinguish between true self-injury and what is considered copycat injury. Particularly in the teen years there is a degree of social peer pressure and desire for inclusion that can lead adolescents (particularly girls) to mimic the behaviors of others. The main distinction is that a copycat injurer will do so for attention and will be less likely to try to hide her injuries. A person truly suffering from self injury will generally go to great lengths to hide his/her behavior.
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After far too many tears from both mother and curly-haired kid here, we finally decided upon having her hair thinned out at a salon.
Her hair would grow out to sides as much as it would grown down toward shoulders. Once I had to clip out a mat about one square inch, which she kept for awhile and named "Harry."
Life was much more enjoyable after the thinning decision. Gradually we cut down on the thinning visits as she learned more about how to care for her hair herself.
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An astonishing 80% even though I'm not very computer literate.
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I've only seen "Amistad," "The Patriot," and "Last of the Mohicans."
There is a natural built-in tension between accuracy and enteratinment in historical films.
I would heartily recommend "Amistad." Although I had not read about the Amistad incident prior to the film, the depiction of slaving voyage was consistent with what we had read on issue and observed in museum exhibits. I assume that the judicial scenes were fairly accurate. However, with big name actors like Morgan Freeman and Anthony Hopkins, obviously one could safely assume personal stories were stretched and embellished for dramatic effect. I was riveted by the film the entire time; my companion snored intermittently throughout.
"The Patriot," while beautifully photographed, left me feeling snookered because I had expected a grittier, truthier film. As an aside, I was not familiar with Mel Gibson's work at that time. The first thing that jumped out at me was that Gibson's character was a SC plantation owner yet owned no slaves; his black workers were free to come and go. Based upon what I have read, this would have been unusual for plantation owner in that time frame. Also, I had expected the film to cover the tension between those loyal to Britain and those favoring independence. With the exception of Gibson's unwavering good luck in outarmed skirmishes, the depiction of militia and guerilla fighting were probably accurate. Gibson's character reminded of what we had read about The Swamp Fox and others of that ilk in our American history.
Honestly I remember little about "Last of the Mohicans." I never could get interested in the novel either. The film is beautifully photographed in western NC; there were a few sites I recognized from hiking the area as young person. And Daniel Day Lewis was pleasing to the eye.
If your primary goal is accuracy, it may be a good idea to follow up the entertaining films with documentaries on the subject.
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I dictated which literature selections were used in our homeschool. Their after hours pleasure reading choices were their own. That said, all my kids except one did choose to read quality literature of their own accord.
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Being the tightwads we are, yes, we used them.
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For my own personal tastes, I prefer the classic or original illustrations. We had the boxed set of the Little House books with the Garth Williams illustrations.
However, if a modern updated attracts the attention of a young reader who may not have otherwise considered reading an old book, then job well done.
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Oops, sorry, Colleen, I explained myself ater I took your poll but before I read your original post about not explaining oneself.
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Yes, I support collective bargaining in general while recognizing that power of any kind will always support at least some corruption and inefficiency. Solidarity is one of few offsets to corporate greed. However, human nature being what it is, those who own the capital will gravitate toward the most desperate labor pools who usually are the most easily exploited. Thus, for now, unions have virtually become irrelevant in U.S. despite having been primarily responsible for passage of many fair and safe labor laws.
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Can someone who actually enjoys company holiday parties tell me what there is to like
I'm going to my firm's party tonight. The firm does put on a rather lavish holiday party with high quality appetizers, meal, and open bar plus live music and dancing all in a very tastefully decorated ballroom.
I enjoy hanging out with co-workers in a relaxed, chatty atmosphere. Plus I get to meet their partners, friends, or spouses. For new employees, I try to guess which person is their date.
And I get the chance to mix with employees from other departments that I typically do not interact with during the workday.
I enjoy hearing the personal and family anecdotes that the people tell.
There are always one or two people who have too much drink. It's interesting to see how the intoxication affects their personality.
Honestly, karaoke at an Elks Lodge type place sounds like a lousy setting imo too. I'd only attend if it were necessary to be politically correct career-wise. Unfortunately, most of the time it is necessary.
