MomatHWTK
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Posts posted by MomatHWTK
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I used Reading Rescue 1-2-3 to get some ideas for helping my DS. I also used the "To, With, By" method with all the children. I required and still require minimal handwriting because it causes DS extreme difficulty. But really, I didn't get anywhere until he was about 9 and he hated all the regular phonics programs. I'm not sure which of his conditions causes it- but perfectionism combined with limited mood control make it difficult for him to handle any thing difficult.
I now introduce most information in a very non-threatening way. We do some testing to help him ease into the idea but I always help and there's no "grade" at the end. He needs to experience successes right now so we work toward that goal.
One thing that sees to help all of my kids read better is highlighting. I open a pdf document on the computer, then use the mouse to highlight words or sections of a word as they read it. If this isn't possible, you can do something similar by covering part of the word or pointing to just one letter sound at a time. Visually, they all have trouble finding and keeping their place so these physical helps are useful.
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Some of these texts have interactive sites to accompany the materials. I thought they looked fun- if you understand chemistry. (I hope to someday). ;)
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I chose other. Initially I went to church out of obligation. Then for a time, to worship. Now I go primarily to serve. I don't necessarily believe that I will always need to do as much as I do right now and sometimes I wish that break time would come sooner than later. I try not to get a bad attitude about what needs to be done and struggle to say "no" to one particular job because even though I can do it, I really don't want to and usually end up unhappy/resentful if I say "yes."
I try to remind myself that the harvest is great and the workers are few, yet balance that with the real need to keep my own spiritual cup full. Besides, I didn't go to church at all for YEARS so I'm making up for all my absences. ;)
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I think if you read your first post you will see that you did type, "tongues would wag" because that's where I copied the quote.
You asked "WWYD" and you've gotten those answers. I would not assume my need to worship in a restful way was more important than this child and his family who for some reason God had chosen to send to my church home. I would assume that God had some role for me to play since He had brought the family to my attention and I would worry more about discerning that role than what other people thought about me. But, as I mentioned I am also involved in our children's program and have a SN child so these steps would probably occur to me right away. I usually do greet new families and address and assess the children's needs right away. And, we have had some kids in the past that I have agonized over how to best serve. I have also failed miserably sometimes as I let my own feelings overcome what I should do to be a good witness.
Read your posts with fresh eyes, see what you did actually say about your church, this family, and your needs and ask yourself what God would have you do. Because really, it's not about what we would do in a similar situation but what you need to do in yours that matters. Maybe you aren't the one who is supposed to step up for this family, maybe it's someone else in the congregation. You mentioned that you are asked to do a lot already. Are you able/allowing yourself to do the things that truly are your spiritual gifts? I know when I am pulled in directions out a feeling of obligation that aren't my gift areas it is much less fulfilling. I understand that there are lots of needs to be filled, but your posts to me just seem to speak of a level of frustration that goes beyond this one situation. It is wonderful that you are willing to do so many jobs, but not if it comes at the expense of your own spiritual growth and peace. I just wonder if the child would seem less upsetting to you if you had more opportunities to be fulfilled at other times.
I guess what I am saying is that if I couldn't relax at my mother's church on Sunday mornings, I would definitely allow myself to find a place where I could worship as myself, doing what God called me to do. What I am seeing from the outside is that you need to change things, and maybe not just this one situation.
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I use a can of tomato juice, salt, garlic, and red pepper. Then I add about 1/2 lb. ground beef (cooked). I use 4 different types of beans- 1 can red, 1 can white or navy, 1 can pinto and 1 can black beans. Call it calico chili. ;) If you want to kick it up a notch, add salsa or picante sauce to taste. If you want more chunks (my kids don't:glare:) add a can of diced/stewed tomatoes.
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I mean:
You said "Wow would tongues wag if we went somewhere else!" That's gossip. You are telling us that your fellow church members gossip.
You said: "If I give them special attention then other congregants will be hurt." That smacks of jealousy to me. You can't meet someone's needs because someone else might not have that need, doesn't need you to minister to them in that way, yet might get upset if you did what Jesus would do?
No, I wouldn't find that place of worship to be restful. It just seems to me that there are so many expectations that you can't do what needs being done. :(
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I don't think I could ever has restful worship in a place where people would gossip about me if I wasn't there because I chose to worship God elsewhere or became jealous if I made a special effort to offer God's love and ministry to someone in need. :confused:
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Don't evaluate it by the day. Based on your follow up comments, I would suggest that you set aside some time to think about how you spend your time. I am all for taking care of my kids, but not at the expense of a loss of self.
