kchara
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Posts posted by kchara
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Have you told your mother what's appropriate and acceptable? If not, I'd let it slide, and have a talk with her. If you have talked to her and she's ignoring you... well, my mom did that with toys. When she called back and asked how DD liked them, I made no bones and no apologies about exactly why I had sent them to the Salvation Army. I warned her. She finally got the message that sending toys the kids were not allowed to play with simply wasted HER money and made HER look like the bad guy, not me (which is what she was aiming for).
'Course, now she only buys them junk from Dollar Tree... That doesn't even make it to SA, it goes in the trash. :glare:
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I think spanking is a straw man in a parenting discussion.
I know spanked kids who are delightful and spanked kids who are awful to be around. I know not-spanked kids who are delightful and not-spanked kids who are awful to be around.
My belief is that how kids turn out has more to do with the interplay of their personalities with their parents' personalities, and the types of things that occurred to stress the family as the child grows up, than it does with whether they were ever spanked. If parents are reasonably consistent, stable, and loving, chances are their kids will turn out fine whether they were spanked or not.
Spanking does not automatically create well-behaved kids, nor does it automatically create bitter, resentful kids. I think spanking is a far less powerful issue than people make it out to be.
Tara
:iagree::iagree: Couldn't have said it better myself. :)
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Absolutely. I know family members that are. From what I've seen (NOT necessarily true in ALL abuse situations, just from those I have personally observed), both parties usually are somewhat abusive in some way. Many times it's not overt, but it's still there.
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I'm the kind of person who would speak up.
"well if you feel that way, then you can eat alone."
"If you think she is such a bully, high maintenance forgetful waste of your money - then find some other girl. I'm sure she can find some other guy who isn't such an insulting a$$."
Really. I have a very short fuse for this.
And btw.
It wouldn't matter whether it was my dd or ds. It would drive me bonkers.
Dh would haul son aside and have a man to man discussion in short order.
:iagree: My brother tends to think he's being funny in saying insulting and IMO abusive things to his girlfriends, now his wife, along with my mother and I. He really thinks he's being funny and playful. Hes so not. I have NO qualms about calling him or any other man out when they're being like that. I would tell him all of the time what kind of a$$ he was being... till I blocked him on FB and blocked his phone for stepping over my personal boundery line one too many times.
It might be this guy really thinks he's being funny, and can't really understand why no one else thinks so. That's the way it is with my brother. His male role models were lacking. :glare: And the ones that were there pretty much stunk, and they treated their wives the same way he treats us. It's a learned behavior, and one he's got to get some therapy to work through. But, calling him out is usually a good first step. He might get mad at first, but I bet he thinks about it for a while.
If she chooses to stay with him, there's nothing really you can do.
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The Pearls are downright dangerous, IMO. I've never met a parent who uses TTUAC who does not love their child, and really believes they're doing what's best. The Pearls take that love and concern, and give you a formula for not only having well behaved children, but say that if you follow this, your children will be SAVED. And that's the big issue I have. The greatest fear of any Christian parent is that their child will reject Christ and be lost. The Pearls claim to have a formula to fix that. It's sick and twisted.
For this particular family, the Pearls advocate as discipline "spanking" a child until the child doesn't cry. If the child cries, she's still in rebellion, and the spankings must continue. From what I remember, that's what happened here. The little girl just kept crying. As to that that she was very dark skinned, with white parents, and the parents couldn't physically see the amount of damage they caused until it was entirely too late because they simply didn't know what to look for. I'm NOT EXCUSING these parents. What they did was inexcusable, BUT... they were following the Pearls' teachings to the letter. How Michael Pearl can say with a straight face he bears no responsibility in this is incomprehensible to me. He might not be held responsible in human courts, but I have no doubt God will deal with him accordingly.
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Thank you both for your responses!
Yes, she spends her time daydreaming. A lot. Pretty much all day, but math is definitely her worst time of it. I gave up for a while, made DH teach her, but he never did any lessons with her, so something had to break. The girl has to do her math!
Her handwriting is pretty good, when she applies herself. She's getting lazy about it, but she *can* write really well.
Right now, she only has 20 problems to complete a day. Just the problem set in her Saxon 54 book. We're not doing MUS right now, b/c I need to order the next level. It took her about 3 hours on one lesson today. DH assigned her two, because they were both review, and she should've known everything and been able to breeze through it.
She plays Math Rider and Timez Attack most days on the computer, for 1/2 an hour, at least.
She's had manipulatives to work with, the Math U See blocks. She went through regrouping with that, but apparently it didn't sink in.
I think a big problem is that she hates taking the time to actually *do* the work, so she tries to use tricks to work the problem. Except she doesn't use the tricks they teach her, b/c she says that still takes too long. So, she makes them up as she goes along, they make absolutely no sense, or they're the exact opposite of what she *should* be doing, and she gets it wrong.
