Jump to content



  • Posts

  • Joined

  • Last visited

Posts posted by Candid

  1. Absolutely.


    Stop means stop.

    No means no.

    Continue at your own peril and don't come whining to me about the results.


    Don't care what your intention was, don't care if they normally have the patience of Job about it, don't care if you thought it was funny and he just doesn't have a sense of humor, don't care if he started off laughing about it, don't care if everyone thought you were so smart and funny for it, don't care once you heard stop it in any form, and you didn't - you had a hard thump or two coming.


    Another Law & Order point here, given events on college campuses in recent years, all boys need to learn that stop means stop even if it doesn't sound like stop. 


    This does not mean the OPs son is bad or evil, just that this is a teachable moment. 

    • Like 4
  2. Okay people. Let's get real here. I'm with homeschool mom in AZ on this one.


    And I would not even remotely presume the kid who finally got fed up and tossed a ball at his head actually intended to break anything or is going to beat his colicky baby 8 years from now.


    A lot depends on context. I can totally see the ball throwing being a natural and reasonable response between two teen boys. Most likely not delivered like a serious punch so much as a thump upside the head to quit being a jerk message bc the guy had quite rightly reached his limit of crap taking and given notice about it. Glasses can break pretty easily. And whether it was intended or not, boys playing anything are going to break glasses, it's just a matter of when.


    I agree that context and circumstances are important. 


    My family is athletic (except for me). So over the years a lot of balls and other objects have gotten tossed at people, probably some in the face. They know better than to do mom, who's inept, but anyone else in family and on a team would be expected to catch the thing. My husband when coaching once said, "If you are afraid of the ball, it will find you." Kids get hit by balls all the time. My oldest's first game of kid pitch he got hit square in the helmet, got knocked off his feet, but sprang right up and took first. 


    I would hope that they know better than to do this randomly, but in a PE class, I can understand why a young man might decide to throw a ball. And at this age, kids have learned some of the unwritten rules of sports, in baseball, the pitcher on a high school team is aware that certain transgressions can and may well be punished by throwing at the opposing team members, and even lousy high school pitchers can throw 70. It certainly explains why good athletes at this level who wear glasses, either switch to contacts or get goggles. (and hey OP, if you are still reading, that might not be a bad idea, even though this incident sounds intentional there are lots of things that happen unintentionally). 


    If the ball tosser's mom is okay, then I'm going to make an assumption that she knows her child and can make the right decision. Just like the OP can also assess this incident and decide is this something her child just needs her to say, "Well next time shut up already, it could have been worse." Or does he need something more? I don't know. Only she does. 


    But both moms should parent for their children's future conduct. 

  3. Excellent thoughts.  I know that adults in this situation would have to pay harsh consequences.  The grown-up using the weapon would be charged with battery, at the least, and perhaps worse, depending on the damage done.  The grown-up taunting the other guy would end up beat up, or disabled, or dead.  Both need to learn how to deal with their issues.  Perhaps counseling is in order.


    My thought picture is to help only the parent you can control. It is up to each parent to decide whether their child needs more help or just a parental talk. They need to evaluate based on more than one incident. For the OP, does her child go to far, push at people and not understand their reactions? I don't know. With teenagers it could be a one shot thing too. Only the OP and the parent of the other boy can evaluate. 

  4. I think you've gotten lots of good advice, I used to do this thing I called "Law& Order Parenting"  It was a way for me to think about events in children's lives vs. adult lives. 


    In this case I'd fast forward about 6 or 7 years and ask so what happens if this occurs in the future. Suppose my kid is at an adult socialization venue. He mouths off to someone. They don't like it. They respond. Sure, the physical response is probably going to earn that person some jail time, especially if they have a weapon to use. So if they were my kid I'd be talking about that with them. BUT what about your kid in that future scenario? Well he could be dead, scared, confined to a wheelchair for life, etc. So while the legal system would see him as the victim there could be really tough real work consequences for mouthing off to the wrong person. So that's what I'd work with him on. You've told the other mother. You might let the adults in charge know what happened. It sounds like there might be too much down time in PE class. Maybe a few more laps should be run, push ups done, etc. 

    • Like 9
  5. I haven't posted in a really long time, but I have a need for information about how long it takes to buy a house in France.


    Here's the story: we are selling our house here in the US. A buyer has made an offer with a pretty long out closing date due to a house they are selling in France where they currently live and work. 