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As a teenager, I received an Elvis Presley album from my mother. I guess she thought all young women swooned over Elvis. I wasn't one of them. But she was a sweet kind person who probably couldn't find my preferred folk music in our backwoods town. So it doesn't sting like getting monogrammed item with wrong name.
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Meanie, many years ago my cantankerous old paternal grandmother gave my new husband and I some monogrammed items with the wrong first name for husband. Wasn't even close ... a completely different name so it was not a misspelling. We had cohabited for five years prior to marriage.
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Anna, two of my girls experienced early menarche: one at 9 years 9 months and the other at 9 years 11 months. One of those two kids did not have very noticeable signs of puberty and was not overweight, so menarche was totally unexpected. I shudder to think how unnerving it could have been had she not been thoroughly educated about the menstruation process. Both times, menarche happened when the child was across the state visiting with relatives without me.
Actually, we owned a copy of The Care and Keeping of You. For our family, I was glad that menstruation, tampons, and sanitary napkins were part of the content. Plus I often soaked my cloth menstrual pads in sink in bathroom before ringing out and tossing in diaper pail. The girls also saw my sea sponge tampons soaking and drying. Menstrual items were hung on line to dry right beside diapers. Thus, I really can't recall the kids *not* knowing about menstruation.
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The color followed by Dr. Seuss's Green Eggs and Ham secondly. Third a lush, verdant forest. Fourth a novice as in "greenhorn."
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I'll second the Catwings series by Ursula LeGuin. Read those repeatedly when girls were younger.
Even though these are not specifically targeted toward girls, one of my daugthers collected and read all the Hank the Cowdog series. They're good on CD too.
We adored the Geronimo Stilton series for younger set. Youngest dyslexic child also liked the very easy to read Junie B Jones books and later the Amber Brown books followed by Princess School books.
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My husband has stitched and taped his own deep, long cut from weedeater.
But I would not allow this to be done to an animal, regardless of whether it was companion, domesticated, or wild.
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Cathmom, I'm sorry that you were the target of yet another person who lacks compassion for those who need public assistance. You were brave to be open on WTM about being a WIC recipient.
Unfortunately certain people believe that they, as taxpayers, have inherent right to scrutinize and criticize the lifestyle decisions of public assistance recipients, to carp about how entitlements make a lazy complacent people, and to claim essentially that basic public assistance equates with socialism and bringing about the downfall of our country. Sure, there are always those who will abuse the system, but that does not justify suspecting everyone of milking the system and using that to rationalize doing away with welfare spending. Try to ignore them as best you can.
There is more than enough humiliation built into in the WIC application process itself. I'm sorry that you have had to deal with that plus reading the dribble of a mean-spirited soul.
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of telling other mothers how they should feel about their pregnancies or assuming I know how they ought to feel.
I've had so many friends face judgment because they already had a nestful of children. I have friends who have gotten pregnant (on purpose, I think) when their husbands didn't have jobs, I have a number of friends who have gotten pregnant despite seriously challenging marriages. And I've had friends get pregnant when, in the eyes of many, they were "too old." I know privately some of them were just as worried as everyone else was, but they managed moments of swooning over baby clothes and comparing pregnant bellies and "gleeful exuberance", because what else can they do when the baby is coming, regrets or not? I think you have to be very very close to a woman to know how she *really* feels about a pregnancy.
I am a big believer in prevention and access to birth control. But once a woman is pregnant, she's pregnant. She needs to rejoice in new life. And since biologically 15 year olds are designed for this, it's no surprise to me that they have positive feelings despite their fears, reservations, and sadness. But it's not a surprise to me that they hide those negative feelings from people they don't really trust to share them with. And it's not a surprise to me that they hide their fears from people they think will pressure them to choose adoptioin when they don't want that.
I was going to comment that an appropriate level of shame may still exist, even if only in minds, not actions. But your post explains so much better what I was trying to say.
Someone very close to me in a perilous marriage announced her pregnancy to us. I know that both she and her husband could see the despair in my face although I congratulated them. Within a couple days I was able to connect with and share her enthusiasm. However, frankly I was greatly relieved when she miscarried a few weeks later and relieved again months later when she left the marriage.
