imagine.more
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Posts posted by imagine.more
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:iagree: -- and I hate that other things like Pinterest are "tied to" FB and Twitter!!
Yes! I just made a fake twitter account and that worked fine for me, I love pinterest.
I'm one of those hold-outs on the facebook thing, I just do not see the point. Why would I want to be 'friends' with every idiot from my high school or whatever? That's ridiculous, if people want to chat they can call, text, or e-mail, I never change my phone or e-mail address even through 5 moves in 5 years so it's not like I'm hard to reach without facebook.
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Unscripted, wow, talk about a sign, lol! I say go for it :)
So we're moving to pennsylvania now so when I got my new headcovering (a wussy one that isn't nearly as obvious as a mantilla but still covers my head. It's a pretty one from garlandsofgrace.com) 2 days before the trip I decided to wear it to mass while we were there. It just felt right, so I'll be asking DH for 2 new ones for Christmas and start wearing them to mass regularly at our new parish. I'm hoping since nobody knows me yet they'll just accept it from the start. I didn't see anyone with mantillas but it was the 5pm mass so pretty casual. Dh being a pastor I'll likely never get to an earlier sunday mass so I'll be the oddball at the 5pm mass, haha!
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One is do you enjoy being a stay at home mom?
Yes, most days :)
Did you have to sacrifice a lot to be a stay at home mom?
Not really, I worked full-time all through college and then as a teacher for 1 year before I had my oldest son and then it was natural for me to stay home because teachers just don't earn much after daycare and transportation. The biggest sacrifice was my DH and I sharing one car for 1.5 years and we're doing it again. My DH is a pastor so he doesn't make much money so yes we probably scrimp on certain things but generally it doesn't bother me because I went straight from being a poor college student to being a poor pastor's wife, lol! I do wish he made more, we're planning for him to maybe make a career switch down the road for moral, personal, and financial reasons and hopefully his earning potential can increase then as our family grows.
Do you work and homeschool? Or do you just stay at home and homeschool?
Stay home. We're not legally homeschooling yet but 2 small ones and a household to run keep me busy for the time being and my oldest has started school earlier than we planned because he's ahead academically and loves to do school stuff.
Are you involved with a lot of outside activities so you don't go "mad" at home?;)
Not at the moment (live in a rural area) but I plan to be when we move in 3 weeks :) Yes I absolutely go mad when I stay home too much, I get cabin fever and just feel cranky. When we lived in the city I was happier. My best suggestion for sanity as a SAHM is to have a hobby that can be done from home (I sew), make mom friends who are also SAHM's no matter what it takes, and force yourself to shower and get dressed every morning, keep some semblance of a routine, and find a very nice teenager to babysit whenever you need it!
If I could visit my 16 year old self and give advice it would be this:
1) be sure the man you marry understands what being the sole provider entails. My DH is sweet and shared my views on me SAH once we had kids since his mother was a SAHM too, but had no idea of the realities of making that work and was ill prepared to be the sole provider. He knew zilch about finances or how to get a good paying job and settled for $6.50 an hour at a coffee shop with a bachelor's degree until I made him apply to be a youth pastor (he loves working with youth) and he got a job making $17 an hour instead and that job experience is what secured him his new job at a larger, thriving church in the suburbs.
2) get a degree or job training that allows for both full and part-time work, and simultaneously foster one of your hobbies. Once you have a family you can have options to work part-time or turn your hobby into a small side business (tutoring, seamstress, artist, those kinds of things). If you end up financially well off your hobby can just be a fun hobby to bolster your spirit and mind and show your children your own talents. This gives you the gift of flexibility because you never know what the future might hold. Your current career plan sounds like a really good one in that it only requires a 2 year degree. So you can get going in your career young and then maybe pursue a 4 year liberal arts degree bit by bit as you can pay for it. A degree is never wasted on a SAHM, it's only if tons of student loans are taken out that it can become a burden instead of an asset. Weigh the long-term benefits to things.
3) DO NOT GET INTO DEBT!! If you need student loans make sure they are less than half of your expected starting salary.
