HSMWB
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Posts posted by HSMWB
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1 hour ago, heartlikealion said:
You lost me here:
What exactly makes you think that this is the answer? If you send them both to school, will it change your dh's expectations of you? Will you now be expected to work outside the home (not sure if you do). I know in my case, if I was not homeschooling either child, my dh would expect me to be earning income.
What are the true wants of your dh? How can they be met? Is "going to school" his want because of the curriculum, the weight he thinks you carry from homeschooling, the focus you can now put on other things... ?? I think you may want to dig deeper to find out the root.
Is your therapist pro/against homeschooling or neutral? That could also affect your viewpoint. Do you think that the marriage will flounder with or without brick and mortar school? Does your ds need to take a placement test? Does he have time to process the change, shop for school supplies, etc? Our local schools start this week.
Sorry, I am not sure how to quote or reply within the answer.
What exactly makes you think this is the answer? - sending him to this school, I don’t really think it is the answer. I think it is just going to cause different issues to pop up. I know I am being pessimistic, and I am trying to figure out how to realistically get over it and try to move forward. However, it is the issue that my DH tells me is the root of DH’s issues, and that if I would just listen to him and give it a try he is sure things will be roses.
If you send them both to school, will this change DH’s expectations of you? He claims it won’t, and that he doesn’t want me to get a job right away. However, one of his issues has always been the pressure he feel monetary because I am not working. And several times I have gone on job interviews and such. And I think that he does want me to have a job.
What are the true wants of your DH? This is such a good question. We are in marriage counseling, but he basically told me yesterday that he is only going to ‘support me’ because he thinks everything is basically all in my head and he doesn’t have any issues.
How can they be met? I can assure you it is not the curriculum, this school uses SOTW, novels, Saxon Math, Latin Alive, and almost all the families were homeschooling before they started attending. I have either looked at or used basically all the text books. He would be the 10th kid in the class, and they do not allow more then 10 in a class. We are looking at this school simply because it is the one most like homeschooling (technically still is) and I really think it is the best fit and option for the kids if they are going to school.
Is the therapist pro/against homeschooling or neutral? I would say neutral for the most part. She really doesn’t seem to offer opinions, and prior to this we had only discussed which school options for our DD with her. I brought up my concerns about our DS and how her going to school was going to change the family dynamics and logistics. That I was concerned DS would not get some of the experiences that we really enjoy (like weekly park days) because I was going to have to pick up DD now.
Do you think the marriage will flounder with or without a brick and mortar school? I think the problems with the marriage are deeper then the schooling choice. That the schooling choice has been used as a scrape goat for years by my DH, but that it is really not the ‘real’ issue. Yet is where the drama is currently playing out.
Does your DS need to take a placement test? Yes, but I think he will do fine, except, if he deliberately does awful because he does not want to go. They want to do a Saxon placement test, have him read aloud, and write a paragraph. He can do all of those things. School doesn’t start until after Labor Day, so we still have some time. But, it is approaching quickly.
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Please help me figure out how to move on and still be a mom present for my kids and not a hot mess.
we have been homeschooling for 8 years. This year our dd(14) starts high school and wanted to go to a brick and mortar school. We said ok, tried several out, visited them, shadow days. Everything. Our ds(11) 6th grade actually went on a lot of these visits and staunchly said that he wanted to stay at home. I have kept telling him that staying home is an option and that I would keep homeschooling him.
Well, the entire time we have been homeschooling, my husband has really not been into it and has wanted to send the kids to school. This has been an awful year for a variety of reasons and we are seeing a marriage counselor. This past week she suggested that we talk about what a ‘good year’ of homeschooling DS would look like for us. We were never able to even start talking about it. After much soul searching I decided in an effort to try and save my marriage and make my husband happy, I would agree to send our DS to a school (that is legally not even a school because they only meet 4 days a week for not enough weeks so technically we are still homeschooling in the letter of the law in our state) but is really a school in that except for homework, they do everything else.
We have not told our DS about this change in plans (he is at summer camp) and I am dreading it. I don’t really want to send him, I have good reason to thing he is not going to want to go. I am really worried that he is going to say that I ‘lied’ to him and that this is going to wreck our relationship. I am quite worried that he is going to make mornings so miserable that I am going to have to take up jogging in the morning or something to physically remove myself from the house while ‘getting ready for school’ happens daily. It will be my DH who takes them to school on his way to work.
