imagine.more
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Posts posted by imagine.more
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Evanthe, I know, isn't Jen's blog lovely!
I like the idea of using plastic sandwich bags in a backpack for manipulatives, that would definitely condense things. And yes I've been leaning towards more workbook-y things for this coming year too just because of the space and time issue, it'll be a bit easier I think on me.
And yeah, after my daughter I thought for sure I could handle Kindergarten for my son no problem, it was just one kid! But then she took 3 weeks to learn day vs night and then PPD hit and so this time I'm not even going to assume we'll do anything until October 1st, lol! I figure September is so beautiful anyway I might as well let that be the kids' summer time and then we'll settle down to work just in time for the weather to turn cooler and start putting away the bikes and summer toys.
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You have trained her to sleep next to you/on you. I don't see anyway for you to get away from her since you have taught her that being with you is the way to sleep. If you are willing to transfer her to a crib for naps and bedtime, then move her to your bed when she first wakes up, then that might work.
Yeah, to be honest this is kinda why we don't co-sleep past the first few weeks (and even then it's rare). I always figure babies sleep the way they're taught to, just like they eat the way they're taught to. A breastfed baby who never has a bottle will rightly refuse a bottle later. A bottle fed baby would also be aghast at being offered a breast, lol! Similar with sleep. My babies are used to sleeping in the crib and could not possibly fall asleep in bed with us, they fuss and wiggle forever until we move them back to their crib then they sigh and fall right to sleep happy as clams. Not that co-sleeping is wrong, it's just that you can't have it both ways. Just like once in a blue moon I'd love to snuggle my babies to sleep on me and I know I just can't past 2-3 months because by then they're accustomed to the crib and only sleep well there. Likewise my co-sleeping friends occasionally want to put the baby down to sleep in a crib and go make a phone call or help their big kids with something and they can't. 6-12 month olds are the least flexible too imo, they kinda stick with one way or the other and that's all they'll do :)
Anyway, I think basically you'll have to decide what you want ideally (besides the obvious sleep, haha!) and go from there. Like is co-sleeping important to you or was it just a convenience thing? What are your goals (just falling asleep without you, sleeping a long stretch at night, more consistent naps?) and how can you balance those with the reality of her temperament and habits?
I think if it were me I'd focus first on getting her to sleep without nursing. Rocking, shh-ing, patting, etc anything to get her to sleep without nursing. She first has to learn not to fall asleep nursing to sleep well (I define well as 2 hour naps and a 12 hour night of sleep without interruption). Maybe enlist your husbands' help. But if she's been fed within the last hour and then cuddled and such I'm sure you can make it work, I've nursed all mine but never had a problem putting them to sleep without nursing. If you want to wake her at 7am or whatever I'd nurse her for example at 7am and 8:45/9am, then change her diaper and put her down drowsy but awake by 9:15-9:30am for her first nap. When she wakes around hopefully 11am or so I'd do the same again, nursing twice and changing her diaper AFTER the second nursing so she's not falling asleep at the breast. Then do the same for evening and hopefully by 7pm she'll have had her fill of milk and not be actually hungry except for maybe a quick top-off at 10-11pm before you and your husband head to bed.
If you'd like to transition her to the crib but without crying it out I'd look into The Baby Whisperer. Your LO is a bit old for it, but I love the 4 S routine. We did that with our second and third born and second born never CIO until 6 months though he slept fantastic and even then his "crying it out" was 2 minutes (I timed it) on a handful of occasions (6-7 nap times over the course of a month at 6 months old). Our third born cried a bit more but she was younger and still was overall my best sleeper. And even her crying was not more than a few times ever. A 4 S routine or the Pick-up/Put-down routine might help you transition her gently to her own crib (or a Montessori floor bed might be a good transition if she's used to co-sleeping since you could lay nearby and gradually lay with her less and less).
Your 7pm bedtime for her really is perfect, a lot of baby sleep research says 6-8pm is ideal for bedtime for most babies and likewise 6-8am is the ideal wake up time for the day. At 6 months 2 big naps (1.5-2 hours) and 1 short nap (45-60 minutes) is very normal. A few babies can switch to 2 naps at that age but most need 3, so your DD is right on point with naps even if hers are a bit short at the moment. So I think you've set up a decent baseline and just need to tweak a few things to allow yourself some freedom to go and spend time with the older ones while she's sleeping. I know my older ones love the time after the littles go to bed too. 7pm is the time we break out the secret ice cream and board games after all ;)
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Our house sold quicker than expected (6 days!!!) and we are moving in 6 weeks from PA to NC. We may be house sitting for missionary friends or staying with my in-laws for June/July while we find a house and get settled. And we'll be traveling to NH sometime in May to visit my ailing grandma before we move south.
