[Pectus Excavatum Anyone with experience please?]

One of my teens has pectus excavatum. The pediatrician checks it every year but hasn't recommended doing anything.

He's currently playing a noncontact fall sport and complaining his chest hurts. Last week, I called but couldn't get a sick visit (rising covid numbers). The secretary suggested urgent care. I took him and he had x-rays. Nothing found. It was suggested he take Advil. When his sport ends in two weeks, I plan on getting an appointment with the pediatrician.

He's looked online and he's wondering if physical therapy would help? Has anyone done this and found it helpful? And yes, there's surgery but that's not been suggested yet.  Thanks

[Ordering a headstone]

I live in a small town where most of the very small cemeteries were setup by long ago families. After living here a while, I noticed that those cemeteries get veteran's flags on the holidays and that they get mowed. So...long story short there's a local guy that handles that. But to find him, you'd need to call the town hall.

The library is also next to the town hall. In small towns they know everything. I would also suggest calling the library. Ours is only open 2.5 days a week.

Even crazier if there's a barber shop try there.

[When homeschooling hasn’t gone how you expected…]

My kids are close in age so I have three that are over 18 and driving me crazy😬  The teen years were nothing compared to this! And yes, I did doubt myself and cry tons. 

At this juncture, what seems to help is when I have moments were I really do enjoy them. Those moments happen because I plan them. It also helps that I still have some teenagers in the house. The over 18s still very much like the teenagers. So, for example, a night of stupid movies (that I would never watch) and some amazing dessert.  I ask them to vote on which night works for the them and the activity. I don't vote, just toss out ideas. Obviously, this happens more in the summer than during the school year.

During these moments, I do not talk about anything that's driving me crazy. Why does your car still need an inspection sticker? So, you lost the spare key to your car, have you made a copy yet? Did you pay that parking ticket? Did you schedule your next dentist appointment? (These are the smaller things that I can share publicly. There's way bigger stuff that makes me crazy)

Also, it's hard to watch them waste their potential and it's even harder when everyone else seems to have over 18s that don't make them crazy. Hang in there. Mine haven't found their paths yet but I still keep believing they will.

 

[Basement laundry if I could have 2 washers and dryers?]

I have a washer and two dryers in the basement. Only myself & dh are on the second floor. Teens are on the first floor. This house came with a laundry chute on the first floor. I cannot hear the basement machines when they're done so I use a kitchen timer.

You didn't ask the question but if you're open to advice....that many loads makes me think you have more than two kiddos? I want to encourage you to get the kids doing their own laundry. By puberty, each kid generates a load a week. Clothes are bigger cause the kids are bigger 🙂 They each have a hamper for their dirty clothes. On their "laundry day" they dump laundry down the chute and do their own laundry. It eliminates the sorting problem because it's one kid per day. At the start of each semester and the start of the summer, they figure out their own "laundry day" schedules and post it on the door to the chute.

On the topic of laundry chutes, some cities/towns/counties do not allow them in the building codes. Some homeowners insurances change more.

[In light of the infamous televised slap, help me with this parenting issues]

I've read all the responses.

The only thing I might add is that in our house when something like this has happened we trying to keep the "non-punishment" of our kiddos discreate. So, DD9 doesn't run around telling her classmates that you high-fived, bought ice cream, neglected the letter, etc. I don't need to hear from other parents, group leaders, teachers, etc who disagreed with the way I parented the situation.

We just had an incident but much, much, much, less difficult situation at at group activity. Younger kiddo used a swear word when he thought someone was being mean to older kiddo. (No violence) The adults in charge expected that younger kid would be punished at home.  I nodded to the adults in charge but didn't share how we planned to address the problem at home. (I did get the full story from both kids later on)

On the opposite side, if I had given a punishment, I still wouldn't have discussed it with people outside our home. Kids are allowed a long time to grow up with lots of room for mistakes. None of that is anyone else's business.

[dd 11 has rosacea]

I finally found a wonderful dermatologist. She was just out of school. It took a couple of tries to find the right cream. I use it morning and night.

I was in my early 40s when it started to show up. So, I don't know anything about children with rosacea. None of my teens/early20's kiddos have it.

[What age do you stop tucking your kid into bed?]

On 7/11/2021 at 6:58 AM, HomeAgain said:

DS11 decided last year he was ready to turn off his own light.  Our routine is that at 8pm he heads up to bed, reads until 9, and tucks himself in.

 

Theoretically.  🤣

 

In reality: most nights he heads up to bed at 8, I check on him at 9:30/9:45, take the book, have a nice chat while tucking him in, and turn off his light.

 

We just don't call it "tucking in" anymore, because he's supposed to be doing this himself and I don't want him to feel like I'm taking it back over, but we're still doing the same thing with a slightly different expectation.

This is my life.

[Just a whiny post about my taste and smell.]

I completely understand the crying over dinner. I lost my taste and smell for about nine to twelve months due to Covid.  There were times that I was fine and could handle the weirdness. There were other times that it was emotionally overwhelming.

