Jump to content

Menu
Giving You and Your Child a Road Map to the Best Possible Education
The Well-Trained Mind Community

Chelli

Members
 View Profile  See their activity

  • Posts

    4,256

  • Joined

  • Last visited

  • Days Won

    1

 Content Type 

Posts posted by Chelli

    Help Me Brainstorm Strategies to Help My Teen Girl Deal with Unwanted Male Attention

    in The Chat Board

    Posted

    I'm at a retreat this weekend so I'm popping in to address some questions.

    A few of you have mentioned location as being a factor, which I honestly had never considered. We are outside Houston in Texas  (a pp said Texas was especially bad for this kind of behavior).

    Someone else asked about other locations encounters like this have occurred: Wal-Mart, our local HEB (grocery store), parks, jogging in the neighborhood, etc. Pretty much if she's out and about with me running errands or going to extracurriculars, she is approached and/ or cat-called at least once. I can honestly see her weighing in her mind if it's worth dealing with it when we leave the house or if she would rather just stay home.

    • Sad 1

    Help Me Brainstorm Strategies to Help My Teen Girl Deal with Unwanted Male Attention

    in The Chat Board

    Posted

    This is super helpful guys!

    You are giving me lots of good things to talk to her about and work with her through role play.

    Unfortunately, other than the high school incident last week, all of her interactions have been with men in their 20's and 30's. In their defense, she does look like she could be in her 20's as well. In fact, people have thought she's her three year old cousin's and her eight year old brother's mom before. I thought about having her mention how old she is when older men are harassing her, but then I thought that might not be a wise idea for them to know her age. Thoughts?

    Also, as a pp mentioned earlier in this thread, my biggest problem with the entire thing is how she's going to have to change her personality when she's out and about in public. She's normally an extroverted, fun, out-going teen, and I feel awful that I'm going to coach her through how to hide those things when out in the general public.

     

    • Like 1

    Help Me Brainstorm Strategies to Help My Teen Girl Deal with Unwanted Male Attention

    in The Chat Board

    Posted

    You guys are making me feel better about how I've handled things so far. We talk about every encounter she has: what she could do better, what she did well, etc. I really think it's just the overwhelming amount of it. No matter where we are or who she is with (except for her dad) she has someone say something to her every time we leave the house. Every. Stinkin. Time. She's tried headphones and glaring and being rude. It works with that guy, usually, but then comes round two later that day. She never gets a break, ya know? I don't know if guys are more brazen or what, but I don't remember it being this bad when I was growing up. I feel really bad for her. It's almost like I can see her weighing everything in her mind: is it worth leaving home and knowing I'll have to deal with someone or is it better just to stay in and not? I hate that she is put in this position. 

    She's definitely assertive and has no problem calling guys out. My favorite was the time she was standing in front of a vending machine trying to decide what she wanted. She saw a guy standing behind her reflected in a window. As she was looking at his reflection, his hand started moving forward toward her butt like he was going to grab it or touch it. Without even turning around, she said, "So help me, if you lay one finger on my @ss, I'll knock you flat on yours." He was about four inches shorter than her and she said that he quickly put his arm down by his side, she grabbed her snack, and walked away without looking back.

    Just last week at the library's computer lab she had this encounter:
    Creeper (sitting next to my dd in the computer lab): I see you are playing Roblox.
    Dd (wearing headphones and trying to ignore him): Yep.
    Creeper: My name is Troy.
    Dd: Nice to meet you.
    Creeper: I didn't catch your name.
    Dd: I didn't throw it.
    Creeper: You're a feisty one.
    Dd (ignoring him)
    Creeper: Tell me something to watch on YouTube.
    Dd: I don't care.
    Creeper: It can be girly, crazy, or dirty.
    At this point Dd leaves and comes to find me.

    I guess I wanted something I could tell her other than, "Encounters like this are just what we have to endure as women, and you especially so." It seems like such a bleak outlook on the situation. I LOVE the idea about having her read up on feminist pioneers. She would love that.