Then, there is the logistical and other issues. I run a big for our area homeschooler field trip and specialty class type group. Almost all my ‘mom friends’ are a part of it. We could keep attending things on Friday (the day ds does not have school) but I am worried that it will be too difficult to try and have friends in both ‘worlds’. But then I worry that if schooling does not work out, then I should make an effort to keep the ties in the homeschooling community.
Please help me find peace with sending my kids to school even though they don’t want to go and I wish they were not going too.
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6 hours ago, Catwoman said:
Any updates?
She unlocked the phone for us and nothing except silly selfies, texts between her and her two bffs, and of course the usual social media apps were found. Whew. Oh. My. Word. I am so relieved. Lots of tears all around, but I think we managed to muddle through.
It was basically given to her from a friend who’s parents purchased her a new uncracked phone. They considered it ‘junk/trash’ and it didn’t even cross their mind that their child would give it away.
And a big thank you you to everyone who replied, at least I know we are surely not alone in this.
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21 minutes ago, regentrude said:
and that must be forbidden, because???
If this is the dangerous stuff she is doing with electronics, I don't understand the rule at all. Would staying up all night with a book elicit a different reaction?
In our family, we have had issues where kids don't want to get up in the morning and do what needs to be done (co-op, church, fieldtrips, playdates, etc.), because they are tired and have not got enough sleep. Screens seem to affect my kids/us and all of us make an effort to put all screens away at nine PM. So yes, if she had been reading a paper book I would have been ok with that, or playing her flute, or cleaning her room, or writing a letter for that matter. Also, we do not like screens in rooms, period. And yes, the adults in the house follow this rule as well.
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***Update from OP***
She did not come asking about the missing phone, so I finally asked her where it came from. She told me that it was from a friend (who is also homeschooled since birth I know this board will wonder), and then gave an explanation about how friend didn't have a charger cord for the phone, she (friend) thought she (daughter) might have one, so friend lent it to her to charge the phone. She said this happened last week when they saw each other. The phone was not physically near us when this conversation happened, but today I plan to ask her to unlock it in front of me so that I can see what is on it. Assuming that story stays the same, then plan to go meet the mom of the friend for coffee and give the phone back to her to deal with as she pleases.
I don't quite believe all aspects of this story, but I think that the bones could be believeable. This particular friend has expressed that she (DD's friend) thinks our rules are a bit strict (but talking with the mom we agreed that friend only heard daughters side, when hearing all sides it is much more reasonable) and she also has several older siblings who are young adults and I could see them letting her have 'castaway/old' phones of theirs that she then gave to our daughter.
Daughter also reminded me tonight of exactly why we had been taking all screens. Last night we went to bed early and only took cellphones because we were tired it has been a busy weekend. The laptop was left in the common area. In the middle of the night I got up because I could not sleep and wanted to do a little work on the laptop . . . it was found with a dead battery on sleeping DD's bed. I looked through the history and she had been watching youtube make-up tutorials . . . sigh
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We took the ‘new, not her’s, unauthorized ‘ phone last night, and it is currently at dad’s work. We are hoping that sometime today/tonight she comes and asks us about it. If not, we figure it is the ‘cooling-off’ period that we need to try and be calm and rational when we ask her about it.
Unfortunately we are unable to turn off, change the password, or disable the internet that reaches our house. It is a ‘public utility’ where we are living and we would have to move to change it. This is one reason why we have been taking physical possession of all wireless devices at bedtime. At first we did not, but it soon became apparent that her friends parents were not keeping their kids off the devices and our child was getting all kinds of messages/texts/pictures from her friends until WAY late in the night. Nothing nefarious, but not a situation that we wanted going on.
Thanks so much for all the replies
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She is on her cell phone currently.
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The location where the phone was found, makes us think that she is deliberately hiding it from us.
I have no idea where the phone came from, I doubt that any friends just left it at our house if it was their working phone, that has happened in the past with phones, and it seems parents come looking for them quickly. We think it ‘might’ be an old ‘forgotten’ phone from someone, possibly.
It seems to be an LG phone, the phone is cracked, and it seems to have apps installed. At our house, we have WiFi that is provided to all through the management, and from the lock screen, it looked like it was connected to the public WiFi.
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We have in the past had ‘sneaking’ cell phone issues with our daughter. And we have a very strict ‘no cell phone in room’ policy. Additionally we take physical control of the cell phones overnight to charge in our bathroom (including ours) that all phones/devices are on overnight. We did not start out our parenting journey this way, but have felt like it was necessary due to the ‘sneaking’ behavior going on.
