hshibley
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Posts posted by hshibley
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Yes we did that after our minivan died years ago. It worked out fine. As the kids got older the number of times we need 2 cars to go somewhere wasn’t more than 2 or 3 times a month.
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If I’m planning the vacation I pay.
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Just now, heartlikealion said:
Nothing is set in stone but I also don’t want to send a message I’ll just follow him anytime he moves. Especially with no discussion. Wouldn’t be surprised if he stays there one semester, doesn’t land a job, can’t afford to stay, and moves again! There’s a reason we didn’t live in the town by the grandparents. The math didn’t work.
This is not about your xh it’s your children. You need to change your mindset. It’s the kids period.
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At your dd age time matters. Put in the time year round to see your dd.
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1 hour ago, Granny_Weatherwax said:
The Union sent a message (by text) to the workers as soon as the results were announced. It's a blow. They also voted against extending the cooling off period.
What happens if they ignore congress and strike anyway?
So sorry for you and your family as well as others in your situation.
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2 hours ago, saraha said:
Wow, the comments on one of the articles are really ugly towards the rail workers. I guess I’m just at a point where I’m willing to hurt some for the betterment of people who do our most important jobs.
Do you think those comments are real people or bots and posters from troll farms? I see the same thing and can’t believe these are actual people’s opinions.
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12 minutes ago, Spy Car said:
About an hour ago the House passed two bills. One that would put the negotiated settlement into place and another separate measure that would add 7 days of sick leave to the original package.
It now goes to the Senate.
Bill
My understanding is that the separate sick leave bill is unlikely to pass the senate.
The lack of sick leave is appalling given the record profits.
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1 hour ago, Corraleno said:
I've seen a lot of posts and tweets today pointing out the contrast between two unarmed gay guys risking their lives to take down an active shooter in minutes, versus the 376 fully armed cops who stood around for more than an hour while school children bled to death.
If you read online accounts he was beaten to the point where the police weren’t sure if he was alive by the exmilitary person there as well as a drag performer. This is what happens when you feel kinship to the people in danger.
Also as a side note to point out how this bar was a source of community. Colorado Springs is the home base for focus on the family. There was an interesting piece on npr today talking about being gay in the town that’s home to focus on the family.
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I’m sorry for your loss. Lifting you and your family up to the light.
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28 minutes ago, pinball said:
Family estrangement is higher than it used to be. It’s been said 1 in 4 people report a level of family estrangement.
is FE the same as going no contact? Not necessarily.
but if the reports of increases are accurate, I’d bet that there is a social spread component.
I wonder how much of it is a social spread component vs how easy it is to keep in contact with people (which for some may be more contact than they want).
I remember doing a little internet research on Laura Ingles Wilder and reading about how after they left the big woods for good they never saw their grandparents again. (Not that they wanted to go no contact obviously) It just really struck me how today you’d never lose contact with people/relatives like that unless you really went out of your way to break contact.
I wonder how many people today have to go to the extreme of telling someone they are breaking contact with them vs how it could have more naturally happened in the past.
Also as a side note keep in mind how many posters here talk about cutting off contact with parents/in-laws they view as being toxic. I think this is not just a phenomenon of the young.
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5 minutes ago, Scarlett said:
At Lowes before he got the Monday through Friday job he was scheduled many times to work until 11 p.m and then have to go in the next morning at 6:00 a.m.
This was my kids experience working at McDonald’s after they turn 18. Many closing shifts getting out sometime between 11 and 12 then opening shifts the following morning between 5 and 6.
My dh and I were on a trip last year. We were heading back to our hotel room after breakfast sharing the elevator with a young man who worked in the hotel restaurant. Chatting he mentioned how he had closed the restaurant the night before and was opening the restaurant that morning.
This experience seems ubiquitous with service workers now.
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1 hour ago, Scarlett said:
Exactly. Let people work the shifts they can work to fit their life.
This summer I applied for work at home customer service work. I immediately got an email for a recorded video interview. Then immediately got an email for next round…..along with their terms. I would have to agree to be available for shifts between 7 am to 9 pm 7 days a week. Um that would be a hard pass.
There was a piece on NPR about this this summer. The person they were interviewing was pointing out that there was a lot employers could do to hire/keep service employees other than just raising starting wages - a stable schedule, not scheduling employees to close one night and open the next morning, intervening when customers are out of control.
When I was in college I worked 2 jobs over the summer. One was only mornings and early afternoons. The other was evenings at a grocery store. Now you can’t do that. Unless you are a high schooler protected by labor laws, you need to be available for all shifts the store is open.
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1 hour ago, Melissa Louise said:
I have a strong sense that people who think their children are 'too deserving' for this experience may be playing a part in upholding it - my son's workplace is better off, employee wise, for having him in it. He helps co-workers make sure they know their rights, and helps them check that they are not being underpaid. He takes part in union and other activism, while still maintaining productive relationships with managers. These are good things to do in the workplace - we need good, intelligent, capable and concerned young people being active in these jobs.
I think it’s important to remember that depending on where you live your rights vary greatly. (I realize you live in Australia and I do not know your labor laws). I live in an at will state (similar to right to work states) there are very few worker protections and you can be fired easily.
