Kathy in MD
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Posts posted by Kathy in MD
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During a really severe flea season, my dog developed an allergy to fleas. He never had breathing problems, but scratched continually and eventually developed hot spots (bald patches). I don't remember bumps or welts as this was pre-marriage (many many years ago) and he was long haired.
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I think that the longer lifespans in the West become, and the safer our lives are, the more risk-averse we seem. Risks that were considered normal when I was small are now guarded against with zeal. I compare this to people in China, whose lives are much more dangerous and short, but who accept enormous risks as a normal part of life.
I'm not saying I would swap Western thought habits for Chinese ones, but the comparison is interesting.
Laura
:iagree:
I think also that the increase in national statistics, and increased news coverage has also made us more aware of danger.
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Just had an idea.
If your dd is insisting on sneaking in talks late at night, start dragging her out of bed at 4 when your dh has to get up. Get her working and keep her working all day (same hours as your dh plus commute time). Keep that up for a week or so and see if she's still so disrespectful of your dh's need for sleep. I don't doubt that she'll grumpy and irratable, but you'll need to nip it in the bud. That behavior could get her fired.
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I don't buy any food from China.
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A funny thing is how the demand for "fresh" fruits and vegetables may actually be less healthy than well preserved foods, especially frozen.
All too often, fresh foods are picked green and allowed to "ripen" on the way to the market. Though there is now a push for local foods in season, there is still a huge demand for fresh, out of season fruits and vegetables. The frozen and canned food sections have a far smaller selection than when I grew up, but the exotics and out of seasons in the fresh foods have never been greater.
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It's possible that it's just bad teeth, or lack of florine while before she was even born.
My ds was born in a country that didn't floridate the water. Our dentist said that prior to birth is when the dentine is laid down on the baby teeth and the lack of florine at this stage is detrimental. But ds didn't need teeth pulled because of it, just cavities filled.
And then there was the dentist's embarressment. One of his dc had tons of cavities. Just the one, but still not a good advertisment for his df.:001_smile:
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SOME would, of course, depend on the people involved. But...
My parents were supportive. I lived the pregnancy and first 5 months of my daughter's life with them. I was not kicked out. My mom and I went garage saling together for stuff for the baby. My (step)dad painted and set up the crib we bought. My mom paid the first installment on my medical care but it was my responsibility to pay the rest by the time I was 7 months. My parents were not mean, hateful, etc. They had opinions but expressed them appropriately. My mom felt for me and what I went through but didn't save me from it. She gifted me with time, opportunity, etc but I didn't have built in babysitters so I could run all over creation. They didn't pay everything for me. I fed and diapered my own kid. *I* got up in the middle of the night.
Some of these girls? Played basketball for the school after childbirth. They went out to parties regularly. Their parents bought EVERYTHING plus some for the new mom and baby. Their brothers had to start sharing a room so the baby had a full nursery. They didn't have to take care of their baby except as one would a doll, when they felt like it. They didn't go to work. They fiddlefarted through 7 years of college. They lived off mom and dad. They had the best of everything.
Really? These girls, materially, had more for themselves as "mom" and their babies than most 20somethings could possibly have when doing it right.
And so they took advantage. Why go home if mom will pick your kid up from daycare, feed and bathe her? Why not play two sports in high school after having a child? Why on earth would you get a job when your parents bought you a brand new car and diapers and and and? Why would you move out with your 5yr old when mom and dad foot the bill for everything? Why worry about when you'll finish college--hey, have fun and enjoy; mom and dad got things covered?
It stunted them in EVERY way. The school started providing divorce classes for students. Seems 17-22 yr old men can't provide like mom and dad. <sigh>
I'm just saying. I think that by letting me take responsibility, my parents helped me learn and grow. I still made plenty of mistakes, some of them I'm embarrassed of today. But I'm glad they were empathetic but not enabling. I'm glad I had to step up and be a parent all the way around. It made me a stronger better person. I'm GLAD I had my own place the last part of senior year (though waiting a few months would have been fine too). I'm GLAD I worked. I'm GLAD I bought my daughter's diapers the great majority of the time. I'm GLAD I drove a 10yr old vehicle and had garage sale OshKosh. I'm GLAD I took care of my own kid outside of time for school and work (though she went to work with me the first several months).
I would SO love my children and grandchildren, but I wouldn't give them the world. Like I said, I really think that saving kids, but especially teens and adults, from consequences is problematic and dangerous. It stunts them.