    Does anyone know how long it takes to close a piece of property in France?

  6. Oh of course they know whether you are alumni or not. That was not what I was referring to in the post you quoted.

    I was referring to the college knowing parents' financial situation. I have no idea how they could.


    Oh, they knew we'd given, too, but as a former nonprofit board member I can tell you that there are donor lists that can be purchased and development admins at colleges and universities do have access to those and do keep an eye on admissions. My experience is that most large donors expect a lot of quid pro quo so they will also reach out to the development office (or have their people do it). The book I mentioned talked about that. At Harvard, for instance, they have special "board" or "panel" for large donors.


    While I am sure that there are modest and unassuming donors out there, there are plenty that begin establishing contacts early. 

  7. ??? How would the college even know whether parents can pay full tuition? The application does not include financial information.


    And yes, students can be accepted without being an athlete, having rich parents, or a having a parent who is an alumnUS.


    But most students will not attend top ranked colleges - nor should they.



    My husband and I both went to one of the few top ranked public universities. Just before the end of the year (read the "giving season") we both got a letter address to us as alumni givers and parents of applicant. 


    It is silly to think they don't know. Every insider book I've read even as a term for it "development admits."


    If you want to learn about the role of money in admission to top schools read the Price of Admissions. Some will claim it is dated, but money has the same paths it always had.

  8. I have this book and plan to use it with DD: http://www.amazon.com/Systematic-Theology-Introduction-Biblical-Doctrine/dp/0310286700/ref=sr_1_1?s=books&ie=UTF8&qid=1420479318&sr=1-1&keywords=systematic+theology


    For our Bible studies, I usually ask DD which sections she would like to read thereby engaging her interest.  Then we start to delve into that section until we're done.  We both have the HCSB Student Apologetics Bible which incorporates any twisted scriptures, archeology, and other notes within the text.  We begin by reading the background introduction and then go chapter by chapter.  While reading each chapter, we highlight using the GOAL Journal method provided by Simply Charlotte Mason: https://simplycharlottemason.com/store/goal-bible-study-journal/

    and their Discovering Doctrine Journal: https://simplycharlottemason.com/store/discovering-doctrine-personal-bible-study/


    Other resources which may help and I plan to use:


    At the same time, we are studying apologetics in the evenings.  I believe this is crucial to get her ready for the anti-Christian/religion bombardment she will face in college.  To accomplish this goal I have several resources.


    I'm curious about the Simply Charlotte Mason resources. They look intriguing, but they give such little information that I can't figure it out. The age ranges on the GOAL journal is huge.


    So can you tell us about:

    Instruction provided? Do you need other products or stand alone?

    What does the student do?

    Point of view? Distinct theology?

    If an older student (high school) worked on this what pacing would you suggest?

  9. I'm in the just read the Bible camp. The National Survey of Youth and Religion found only 3 factors that correlated positively with a teen staying in church five years past 18 and reading the Bible themselves was one of them. I don't think that would be to much reading for a class and I might consider having her read something like this as a go along: http://www.amazon.com/What-Bible-All-About-Revised-NIV/dp/0830759662/ref=sr_1_1?ie=UTF8&qid=1420459139&sr=8-1&keywords=what+the+bible+is+all+about(KJV version is also available).

  10. To repeat what others have said, what he likes in my opinion, is epic poetry. Milton really is the tale end of that, hence no American equivalent. However I'd challenge him to go back and pick up some of the things he missed. Iliad, Odyssey, Aeneid, Beowulf, The Fairy Queen. 


    If he wants something that influenced Americans especially in regards to religion, then Pilgrim's Progress is the book. For a long time it was the number two best selling, most read book, especially by American Christians. He should remember that just because something isn't American doesn't mean that it isn't influential. Along the same lines, he can then go to Hawthorne's short stories and maybe Uncle Tom's Cabin. But those were much, much later in terms of influence and less religious in terms of their influence. 

  11. Thanks.  I've often wondered about Tapestry but I wasn't sure if the price was worth it for lower grammar kids (it seems like where it really shines is in rhetoric).  This is a great way to have a free look.  


