Kathy in MD
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Posts posted by Kathy in MD
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....The worst part will be when dh comes home. He is from a warmer location and these days leave him grinning from ear to ear. He makes it very hard to love him sometimes.
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That's grounds for divorce! :D
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We are now because dh just retired last year. But we were prepared for it because it was planned for. And I think that that is what Suzy Orman was wanting people to do. Prepare while they still have a bit of a cushion. Think about how they can cut back and have time to do some cuts and modifications. And by cutting back now, they can start building their savings.
Dh always insisted that while we were DINKS (double income, no kids), we live on one salary only and buy a house that 50% of the local population could afford. As a result, I could easily afford to quit my job when ds arrived and pay private school tuition, therapy for him and now medical for me.
We did have an advantage in that we were older when we got married and ds didn't come for many years after our marriage. But we could have lived high on the hog as many other DINKS did and not be comfortable now.
The problem is that most people contemplating her advice don't have the time advantage we had because it was our early decisions that made it possible for us to be in the situation we are now. We did have rough patches along the way. But Dh's early decision to do what Suzy is advocating is what makes things comfortable now.
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I enjoyed it, but I couldn't figure out why it's still in print. I wo't require it of my ds.
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Christina,
A plug for my favorite economics book. You may know about it. It's The Worldly Philosophers by Heilbron (sp). It's can only be used as a supplement, but it traces the history of economic thought through short bios of the major economists from Smith on down. It's easy reading, so should have a higher completion rate. There are no economic nuts and bolts to wade through.
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What is CPO? :confused:
It's CPO Science, http://cpo.com. CPO specializes in the physical sciences. I've used two of their 3 middle school texts and love them. They teach the basics before jumping into more complex issues, and tie other sciences into the one being studied. Their definitions and graphics are clear and easy to understand. For middle school, they don't overwhelm the student with excessive info. They determine what is needed and focus on that. However the last few chapters may seem stuck on as they're trying to meet CA requirements. But it's still well done.
I have't seen the high school texts yet.
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Oh, this is terrible news. It looks like ECU is not letting any non-degree students into their classes. I can't imagine why the community college wouldn't let you dual enroll and pay for the course.
Keep us posted. Just when you think you've got it all figured out... everything changes.
A lot of CC's are reporting that they're swamped with applicants as adults are trying to get in to improve their job prospects. Combined with budget cuts for many CC's, many are having to limit enrollment. So as difficult as it is for high school students, it only makes sense that high school students are the first not to be admitted.
It's still a bummer.
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Thanks so much for this information, Kathy. Would you mind updating when you make your decision?
I'm still not real happy, but I've decided. I'm going with Exploring the Way Life Works, by Hoagland. It doesn't get bogged down in detail, so my ds can focus on the essentials. Yet it's short enough (350+ pages) that ds can select many areas to do additional research and I can beef up the areas I think need help. It also uses many analogies and tons of pictures to illustrate things. The book selects a variety of web sites to supplement the text. I like how the web sites include instructions on what to look for and often has questions to be answered.
Each chapter mixes macro with micro biology. I'm not sure how that will work for ds. Will he become confused by constatly jumping in scale, or will it hold his interest because he's not interested in microbiology? The book is light on macro biology, but we can add that on easily. Another problem is that I think that some basic things are glossed over.
Only a teacher's manual is available and it sounds like it's an expanded student text. It includes supplementary info, discussion questions and suggested lecture outlines. I haven't seen any samples. It costs about $77, and I'm not sure I want to spend the money.
My favorite text is CPO's Focus on Life. Ds and I love the basic explanations, the graphic layout, and how everything is integrated. Unfortunately it's a middle school book and I think is too light for high school. So CPO will be used to supplement the basic text.
End result, I have a lot of work to coordinate the texts and supplemental work. :tongue_smilie:
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I second deer. I'm just surprised that they haven't cropped all of the plants.
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.....Tattling. "He took my car." "she stepped on my foot." etc. Tattling is minor offences that both parties should be able to work out. I have found out that usually the tattler is not always completely honest with the situation and it appears that other mamas have noticed this as well. "He took my car." = I want that car he is playing with. "SHe stepped on my foot"= an accident.
Tattling is completely different from coming to an adult for helping them out. ......
But young kids don't have the best judgement in the world. So if the parent calls "stepping on my foot" or "taking my car" tattling, a young kid may consider complaining about being slugged as tattling and not report it.