Of course, HOPEFULLY this is so a non-issue for us. I'm hoping that they make good choices. I see evidence that they have gained self-discipline and real life skills and have practiced them so that will be a great protection for them.
But in the end, they are responsible for their choices and *I* will not be taking on the responsibility for those choices. I can love and support them without enabling them. I love them too much to stunt their development like that. If they get in that situation, they need to grow up and raise their own kids, not spend even more time as irresponsible, immature ones.
Thanks Pamela,
It's sometimes hard to know what is not enough and what is too much, though it does seem obvious that many of the parents of your classmates went overboard.
But it's very good to know what you found sufficient.
BTW, my ds when very young was dressed mostly in garage sale items even though we could afford to buy all that stuff new, including the brand names. I just couldn't see spending that sort of money for it new, and hitting the garage sales gave ds top quality clothing at much lower than cheap priced clothing. :D
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I'd do a coast to coast tour of the US, focusing mostly on natural history. We did a short, 2 month one 5 years ago and my ds recently requested another similar.
Since ds will be in HS next year, a full load of school work had to come along.:glare:
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Is there something about turning 15? I refused to buy a present for NOT-so ds because he'd been so nasty. His father bought him one, otherwise it would have been nada.
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I'm puzzled by those who would be very against having the infant adopted, especially by non-family members. What are some of your reasons?
I still remember my surprise when a co-worker's dd became pregnant her freshman year in college and my co-worker said no way was her grandbaby going to be adopted. A year later, the grandchild was no longer fun, my co-worker wasn't helping as much and the dd dropped out of college. The extra sad fact was that this was the first member of my co-workers family ever to go to college.
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I think that there is good helping and enabling helping........
Pamela,
What do you see as good helping vs enabling helping?
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If your documentation doesn't rule out reselling, take the company to small claims court. It shouldn't cost much for you (you can represent yourself with no problems), but the company needs to hire an attorney.
If they don't show up you should win automatically. If they do, I would think you'd still win if you have your original documentation, and maybe even if you don't.
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(So says the BLT addict)
Only addicted whe the tomatoes are good. 2-2.5 months of addiction, then back to boring sandwiches.
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The only reason I would worry about this is if she has trouble writing, forming letters, drawing a straight line, drawing a circle etc. It would indicate that she had poor fine motor skills and something you might want to work on. But if it is only the coloring, then it isn't quite as important as writing skills.
:iagree:
For many children, they need just a bit more time and focused work. But sometimes this may be what alerts you to dig deeper.
Poor coloring skills was just one symptom of the severe sensory problems my ds had. A few common signs to look for are sensitivity to textures, sudden loud noises, touch (my ds would immediately scratch if he was lightly touched), poor balance, speech problems when combined with other signs, fine motor and/or gross motor control problems and many more. And the list I threw together is rough and will not all be found in the same child. I suggest you get the Out-of-Syc Child if you suspect other problems other than just coloring skills.A little over a year of OT resolved most pf his problems, but OT is very time sensitive.
Chances are your dc doesn't suffer from sensory problems, but if you notice other delays or problems, check out the book.
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Wow! That's fascinating! We start our year Oct. 1. We have "community clubs" and "project clubs". You can be in as many clubs as you want. I know kids in 6 clubs. I think it's kind of rediculous. Community clubs are just that. They are focused around a particular geographical area. You can do any project you like while in them. For example, you don't HAVE to be in rabbit club to do rabbits - you can do that in your community club. All projects are done individually also, but no "booklet" or "manuals" are given out and what exactly a "project" consists of I still don't know and I've been in 4-H for 5 years and am now a leader! No one ever checks to see if a kid completed a "project" or not. Our county project clubs are horse, rabbit, dog, shooting sports, livestock and goat. My kids are only in horse club and rabbit club. We dropped our community club because it was just too many meetings. Still, in project clubs, no one helps kids "do" a project or even explains what is expected. The meetings are boring and we just discuss "new business", "old business" and what's comming up etc. Not much fun going on and we loose kids because of this. I am trying to change this in the horse club. In our horse club, I do hold practices for the horse shows and we try to put on a couple of clinics each year and go on a couple of trail rides. The kids also practice for hippology and horse bowl.
Now, for competition, there are many choices. Spring Livestock show, Spring horse show, district horse show, state horse show, state fair, County fair ( not 4-H fair - we don't have that), O'rama, and other shows or jackpots sponsored by individual clubs.