So tonight my husband was in the child’s room to do some house repairs (that child knew he would be doing) and in the meantime, he discovered a newish cell phone, charged, has service, in the room. We just took it, and are now trying to decide what to do. Child has not yet been in room or anything. What would you do now as the next step???? Help, this parenting is hard work. I have no idea who it belongs too.
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If you knew that the reading list for 9th grade English co-op class included:
A Pioneer’s Search for an Ideal Home -Judson
Oedipud the King - Sophocles
Through The Gates of Splendor- Elliot
Lord of the Flies - Golding
Life of St Francis - Bonaventure
Julius Caesar - Shakespeare
Great Expectations - Dickens
and Lights in the Northwest by Hannula
and that this is the first English Classroom type experience your child will have had, what do you think might be a couple of good books to read/listen to this summer to ‘get ready’?
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Thursday will mark the 5th day in a row of all the local public schools being closed due to weather, my kids always find out, and then all hope of doing school work is basically out the window because of attitude issues. However, it is really not 'go play in the snow' weather either. We are just trying to make it through. I am 99% certain that we are not going to be able to go to the 'already re-scheduled once' valentines exchange tomorrow either, so that is going to be fun.
Goal: make it through the day without yelling or resorting to daytime drinking :-)
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I think Carnival has very reasonable prices. They also allow you to bring a little bit of alcohol on board if that is something that you are interested in.
You do not have to do excursions through the cruise line, and our family generally just hires a taxi and goes to the beach. On Carnival you can do pre-paid gratuities, I’m not sure about other companies.
We have always driven to the cruise terminal, so I am not help on trying to find flights.
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6 hours ago, J-rap said:
How fun! Do you live in a cold weather or warm weather location this time of year? (That would affect my ideas.)
We live where it is dark and rainy in the winter. Very little snow, but can get to snow in the mountains in under an hour. It will be at a house or possibly the small fellowship hall of a church.
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Our homeschool group has been having monthly teen fun night. We have had about a dozen kids come each time, so far they have mostly been ‘holiday’ based theme activities. It is a drop off event for the kids except for the mom hosting, and sometimes one or two others who have helped assist with the activities. Please help me think of a ‘theme’ for January and maybe some easy ideas. Please!
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With my first - my mom was at the hospital for the labor, and we were staying with them, so yes, she was able to see dad first.
With my 2nd, it was MIL we called to come watch older sister while we went to birth center by ourselves. So MIL got to see ds when he was hours old as we returned home, and then she stayed several days to help run the house before it was possible for my parents to come up.
I think it just depends on a lot of factors, physical location and general closeness or relationship aside.
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I have now managed to read the first 90 pages of The Language of God - I think I am probably going to attempt to assign this instead, and try to not skip the strand.
On 8/23/2018 at 11:10 PM, MDL said:my big question is what is everyone using for a science kit? The recommendation is $355 on amazon, which would be ok if it is a stellar kit. However, I am suspecting the price is high due to limited supply. Buying a kit will give us a much higher probability of doing experiments!
I have seen a Janice VanCleave book suggested as an alternative, and did actually buy that instead, but actually have not had a chance to look at it yet. Lol, I have been too busy stressing out over the science books and trying to come up with a workable plan for our family.
On 8/22/2018 at 9:25 PM, SJ. said:Are you assigning the reader and the literature to be read or are you reading one aloud?
We are using byl8, too. DS will start after labor day. I still need to purchase most of the books that are spines! The rest will come from the library
I can not decide, I will probably read aloud whichever book is ‘less likely’ to get done. I have read The Golden Goblet before, and really liked it actually, so I think we could easily talk about it. We are also doing a few other classes with reading in addition to BYL. We also do quite a few audio books in the car, so I can see us doing that as well instead of reading some of the books.
We are not starting until after Labor Day either. It seems like a lot of weeks worth of work. I can’t see us finishing it as planned out. This is also our first year trying a planned out package though. And it was specifically requested by my student, so I hope it works out.
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We are, this is the first time trying it out. I have finished reading the Reality of Magic and will definitely not be using it, if my kids want to read it and talk about it, fine, but I am not going to assign it. I just picked up The Language of God from the library today but have not had a chance to start it. I will most likely assign that instead, or simply declare it ‘easing into school’ and just not do anything with that strand until the next book is scheduled.
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Thanks for the ideas! They are also scheduled to read A Short History of Nearly Everything a little later in the year.