Baby #5 is due August 10th and my plan until this move was to take off Aug/Sept for "Summer" and school through the end of July. I still really need to do that just in case we're not able to do school until baby is 6-8 weeks old and more settled in a routine.
So, I need everyone's tips for homeschooling on the go! I have a 6th, 1st, and Preschooler (currently learning to read) and a toddler running around getting into things.
I'm thinking of doing something like this for my stuff: http://wildflowersandmarbles.com/2014/08/18/my-desk-in-a-bag/
And maybe backpacks for the kids? Any ideas for the preschooler's learning stuff like manipulatives?
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My daughter has curly hair that tangles VERY easily. Here is how we have managed:
- Making sure that the ends are in good shape. Dry, split ends seem to make the tangles worse. Since she has long hair, I can trim it myself for her.
- I usually only detangled it when it was wet with conditioner in it. The conditioner helps the hair strands slide against each other instead of clinging. And it is so much less painful. We take a section and start 1 inch from the bottom and get those tangles out. Then we move up an inch at a time. If you start too high up, then all you are doing is concentrating the tangles. Then we move on to another section. We carefully and gently rinse out the conditioner to prevent getting more tangles back in. Then we wrap her hair/head in a towel and let that sit for a while to absorb the water. Never, ever rub the hair - it just roughens the cuticle and adds more tangles. Then we repeat the process of combing from the ends out. This is much easier because the hard work was done with the aid of conditioner.
- Frequent brushing/combing is important to keep the tangles out. Again, starting from the bottom like described above.
- Braids and/or buns keep the hair from getting more tangled. Dd used to wear 2 braids until it was long enough for one.
The problem with thinning shears is that it creates so many different lengths that, unless the hair is stick straight, it will grow out looking very fuzzy. I don't recommend them.
I agree with all of this. And my mom once had the stylist thin my sisters' hair for this reason (my sisters hair was worse than mine, lol!) and it was awful. My sister cried for a week it looked so bad and it made her hair look frizzier somehow. Only very long layers work with our kind of hair.
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I had thick, long, and horribly tangled hair as a kid. I broke brushes on several occasions trying to get tangles out. Cutting it shorter honestly didn't make much difference and thick hair imo looks bad short. Even now I never ever go shorter than my shoulders.
I wish my mom had treated my hair better but I think she didn't know how to take care of it. Here's what I do with myself and my girls (one has curly thin puerto rican hair and one has wavy blonde hair so kinda thin, definitely thinner than mine, but it gets tangled badly in the back).
- Shampoo + Condition every shower and only shower every other day for thick caucasian hair. Do not use combo shampoo + conditioners, they must be separate and of a good quality. Suave Naturals is fine, Herbal Essences is fine, Organix is ideal. Do not rinse all of the conditioner out, just be sure the scalp is clean but don't rinse too much off the ends.
- brush hair every single day with a wide toothed comb or wide bristle brush (this style: http://www.turbosquid.com/3d-models/hairbrush-brush-hair-3d-model/290725 not this style: http://www.luckyvitamin.com/p-187114-ambassador-hairbrushes-pure-natural-bristle-hairbrush-oval-dark-wood) Daily maintenance means it will never get too bad and it builds up head tolerance for a little tugging. My 2 year old sits and lets me brush and french braid her hair or put it up in whatever style I've chosen every day. She just knows it's part of life and never fusses. My 13 year old it's taken me over a year to undo some of her bad habits from not being made to do this with her birth family! And we still have a long way to go before I can let her independently take care of her hair without her resorting to ripping out the tangles like she was doing before.
- Use detangle spray liberally on damp hair or just do leave-in-conditioner
- Have your DD do morning showers and style the hair wet, way easier for all hair types! Before bed do 2 braids just like Laura Ingalls :) Seriously, those 2 pigtail braids were not just the style, they were essential for keeping hair tidy. If the hair gets tangled a lot during the day try alternating braids (especially dutch braids), buns, and sock buns to protect it while she plays.