True, DH is the one to get short-changed most often because the kids have real needs that must be met like it or not. But, it's not my intention to make that a permanent situation. He's the one I'm planning to grow old with, my children will hopefully be moving on to grow old with someone of their own.
I also don't want my children to think they are entitled to endless service- my mom did/does that and I am a spoiled brat. :glare:
If what you truly enjoy and fulfills you is taking care of your kids, then do it and enjoy it. BUT, along the way make sure to pass on that giving nature to them. Have an honest talk about who they are and who they want to be, how they want to treat others. Sometimes we take people for granted simply because we've never looked at life from their perspective.
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We use several online subscription based resources so I sorted my curricula for the year into categories by time left and made myself a little reminder chart.
Bible is first in our day, but right now that is just a devotional reading. Next are the classes through the online program that ends in July. We aren't going to be able to finish everything that program has to offer because it covers several subject areas and grade levels. So instead of completion I am looking to at least do 1-2 of the available classes per day. Ideally we would do more because there are 5-6 great subjects covered by the classes, but that would tend to overwhelm my students. ;)
Then we do our online course that has an actual schedule and deadlines with assignments due. This one ends in 3 more weeks.
Next, is VP self-paced. I have this subscription for longer, but there is a lot of material to cover so we need to try to keep up with it.
After that I have a collection of read-alouds on different topics and I try to do one of those a day. These have no deadline, they are just things we should be learning or are of interest to the kids.
Finally, we work on math, writing, reading and spelling. These are last because the kids are split up for some of these and the materials are open ended. My oldest has LDs and we've been working on getting those under control this year so I would say we are "behind" in these particular subjects. But, we will be hitting them harder once we start the new school year in July and our subscription based materials expire.
DS had indepent reading that had I assigned every day would be finished by the end of this school year, but I skipped some days. Looking at the bookmark placement, I think we are in pretty good shape. I'm going to sit down today and see how many pages are left in each book then decide whether to accelerate his reading schedule or carry the books over into the next year.
So basically, anything with an external deadline gets priority. Everything else gets handled on a case by case basis. :)
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The Three R's
Before Five in a Row
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Have them tell each other about what they are reading- call it "Read and Tell". :)
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Just stumbled upon this in my net surfing adventures:
http://www.wiley.com/college/boyer/0470003790/animations/animations.htm
We are studying DNA in another curricula right now so it's perfect for us.
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Homeschool Buyer's Coop has a few offerings for typing programs. Clever Dragons/Always IceCream offers drills for typing. There is a SpongeBob Squarepants typing game (really) and a game called TyperShark that are not full curricula.
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My son wore a medic alert bracelet, observant people will get that visual clue.
I have not found organized mom/kid groups to be very welcoming or a good fit for us. In some groups, my child just couldn't conform to the behavior they expected and there were a lot of looks. People didn't want their kids picking up bad habits from mine. In another group that was made up of kids who got "the looks" elsewhere, I was the one who felt like giving the looks! I didn't feel like the parents were staying on top of things and trying to teach their kids. I wanted a place where my child could experience interaction and develop the necessary skills and with children who don't come by that naturally you have to stay active in guiding them (IMO). So we kind of ended up going our own way.
Take advantage of the fact that your DS is small. Now is the time to take him out to places where he can have limited social interaction and get used to it- before he looks his age. We started with trips to the store, getting used to the sales clerks and other people there. Small churches- not in the kids' group, just around the adults. We went to the zoo or the local park during the day or other places where there would be a few young kids but not hordes- i.e. go to the library but not for story time (yet). Yard sales were a good place for us. There's usually an adult hanging out in the middle of the day willing to make small talk and lots of little toys that the kids could look through.
Go ahead and pre-brief your child about what to expect as you go along. If you walk into the library and see an activity or something going on, pull him aside and explain to him right then what is it. Then, let him watch from a distance while you guys do your own thing. Take small steps and build up his reserve of knowledge.
My son needed to just walk along the edge of the water for quite awhile before getting his feet wet. And... he still doesn't swim like anyone else. ;)
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For my first (who does have LDs it turns out), the issues wasn't that I felt he was "behind" in comparison to others though I know he was. The issue was that he was not able to learn the concepts. I knew my child, I knew his overall abilities and his reading was not conforming to that curve at all. He was unhappy and frustrated. So I read a book about remediation and started using the suggestions and they worked.