I would like to give you a little hope. About the nine month mark, I was able to recognize salt, sugar or spicy foods. So, I was getting the taste of sugar from vanilla ice cream or dark chocolate but they both seemed to taste the same. Same for BBQ sauce and hot sauce. Shortly after that my primary put me on an Rx for Fluticasone for 90 days. When I started the prescription, I didn't even realize the spray had a smell. I cannot be sure if it was the prescription or if I was my own body but gradually taste and smell came back at about the year mark. I only did the rx for 90 days.

I take a daily multivitamin but I didn't up the zinc or do any smell training. For some reason considering doing those things just make be cry.

At eighteen months out from Covid there a still a few "off" days. A couple of days a month, I have a metallic taste. Sometimes I cannot smell very strong things, like gas when I fill the car. But I'm so thankful for where I'm at now. BTW that first year, I lost about a pound a week. So just keep an eye on that.

[I do not enjoy scouts, what do I do?]

Thanks Let me try to address the money issues. I was the treasurer of the Pack for a billion years.

The biggest expense is called registration or rechartering. Ours was due in January. That amount is set by the council. It's running about $125/yr. ALL OF THAT MONEY goes to council. None of it helps to run the Pack or Dens. The parents pay the $125 registration for their Scout. The pack paid for the adult leaders' $125 each year. The pack also pays for what ever happens at a pack mtg. Packs meeting happen once a month. Generally, run by the Cubmaster. This gives the den leaders "sort of" one week "off" a month.  To fund things that happened during pack meetings and the leaders' registration, the entire Pack participated in one to three car washes per calendar year. 

Stuff that happens during a den meeting was covered in one of three ways. Which the parents were told about in September. Dens either collected $X per week for the den leader to spend on stuff. Or the den leader brought in the receipt and the den parents split the receipt each week. Or the leader gave the kids a list each week and the kids brought the stuff in. Please bring a 6' piece of wood etc. Weird but it did work for one den. 

Finally, at the place we met there was a Pack cabinet. All the den leaders had the code. It had markers, hammers, rope, trash bags, etc., etc., All the dens could use anything as long as they put it back. The cabinet was organized and restocked once a year out of car wash money. Sometimes parents donated stuff to the cabinet. It's also where the leaders' books were kept.

Does your pack have leaders/committee meetings? Do you have an assistant den leader? Do you have a Pack treasurer? Den meetings should only last one hour. Stop feeding the den. We only had food at the monthly Pack meetings because they ran 90 minutes.

I don't have any opinion if you should keep volunteering but I do think you need to find the Cubmaster and the Pack's treasure asap possible to handle all of your questions.

If you want, I can offer other advice about your other questions. But I wanted to get the financials addressed first because it seems to be your biggest concern right now.

Finally, it's fine to cancel a meeting if you have personal event. Or let your Assistant Den leader run that meeting

[Does anyone have experience with property fence issues?]

I would suggest taking pictures and video of the fence now.  Then go to city/town hall and ask questions. Be very nice and wait cause sometimes sloths work there.😃 Finally, hire a surveyor and have the surveyor mark the property line with paint, chalk, etc.

This was enough to get a neighbor to stop verbally harassing us over where we parked our cars in our driveway in our first home. For some reason when the line was marked the guy stopped talking to us about our cars. We able to find someone that just charged for that one side.

[If you gave up sugar…]

Do you mean foods that are obviously sugar, like candy, cake, cookies? The first step was never to eat those items on an empty stomach. They had to be eaten directly after a balanced meal. So, no eating those items in late afternoon or just before bedtime.

It seems easiest to start with breakfast. That's a meal where the sugar is obvious. I wasn't eating cookies, cake etc. directly after breakfast. That felt like the first meal that I could successfully eliminate sugar.

Small steps. You can do it!

[Oh no, I have a teenager now. Help me think through this.]

I have lots of kids, so I understand schedules and space, etc. I also have mostly college aged and high schooled age in my house now. So, I understand the transition in parenting.

You didn't mention this, so I may be way, way off track. Feel free to ignore me. But does she have any outside activities? Something you drop her off and pick her up later?   I live in a place where my homeschooled teens could play sports at the high school. They get a break from me every day and they get some serious exercise.

You daughter is close to my son's age. I currently have a 12 year old. He has four different activities, four days a week, after school that each last 90 minutes. Half are drop offs. I'm getting him ready to be able to leave in the afternoons during high school. (I understand family finances, we've found some cheaper activities.)

 

[How are your supermarket shelves?]

This was last week on a weeknight not the weekend.  There was no fresh chicken at all

[How are your supermarket shelves?]

I’ve never posted pictures 

If you look closely at the floor, you can see an aisle has been removed

[Does anyone live in or near (or know anything about) Newport, RI?]

There's Newport Car Museum (in Portsmouth, RI) a few minutes drive from downtown Newport.

In Newport there's a Ben & Jerry's, a milkshake place Kaffeology, and an old fashioned arcade Ryan's Family Amusements.

[What is Covid looking like in your community now?]