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I think like ALB mentioned just reading ahead in each subject could really help you feel more on top of things with teaching the specific topics and answering questions as they come up. ITA with others though that often the best teachers just have the character qualities of patience and kindness and are organized enough to keep everyone going. Those teachers will say "What a great question! Let's go look it up!" and know where to direct the students for answers. In this way you don't need to be an expert on everything and you actually build confidence in your children to seek out answers to questions and that asking questions is a good thing.
If you're looking at just being more educated as a whole and more confident as a parent/teacher, SWB also has a great talk on educating yourself while you're educating your kids.
Sometimes I find my least strong subjects are easier to teach because I've made those mistakes and see where the kids are coming from and how to fix them. I struggle to teach reading because I'm such a strong reader myself that I fight against that "but isn't it obvious!?!" reaction to every mistake, lol! So I use a scripted curriculum for teaching my dyslexic daughter to read and life is good. She's learning and I'm less stressed. Math I can easily teach in Elementary because I'm not as strong in that, just like you, and I think that's pretty normal to have an easier time teaching the subjects you are less comfortable with :) Being aware of those things in yourself is important.
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I wouldn't eat it, and I love fish and corn. The fish looks funky and dry, why is the roll on top of it??, and the corn looks overcooked or something.
When I was in elementary school I did not eat lunch from 4th-5th grade at all. 2 years without lunch, my mom sent money and I bought the lunch because I was required to but never ate it. In middle school (6th-8th) I ate select portions, mostly just drank the milk. In high school I brought my own or skipped lunch altogether. My mom refused to make us packed lunches so I had to wait until high school when I was allowed to make what I wanted myself or bring my own money for a pop-tart from the vending machine.
If my kids ever go to school they will not eat school lunch. DD13 did it as our foster child and gained 5 lbs in one month when she was already technically obese, ugh! Adopted her and started homeschooling her 6 months ago, put her in swim team, and for the first time since she was 8 she is in the healthy BMI range. We did not do anything crazy at home, just don't offer the fatty gross food like schools do and brought her to swim practice 3x a week as required by the team.
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My DH has been looking for employment for 8 months now and since Christmas out of state as well and no luck. Honestly job hunting is rough nowadays, especially when you're not local. Non-local jobs won't even consider some people solely because of location. We're in a harder situation though because DH is switching careers.
A few tips we have heard from people who successfully found a job out of state:
1. use a local address (of a family member or close friend...if the hiring person asks explain that you're relocating as of ____ date and this is where you'll be staying once you get in the state. They're usually just fine with that.)
2. include an expected relocation date on the resume if applicable
3. network network network. Our best leads and 3/4 of the interviews DH has gotten have been from networking. Talk to acquaintances in the area, not just direct family or close friends. A friend of a friend was who got Dh his last lead and we'd never even met the guy but he was totally helpful and actually is still keeping an eye out on DH's behalf.
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I've also heard it said that a pastor should make somewhere around the median of households in his congregation. I have no idea how you'd gauge that short of taking a congregational poll. Not sure that would go over well.
I've heard this as well. Some places gauge this by looking at comparable education and requirements, so for example many use the local Assistant Principal salary as a guideline for the pastor. Both require Master's degree and are definitely more than 40 hour a week jobs with a substantial amount of responsibility. The areas who do that often say that lay ministers (music minister, youth minister, etc) should make about what a teacher's salary is since those have similar requirements in needing a Bachelor's and some experience in that particular area.
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I've heard lots of people say Magnesium starting a week before their period is supposed to start helps with both the extreme cramps and the flow isn't quite so bad. Occasionally heavy cramping can be from low progesterone too (the natural hormone, not the synthetic version used for BCP). I know my periods are much better when I'm taking progesterone cream. I use Pro-gest cream twice a day from ovulation through my period whenever my progesterone levels get too low because otherwise I have a super short luteal phase and just have awful cramps and such.
I'd also suggest trying not to use tampons and see if that helps. I cannot use them because they cause severe cramping for me.
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How about journaling? Or sketching? If she's good with her hands I bet she'd be good at drawing and there are tons of great how-to-draw books out there.
Otherwise how about teaching her how to sew either by hand or with a machine? She could make cute simple cotton skirts or drawstring backpacks or purses for summer.