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4 of my kids have worked at McDonald’s as teens. They’ve had drinks thrown at them, been cussed out by customers, etc. It’s not character building. It’s abusive, but that’s the reality of working service jobs in the U S today. It’s nothing like working a service job in the 80’s when I was a teen.
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Our worst experience with this was elementary school. My youngest dd went to ps K-1 it was all disjointed worksheets and independent learning using online programs. She’s not a natural at math and really struggled. She’s been homeschooled since covid and we’ve been plugging along with Rod and Staff just fine. I think for a nonmathy kid using just one resource-an incremental textbook is just easier than a mishmash of resources.
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Here there’s no room in the budget for textbooks. My kids have had classes where the teacher has created their own curriculum with all the resources from scratch. They’ve also had classes (mostly AP) where teachers have themselves bought a selection of used textbooks on line so the kids can have a textbook to use as reference at home. As a society we’ve decided not to fully fund the classroom. Yes you can argue that we spend $XX per student but when you look at what actually gets to your child’s classroom/teacher it’s just not enough and not a priority in our country.
You can fail test in my kids public school.
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6 hours ago, Grace Hopper said:
I am about to…graduate….into a new age bracket. A friend suggested I think about a mini-tri. Have you seen older women walking rather than running at events like these? I would be slow - side stroke swimmer, cautious biker, quick walker rather than runner - but I’m thinking about making it a goal for next fall. It will take work because I am definitely out of shape at the moment.
There are all kinds of people at a Tri. Walking the run is fine. Just check the time cutoff for the race to be sure you’ll make it in the allotted time. If you’re planning for next fall try working up to a run/walk - you run or jog a certain time say for minutes then walk a certain time say 1 minute.
I did a sprint 700 yard open water swim, 15 mile bike and 5k run. It was a good distance to start.
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Good for you. I didn’t run or weigh train until I turned 50. Since then multiple half marathons,1 full marathon (I’m training for my second), and 1 triathlon. I belong to a running group where loads of us are in our 50s+. One woman in our group is 70+ and just completed a half Ironman. Enjoy your journey.
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2 minutes ago, Scarlett said:
I realize there are often different plans offered but I still don’t know why it isn’t made public. It is an important consideration.
Probably because there’s nothing to consider until they make an offer
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24 minutes ago, prairiewindmomma said:
Fine, those that the tax cuts made in the 80s that led to the stripping of public funding for education and funding for infrastructure coupled with a lot of deregulation in various markets including housing which led to the 2007-2009 housing collapse…which led to a lot of builders leaving the marketplace…which has led us to where we are today.
Also the zoning codes from the 80’s requiring minimum 1 acre house lots.
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1 minute ago, Wheres Toto said:
It probably varies in different parts of the country and world. Way less likely in any kind of incorporated town/city limits, but possible in rural outlying areas. We are technically not even allowed to have someone living in an RV on our property in our town, and there are very strict rules about access to utilities.
I grew up in poverty. Extremely poor, single mom who didn't have a high school diploma until I was a teen. We lived with family in crowded conditions when I was really young, in inexpensive "garden" apartments when I was school age. We often didn't have heat, toilet water might freeze in winter, we didn't have any extras, just barely enough food but we did always have a roof, walls and running water.
I definitely don't see young people (I have a 28 year old daughter) just spending indiscriminately having a great old time while not thinking about the future at all. I see young people living with parents, sharing apartments, and working hard trying to save enough to feel like they have any choices at all.
I do think around the 80's there was more of an attitude of not scrimping so much you can't enjoy life now, because you never know if you're even going to make it to old age.
Yeah the RV or shed in back would be illegal here. I know crappy apartments are part of life. I’ve never known anyone who lives completely without plumbing. There was an example earlier in the thread about a family living in a dwelling to save money where they were urinating in a drain due to lack of a toilet. I find that shocking.
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Is it even legal to have a residence with no indoor plumbing and running water? I can’t imagine it being an acceptable residence and pass zoning. A communal bathroom in a rooming house I could see but you still have water and plumbing.
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46 minutes ago, Terabith said:
Well, and if school security intervened, presumably this event took place at school, probably at a kid’s event. Both parents kinda go to those. It’s not fair to say she can’t go to her kid’s game or concert or conference or whatever because her husband will be there.
No I’m saying work with her lawyer and courts to ban her husband
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Just now, Terabith said:
The problem with a restraining order is he has to be allowed to see his kids, and she’s trying to provide supervision. The other issue is that her entire support system and the people who are authorized to supervise visitation are his family.
It just isn’t practical, even if it’s needed.
Maybe she shouldn’t be the one providing supervision. If his family can be trusted work something out there.
Also as much as she’s involved in his family it may be time to start finding her own support network and start having some separation from his family.
This is a difficult situation and doesn’t seem to be trending in a good direction.
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If your young teen was at someone’s. . .
in The Chat Board
Posted
I’m sorry that this happened to you. If I knew the other parents well enough I’d be proactive explain/apologize for the incident. I’d also suggest that future get togethers be at a public location etc.