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I eagerly second Unconditional Parenting by Alfie Kohn. We also bought the lecture on DVD because it is a wonderful primer for parents (psst .. dads) who do not wish to read a parenting book. The book begins at the most logical point: by defining what one's ultimate goals are for person one's child will become.
Adele Faber & Elaine Mazlish's How to Talk so Kids Will Listen and Listen so Kids Will Talk and same duo's Siblings Without Rivalry.
Any of Jane Nelsen's Positive Disclipine series. They are broken into age categories.
Thomas Harris's Parent Effectiveness Training.
As would be true of any good parenting book worth its salt, all these books have helped me not only in interactions with my children, but also with other adults.
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This is constant throughout the day. I have to see dd holding the cat or sleeping or anything. All of which I have seen one hundred thousand times before. It's not new, it's not neat, it's constant.
How do you deal with this without hurting their feelings. Drives me batty after a while.
By trying to see the world through their fresh, young eyes. By saying things like, "Oh, the kitty looks content in your lap," or "That was a cool jump. Show me again!" Whatever they want to share with you is indeed new and neat to them.
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My mother was unwed in 1965 when I was born, so I am not heartless and cold about this issue. I have no desire to be cruel or cold to someone in trouble. The reason I think we should not embrace unwed motherhood is because I believe it to be wrong to have sex outside of marriage. If one doesn't share that particular belief than this conversation is pointless. If one does share that belief, then I would say it is very tricky to welcome a life while not overlooking the sin that brought about that life.
Would I provide help for a young girl who found herself pregnant? Sure. I would buy necessities. Would I throw a big party for her? No. Would I banish her to a home for unwed mothers? No. Would I pretend that what she did is fine and dandy? No.
Just as in every day life with everyone, we all have to decide how to treat each other. And while I try to be kind to all sorts of people, I do not open my heart and fellowship to people who are living a life of any kind of sin.
Thank you for explaining your position. We see the issue differently. While I disapprove of teen pregnancy, the resulting child is innocent, so I have no problem with fully celebrating his/her arrival and existence, regardless of whatever unintended nod of perceived approval my actions may imply.
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For the posters who have expressed dismay that the shame or stigma level of teen pregnancy is now too low as compared to older times, what type of actions would you like to see instituted to convey shame and stigma?
No more birth announcements?
No showers?
Sending mother to a home for unwed mothers?
Family being secretive about the birth?
Having the babies adopted out?
Keeping the pregnant teens physically separated from their peers?
In the late 1980s, I remember an aunt of mine refusing to buy a shower gift for my unwed cousin's baby because aunt felt the family should be too ashamed to have a shower for a bastard child.
So specifically what changes in way things are done would communicate the stigma?
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I do not have an official recipe for my fruity chicken salad in pita. But here's how I make it.
Chopped or shredded chicken, either canned or left over from roasted chicken. Prefer the ease of canned chicken plus it usually has flavoring added.
Tart crisp apple, cored, and chopped.
Canned pineapple tidbits, well drained.
Chopped celery, optional.
Raisins, optional.
Roasted or toasted almonds or pecans, optional.
A creamy dressing like mayo and honey mustard dressing OR mayo, mustard, and honey, OR use a compatible flavored yogurt dressing.
Cinnamon mixed into the creamy dressing. I use quite a bit of cinnamon. I've substituted allspice when out of cinnamon.
The apple, pineapple, chicken, cinnamon and creamy dressing are really the only essential ingredients. Sometimes I toss in grapes or strawberries.
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The HS my niece attended had such a large number of girls getting pregnant that there was a Mommy's Club that scheduled events and playdates, etc.
There is no shame about getting pregnant in HS anymore. Her senior English class had 5 pregnant girls - some working on their 2nd child. What does that communicate to all the other girls that aren't pregnant?
It's acceptable.
That they may be treated with compassion if/when they make same mistake.
Whew! Thirty minutes later, we made it from the driveway to the house. LOL
in General Education Discussion Board
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Amusing yet pathetic, isn't it? A low star rating is the last WTM refuge for small mean-spirited souls to dabble in anonymous nastiness. The star raters are known only to the admins/mods.