Painting peg dolls is a popular thing to do right now, depending on her age she might be able to handle trying her hand at painting little dolls. Etsy has cute examples everything from Disney princesses to saints and other bible characters.
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We're pretty laid back, free-range-ish parents (Catholic and Lutheran mainstream types) and I think the church leader's behavior isn't appropriate. I see a few red flags:
1. texting minors privately is odd
2. you asked him to include you in the list and he has not (super suspicious)
3. he acts like he doesn't understand email to get around your request to have appropriate email communication (makes no sense for anyone under 70 to not understand how to handle email)
4. your daughter, who sounds like a good kid, is bending the rules only in this one area, which suggests *he's* making the kids feel it's weird to not be okay with these things
5. leaving an event with the kids without permission is just a big no-no, anyone working in churches or anyplace knows you don't just change locations with a big group without permission
6. lack of chaperones (only his sister ever? Acting confused? He's a teacher he should absolutely be aware of basic child protection practices in churches and schools, as a teacher this training is done regularly and they're very serious about it, also most churches require boundaries workshops for all child workers and boundaries workshops cover this sort of thing a lot)
My husband (31) was a Lutheran pastor who was in charge of the youth and family stuff at his fairly mid-size church and yeah he would never text a teen. He would text parents, e-mail group things, or call the house phone and ask the parent if the kid was there if he needed to ask the youth something (like if they'd be okay with serving at worship that sunday).
Also, I agree that leaving at 1am to go to a diner with the kids needs to be a planned event, not some spur of the minute thing. What if they'd gotten in a car accident and nobody knew where they were? What if a parent had a family emergency and needed to pick the kid up last minute and went to the church to discover everyone was gone with no idea where?
At best he's trying too hard to be cool and cares more about that than the safety of the teens in his care. At worst? This could be grooming for abuse. Not definitely, but it could be and it sets off enough red flags I'd limit my kids' involvement in the group. Also, because there are some clear rules broken I would try to firmly bring it up with him again and then go to the leadership and tell them (not in a tattling way but just in a "hey, this is what I see and I wanted to let you know I'm concerned and I think you should know" kind of way).
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In my opinion, it's worth giving phonics instruction to a kid who's likely to teach herself to read by sight. I believe phonics is important for developing spelling skills and for figuring out what more complex words mean (because how the word is put together can indicate etymology).
I agree, sight reading can be a bad habit to break and impacts spelling and can contribute to that 4th grade slump where the words they're reading aren't always words they already know so they need to be able to sound out unfamiliar words and names. This impacts comprehension and just comfort with reading. I never had much phonics instruction as a kid and I really ought to have, I have a photographic memory for print so I got away with it but most of my peers taught without phonics can't spell at all, lol! Anyway, this was why I went ahead and taught my son using phonics. He could recognize the word "veterinary" in context and tell us randomly in the car but I wanted him to be able to sound out ANY word he encountered even in an unusual or new context, not just parrot stuff out that he's already seen a lot.
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The two things I did with my early reader were to run my finger under the words as I read, and to give him letter fridge magnets. He would ask me what the letters were and I would tell him. If he hadn't asked, I would not have pursued it. He learned his letters pretty quickly, but blending took a lot longer. So we carried on playing with sounds casually and waited. There was a couple of years' lag between learning his letter sounds and starting to read. I suspect he had the idea a bit earlier though and kept it secret.
All that to say: it's fine to make materials available, but I wouldn't do much more. Physical skills are very important, however: hand strength (clay, scissors) and gross motor strength (playground, swimming, etc.).
This is similar to our experience. Fridge magnets and drawing letters on the magna doodle were favorite activities for awhile. When he had known his letter sounds for at least 6 months I started seeing if he could blend them if I wrote 3 letters on the magna doodle. Just very gradual work on it when he asked to play with letters. At 2.5 he was able to blend on the magna doodle a bit and so I bought OPGTR. I pulled it open to lesson 27 I think (the first one after all the letters are introduced) and pulled out a Bob book (a Christmas gift for him). He read his first word that day, right after Christmas. We did OPGTR lessons for fun on his bed in lieu of nap time (he was starting to drop the nap early) just like Jessie and Susan suggest and they were like 10 minutes max of oral 'lessons'. We did it 3x a week on average. He loved them and took off with reading.