4) Get experience caring for kids now and keep it up. I was a nanny for 5 years and it was the best preparation for having my own kids, even though of course having my own is both infinitely harder and more rewarding. But I really was able to grasp the work involved with having kids and knew how to respond to them. I never had to be a freaked-out FTM because I'd done everything but the breastfeeding before. Watching some of my peers who had zero experience with kids (some hadn't held a baby ever!) I am thankful I had the opportunity to help nanny for 2 different families and watch them lovingly parent their kids. The transition to being a mom came naturally and easily and I really think it's because I had just recently gotten the carseats from nannying out of my car when I got married and got pregnant for the first time, lol!
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In my experience both are absolutely true.
AP classes and IB programs are very good in the local high schools in my area. Those programs are graduating young people with EXCELLENT educations. I believe the are inefficient, they require huge amounts of homework to the point that sports or scouts is impossible with too many AP classes or when you do the IB program. But I have met stellar kids in my own community who did these things....
My older dd did mostly average classes in our local high school and it was scary how easy those classes were. I fought to get her into Honors classes the last year of high school because regular English classes were doing worksheets on what a verb is and that sort of thing. Group work that she brought home blew my mind. Other kids in those classes could not read well, write, or spell.
Yes, I definitely think this is part of it. There's another aspect to this "PS students are doing more advanced work younger" and "PS students are often woefully undereducated upon graduation" oddity. TWTM touches on this, and I've seen it myself with my students. The kindergarten-4th grade standards are outrageously advanced, my kindergarteners were expected to write an "essay" by the end of the year! Their math curriculum had them doing advanced concepts while just touching on the basic addition facts. So what happens is these kids who were pushed into advanced math and writing early did not spend time doing memorization and practicing skills. So when they get to middle school the teachers gasp and freak out because they realize Johnny, who's got all A's and has done bits of algebra here and there and can write a fun story, is still counting on his fingers because he never memorized math facts and cannot tell a noun from a verb.
In general our public schools think memorization is boring and mean to inflict on little kids who ought to be creative. So they don't. The kids create all day, but they create crap. Then when higher level work is required in middle/high school the kids are ill equipped to handle it because everything in their education has been shallow up until then with no eye to the future depth of knowledge they will need. They have no foundational skills like phonics, math facts and experience with math manipulatives, and grammar. So in middle/high school the well-meaning teachers say "well since the kids don't know phonics and grammar maybe we should backtrack and study that so they have the foundation". But studying phonics and grammar at 13 and 14 is criminally boring and mean to inflict on kids whose minds are more interested in questioning and logic so they don't get far and much of the year is wasted. By the time the kids get to high school their teachers are saying "so you know a little grammar and just a little creative writing, what did those middle school teachers do all that time?!" and again end up backtracking, saying "well since the kids never learned how to outline or summarize I suppose we'll go back and practice that."
So yes PS first graders often know more things than HS first graders in my opinion, but because there is no foundation or depth to the knowledge PS students often end up behind HS students by graduation.
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My ODS year old definitely has his days where he complains, and he'll play the "I want to go to Daddy's church" or "I want to go to the Catholic church" card depending on where we are. I just tell him that it doesn't matter if he wants to go or not, we are going to worship God and it's about God, not him. But we also try to help him pay attention and be involved. I sit him on my lap and rub his back while I explain parts of the service or sing the hymns in his ear (most of which he knows now!) and I'll remind him by tapping him on the head when he needs to respond with a "and with your spirit" or "Lord hear our prayer". We worked to teach him the Our Father so he could say that, and we don't stress if he's jumping in place or laying on the floor while he does it, lol! Seriously, he has spent the last half of mass laying on the floor, feet in the air but his hands are folded in prayer and he's actually praying so I just leave him be :) Maybe you could invite the priest over for dinner or do some service for him as a family, let the kids get to know him outside of just mass. Since my DH is a pastor he and our priest like to talk shop sometimes so we know him a bit now and my ODS loves our priest, he's always chattering on about Father Steve and he's been paying better attention to the homilies than I realized ever since we had dinner at his parsonage.
I think sometimes kids are going to complain, they do it about schoolwork, eating vegetables, practicing piano, going to basketball practice, nobody can stay completely interested all the time. But I agree that the older kids can learn to kind of suck it up and just go to an extent while you try to find ways to help them engage with mass.
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Oh yeah, I'm not surprised, they've had ads that were heading that direction for ages. My sister always bought from there but I hated going in the store, it was so trashy and they keep it super dark, I could hardly see the clothes in the store in atlanta. But yeah, looking at the newest picture, wow! That is disturbing for sure. Luckily their clothes are flimsy and poor quality anyway, so it's no loss to not shop there honestly.