    • Like 2
    • Sad 2

    Help Me Brainstorm Strategies to Help My Teen Girl Deal with Unwanted Male Attention

    in The Chat Board

    Posted

    Please bear with me as I share my heart and my daughter's heart. So the "problem" is that my oldest daughter is really beautiful (5'9", blonde, hour glass figure), as in people think she's a model. While that probably makes you think, "Oh, how sad. Poor her." with a heavy dose of sarcasm (trust me, before having a child that looks like her, I would have felt the same), I'm afraid it's going to cause her some problems. It already is to a point. She cannot go out anywhere without being cat-called, hit on, asked for her number, ogled etc. Sometimes it's harmless flirting, but most of the time it puts her in uncomfortable situations. 

    Just last night while wearing no makeup, sweats, a T-shirt, and glasses, she was leaving a local high school, where she's meeting with the choir teacher to prepare for an upcoming vocal performance, as the band was coming in off the practice field for the evening. She got to my car, jumped in shaking, and said, "Just drive." I find out that in her short twenty foot walk from the choir room to the outside door, she was asked for her number, cat-called, etc. She was afraid they wouldn't let her leave, but no one blocked the door. On the way home she said that when she can drive, maybe she should have a bad wreck so she'd have a scar on her face and people would leave her alone. She played it off like she was joking, and I know she's not to the point where she'd self harm, but I do worry that she's going to become a recluse or purposefully hide her figure because the barrage is unrelenting. I've explained to her that all women deal with this stuff to some degree, so it's not necessarily the way she looks causing this. However, I've never admitted this to her, she does get over and above the norm as far as this stuff goes. Even her friends have noticed and commented about it.

    We are definitely getting her some self-defense courses in case she finds herself in a physically threatening situation beyond the verbal stuff. So if you've read all of this, my question is how do I support her against the verbal stuff beyond encouraging her to try and ignore it? It's just never-ending and my poor, almost 15 year old is beginning to show signs of collapse (she's been getting comments since see was 12 when I had to explain what a certain sexual act was because a grown man yelled it at her). 

    • Sad 12

    "What can I use for homeschooling that is free and all online and requires no parent interaction and reads outloud becaus the child can't read"

    in The Chat Board

    Posted

    1 hour ago, unsinkable said:

    Three hours a day is how much classroom, academic instruction vocational education students do. Usually morning. 

    Afternoon is for the vocational part...automotive, electric, plumbing, beautician, health care, etc

     

    Yes, but still it's more than three hours total. I don't care what courses, academic, vocational, or a combination of both, your child is taking, but to honestly say that a child earned all credits necessary for their high school diploma when they are doing less daily work than my sixth grader and only an hour more than my second grader seems disingenuous at best and lying (about credit hours) at worst.

    • Like 7

    "What can I use for homeschooling that is free and all online and requires no parent interaction and reads outloud becaus the child can't read"

    in The Chat Board

    Posted

    Here's another one just posted today on Facebook:

    Good afternoon! I have a 10th grader and was wondering if y’all had any suggestions for cheap online curriculum that will only take around 3 hours a day to complete?

    ?

    To be fair there are two comments of people saying that three hours is not enough time for high school. They were immediately berated  and told that "it depended upon the child." ?

    • Like 1
    • Sad 4

    What, exactly, are future teachers learning in college?

    in High School and Self-Education Board

    Posted

    My AP Calculus teacher in high school was enrolled in calculus at the local university to complete her math certification. To teach high school math you had to have a math degree, but she didn't. The school needed a high school math teacher though, so she was bumped up from middle school to high school. 

    Needless to say she had no clue how to teach AP Calculus. One of the guys in our class was naturally good at math, so he'd go home every night and study the textbook to learn the material. The next day at school, during lunch, he'd explain it to me, and then in our class after lunch, I'd teach the AP Calculus class (he understood the math, but couldn't explain it) while our teacher sat at her desk and took notes to help with her college class. ? At the time I thought it was kind of cool and fun, but looking back on it, it's shocking and sad.

    • Sad 4

    "What can I use for homeschooling that is free and all online and requires no parent interaction and reads outloud becaus the child can't read"

    in The Chat Board

    Posted

    1 minute ago, Tibbie Dunbar said:

     

    Did anyone answer her? 

    Oh yes! 

    Around 100 responses with about 90% of them agreeing with the original poster and complaining about cost. About 10% of the responses are from those of us who teach homeschoolers in some capacity trying to point out that what she's asking for isn't fair.