For example, she'll have a problem like 43-28=? She'll put something to the effect of 25. When we ask her how she got there, she'll say, "Well, 8-3=5, and 4-2=2, so it must be 25." :banghead: Now, she *knows* that you can't do that, so what it boils down to is intellectual laziness.
And that's really where I'm stumped. DH took a look at LOF, and he said we might be able to use it as a supplement, and that she'd probably enjoy it better. But, he doesn't want to use it as our stand-alone. But, OTOH, how many programs do I get this kid who doesn't even seem to be *trying* before I just call it a discipline issue and work it that way? If she's not getting it, I understand (or I try to, anyway), but if it's literally the same concept we're going over day after day after day for months on end...
I'm very frustrated. Can you tell? ;)
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I need help with my 10 yo DD. Math is our major, MAJOR problem. She does Saxon (she also does MUS, but we need to order the next level, so she's doing just Saxon now). We have tried Rod and Staff, Teaching Textbooks, Ray's, and me finding worksheets and trying to just teach her myself. Nothing has worked, or is working. I'm so completely at my wit's end here! Today, she had to do double digit subtraction with regrouping. This is something she should know. We've been over and over and over it. Her father has been over and over and over it with her. But, she's still upstairs doing it (6 hours later...), hasn't done ANYTHING else all day, and I'm betting that when I grade it, it will be mostly wrong.
DH wants me to get her another computer based program. He thinks that having someone else "teach" her might help. But, it didn't help with TT, and with MUS, she watches the videos, and it doesn't really help with that, either.
I don't know what to do. The girl can't be allowed to *not* know math, you know? She doesn't even really try.
I'm thinking of moving into Life of Fred, maybe. Has anyone used the new elementary curriculum? It says on their placement questions to put her at the beginning if she doesn't have her addition and multiplication down cold. Start with Apples and don't skip a book. She has her addition down (I think, for the most part), but not multiplication. Definitely not division.
Am I missing another system that might work better? I just don't know what to do with her anymore. .
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I like The Bible Story by Arthur Maxwell for teaching basic Bible stories. My husband would read it to our kids at night, and he learned a LOT through it, but it's definitely written for children.
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With my son I don't try to "formally" do "memorization" but I do work on things here and there conversationally or for fun that I know he should memorize.
These are just things like full name, phone number, address, birthday, seasons, days of the week, the names of the months, 911, we sometimes do the Pledge, nursery rhymes, songs- that kind of thing.
We do this, too, although we're more intentional about nursery rhymes, especially if they have some historical context that they'll learn about later. At the moment, we're just working through Richard Scarry's Best Mother Goose Ever and learning one rhyme at a time.
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The school I went to my freshman year (HS) had computers, and I started learning on those. Then, my dad had a word processor at home, so I worked on that, too. For some reason, it was huge to me to be a quick typist. :D Don't remember why now.
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I have the Euroflex Monster steam mop, and I LOVE IT!! It gets super hot (266*), so it disinfects much more quickly and thoroughly than most of the others. It also has a carpet attachment, so I can get all of the mites and stuff that live in carpets, and kill them, too. It's absolutely AWESOME.
Mine came with 1 carpet pad and 2 hard floor pads. I need more, just b/c I keep tossing them in the laundry room and forgetting about them. :glare:
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We cosleep, but when they get to the point where they *need* a bed of their own, we use exclusively pack-n-plays, for that very reason. You don't need a bumper (the sides are soft, they're not going to bump their heads), and the sides are mesh, not bars, so they can't get anything stuck. It's worked well for 4 kids so far! :D
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My DD has the same problem. Sears carries "slims" in girls' sizes. Also, I think it's WalMart, has jeans that have little adjuster tabs on the inside of the waistband. Usually, it still doesn't go down far enough for her, but it does help somewhat.
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:hurray::party: Yea!!!
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Do you sign dh, you, then kids?
I do this. I don't sign Mr. and Mrs., unless it's to a child who is not a family member (children of friends, for example). Then I would.
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so, did the church school call the cops about the massive EMBEZZELMENT? (becasue that's what it was) or are they "forgiving - but disowning" her so she can move on and victimize unsuspecting others?
Did you call the cops about the thefts? (not returning things you've loaned them is jerky behavior, but legal. Have you given a date by which you want the items returned? taking things from your house without your knowledge or permission is theft.)
I'm not sure how to multi-quote, so I'll try to respond to everyone. :)
First, yes, the church had her charged. She got 6 months. She got out in May. Come to find out, it was her second embezzlement offense. We found that out much, much later. :glare: Jail time obviously doesn't phase this woman.
