*Lulu*
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Posts posted by *Lulu*
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Oh.My.Goodness.
She sounds like the MIL from hell!
I think you are completely right not to allow her to cause problems in your marriage. And i think that your DH's desire to care for his mother, despite her poor behavior, speaks volumes about the sort of man he is.
I get putting up with crazy relations. I even get caring for a parent that by all rights should be written off. (We deal with a great deal of this with my grandmother and dad.)
I also, however, think that when she crosses the line from mental/emotional torment into physical that the rules are changed. Could you arrange to be gone when she visits? Could DH go visit her instead? Does your DH realize she is physically harming you?
If she was doing something to one of your children to purposely, physically cause harm I imagine that neither you or your DH would stand for it. You are as worthy of that protection as they are.
:grouphug: I hope you and your DH can find a way to navigate this with your sanity and sense of humor in tact!
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Does he suffer the same level of anxiety at home?
I ask because instituting a rest time, (AKA Mommy's alone time), every day might give you the breathing space you need. None of mine suffer from an over abundance of separation anxiety, but I desperately need a little alone time each day to function. We have a rest time in the afternoon where the kids look at books and then may quietly play in their rooms. While they do that, I exercise, watch a little mindless tv, read a book, or check e-mail.
It might not help address his anxieties, but maybe it could help you keep from becoming overwhelmed at his level of need right now.
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Oops! Double post!
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You have received some great advice already, esp. about starting to transition in an unschooly way this summer.
I would also encourage you, (when you begin more formal schooling this fall), to focus first on the basics plus maybe one thing that really interests your crew. After a few months you'll begin to find a groove and can start to incorporate more of the extras. Also, do NOT feel discouraged if you have to take every single plan you've made and scrap it. The ability to change is IMHO one of the most wonderful blessings of homeschooling. If something isn't working you do not have to wait until next year, you can make a change/course correction any time you see one is needed.
Also let me suggest Homeschooling: Take A Deep Breath- You Can Do This by Terri Lynn Bittner. It really helped me when I was feeling overwhelmed in the beginning.
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You can also half the butter and add white bean puree.
Whole wheat pastry flour is also a great substitute for part of the all-purpose flour.
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I am looking at ordering Saxon 5/4 and wondered if anyone knew how the home study program compares to the regular classroom texts?
TIA
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My science minded son started hating it after a few months of try to use a textbook we had picked up at the library. I had to radically alter course to get his interest back.
I have been doing much of what pp have suggested as well as using the physics and chemistry experiment books SWB recommends in WTM. I have also found that keeping a science basket with experiments and investigations that can be done independently has really revitalized his interest in science.
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There were a few of these sort of things on a board where I used to be a member.
One turned out to be a poster with too much bull and too little life.
The other turned out to be legitimate. She was legitimately hard headed, unbalanced and in need of a dose of reality, but she was legitimate.
Personally I am not one who trusts easily. Even IRL I do not always take people at face value. I try to give folks online the benefit of the doubt, but if I detect a strong aroma of manure from a post/thread I just back away. (And make a mental note!)
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I've been a Republican on paper since I turned 18, but I voted libertarian above b/c that is how I lean. And as for how I eat, it is the same as how I vote..........however I dang well see fit. :D
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We are somewhere in between.
I disagree with the state grade level expectations here, so neither of my elementary age students are "at grade level". (Whatever :rolleyes: )
However, they should be at or above grade level by 5th or 6th grade. DH and I pinky-swore and spit on it that the kids would not attend PS before 5th grade. He wants us to re-evaluate before middle school and again before high school.
I'd like to HS all the way through, but will keep an open mind and allow the kids input after we reach the 5th grade mark.
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No.
Of course if the situation were reversed I would have taken two bites. :blushing:
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The passive-aggressive in me would want to make a donation in her name to an organization that works with special needs children, or a group that works with adults that have personality disorders. (My kids would never need to know WHY I chose that particular charity/organization.)
Or you could just send her a nice card.
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Ever since Katrina I have been VERY careful about letting my kids watch the news. (We actually saw a family member on the coverage seconds before the commentator launched into an account of people shooting each other in the civic center. :glare: )
We discuss natural disasters as they come up. Usually in conjunction with what our church is doing to help.