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We got a crib tent and that worked great for us. Our cats, 1 in particular, is always trying to jump in the crib. The crib tents also conveniently keep the more acrobatic toddlers from climbing out of the crib :)
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Definitely agree with everyone about attending Mass, just being in the presence of Christ was enough to keep me coming back for more :) After I did my research and dabbling in DH's denomination (Lutheran) I ran back to the Catholic Church pretty quickly. In the past 2 years I've begun reading and learning a lot more. Catholicism for Dummies was actually recommended by my priest (he has a copy, lol) so I got that and it really was a good overview, I was impressed! Also, Scott Hahn's The Lamb's Supper was recommended for my DH by my old Life Teen leader and I found it extremely inspiring. Now I'm reading a book on the new translation of the mass very very slowly (we're super busy). I've also read some stuff by Protestants-turned-Catholic but I found the tone off-putting sometimes.
My DH is actually investigating Catholicism now, he's been most influenced by reading the actual church fathers, more direct sources as opposed to some of the more approachable modern day stuff like Scott Hahn or Mark Shea. But then he's been to seminary so his theological vocabulary alone far surpasses mine. I trudge through St. Augustine's stuff at a snail's pace, lol! It makes our theological debates rather one-sided, I always have to remind him to speak in layman's terms, not seminary-speak. You might be more comfortable with the more approachable stuff to give you an overview, then if you still have questions delve into the deeper stuff :)
We watch The Journey Home every week, we like it. DH's parents were none too pleased when we automatically turned that on one Monday night when they were visiting, oops!
The Catholic Answers site is actually useful for those quick questions you might have, though its message board of course gets all sorts and people will argue back and forth.
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I'd like to introduce myself, as I am new to this forum (new to a forum in general--I'm totally technologically challenged and may be posting in the wrong forum!).
I am a mother of five (DS-9, DD-7.5, DD-6, DS-4.5, and DD-18m), and all of my children have been raised in an AMI Montessori school from age 18m-present. We are about to adventure into homeschooling (and out of our familiar place in Montessori methods) beginning in January, and I'm trying to do my research.
I've been reading WTM (LOVE IT!), and I'm trying to begin selection of materials from the resources provided. I am so overwhelmed, however, with the choices, and trying to do for children at so many different grade levels (not to mention the cost of so many different leveled guide books, etc!).
I know the WTM matrix and Chapter 7 discussion suggest a four year cycle specified by grade, but is it a wrong move to just begin all of my children (grades pre-K, K, 2, and 4) at the Ancients and move them through together? I plan to individualize their language and math, but I was hoping this consolidation of information in history and enrichment would not be a bad idea.
Any thoughts?
And if I have posted to the incorrect forum, will someone please guide me to the right place to receive this type of support.
Thanks!
Tiffany
Mama of DS-9, DD-7.5, DD-6, DS-4.5, and DD-18m
Actually the book has an appendix that recommends doing exactly that, just keeping all the kids on the same history/science cycle. So I'd start with Ancients for everyone this coming year, then move on to Medieval, then Renaissance, then Modern. Your DS-9 will likely get through the cycle just 2 times but that's perfectly fine for him and the younger kids will get through the cycle 3 times, once in each stage. Doing Science and History together will also help save you money on curriculum, you can just start with Story of the World as your spine and have each child read other books at their own level and do coloring/writing assignments at their own level, but all on the same subject.
You might want to check out the blog Preschoolers and Peace, the author, Kendra, uses a Classical method with her 8 kids and she combines a lot of subjects into Circle Time, which might be a good tactic for you.
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Yeah, my family is shrinking all the time. Unfortunately my sisters (one of whom is married and her DH is against having kids) say they're not having any children and my brother is in the military with no romantic prospects, he's young so I hope he finds a nice girl and gets married and has children but I wouldn't be shocked if he didn't.
My DH's family is scary small to me, he has just 3 cousins total, everyone had only children except his parents who had 2. His sister might have 1 but like my brother I wouldn't be surprised if she had none. The odds are good our kids will have no cousins. His own cousins are too young to tell for sure but might have 1 kid late in life but it's unlikely given their personalities and upbringing, having children is more of a "if you've done everything else (education, career, house, married, travel, etc) then sure, have one or maybe two kids if you really want"
Compared to my grandparents who had 4 and 5 children each and my DH's grandparents who had 3 children each it's sad to see the numbers dwindling. I told DH we can make up for our kids having no cousins though by having more ourselves :) I would expect to have several grandkids since we're raising the kids Catholic and I've got Irish-Catholic fertility on my side, lol!