     

    • Like 1
    • Sad 8

    "What can I use for homeschooling that is free and all online and requires no parent interaction and reads outloud becaus the child can't read"

    in The Chat Board

    Posted

    So tonight in a Facebook group I'm in, one mom finally called it like it is.

    She was complaining that online and in person classes for homeschoolers are so expensive, and do those of us who provide that service not understand that homeschoolers only live on one income and thus cannot afford these awesome opportunities for our children.

    A woman in the comments called it "elitist type junk." 

    IOW, since we chose to homeschool, you should give us all of your hard work prepping for the class along with all grading responsibilities to us for free. So despite the fact that I've spent all summer prepping for an online literature and writing class I'm teaching this year (for only $30 a month!), which includes deep literature discussions and graded writing assignments with personalized suggestions to improve their writing, I should offer all of this for free because I should be understanding of the financial constraints of other homeschoolers and not be elitist. ?

    Don't get me wrong. I wanted to enroll my oldest in an online class this year, but could not raise the funds to do so. However, I don't begrudge the teacher for that circumstance. She deserves to get paid.

    • Like 8
    • Confused 11
    • Sad 1

    "What can I use for homeschooling that is free and all online and requires no parent interaction and reads outloud becaus the child can't read"

    in The Chat Board

    Posted

    9 minutes ago, Murphy101 said:

     

    Another time, a gal was stunned, STUNNED, when she heard how I teach writing.  I'm literally sitting over them for about 20-30 minutes a day. She couldn't believe it.  But with other subjects and so many kids that means I spend several hours every day sitting with them going over work? Yes.  Really, I'm schooling 6 kids currently, ages 7-17, so why would 2-4 hours a day on their education seem shocking? That's just bizarre to me to expect less than that.  There's making sure the work is done, corrected, discusses, guidance on how to do it properly, research for problem areas ... that takes time and frankly, I'm kinda feeling rather kick ass to get the majority of it done in <4 hours. Then some newbie or not so newbie who comes to me often because they are struggling and the Pollyanna bs doesn't seem to be panning out as advertised and thinks I'm just some crazy over achiever. Just... What?

     

    I gave  a talk about teaching writing in your homeschool at a small homeschool conference earlier this year. When I was doing the high school session, I made it a point to mention  that your high schooler will need you to be a participant in the writing process even at that level. I explained that even if all you did was be a sounding board for thesis statements or brainstorming ideas or helping to edit, writing is not a solitary endeavor. I had one mom visibly shaking her head in the back and saying, "I can't commit to that." At which point I said, "Then find an online class or a co-op that teaches writing because that's what your child needs to become a strong writer." 

    ?

    • Like 15

    "What can I use for homeschooling that is free and all online and requires no parent interaction and reads outloud becaus the child can't read"

    in The Chat Board

    Posted

    I agree with the OP and others that I've seen this disturbing trend gain momentum in homeschooling groups and circles. In fact just a couple of weeks ago on my Instagram (it's tied  to my blog so lots of homeschool stuff on there) I took a picture of my first grader working on making tens using manipulatives with his Math in Focus workbook. I had a mom ask me what program it was, and I told her. Then she asked if it was teacher intensive. I told her that its first grade math, so, yes, I teach the lesson and then stay with him as he completes his worksheets to make sure he doesn't have trouble, which takes us about 20 minutes. She then asked me if I knew any math curriculums for first grade that the child could do on their own. I told her that in early elementary kids really needed some direct instruction and oversight to make sure they understand. She told me she couldn't do that and a homeschool friend of hers had told her about Teaching Textbooks, so she was trying to find something like that to teach her kid until they could start TT. At that point I didn't respond, because I didn't know what to say other than, maybe you shouldn't homeschool.

    • Like 14
    • Sad 2

    Morning Time Plans

    in K-8 Curriculum Board

    Posted

    16 hours ago, Another Lynn said:

    Is it A Gentle Feast that offers morning time plans coordinated with their other lesson plans?

     

    Yes, they do. Although you could easily use just their morning time plans without the rest of the curriculum as well.

    • Like 1
×
×
  • Create New...