O'Rama is where kids present illustrated talks, demonstration talks, fashion review, singing and musical tallent, also the "Three B's",bait casting, bee bee shooting and bicycle riding. Winners of each category go on to district and if they win there, go on to state and nationals. Every county, district and state has an "O'Rama" and then there is National O'Rama. Maybe some states just call it something else? I'm betting that some of the activities at your "4-H Fair" are O'Rama activites and count towards becoming eligible at district, state and nationals. Just a guess. Our O'Rama does not have livestock, horse or dog shows. Do me a favor and ask your county 4-H project co-ordinator if they know what O'Rama is. I am dying to know! I would be SHOCKED if they didn't. ( I just called our 4-H office to double check myself and she tells me that yes, O'Rama is a National competition!)
Anyway, MOST kids who show animals, do so at the County Fair. It is the big show of the year, even though it is NOT a 4-H show. MOST of the 4-H awards our kids get are from showing animals at the county fair. I think it's wierd. Some kids go on to show at the Arkansas State Fair - again, NOT a 4-H show, but you get 4-H awards for it. You do not have to win at county to show at state. Anyone can enter the State Fair. Our State 4-H does put on a spring livestock show that only 4-Hers can be in. Can your kids not enter items and livestock at your county and state fairs if they want to?
In addition to all this, some kids do Record Books or what they now call Journals. Those are due in Jan and document a kid's project for the previous year. You have GOT to have Journal competition - no? This is also a national competition and can lead to scholarship money for High school seniors. That's pretty much it!
Our 4-H is a bit more similar to your's. We have both community and project clubs. But our community clubs are more community service oriented. And our community club suffers from being too new (no experienced members to teach the youger ones), an overbooked leader, and very small. The clubs also do a lot of club projects, which earn the clubs money.
Our 4-H is also year-round, with many training and judging opportuities occuring during the school year. But some of the judging does occur at the fair, so unless the parent is really up on dates, newbies probably miss having their clothing judged or ?. Oh, and we self select for the state fair, and you register for the state fair before the county fair registration. You have to beg for project books, even if you're willing to pay for them. I'm getting the idea that they're so afraid of driving off potential members that they're afraid to give guidence, AKA telling them what to do.
Record books aren't due until the year's end, which does relieve a lot of the last minute stress. Oh, and these books are more essays than records of the projects, it's not for the engineer types. And older students need to prepare a job resume each year. Good idea, but where's the training?
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I am orignally from CO and love how the state runs their 4H program. We are currently living in IL and I just don't understand why they do certain things here. I am sure people are sick of hearing "In CO we would....".
I love the State Fair grounds in Pueblo.
I hope your children do well and get to go to the State Fair.
If IL runs their program like IN, I'd go there in a minute. My dh is sick of hearing, "Well, in IN we would........". And my sister has always told me what a superior 4-H program MD had to IN when we were in 4-H. She doesn't talk about MD's program like that any more, at least to me.
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:grouphug:
and a :lol:, remembering my dh.
My favorite laugh is when we lived in Germany and my dh asked my 5yo ds what ds wanted to get me for Christmas. Ds, having been dragged through all the handcrafted, local gift shops by the PX with me knew exactly what to get. A Nutcracker.
Now everyone here knows what a nutcracker is, especially one made in Germany. And there are gorgeous ones, they aren't limited to the stiff, wooden tin soldier types.
But dh is an engineer type. Shopping is to be done quickly at the last minute......without ds. And Germany also makes industrial strength nut crackers. Beautiful, shiny, heavy metal nutcrackers that will crack anything. Nutcrackers that will last for multiple lifetimes. Nutcrackers that go in the kitchen drawer and are never left on the shelves to decorate at Christamas time. Ds had no idea what dh bought, just that it wasn't a "nutcracker". I thanked dh, laughed over the mixup, used it on the bag of nuts he bought to go with it.............and bought myself 3 decorative nutcrackers a few months later.:D
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Don't forget the "worldly" reasons. Often curiosity and lust is used as bait to draw in victims. These sites are often sources of viruses and, I assume, ID theft. Also they draw boys and men in to spend big bucks.
Discuss also how the images are "improved" with plastic surgery and image manipulation. Talk about the effect on the models and women who don't participate, but find that men are measuring them up against this "ideal".
I'd also look for pictures of real women, fully and partially clothed. National Geographic can help with that, especially with women in the tropics who've had several children.