Military actions, well.....
DBIL has served two tours in Iraq and we have been careful how we've presented that to the kids. (They are very close to thier Uncle and missed him terribly.) They have heard about 9/11 and UBL, but not in great detail. We always truthfully answer questions, but we do not start a lot of discussions on this topic. We tell the kids that he DBIL would much rather be at home with us, but that his job is protecting and helping people, and sometimes that means going far away for awhile. We, in turn, focus on how we can help him and the people he serves with. (And then the adults just thank God that the worst injury he sustained in 2 tours was playing b-ball at the camp!)
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I've heard more people worried about the containers used to reheat food in the microwave than the actual reheating of the food itself.
(My mother is convinced that her MIL's microwaving all her meals on styrofoam plates is the leading cause of her, um, specialness. )
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The only thing I can think of, is a long time ago my children had a pediatric dentist that had a large open room where multiple patients were treated at the same time. So, if that's the case, perhaps they don't allow because you would be seeing other patients and hearing of their treatments, conditions, etc. Otherwise, it just doesn't make any sense. If it is due to a large open bay treatment area, I would seek another dentist. If it is due to their ignorance of the law, I would make sure they understood that obviously as the parent you will be made aware of treatment, and therefore be allowed in the room.
Our dentist as a large room where the routine work is done, and parents routinely sit back there. The more involved procedures are done in more private areas, but that is more about kids not being freaked out by another patient's procedure than it is about HIPAA.
With my older two I try not to go back during regular cleanings b/c I want my kids to have a chance to feel some independence, but I can and do wander back to check on them as I see fit. (You know, between chapters of whatever I've been waiting to read!) Now ds4 didn't want me next to him at his last cleaning, so I just sat on the couch in the back cleaning area. Close enough to see/hear if he needed me, far enough away for him to feel "big".
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My oldest has been my "helper" from the day HIS sister arrived. (He never let anyone forget for a moment that he considered her to be HIS. :) ) There are 32 months between them, so he was helpful with bringing diapers or entertaining her for a few minutes. By the time ds#2 was 2, ds#1 was helping fasten car seats, find hats, and so on.
Now that the youngest is 4, the only real responsibility I give them for each other, (besides finding things, squeezing toothpaste, and moving bikes), is when they play outside I expect them to keep an eye out for each other. Specifically the older two to look out for their little brother. We are on a dead end and I always have the doors and windows open watching, but I do expect whoever is out front to be "buddies".
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We do year round here as well. We school six days a week for six weeks, then take two weeks off. (I plan and the kids do hands on projects, experiments, and in general just follow where their curiosity leads.)
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In some situations I have corrected other people's children in front of them. When I have it was either an issue of safety, (i.e. do not swing the baseball bat so close to your friend's head), property destruction, (i.e. do not break the legs off of the doll), or oblivion, (i.e. Mom is on the phone and does not realize that one sibling is torturing another, etc.). In the case of the latter, I have only corrected in cases where I knew pretty well how the parent would handle the situation.
Only once has a stranger stepped in to provide "discipline" to my children in a helpful way. When I was VERY pregnant with #3, my 20m.o. took off in a store; a sweet woman grabbed her before she could completely escape and told her very sternly how she had to stay with her mother. At that moment that woman was a real blessing.
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Um. Wow. :svengo:
I believe that Amy Vanderbilt may have just rolled over in her grave.
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Lady Anne Toby-Sandhurst. However we will not be attending. Our family has avoid the royals ever since the Germans co-opted our monarchy.
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Okay, you are at your burn out point. Will you be able to recharge after you finish this year?
Looking forward to next year- maybe you need to let go of the approach you've been using and come at it from a new direction. If you had no older child, if DD was the first you'd ever homeschooled, you would have tailored your approach to her. A shake up might help shake up how both of you are feeling about schooling as well.
I have three very different personalities in my crew, with three very different needs, education-wise, so I have the above dialogue with myself frequently. :001_smile:
ARGH MIL
in General Education Discussion Board
Posted · Edited by BLA5
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