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We have had the same "problem" (good problem) too, my ODS is always skipping ahead and it's very difficult to predict where he'll be from one month to the next.
So, first I'm ignoring grades and looking at things as being a level instead. He'll start Level 1 of Miquon Math this winter after our move, he'll also start Level 1 of Handwriting Without Tears. Meantime we are working through ordinary parents guide to teaching reading and he loves them. Yes some are review but if he gives me the "duh, that was easy" look we do a second lesson. They take 5-10 minutes total so it's really easy and I feel strongly about him having a good solid phonics base and not just sight reading everything. Then he reads books every day, I just keep a ton lying around that are easy, on level, and difficult for him. It means I'm constantly buying books or checking them out from the library but I've often been surprised to see him pick up what I considered a "hard" book and just read it through.
And ITA with 8FillTheHeart about taking note of who gives curriculum recommendations that fit your situation. If you know your DD is advanced definitely check here for recommendations. For me I always check out recommendations from here and recommendations from larger families since we'll likely have more kids someday. Some curriculums are great for only children but unrealistic for the 4th of 7 children, and vice versa. I also look at the Well Trained Mind recommendations for each subject and I choose the most demanding of each one for T-rex because I know now that he's advanced. In the book they say that 100 Easy Lessons is more remedial, so I went with OPGTR and have not regretted it. That's part of what I like in WTM, they almost always recommend a rigorous and less rigorous curriculum option for each subject.
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I do not know if this will help, but I would tackle the belief in in God first and the specifc branch of Christianity second.
I agree, not everyone needs this but this was how I needed to work through things. First belief in God, then belief in Christ and the basic truth and authority of the Biblical narrative, then belief in the Catholic Church as the one, holy, catholic, and apostolic faith. It was a natural progression. That's why starting with Lee Strobel's book helped. Also, a look at physics, though some of it might be over her head, in 11th grade really helped solidify my beliefs. Taking things down from most complex to least and get to the level of an atom and then basically you end up at God as the natural conclusion.
If she's of a literary vs. scientific mindset she might enjoy CS Lewis' Surprised by Joy. His experience of Joy resonated with me and was further confirmation of God's existence.
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I went through a phase like this around age 12-ish and my mom's response to me crying hysterically and telling her I wasn't sure I believed in God was to laugh at me. Not the response you should give!
Anyway, I agree with Lee Strobel's The Case for Christ, as well as Mere Christianity by CS Lewis. My brother asked me some hard questions at 17 about why I believed in God and I had been reading The Case for Christ and was able to answer almost all his questions, it was so helpful! Maybe even make it a homeschool subject or a family thing you sit down and do together. Also, start following the Conversion Diary blog and look at some of her older posts. Then I really think your DD needs Catholic friends and influences. Could you find a church with a strong Life Teen program she can transition into right after Confirmation? If there's anything within an hour I'd do it, she could get to know kids in the middle school CCD classes and it would make her teen years a lot easier. Just anything where she can connect with faithful Catholic kids/teens trying to live out their faith. We had an excellent one at my church in Georgia and it made all the difference for me.
I'll ask my DH if he has any other resources on the existence of God, the Christ story, and the basics of the faith, he works with confirmation age kids so he might have a lot.
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I second the artfully placed blanket/throw/afghans. It has helped my cats avoid scratching those pieces of furniture.
Yep, after 5 years this is what I've figured out works too. I bought one of those super soft throw blankets from Target and draped it over the arm of the chair, works like a charm. The kitties haven't tried to scratch the sofa since and our guests are none the wiser :)
We had tried scratching post, squirt bottle, yelling, throwing things, soft paws, and double-sided tape and none worked well. The tape stopped them from scratching but collects hair and dust and looks terrible so quickly and is impossible to remove so that wasn't a good solution for me. A simple blanket was all we needed all along :)
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At our school only the advanced classes read novels. The college prep kids read excerpts of books contained in literature textbooks, read poems, and do 1-2 plays a year. I was put in college prep english for one semester before I was begging to be let out, I was bored to tears. But in honors/AP they read novels, like a pp said many of the kids don't actually read them, but they are assigned and studied.