I found that my kids tend to make leaps in understanding every 6 months, often right around the birthdays and half birthdays. My little play attempts to blend with Tobias didn't catch on until he hit 2.5 in December, then it clicked. He is like this on all skills whether he's ahead or behind, he makes those big leaps around the birthday or half birthday mark. So if your DD has known the letter sounds for 6+ months then I think it'd be totally reasonable to start blending letters with magnets or by writing CVC words on the magna doodle or in sand. Keep it 3D and fun at first for at least a few months and then see if she's ready to try it in a real book like a Bob Book. If she's not ready no big deal.
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Yes i'd love to see her use all verb forms accurately but right now my focus is truly just singular vs plural as a starting point. Unfortunately her speech therapists are no good. They will only do 30 min a week though insurance approved more, and they play go fish and ask her to name attributes of bees and practice st blends... I've said numerous times it's her vocabulary and sentence structure i'm concerned about, not articulation, but they don't work on those. My husband is unemployed so we're moving and i told him we have to move to a city with better services for Ana. It's ridiculous here.
Elizabeth, i'll have to look into that Super Duper thing you mentioned, i assume it's a curriculum provider?
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Coming back to add that I have known when I needed medical intervention and/or therapy when I had suicidal thoughts and when I was so overwhelmed and my senses so dulled that I was barely able to meet the children's minimal needs. For me, it was situational (my dh was unemployed while my mother was disabled and in the process of dying and one of my kids was being diagnosed with delays/issues). My dh eventually got a job, my mother passed away and I grieved, and I adjusted to having a child with special needs. Being depressed was not my norm. I was also very anxious during that time and found myself unable to make the simplest decisions. I would become paralyzed about what toddler car seat to buy, for instance. That is not my norm, either.
Sending you some (((hugs))), Moxie.
Yes this is my experience of depression as well though mine is constant and not situational. But it manifests very similarly.
I normally function fine but situations or hormones can tip the scales so that i require more than sunshine, exercise, and an afternoon alone to cope. My personal guideline for when i get on medication or not are the following:
- suicidal thoughts
- intrusive thoughts (this is a ppd thing but crazy random thoughts or images that don't make sense)
- unable to take care of kids basic needs without feeling crazy overwhelmed
- anxious about simple decisions (ie the carseat example above)
- anxious about simple things (driving, meeting new people, and caring for the kids alone for a weekend are common things to get overly anxious about for moms)
- yelling at kids/husband over normal behavior (ie leaving socks on the floor)
- unable to exercise (feels like it'd take a monumental effort to even walk on the treadmill)
- zero interest in things i like (ie sewing, drawing, reading) like suddenly even all tv shows seem terribly dull
- not wanting to go to church/spiritual crisis. I've especially noticed if i am avoiding confession like the plague i'm probably really depressed, lol
- everything makes me feel tired/no change or improvement energizes me for more than a day max
So any 2-3 of those = severe enough depression to use meds to get myself out of the rut. Those would also be good signs of benefitting from counseling if you have access to counseling in your area.
I agree with a pp that Susan Bauer's talk on burnout is excellent and very worth a listen! She does a good job talking about depression and burnout imo.
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She can hear the "s" though she sometimes skips it when saying it out of laziness (s and z sounds are hard for hearing impaired kiddos). But 90% of the time she can do the plural sounds accurately. Her hearing is like 85% accurate with hearing aids so she's not like a completely deaf child which makes things a bit easier. And yes, she was definitely encouraged to make guesses without understanding for years in public school, and often the teachers just said "oh, she's deaf, it's great that at least she can do something!" and reported her progress as "great" even though she was failing to meet 2nd grade standards in 5th grade and had stalled out in most subjects.
Anyway, back to subject-verb agreement :) As in the example above she does it even when it's not an "s" at the end of the word. Like she might say "Ben and Peter has gone to play." or in Barton lessons make a sentence like "Mr. Smith are mad." She'll read it correctly so I praise her :) but then I'll talk about why Mr. Smith is singular and are is plural and how they don't match and all that stuff. She'll nod and fix it, then make the exact same mistake next time. So while it's definitely a language issue I don't think in these cases it's an issue of her not hearing the words or sounds correctly.
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Anyone know of any resources to help teach subject-verb agreement? Even after going over this topic continuously DD is seriously unable to understand the problem with saying things like "The bad kid haven't been at camp." A few simple worksheets isn't going to cut it, she needs some sort of explicit hard-and-fast teaching and continual review.