Then can you find other things that would satisfy his curiosity but not be , hmmmm, obnoxious? I know I was always wanting to know what a male looked like around that age, strictly of scientific curiosity. When I told my mother many, many years later it dawned on her that she had brothers to learn from. I only had sisters.
I can also threaten my ds with taking over his sex education from his df. That terrifies him. :D
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Since you have one aunt who is good at everything, and I assume pickles are included, ask her to teach you. Learn in person if possible, by phone and e-mail otherwise. As you can tell from Bill's recipe, there are lots of variations even in the "real" thing. Once you master your aunt's recipe, then experiment to tailor it to your tastes.
BTW, my dm spent years with dgm trying to learn how to make noodles, even simpler than pickles, but she ever mastered them. So don't worry if you never recreate your dgm's recipe.
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:iagree::iagree::iagree: with TapTapTap.
There is a strong tendency to push kids into competition. But sports can teach more skills than a potential scholarship, career or Olympic golds. But, when I'm not laying grandious plas for my ds :D, I recognise that sports are most important at this age to lay the groundwork for a life time of physical activity. So I wouldn't push your ds into competition and I would support him to explore other things.
Even my 12 yo nephew, who is supercompetitive in his chosen sport baseball, makes sure he plays in a leisure league for part of the year and plays in other sports. So if your ds decides to focus in one sport, don't let him hyper focus in it.
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Hello all. I am looking for help/advice/exercises etc. to help my dd. She is almost 8 yrs old, and we have determined, through self-assessment, that she has some auditory processing issues. Her hearing is fine (we've had that checked--selective hearing) but I think her problems lie more in the auditory processing and memory. The two things that I've narrowed it down to are: Auditory Memory Enhancement and Auditory Integration Training.
This all came about because we are working on getting her knitting lessons. We have several options and we are trying to figure out who would be most patient with a child who has trouble following instructions. Who cannot remember 2 commands, and who has not the best motor skills. (I'm working on that one, too.)
I'm searching for info here because, quite honestly, I'm not sure it would show up in a test. She's very intelligent, and in a totally focused setting, she might not 'qualify'. And I don't know any pediatric OT folks.
thanks a bunch.
This is a problem for a speech therapist/ speech pathologist, not an OT. (we've had both therapies simultaniously). A competent therapist will be able to test for these problems, though some won't be revealed until more severe problems are partially treated. This is very common problem for LD's.
When you look for a therapist, you want one that treats ALL aspects of speech and language problems. My ds had one speech therapist that would only treat his diction problems. She brushed off all his underlying problems that included deciphering sounds, receptive and expressive language problems, auditory memory problems, tone of voice, etc. So interview possible therapists, ds's last therapist covered all these areas. We polished off his therapy with BrainSkills. Brainskills is no longer available for home use but there are two professionally administered alternatives -- Learning Rx and PACE.
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In the rush to teach her how to work, don't forget that fun is important also. Plus scheduling fun time helps with getting cooperation with the work portion.
I'd try to schedule a game "night" (maybe just a half hour to hour at first) for the entire family. The interactions of other family members will help her ease in and smooth over the rough edges. And from past experience with a 15 yo and being one, there will probably be a lot of sulking, pouting and complaining at first.
Also try to schedule one-on-one time doing what SHE wants to do. Just a half hour will help a week will help. You may want to try this after the family game night to help her ease into things.
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I forgot, compression bags for sleeping bags (primarily) and sometimes clothes. See REI ad other backpacking stores. (Ishki, get some for your dh now. :D )
Also collapsable water containers. I've also seen collapsable bowls, but I haven't tried them.
Can you tell that I'm going stir crazy because we can't go camping this summer? :001_smile:
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It is odd.
.......dh's old room was a sewing room within a week of him leaving for college:lol:
.....
Now that would be weird in my family. I was still a member of the family and still needed my room on weekedends, breaks and summer.........and after I graduated.:001_smile:
Progressive Lenses....???
in General Education Discussion Board
Posted
It took a while, but eventually I adjusted to my progressives. The biggest problem was not being able to scan stock listings in the paper fast and having my periferal vision as sharp in most areas. When my eyes became worse, I still had a bit of an adjustment because I now had to make even finer eye adjustments. But I was mentally prepared.
So deciding that bifocals might be better, I had prescription sunglasses made up as bifocals. Never again! I don't have the range of vision for upclose and intermediate vision I have with my progressives. And the sudden break between distance and close-up drives me crazy. I might consider reading glasses with a tiny distance area on top, but I usually read anymore without glasses at all.