Then the child needs to learn how to deal with the little irritations of life. If you have a set list of questions to ask the child to do before coming back with a complaint, the child will learn techniques to smooth the social waters yet stand up for himself. And if the tattler is the one who actually started the problem, the adult can get the point across that the guilty party had better straighten up if he wants the other kids to not defend themselves.
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:iagree:
I really do have a much different perspective about tattling than many folks, I guess, because I've noticed that so many people have such a visceral reaction to it!I don't, simply because I want my kids to tell me things. It may be that it's unnecessary, and it may be that their motivation is wrong...but if they aren't coming to me in the first place, then, how do we figure that out? I know others may have something in place to address that, but here, I don't punish/discourage kids communicating to me. I may redirect their approach, or send them back to handle something themselves...but it's not wrong to tell Mom stuff. (It is wrong, however, to use a sing-songy voice and holier-than-thou attitude, lol. Also something we redirect.)
This is sort of what we do at our house, amongst our own kids. I try to teach them to follow a sort of Biblical model, similar to what Christians are encouraged to do with each other (try to work it out with the person yourself, first, then go get someone else).
If a sibling's child was tattling on my kids, and someone gave me the hairy eyeball, I'd just address it the same way: "Did you ask him/her to stop? No? Why don't you do that, and see what happens? If they won't listen to you, come back, and I'll handle it."
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I recently read a study that parents punish tattling about ten times more than they punish lying. And that most "tattlers" have tried to deal with the problem themselves in 13 cases out of 14. (For those of you who like to look stuff up, den Bak and Ross, "I'm Telling!", Social Development 5:3, 1996, and Ross and den Bek-Lammers, "Consistency and Change in Children's Tattling on Their Siblings," Social Development 7:3, 1998.)
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This is why I feel that changing our attitudes about tattling is important. Instead of using this as a teaching opportunity in how to resolve conflict and compromise, the tattler is often scolded and called names by the adults. And before anyone starts saying we don't, on this thread alone I've read the term "snitch", "snitches end up in ditches", "tattletale" and "I hate tattletales".
And I can't help but wonder if the reason the OP's sil wants her dc to tell her about the misbehavior of other children is because the SIL's parents ignored her requests for help because she was "tattling". If she was always ignored and not taught how to deal with problems, she may have overreacted in the opposite direction. She may not trust other adults to intervene when needed because her parents didn't. She just went to the other extreme.
Now there are dc who do carry "tattling" too far, but that can be nipped in the bud by asking the right questions. But how much bullying occurs because adults don't like tattlers?
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You know what I wonder? (Not that you asked.:tongue_smilie:) I wonder...why. Why is endlessly re-enacting wartime a form of family entertainment? What is it about wars that took place on American soil that leads people to glorify them? Now, that's not to say I can't appreciate the historical aspect of it. I like history. I love history! But what strikes me as beyond odd is how common these re-enactments are becoming (and out West here, of all places) and how into it some people get. And yet, not really. Because let's face it. It's a play. And war's not play. War's hell, as anyone who's actually fought in one knows. Which is why those people (at least the ones I know) aren't impressed by the glamourized re-enactments.
Oops. Pardony cynicism. I'll be off now...;)
You're right, but there is a lot more to reenactments than refighting battles.
Often times just a few reenactors will review the lifestyle and equipment of the soldiers. Some reenactors actually teach about medical care, both for the military and civilians. Some focus on food. I've also seen sections devoted to laundry, :glare: soap making and other aspects of daily life. Oftentimes no battle reenactment is scheduled with these demonstrations.
And around here the reenactments take place generally on the actual battle fields, which can help you better understand what roll terrain and strategy played in how a battle fell out.
What may seem strange is the number of reenactors specializing in the Roman empire or various times though the middle ages. OTOH, the state sport here IS jousting and the state flag is a mideval banner.
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......I did have quite a blonde moment, though. I asked the dumbest question in the history of stupid questions. I actually asked one of the soldiers if they ever used real bullets. :001_huh: I swear it was out of my mouth before I could stop it. I felt like such a tool...
But they do use real amputation saws! The guy next to ds's gurney in the ER was in full Civil War regalia. He needed stitches after an almost successful amputation. :lol:
(the shield stopping the saw slipped)
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The states are required by federal law to provide therapy to all preschoolers. State law determines if therapy must be provided to non-public school students. I'm not sure where kidergarteners fall, probably age base.