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I sell mine online and have never had an issue. So if I buy new and sell used I end up spending $50-100 per level. Yes that could be as much as $1000 by level 10 but that's for many years of a full remedial language arts curriculum. We go through 2-3 levels per year so that means $100-150 per year which is about what you'd spend for a decent full language arts curriculum for the year anyway. And knowing how much private orton-gillingham tutoring costs that is a deal!
I do buy a second set of tiles when I buy the new set online, that way I've got all the tiles I need. I didn't realize that at first and made that mistake at first but now I know better :) The tiles are cheap and nicely made wooden ones that last awhile! If I don't end up using them for my younger kiddos I'll just sell them in a big batch on ebay when we're all done with Barton Level 10.
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Our DD13 was diagnosed with ADHD and since she's had issues like getting hyper and accidentally dropping her toddler sister and then crying all night long because she felt so badly (we didn't even reprimand her) we decided to trial ADHD meds (focalin). Before the meds we had been experiencing bouts of tantrums from her on a pretty regular basis. Usually no big deal, just tween attitude and stomping and slamming doors, but occasionally enough that she would work herself into hysterics and say mean things to us out of anger. On ADHD meds those don't happen like at all! Especially if I'm careful to only ask difficult things of her before 5pm when the meds wear off. I mentioned it to the pediatrician because I was surprised, that had really not been an effect we'd been expecting, and she said she hears that all the time from parents. Meds = far fewer angry and emotional outbursts and defiance.
My theory is that with ADHD and the things that can come with those (processing issues, executive function issues, etc.) life is just constantly difficult and frustrating and darn confusing for our kids. I know I'm liable to get angry and say mean things when I'm frustrated and overwhelmed. I can't even imagine how I'd act if that's how I felt 24/7 over normal tasks others expected me to do (like say sitting and doing an age appropriate math problem).
So I think for some medication can be the answer especially if it's uncomplicated ADHD. Like a PP mentioned of course if depression/anxiety are a concern you have to be really careful. And we suspect alcohol related disorder in DD given the family history so I researched which ADHD meds worked best with kids who have things like FAS because there are distinct brain differences there. So if depression is a concern AND you want to try meds I'd research and talk to the doctor about which are least likely to exacerbate depression. I'm typically one to be very slow to even consider meds but for us they have been wonderful, have zero side effects, and help DD focus better so all her efforts at schoolwork and good behavior actually have results. The poor kid was trying so hard before to be good but failing daily because it was just so hard.
Also, as others mentioned teaching coping skills like using a trampoline, exercising regularly, using fidget or chewing items during schoolwork, etc. is great. And just keeping the environment ADHD-friendly. Anything to really truly help the ADHD and help her not be so frustrated all the time.
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I just discovered Pandia Press' REAL Science materials and that's what my advanced 1st grader will be using next year for science. They have a Life Science level 1 and then you can move on to level Earth & Space and so on. It kinda follows TWTM recommendation as far as sequence. It is totally secular and includes reading and labwork which I like. And it goes in depth with the subjects in an age appropriate way, covering living/nonliving, cells, and the classification of animals in the elementary life science text. The makers of the curriculum should be done with their level 2, or middle grades, set of curriculums by the time our kids need them.
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I had my ears pierced as a baby and I've almost always worn earrings. My studs stay in 24/7 but my longer first hole earrings are in most of the time too unless I'm sick. I think I look sloppy with no earrings on and generally don't leave the house like that, it'd be like leaving the house without shoes ;) I have 7 ear holes technically but my cartilage closed up twice so I just let it go and it is gone at this moment. I also got my nose pierced at 24. I LOVE my piercings.
DD13 has her ears pierced and wears little studs or hoops most days but not all. She's 13 so I figure that's pretty normal. She doesn't have a desire for more right now, she remembers getting hers pierced at like 8 or 9 and it hurt, lol!
DD2 does not have her ears pierced yet since I noticed very few babies here had pierced ears so we'll wait until she asks in earnest and then let her pierce them probably around 4-7 years old. She's already asked for them and tries to put my earrings in her ears :)
DH has his ear pierced as well ;) He got his pierced at 10 by his request. Our sons don't have theirs pierced yet but if they asked at 10 or older we'd allow it as long as they didn't want plugs (HATE plugs, too permanent for my taste). I figure regular holes will close up over time so piercing isn't a big deal. My sister pierced her lip and it looked dumb in my opinion but I never said anything and she let it close 3 years later and you'd never know she ever had it. No reason to fuss over a tiny hole.