    Oddly the best reason to do Tapestry with younger children is that it will give you time to teach the oldest student in your school: You. They encourage you to read the R level literature as you work through the the program the first time. Depending on both what kind of reader you are and what you've read in the past, it might take two passes. Or you can do what I did the second time, and take some rabbit trails of my own in conjunction with the program (I read Augustine's City of God when we finished Year 1 the second time, they don't read it, but I was in the time period, I did the same with more adult Civil War books). 


    But I'll be the first to tell you that the shine does really get going at the D level, especially in literature as you start to read real works. However, if you know you are aimed at Tapestry, you'll want to make sure that what ever you are doing you are reading quite a bit. We did Sonlight until my oldest was in fifth grade and the last two years of their younger level American history program had prepared him for D level. Not every program will do that. 

  12. Tapestry of Grace is once again offering a free unit of their integrated program to new users. This is a great chance to give their program a try.


    Here's a link explaining the offer:



    I find it pretty cool that you can  pick any unit you want and not just a sample unit they pick.


    We started Tapestry with My oldest in the fifth grade. He is now a senior. Both times he has taken the SAT, he's had a perfect score on the critical reading section. While as his mom, I think he's pretty bright and a good reader, I am sure that Tapestry's overall approach to both history and lit are what cemented his ability in this area. If you desire a strong classical approach with lively discussions I Tapestry can take you there.


    I don't post here very often anymore, but I knew some of you might be interested.





  13. I rarely visit this forum so I am late AND my information is a little sideways. That's because my oldest is going to be a senior this year. 


    We got started a year early because we were ready way back when to do the Primary 1A program when my oldest turned 6 which was late September. He was still in K. This means we got started on the upper level books a year early. We also used the old dinosaur NEM. Based on everything I've read over the years, NEM follows approximately the same course of materials but may be a tiny bit harder. It did not come with any teaching guides and solution sets were only available for the first two books. By the time we reached 4, its Additional Maths was out of print so we switched to DM for that.


    My general experience was that NEM 1 was the hardest pace and we did lag a bit on that but did finish by the end of June over a regular school year that usually begins the first of September. Two went much quicker and 3A, 3B, and 4A could be done in one year. Then we closed out with Additional Maths (Singapore used to have College Maths but they were long gone by the time we got to the end of 8th grade.) 


    So I do think you can do each year of DM in a year, but I also think the first year was big and tough. 


    We moved from Additional Maths to Pre-Calculus with Art of Problem Solving. We had no problems transitioning to that.


    However, looking back I wish we had done the Probability and Number Counting book first. I'm now in a bit of a pickle with a bright but not math oriented child and his last year. He has ruled out taking a college class because he rightly wants to focus on his strengths. I think he'd suprise himself and do well, but I agree with his reasoning. Plus he has multiple extra-curricular commitments making fitting in a class difficult unless by computer. BUT I don't want to do an 800 page Stat text which as a former stat person I think is ridiculous for the first level of stat. I wish I still had my first stat book, we'd use that. Sigh. 


    So my other recommendation is that Singapore math can put a child a bit ahead so do think out your choices and be aware that high school students tend to pick up stuff in which they are involved.


    Edited to add: I always suggest posting over on the Singapore board. It is slow moving, but Jenny will usually answer questions like this. 

  14. Hijack...please share your mods, Candid!


    First, my plan is still in process. Since as I note below we may do some summer reading, I'll need to at least know what those are by summer, but the finish doesn't have to happen until the fall. 


    Okay, let me make sure I put some background. I am only doing this my older student. He will be in 12th grade and he's a pretty deep reader beyond Tapestry. My ninth grader will do Tapestry as written. AND because of what I am cutting I will also note that I have been reading science fiction/fantasy for 40 years! I like it.


    So what am I cutting:


    Animal Farm

    Citizen of the Galaxy

    Fahrenheit 451

    The Hobbit

    I, Robot

    The Pearl 


    This is a total of 9 weeks of reading. In some cases we read some works 4 years ago knowing this was going to be the plan. In other cases, I just think the science fiction works they chose are pretty fluffy and not really classics. I've been thinking lately if there are any true science fiction classics yet. You'll see below that I do have one set of books that might come close. 


    Let me note one more bit of history. We read both Animal Farm and The Pearl when my oldest was in 8th grade. I think, looking back, I should have held off on The Pearl, it would have made things easier and I could have skipped doing The Grapes of Wrath. The Pearl is at this level and it is luminous, okay darkly luminous. 