To ensure coverage, you must write requesting a evaluation and/or therapy and the schools have X days to respond.
I don't know if the schools may *require* a special program. My ds was in 2 programs. One met 2x's/week for 45 min. The second school offered a morning pre-school program, but thought that his Montessori program was sufficient with supplemental ST.
Your local school may be encouraging the preschool program because it covers the entire range of speech and language problems. ST even 2 x's /week, either doesn't cover the entire range of problems or progress can be very slow. And speech problems encompass far more than diction. First, can the child distinguish between sounds? This is often the true source of pronouciation problems. THen there are expressive and receptive language problems. Auditory memory problems can be helped as well as conversation and voice regulation. It might be worth having a full evaluation through the school and seeing what they recommend.
Warning. If the school normally offers a complete language pre-school, the supplemental ST may skip everything except diction.
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I agree that Williamsburg is the sort of place you want to go to more than once. To see it "all" in one trip doesn't give enough time to soak up the atmosphere, and you won't see it all anyway.
If you can do only one trip, the advantage of going to Williamsburg first is that you've set the stage of visual images and societal standards to give background to STOW. And Williamsburg has a good introductory film to fill in the gaps. The recreated Jamestown (a state park) would have a similar impact, though it doesn't give as much of the historical story. The original Jamestown, a national park, would be better after studying the period, IMHO, as would the battlefields at Yorktown NP.
The advantage of going to Williamsburg after studying the period is the the dc would be older and would retain and appreciate it more. However my choice would be to go multiple times if possible and let the kids play and soak up the atmosphere. Williamsburg was my ds's favorite playground in gradeschool and is still a big hit. And my ds's favorite school subject? History.
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Another option would be to make a big pot of chili and serve it with baked potatoes and all the toppings, and a green salad on the side. :001_smile:
And salad dressing on the side too. My bil can't have white vinegar. We just get cider vinegar and oil for him.
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Try to think how YOU will live. Some of the plans posted are really cute but would not work for our family.
There is NO mud room, no closet by the door, etc. You walk right into the kitchen or living area. We are rural and have horses. We need place for boots, etc. that isn't in the main living area. Also think if you need a garage or not, how much storage space, etc. Picture yourself getting groceries--where will you put them, how easy is it to get them into the house, etc.? How about your mops, brooms, etc.---is there a place to store those?
And when you think that you have a good plan, layout it in masking tape full size and go through the motions of how you'll really use it. Do you plan on having two kids use the bathroom at the same time? have them pretend to do it with the elbows flying as they brush teeth and wash faces. For kitchens, maybe even get boxes to help you go through the senario.
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.... but I can't imagine leaving my view. :confused:
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Why do you think I've let my dh talk me out of moving for so long. And now we can't and the neighborhood has been bad for teen boys for a while.
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My ds's primary grade school teacher gave me a different insight into tattling, that may help the general run of the mill stuff. Tattling is how kids of this age start learning about social norms and behaviors.
However, the tattler is always asked "Did you ask him to stop? or share? or ......" If not, the child is sent back to work it out. Only if the problem can't be worked out with the return of one of the participants(or is dangerous), does the adult intervene.
But looking at tattling as a way to learn about what is acceptable, changes the adult's attitude about it for the better. And the adult can better use it as a teaching moment.
But when the adult asks for the tattling, there's problems. Maybe your sil might be resposive to an adult discussion on the purpose of tattling and using it as a teaching moment?
Just had a thought. Did your sil grow up where she was figuratively thrown to the lions because the adults in her life brushed off her real problems as "tattling"? That may give you an opening to start discussions on how to handle it.
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It doesn't surprise me that the gun under the pillow was loaded. It would be useless for home defense if it wasn't loaded. A safety does not prevent it from being fired--it just adds a brief step to get the gun into a firing mode so that it doesn't go off from being jostled or something. A trigger lock does prevent it from being fired, but for an 'immediate danger' situation where a gun is pulled out from under a pillow for defense against an intruder, a trigger lock would slow things down too much to be workable. So it doesn't surprise me that there was none.
For that generation, it's not as common to be hypervigilant on safety issues, including electric sockets, very high decks overlooking rocky ground, guns, etc. However, the underlying assumption is that kids are very thoroughly trained and monitored to keep them safe, and that their parents are responsible for this. That system didn't work so well! I remember news stories about many stupid 'accidental' shootings 20+ years ago--the new focus on safety is responsible for saving a lot of lives, IMO. And most of those were from someone playing with a gun that they thought was not loaded. Crazy.