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No it is not OK. The Intergalactic Math Police will hunt you down and force you to take longer doing your math.
Bahaha! Gotta watch out for those Math Police ;)
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Our daughter's neuropsychologist told us to never take summer off for her, never more than 2 weeks break at a time really. I clarified with him and he confirmed my plans as a good idea. This is our plan for summer:
4-5 Days a Week:
Math- 30 minutes
Reading (Barton)- 45 minutes
Independent Reading (audiobooks) - 30 minutes
And then I'm hoping to provide sensible free time activities for our 2 hour afternoon quiet time. Puzzles, Crochet, Art Projects, Music Journaling (Ana likes to copy songs out in her notebook), Loom Bands, etc. All of these hands-on things really do build fine motor and logic skills imo and are useful ways to fill afternoons and keep their brains going. I'm also wanting to get a few new board games before summer so the kids can do those.
**we also will be doing this "Summer Schedule" August-September because that is when the baby is due. We will do normal school as far into July as I can manage, then start 7th and 2nd and Preschool for real October 1st when the baby will be 8 weeks old and hopefully sleeping better :) **
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Latest edition of the Mommy Wars-Article for discussion: report it if we see kids left alone?
in The Chat Board
Posted
I completely agree. My oldest daughter needed to be taken by CPS due to several issues with her birth family, it was clearly an unsafe environment, and yet I still get surprised about how traumatized she is by the being taken, not by her circumstances before she was taken. She is terrified of police and visibly shakes when a cop car comes by. An animal control officer came by to check on our chickens once because they were new and she was just so shaken up by it, she said she thought he was coming to take her. To subject a child to that for anything short of clear and obvious abuse/neglect is ridiculous. Letting an 8 year old stay in the car for a few minutes (or even half an hour for that matter!) is not obvious abuse or neglect. And I say "letting them stay" vs "leaving" because "leaving" suggests the kid doesn't have legs or is locked against their will in the car. What 8 year old isn't capable of opening a door or window? What 8 year old isn't capable of deciding if they would rather hang out in the car with a book on a nice day vs trail after mom on a boring shopping trip.
When my sister and I were little our mom (super over-protective, had a reputation for being so) would let us stay in the car at gas stations (before credit cards could be swiped at the pump) at 4 and 5 years old. By 8-9 we would opt to hang out in the car instead of following along on boring shopping trips for up to 30-45 minutes. We'd read books, play our game boys, goof off, whatever. The door was locked and we knew not to open it for strangers. Nobody ever even looked in like they were concerned, it wouldn't have been on anyone's radar in the 80's and early 90's.
What do people really think is going to happen in a car? And if they think the parent genuinely forgot their baby/toddler in the car (it can happen when the plan changes last minute or the baby is asleep and the parent forgets they brought them) then why would they call the cops? If you think a parent genuinely forgot or genuinely made an error in misjudging the weather or the child's ability to behave then my logical choice would be to watch for a few minutes, then if I was really worried go into the store and ask a manager to call up the owner of the blue sedan or whatever and tell the parent discretely that you noticed the child in the car and were concerned they might have forgotten or that it was too hot or that the child was acting up, etc. Then if it was an honest mistake the parent goes and gets the child and child is safe and with their good but scatter-brained parent ;) If it was an error in judgement the parent goes and gets the child and child is safe and the parent knows that maybe they need to be more careful. If you misjudged and the parent assures you that their child is not 4, they're just a short 11 year old then you laugh and apologize and say have a nice day, knowing the child is safe and fine to be in a car on their own for a bit. Really, does anyone think a parent who lets a kid hang out in a car for a few minutes is automatically a dangerous parent all around? Or that police are required to make even the slightest adjustment in other people's behaviors?
No, save CPS for the child who is barefoot and begging for food every day during school hours or coming to school with bruises. Save the police for people who are obviously breaking into a house or selling drugs on the street. If we criminalize minor mistakes we take some of the stigma away from the true crimes. And calling CPS should always be weighed like this: "Is this overall home situation potentially more dangerous than the trauma of being dragged off screaming and crying from home by strange policemen."