What we decided to do is go on with life with the doll. I'm going to contact a doll hospital about the thumbs (one was melted, not chewed, when I inspected it more fully), and DD will have to pay for that out of her money, since she left the doll in the first place.
For the other things, DH and I are getting a list together tonight of the things they have. We're going to send it to them, letting them know we'll be back up there in 2 weeks to pick everything up. If it's not returned, we'll be taking them to small claims court.
ereks mom: Our stuff was in our trailer. We own a trailer up there (a different state), and we had to move in a hurry, once DH found a new job. So we left quite a bit of stuff just up there in the trailer, since we already owned it. We've been going back and getting stuff out as we can.
I contacted the people who had the doll, this family we tried to be friends with and support. Yes, this is the treasurer's family, the one everyone ostracized.
My DD forgot the doll because it was late, after 11:00 pm when we left, and she was 9. I should've made sure she had it, but I didn't think to. We were just trying to get out of town at that moment.
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I use Sharpies. Alcohol takes care of getting it off. :)
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Unfortunately, they didn't break in. The lawnmower and the grill were outside, next to the house, being stored there. They just took them. Which is still stealing. We have to go back up there to finish getting everything in a couple of weeks, so we can turn the house over, and I'm giving them until then to give everything back. If I call the police, she goes back to jail. She's already on probation for the theft from the church. She just got released a couple of months ago. I'd hate to put her kids back through that.
I don't understand destroying a child's property, especially something as obviously loved as this was. DD had JUST gotten it, 2 days before we went up there. It was a gift from my mom, who she adores, but isn't stable, and doesn't give gifts on time, or at all lately. It was a big deal.
I'll check out the blog post, thank you!
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I drove from Indianapolis to Wyoming with my 3 at the time. They were 6, 5, and 2. It took us 3 days, because I made sure to not overdo it with them.
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So happy for you and your DD!!!
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I just need to vent, and I can't do it on FB, b/c it would cause massive drama. :glare:
A little backstory: We had a very, VERY small church where we used to live. The church started a church school, which pretty much alienated us when we made it abundantly clear that our children wouldn't be attending. Well, long story short, the treasurer was caught stealing a massive amount of money from the school. She seemed very repentant, and when the church pretty much abandoned her after her very public apologies, we felt that wasn't right, and tried to stand by the family. We were the ONLY people in town who would even speak to them. It bit us on the rear. Repeatedly. Obviously, these people are scam artists. We kept up some sort of relationship, b/c our kids were friends, and we knew we would be moving away soon anyway.
After we moved, we went up and had to get some of our stuff out of storage. DD had just gotten a new doll for Christmas, and wanted to show it to her friends. It ended up being left. That was in February. :glare: I called, I emailed, I texted, I FB messaged, offering to pay postage, do whatever it took to get the doll back. I was completely ignored.
DH had to go up this week and get more of our storage stuff. He had to camp out at their ever-lovin' door to get the stinkin' doll back! This lady had posted all over FB that she had a "gift" for our DD. Um, if it's OUR doll, it's not a gift! You're just returning what was ALREADY OURS! Keeping it would've been STEALING. Ugh. I was irritated, but let it go.
DH gets home tonight and gives DD her doll, which she's SO excited for. She was literally bouncing off the walls all day waiting for it. Get it in the light and these people had let their kids paint the finger and toenails red, they'd lost the socks and shoes, someone had CHEWED on one of the thumbs, and something sharp was taken to the other thumb, b/c there's a gash in it!!
It's an $80 doll!!! DD is collecting these!!!
Then, come to find out, they had gone over to our old house (which we still own, and are using for storage) and taken our grill and lawnmower. That's in addition to the other stuff of ours I had loaned to them and they still have (including a complete set of Hooked on Phonics and Hooked on Math that I could REALLY use right now, my 100 EZ Lessons book, and a few other things).
I am so ticked, and I feel SO taken advantage of. I'm hoping to be able to at least get the nail polish off the doll. She's darker skinned, Native American looking, and I'm afraid that using nail polish will discolor her, but I don't know what else to do.
I just keep reminding myself, what goes around comes around. :glare:
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I've heard people claim that drinking red raspberry leaf tea has helped them have shorter, easier labors. I drank it consistantly through my pregnancies with two pregnancies. With the first, the intense labor was short (I had been laboring all day, but didn't really feel it all that much, it was very mild. About 3 hours of "hard" labor, which still wasn't all that hard until transition) and really not so bad at all. With the second pregnancy, the baby was positioned badly, and nothing could've helped.
I need recommendations for good vitamins
in General Education Discussion Board
Posted
I take NOW Special Twos. I absolutely love them. I can really feel the difference between when I take them and when I don't. I linked to the NOW site, so you can see the ingredients and stuff, but I think the pricing is better on Amazon, and it's Prime eligible, if you're a member.