So. These people will not protect your children. They aren't malicious; they just don't think that way. They might say that they will lock the guns away, but I don't think that I would believe them about that. Not because they are malicious, but this is just not that important to them, and I would doubt that you can possibly convey how important it is to you. They would probably think you were just being silly.
I don't think that you can send you children over there anymore. The downside risk is too serious.
:iagree:
And gun accidents were happening not just 20 years ago, when people might say discipline was breaking down. My mom talked about growing up with a boy that lost an eye because a friend was playing around with his BB gun, and this would have been in the 30's.
BTW, I find it very ironic that there are so many rules and laws about taking my dog with me, even if I want him for protection, yet in many places people can carry concealed guns. They can even be carried into bars where judgement is often impaired. Yet I would trust my dog around kids in a heartbeat, even if they forgot how to behave. Why can't I take my dog with me??????
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Have you and the other parents realized that you are training your dd's to accept whatever abuse a future boyfriend or husband might deal out? And women often are killed in the more violent situations,
This situation is not a momentary blip that can be brushed over. It's across the board. And the parents are not only allowing the coach to intimidate their dd's, but also to intimidate them, the parents. How will the dd's learn to draw the line and get out of a bad relationship before it gets out of hand with this example their parents are setting?
I'm all for letting teens make decisions, but this one needs the parents to step in and stop it NOW. Ideally you could talk to the other parents and let them see it from this viewpoint. Ideally you could also face the administration as a group to tell them either the coach goes, or we go in mass. But if you can't, you need to get your dd out now. Let her know that to stay in that situation may be setting her up to accept abuse later in life. And let her tell her friends this.
I haven't read all the other posts, so it might have been mentioned already.
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Anyone know of a good place online to look at super simple house plans? I love the older style farm houses that were basically divided up boxes. Seems like all the plans now have weird angles and tons of wasted space. :glare:
I grew up around old farm houses. My impression of them? Tons of wasted space. :lol:
Super simple house plans tend to be rectangles or boxes. Old farmhouses tend to a series of tacked on rooms without organization.
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I can't even imagine trying to do a sewing project with my ds! We may die over somethig simple like cooking or photography.
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:iagree:
After moving away from our last dentist, who was constantly harping on me about my DS' poor teeth condition, our new dentist confirmed this is what happened. What a relief to finally be taken at my word that I was, in fact, taking as good of care of my DS' teeth as possible.
My DS had to get an extraction and space maintainer as well. I would really pay for the space maintainer somehow, especially if (as I take your post) your DD is having 2 teeth pulled. Paying for a space maintainer now, could mean that you will have less or no orthodontic work later.
The last few checkups for DS have gone better. He is on Act Kids floride rinse each night, and we switched to an electric toothbrush with a timer so that the cleaning each morning and night are more thourough. The dentist could really tell that we switched toothbrushes because my kids' had little to no buildup on their teeth at their last appointment.
Then we combine this info with another thread that is complaining about floridation, amongst other things, for health reasons. What are we to do? Which is the worse risk? How do we evaluate? And I think I've just started another thread. Sorry
Musings on beauty...
in General Education Discussion Board
Posted
I think this works on several levels.
1) If we try to be well groomed, it affects how we feel about ourselves. We feel inside that we are worth the extra effort and that shows in how we carry ourselves.
2) When we carry ourselves well, show we have selfconfidence, others respond to us better.
3) When I was overweight by a lot, I didn't worry about my appearance. I lost weight and bought new clothes and it helped my attitude and others'. Yet I have known others who were very overweight, still dressed with flair and confidence and people responded.
4)What we wear often sends a message we don't mean to. A couple of years ago, my ds discovered hoodies. He'd go around with the hood up and his hands jambed in his pockets. If I didn't know him, I would have avoided him. He looked like trouble. Being forced to wear a suit to a wedding suddenly changed his attitude, partially because of how others react. He now wears his suit to church without any prompting, but the other kids are still wearing jeans and other super casual clothing. When I 1st out of college, I had a cute skirt and blouse I wore all the time. Then I had a sales rep assume I was a brainless, secretary (sorry to the secretaries) speak condensendingly to me. He had no idea that his paycheck depended on my being happy. That was the last day I didn't wear a suit to work.