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They should change their name to WTH?!?!?
ROFL, Yes!
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Youtube videos! That's how I taught myself at 23 when I was first a SAHM. I really wanted to sew ODS cute cloth diapers and so I asked DH to get me a sewing machine for my b-day and after one bad night of fighting with my machine's tension for 3 hours I have been sewing ever since :) Just start with something simple and forgiving. A fleece quilted blanket for one of the kids beds, fleece is super forgiving. Or a pillowcase, curtains, etc. Pillowcases are fun starter projects because they can be as plain or embellished as you want. My ODS has a toddler pillow that's a little extra embellished because I messed up and measured wrong so I had to add this extra layer of scrap fabric, lol!
Maybe do it with your DD, I bet she'd think it's fun. My ODS likes to sit on my lap and hold the fabric or press the backstitch button for me :)
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I had an oversupply with my second son who of course was colicky and it was a pain! Block feeding helped a lot, but unfortunately he had other underlying issues like a milk and soy intolerance so I had to cut all of that out. Then he was still aspirating due to reflux, so we thickened bottles of pumped milk and had him on 2 medications plus an apnea monitor, ugh! It was horrible. The pumping helped my supply calm down a lot though :) Nothing better than an inefficient pump to lower the amount of milk, lol! I got him back on the breast later and he was much better though he always seemed touchy about it and forced me to wean early when he went on a total strike at 10 months. I think he always associated breastfeeding with tummy pain.
I've heard that reducing sugar intake but increasing real fats helps to balance it out though I read an opposing study that found mother's intake did not change her milk's fat content noticeably. Couldn't hurt to try though, or just reduce calories all around. Eliminating dairy and soy from your diet will do that automatically, I lost 5lbs in one week of doing that for my son. Nursing laying back also helped, side-lying nursing always ended with him choking badly, as did the traditional in the lap nursing. A boppy pillow that kept him higher helped if I sat cross legged to keep his head propped up just a bit, if that makes sense?
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:grouphug:I am going to strongly suggest counseling for her. It is scary at first, but so good to have someone to talk to. I would also encourage more time with the horses. I do not know if there is a way for you to lease or 1/2 lease one, but at her age I really needed the alone time to just be with my horses.
Grooming, riding in the pasture, sitting in their stall. It was so healing just to be near them, their shoulders seemed so big and strong and safe. Unfortunately, this is usually only possible if you can be around them for hours on end and you feel some sort of ownership/bond with that particular horse.
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ITA about the counseling just to check on possible bipolar or depression since you have it too. I remember being around that age (more 13-14 for me), it was horrible and oddly horses were my go-to therapy every time. I volunteered at a horse barn to hang with them and earn riding time and it was a great experience. It also got me some much-needed physical exercise and sunshine that I'm sure didn't hurt either. Leasing a horse can be expensive but surely not more expensive than therapy, right? :) Funny how the same random thing worked for others too.
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I saw the preview last night. ACK! There is one very good argument for not making your first intimate moment take place in front of a hundred people (or TV cameras! Good GRAVY!).
I attended a wedding where the bride and groom had not kissed. The pastor made a speech about it, the same way Jim Bob did at Josh's wedding. Personally, I think even that is really odd. Why does there need to be a public statement about what level of physical intimacy you've restrained yourselves to? :confused: I just think the whole spectacle is nobody's business. You don't get a Gold Star for being completely chaste until your wedding day; why does it need to be displayed for everybody?
I totally agree, I can't imagine how embarrassing that would be. And I really don't like that they're kind of making out anyone who waits until their wedding night to have sex as a freak. The no-kissing thing is such a teeny tiny minority of people who abstain. My DH and I waited until marriage and you know what, it was never ever ever mentioned to anyone at or before the wedding cause it's none of their business, sheesh! Only our close friends and my sisters know we waited, DH's parents probably assume we did, I dunno and I don't care to discuss that with my MIL, lol! How awkward to have something sweet and intimate like a first kiss be put on display like that!