I was thinking it (this book) would be a great way to discuss issues, but it seems to me like every single paragraph would need a lengthy conversation, and while I actually agree with it on some points, the book seems to have a serious axe to grind in my mind.
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Our curriculum has my 8th grader reading The Magic of Reality by Richard Dawkins basically a chapter a day for almost 3 weeks. I have now read the first 5 chapters and I am not really comfortable assigning it. I am ok with evolution, and I am ok with old earth, BUT the book just seems like it is trying to make an atheist out of the readers and we believe in the Bible. I am wondering if anyone has read it, and also other books from a creationist standpoint and has a recommendation for an alternative text? I have read It Couldn’t Just Happen but don’t want to assign that as the alternative either. Any suggestions for me?
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They have them in Oregon to be sure, I have participated in several. They go much smoother with a police escort, I have been in ones both with and without.
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The great wolf lodge in our neck of the woods added a huge outdoor zip line thing. I only mention this because we packed no close toed shoes and couldn’t go on it, Since it was new from the previous time we went, we didn’t know to pack them.
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Thanks for the ideas and suggestions on how to go forward. Hopefully this will help!
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I have a child who is sometimes very difficult to understand. I don’t think it is quite bad enough for $$$ speech therapy - but at the same time, I am starting to think it needs to be addressed is a systematic way. I can not pin-point exactly what sounds he is mid-pronouncing, it seems like sometimes he just is not enunciating his words or making an effort to communicate well. You know, making eye contact with the person, speaking loud enough to be heard, etc. I am wondering if there are any on-line resources on how to address something like this? I am not the only person who notices the difficulty in understanding his speech. Any ideas?
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I think it is really pretty far from Seattle. That being said, there are some amazing trails and hikes/walks that are absolutely different from other areas. We really like the lava tubes (not weather dependent) and the tale of two forests and have seen many a toddler to adult having fun climbing through the old lava tubes.
We also enjoy the trails in Lava Canyon, although have not gone very far on the ‘difficult’ trails as I found them WAY past my comfort zone, I would take toddlers on the easy trails and either not go over the bridge, or carry them across.
As mentioned, Mt St Helens is actually closer to Portland, if you were going there I would stop between the two cities.
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How do I ‘get over it’?
in The Chat Board
Posted
I still can’t really figure out the replying to quote thing. But anyways:
Do you think DH will be an involved school parent? Honestly, he knows that it is going to be all on him to get the kids to the school in the morning. It is directly on his way to work at the exact time he is going to work. It is far enough away that there are no other options as far as carpooling/public bus/etc. We have spoken about how on Sunday’s he often leaves to ‘get the car and walk the dog’ and leaves me to get the kids up to the car every week on time (we are often running late), and things dissolve into frustration. And that if the kids go, it is really going to be up to him. The layout and size of our house make it somewhat difficult for multiple people to get ready at the same time. He has also told me that he doesn’t think he should be the ‘math homework’ person. And several years ago he decided the kids were ‘too old’ for bedtime stories, and stopped them. This is an example of him making a decision that I didn’t agree with, but going along with because I felt like I could compensate by doing more read aloud during the day with homeschooling.
Is he going to blame you for that? (Being am involved school parent) I don’t think exactly so. I think he wants me to be involved, and I want to be involved, but it makes me cry in frustration just thinking about it. I don’t know if it helps or hurts that the school uses quite a few curriculum choices that I have personally been using or used in the past. I’m worried that just being on the premises of the school is going to be pouring salt into unhealed wounds of mine. I also worry that my hurt will turn into anger.
will it ‘work’ or just cause different problems? Million dollar question, wish I knew the answer 🙂
What about enrolling at fall break or semester? One of my concerns is that for a variety of reasons, this has been an awful school year academically for my kids. From about January on, we really only managed to hang on to life, deal with commitments we had made, and try to give each other some grace. Pretty much only ‘life learning’ going on. I do not think the kids are ‘behind’ because of this because we had really been quite advanced to start. So they might have not gained much, but they are still ‘average’ academically. However, this does need to stop. Last January I almost enrolled the DD into the local public junior high, basically because I could see the writing on the wall of what was coming (and did in fact come to be, here we are) and I was thinking that might stop the academic stagnation that was coming. At that time, DH basically told me that I was just down in the pits, and that he was saying no as the dad, that he thought we should just ‘unschool’ them and get through the rough patch. What I did not realize, was that in his mind, they were both for sure going to a private school in the fall. What I took away from the conversation instead was that he wanted to support me in homeschooling them.