So whether you call it a "remedial resource" or just "another way of teaching the topic for a kid who doesn't get it" doesn't matter to me. What is important to me is that I keep him on some sort of progression. I would guess that we are behind in several subjects right now by some standards. I would also guess that we are ahead in others. But it really doesn't matter. I keep moving forward, I keep moving my children forward and if they struggle with standard materials I turn to the resourses that help. "Remedial" is just a search term for me. :)
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I try to make sure visitors at our church know who to ask if they need help with their child and offer up activity packages or other resources. So, in my position (de facto children's church person because I'm there early and look like a mom;)), I am able to get to know families well enough to offer up specific helps. It takes time. I know the ladies at church went very slowly with me when we first joined, letting me share our struggles when I was ready and just listening to my concerns and encouraging me in the meantime. I'm very grateful for that group of ladies.
In the meantime, is your church a single column set up? Would it be less distracting if you sat to the far left or right? Could you sit on a far side but closer to the front so that if you had leave you could go up the side aisle? Honestly, I don't know that if you sat right up front and had to leave it would be that terrible- does it happen often? People are human with human frailties, your church can surely accept yours. :grouphug:
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If two out of the three kids are moderately well behaved and one seems "out of control" I might assume he has some sort of disability and the parents are doing what they can. (Because that's what it would mean in our household.) If you were feeling very confident you might talk to the family and ask why their DS has such a hard time sitting through the service.
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It is very much going to depend on your relationship with your sister. Is she going to be defensive and angry if you say, "I don't want my children to see/experience this?" Logistically, would she or her DH remember or be willing to refrain from what they see as acceptable punishment while your children were visiting? (I have a relative who might very well just do what they wanted and hope I didn't find out.)
I think there is going to be an issue if you are asking your mother to monitor the situation for extended visits. You should be the one to tell your sister why your kids can't be at her house or alone with her rather than asking mom to do so. But you'll have to be prepared for a less than positive reaction.
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Try doing a search using the specific terms for each charateristic. Here's a guide I found, but some of the images didn't load for me:
http://www.clemson.edu/extfor/publications/bul117/characteristics.htm
Once you have a list of characteristics, especially the ones that seem most unique then do the search and maybe it will pull up more techincal identification guides.
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I'm down to 14, but I'm not telling the kids that. :coolgleamA:
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My personal opinion is that no one cares if a child in the course of normal conversation (or what is normal for that child) says something that sounds clever or demonstrates and "advanced" knowledge. It would appear to be bragging to me if the parent prompted the output, instructing the child to talk about things that the parent knows will demonstrate their advancement.
I also think that a parent can go too far in drawing attention to a comment after the fact. Sometimes you have to comment because of the response of the other adult, but in most cases the kid just says what the kids says and then it's over. No need to say anything.
I do tend to fall back on the "Well he really likes [insert subject]" or "He's just always been good at that." But that's only when the other person is responding positively.
We don't ask our children to self-censor, but we also don't encourage them to talk just for the sake of talking. Beyond academics, I feel the same way about sports or any other achievements. It's great if someone asks, but I really don't like it when the parent prompts the child to talk about their successes in a casual setting. It is a tough call and probably a very personal one though. Some families are more outgoing and more sharing than this introvert momma is anyway. :D
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What do you feel is going wrong?
FWIW, I used HWOT with my first child, a little HWOT with my 2nd, and pretty much just free printables with my 3rd. I demonstrate the technique for writing a letter on a white board or piece of paper and the middle two kids then have a printing copy book. I am doing the same with my oldest using cursive.
I will say that they all did learn proper pencil grip by watching the oldest who has the HWOT training. Even the littlest has seen how the other kids hold their pencils and mimics it. So at least we have that step correct. :)
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I have had that happen when they are offering a special- especially when they offer several items at once.
What I found is that as long as I've selected the item, it will show in my downloads/purchase history and I can go and get it later. Just be sure to check your history page to make sure the item is there before the offer expires.
My cake sagged in the middle again.
in General Education Discussion Board
Posted
You can get a similar result by sitting the entire pan in a larger pan filled with shallow water. (I saw it on a cooking show- keeps the edges of cheese cakes moist.) ;)
I would consider just a pinch more leavening in your recipe.