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Most churches do the blessing but like pp's said, not all laypeople do a blessing, usually that's done by the priest only where we've been. I felt bad this past Sunday we were visiting a church in our soon-to-be new town and I accidentally got in the line for a layperson so my ODS was disappointed when the person didn't give a blessing. It was no big deal though, we just kept walking and he stayed with me, I mostly bring him up so he's not as antsy anyway, my DH stays seated with my YDS since obviously he can't take communion. Generally if I'm not taking communion we all sit, I'm not big on going up for the blessing mostly because I'd hate for visitors to misunderstand and think everyone but them is taking communion. I've heard others feel that way, especially if they come from other countries where a blessing is not the usual practice.
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I just read this earlier, it made me so sad :crying: I remember falling in love with the Pern series when I was 13, took me forever to track them down after reading an excerpt in some literature textbook during history class. It's so sad we've lost another great writer, she'll be missed.
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I'm not sure what you mean about Episcopal being hard to become? My experience has always been you attend a church, if you like it you stay. If you wish to become confirmed you can attend classes for adults and be confirmed by the Bishop. If you don't want to be confirmed you can attend the rest of your life, and participate fully, without ever being confirmed. My husband is a full member of our local Episcopal church and has never been confirmed. No issue at all.
Also, several local parishes have a "welcome" type dinner every few months for newcomers, or a newcomer study, or other type event for people to learn more in a less formal way.
ITA, Episcopal is super easy to join from what I've heard. Like the ELCA you just start attending, the only requirement would be baptism if you weren't baptized previously.
In the Catholic Church it's not that hard either, most people just join RCIA and explore a bit, then get first confession, first communion, and confirmation all on the same day at Easter Vigil Mass if I remember correctly. So it's more of a distinct "coming into the church" date, but no more difficult really than anything else.
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Using my degree to teach other people is fine, but using it to teach my own kids is throwing it away? How does that even make sense?
This is exactly my situation. I have a teaching degree and quite frankly I would rather stay home and teach my own kids than send my kids to a stranger all day so I can teach the kids of other strangers. Seems silly.
I have a bachelor's degree, graduated with a 3.3 GPA while working 30 hours a week all 4 years, and I don't consider it a waste to forego a full-time career to focus on raising and educating my kids. I saw from my teaching experiences how much influence parents have in their kids' education, nothing can replace that. I'm working hard to raise several intelligent, hard-working, kind adults to send off into society. The world I see is in desperate need of a few more of those kinds of young adults. I use my degree every day because I use my mind every day.
help! 3 YO keeps running away from me
in General Education Discussion Board
Posted
We start teaching "come to mommy" from a very very early age, basically as soon as they can crawl. Literally, I am working on this with my 1 year old right now though he's already very good about it. As a nanny I watched a little boy who fell into the pool because he ran away from us 2 adults watching him (myself and my MIL). He was fine, we were right there, but it was horrifying and I decided then and there I would make sure my children never ran from me. And they don't. It's a safety issue, all kids must learn this if they are to have the freedom to not be kept on a leash or strapped in a cart/stroller like an infant. At the mall 90% of the 3-4 year olds I see are in strollers, and that's fine if it's necessary while they're being taught, but I love that my 3 year old can have the independence to walk freely and look at things, touch things, etc. He's earned that freedom and he enjoys it.
Starting brand new with a 3 year old I'd start at home and practice coming to mommy. Just cheerfully say "____ come to mommy" and if he doesn't come then go get him and bring him to you for hug/kisses/tickles. When they come by themselves I always toss them in the air and tickle them and kiss them to show they want to come to mommy because it's usually for something good. Sometimes I might have a treat in my hand, other times I'm just going to give an instruction. But we practice at home a lot, then outside. Then you go to the store *completely willing to LEAVE* and practice coming to mommy.
We also have a strict rule about hand-holding. If you will not hold an adult's hand you will need be strapped in the cart or held like a baby for the rest of the shopping trip. I don't care if they kick or scream even, this rule is set in stone for our family. And my 3.5 year old almost never gives us this problem. Maybe twice a year does he not come when called ever since he was 1.
Now we're moving on to more advanced training stuff in that my 3.5 year old doesn't need to hold our hand, he's really that trustworthy. So he's learning guidelines. Like when i get his little brother in/out of the car he is to stand on the white/yellow line and that way I know he's safe. Another option is to have them touch the car but my wiggly boy does better with staying on the line as he can hop in place as much as he wants, lol! In the mall we walk around and practice green light/red light and just staying near mommy. If he gets too far I call him back. But all of this is only after they have a good record of obedience in coming when called in the first place, and never ever running away.