I'm in a high vax state but this morning, I went for a PCR covid test and I'm super annoyed about it.

My kid has an indoor 90 min activity with strict masking. I was standing closeish to a mom that is new to the activity for the last 30min. All three masked and two vaxed. I don't know the third mom's vax status this was the first time I met her.

The third mom tested positive a few days ago. The activity won't restart until me and the other vax mom are tested.

I got a phone call Fri night from the coach. So, spend $24 on the rapid OTC test. Myself and my kid came back negative. The other vax mom was able to get a rapid test at work. Rapid was negative. She's also PCR testing this morning.

The team is still waiting on the positive mom's kid's test results. So today's event was cancelled. Waiting to see if Monday's event is cancelled.

So, even in high vax states this stupid virus is still interrupting life.

[URGENT: Hive vs Havenly - design my school room please!]

32 minutes ago, prairiewindmomma said:

Do you want separate stations like this?
https://thecottagemarket.com/back-school-diy-homework-stations-will-make-kids-want-study/
 

or a long wall like this that Joanna Gaines did: 

 

 

My college kids live at home and commute to State U.  They rearranged a room to look like this picture. 

I couldn't work that close to together 🙂 but it seems to work for the three of them.

[I gave up and hired a designer]

I tried Havenly probably more than five years ago. They provided a list of lovely things to buy.  They definitely did a good job fleshing out things that I would like. I did purchase some of the items they suggested.

However, I really needed help with making those things fit in the awkward living room. (Two sets of french doors, an opening to the hallway, and a regular sized front door.) At that time, they didn't offer that service.

Crossing my fingers that they can help you.

[50/50 parenting]

I've got a relative that did one week on/on week off.  Day care was in the middle of the two homes. That worked very well for a number of years. When they child got to kindergarten, the parents picked a private school in the same area as the daycare.

This probably varies by state, but with a 50/50 split the parents I know need to live in the same public school district. I would not worry about Kindergarten just yet.

[Question about estate and probate claims. Kind of long.]

I have a weird distant family story like yours. The heir signed something simple for the step sibling, "Hey, can you sign you sign for the moving truck?" Then the step sibling used that signature to started forging the heir's signature on all kinds of documents.

At this point, believe that no one is telling the truth.

You need an attorney in the state that the house is located. Maybe post the state and someone here can suggest an attorney.

[August Frugalistas 2021]

1 hour ago, cjzimmer1 said:

Plus in our state they are no longer required to take driver's ed if they wait until 18 and when you have a lot of kids that turns into a huge money savings over the years.  The state puts out learning materials that I make the kids study and then they go take the test to get their permit.  Once they pass that, I teach them how to drive and then they get their license.  Of course not everyone has it them to teach their kids to drive but it's worked well for us so far.  I'll be teaching number 3 to drive this fall.

 

This is very dependent on the state you live in.

In my state if Teen A gets a license at 16.5 and never buy a car and/or gets cars insurance until they turn 25 years old the insurance companies in my state will count all those years (16.5-25) as "good driving credit".

Teen A's insurance at 25 will be lower than Teen B if Teen B waits until 25 to get a license. Even factoring in the cost of drivers-ed classes.

Strange? Yes! But we have lots of teens and have checked into this every time someone learns to drive.

[Random health insurance question (US, obviously)]

1 hour ago, plansrme said:

If she did this, she most likely engaged in insurance fraud. Carrying a non-spouse, non-domestic partner, non-dependent on one's employer plan is almost certainly insurance fraud. It might also be tax fraud. Massachusetts is a possible exception, but everywhere else, if you are caught doing this, you risk losing your job, having to repay any claims paid out, criminal or civil penalties, etc. It's not cool, and it's not fair to the employer. People who do this count on not getting caught, as with any other crime, but the ramifications of getting caught are pretty serious, as they should be.

She was a city employee in MA.  The decision happened during court proceedings. So, no fraud involved. Trust me, she was in no way eager to cover her ex-husband.

Weird, I didn't know it was a unique situation in her state.

[Random health insurance question (US, obviously)]

I know a female that carried her ex-husband and his minor child (not her child) for a couple of years after the divorce on her health insurance in an ACA state. I don't know any details as to how/why that happened. The divorce was four years ago.

The ex-husband was employed in a similar industry with slightly less income than the ex-wife. The minor child had no preexisting conditions. The minor child's mother was alive and underemployed but she had never provided the health insurance and had limited visitation.

[Anyone opting out of the Child Tax Credit monthly payments?]

We're trying to opt out. The website is a huge pain. We missed the deadline for July. Going to keep trying. If we cannot figure out the website then we'll just accumulate that money until tax time.

From what I've read, if you tend to pay taxes or have a variable income, it's suggested to opt out. YMMV

 

[Is it possible to pay one person off from an estate, from the house, before finishing probate?]

My father is one of three siblings. He was bought out of my grandparent's home by his other two siblings. The siblings kept the house for many years after the buyout. 

So, it seems possible but my guess is that state laws might vary.