    1984 George Orwell 2 On the Road Jack Keroac 2 Catcher in the Rye J.D. Salinger 1 Grapes of Wrath John Steinbeck 4


    And I have to admit that I am flirting with cutting the Grapes of Wrath back to 3 weeks and adding either Brave New World or I Am Charlotte Simmons. I'm also thinking of trimming On the Road to 1 week. 


    The justification for either replacement is there. Brave New World gets another literary look at dystopian novels  while the Wolfe book follows up on Keroac and Salinger with a more modern version (not to mention a more positive ending). On the Wolfe book there are two fairly graphic adult scenes which are important to the novel's progression so I'm still figuring it out. 


    And have to tell you I'm having the shakes because there is so much more I want to get into this year plan: Eugene O'Neill, The Crucible, Death of Salesman, The Foreigner, and Tom Stoppard are all missing and this was the golden century for US drama. We might read some over the summer.


    My oldest wants to read Atlas Shrugged which I've never read, I'm a bit of a dilettante and I keep thinking that William Buckley said he had to whip himself to stay awake during the book. 


    I would not follow my additions scrupulously, but instead follow what you think is important in the 20th Century. For an artsy student, do the plays and so forth. If you want to cover science fiction but with better writing the substitute The Sparrow and Children of God.

  15. I have older children so that changes what we do. We did do crafts for about 3 years when I had UG and D, but after that they went by the wayside. 


    We don't do writing or geography, but we do history, lit, church history, and all the electives for R level. However we don't do more with the electives so for the art and music history there is no enrichment beyond reading. 


    I can't imagine using Tapestry as a book list. The amazing part of the program is in discussion. 


    Next year my youngest joins his older brother in R, he is my less motivated child, but he has finally hit his stride in D in the last year or so and I hope he'll be able to keep up in R. I am actually happy that he'll transition to R in Year 4. He can handle mature themes its nose to the grindstone that he has problems with. 


    I am actually modifying the R level literature for my oldest as Year 4 is the only place I feel Tapestry flinched a bit and didn't include all the literature they should have and instead put in some fluff, but youngest will do the fluff as I think it is appropriate for ninth grade (compared to his brother in 12th). 

  16. I just stepped all Unit 3 and restart from Unit 4, hoping for a good finish for the year. I am really going to implement the discussion time and have dc read and try to find answers for the accoutability questions. Are these the ?s you discuss with dc? Do you use the thinking ?s for discussion too? Please give me more answers.

    You have convinced me to stay with ToG. Thank you for the encouragement. Candid and Renaissance Mom, would you please elaborate how you do the discussions?


    As to questions, I use the discussions in the tapestry materials. They mostly match the questions the students get but they do include more and go beyond the Accountability and Thinking questions. 


    It takes a bit of time for both you and the student to get used to discussions and you need to let go of preconceived ideas of fill in the blank sort of discussions. Instead look for your student to process the ideas they've encountered both in doing the reading and then in doing the questions. Don't get hung up on I didn't find the answer to that instead move to process as much as possible. Then at the end of the discussion time if there is a lot of "I didn't find it" spend time with them finding out why they didn't find it. Usually it is in their recommended books, but if you are substituting freely then a student might need to do some online research. Marcia also has a great lecture that you can buy: http://www.lampstandbookshelf.com/ZC/index.php?main_page=product_info&cPath=100_101&products_id=483&zenid=uabdn0bfutabmb7bt7ebl3c424 However, I'd give it a try on your own.



    I can testify that with almost no writing going on for our first two years of high school but six years of tapestry discussions that my son impressed an online writing teacher (one recommended here) and he has done very well in picking up debate which also requires student to quickly process ideas. 


    Finally, I am not on this forum much any more and I mostly come back and only read Tapestry threads here at the high school level. If you need input, I think you can PM me and get a quicker response. 

  17. The reading provides information, but information by itself is of little value to rhetoric learners, who greatly benefit from guided analysis. Then they are able to synthesize and defend arguments based on their analysis. The discussions are wonderful tools to this end.


    This is a great insight! about rhetoric level students in general. What I really like about Tapestry is how they go way beyond the simple fact based questions many programs have to the depth. While I think if I had to we could do this, but it is nice to have the meat already there. In literature the blend of literary analysis with thinking about life and how to live it, is truly amazing. 

  • Create New...