Amen to the sanity thing! And thanks! :iagree:

I just wanted to express my shock when I learned that my 4yo ds can divide 60 in half quicker than I could!!! It is just so amazing what these little guys can do! I am genuinely proud of ds on a daily basis, but quite literally shocked about every other week or so by things like this. He was also able to divide 4, 20 and 100 in half! Seems like a simple concept, but I remember not understanding the purpose behind division when I was learning it in the 3rd grade. How about you all? Thanks for letting me express some pride...:001_smile:

You're right, Stephanie. You can't spoil a baby, but you totally give too much to a toddler!!! Maybe I lack the experience to know how much is too much to give. I try to provide what I think all my little ones need, but I do feel that with my ds, he might need more, as he is so advanced and thrives on stimulation. If he isn't stimulated, he finds his own ways to occupy himself, and most of those ideas are mischievous. My husband and I compare ds to our Border Collie. They are freakishly similar in that they always need something to do. If they don't find an activity, they fill their own boredom with something less productive and/or positive. I once had a border collie that chewed a hole in my drywall because she was bored. My ds is very much the same way. He will drive his little sister into blood-curdling screams to stimulate himself, by taking toys from her or dancing around her chanting something intentionally irritating. I just don't know where he gets these ideas! I really just want peace in my home, but maybe this is just how all kids grow up. Any thoughts?

Believe it or not, my ds still naps and goes down when everybody else does! I knew very early in my parenting that I was going to MAKE SURE my kids napped at the same time and push napping for as long as my kids will take them...and then some! Yes, ds at 4yo still naps and most of the time without a fight. It's just what we all do everyday at 1pm. I have even gone to the trouble of planning other activities around naps! Oh, they are so important to me! But even with the quite time for me in the middle of the day, ds is the last to go down for nap and the first to pop up and start chasing me again for attention. I totally feel hunted! He will play on the computer independently but his use is limited to a few websites that we have "okay-ed" and he likes to use google maps. When those things get boring, he is right back at me wanting something to stimulate him. Yes, I should totally have him help me if he wants to be with me. I love the ideas about having him help me. And when he gets tired of helping, maybe he'll want some space on his own. :001_smile:One can only hope! I do love him so dearly!!! He is such a gift! He's just a lot of work and I am not good at balancing him and my other two girls. There are diapers to change and meals to make, babies to feed and dishes to clean (among many other things left uncleaned for too long as it is)...but ds doesn't care about what I have to get to and is extremely persistent with his requests for my attention! You would think that after being put off a couple times, he would stop asking or maybe not as frequently. But he always comes right back. Thanks for your responses. Sometimes I think that there can't be any other child like my ds, or any other mother battling their children with the little energy they have left...but deep down I know we all do. It's just nice to hear it sometimes, that other people go through these things. Seriously, thanks guys!

My son (4yo) does read, and he reads very well! We also have enough books I think to keep him plenty occupied, we even get things from the library. I have just not been consistent in setting aside reading time to develop a habit of reading for him. He does like to read, but also seems to need somebody to receive the story or information other than himself when he reads. Maybe we should work on quiet time and silent reading each day. But man, enforcing these things and being consistent when there's babies and other kids is soooo tough! Yesterday we checked out a book about germs at the library because ds was recently sick and wanted to know what the "buggies" in his body looked like. However, upon getting the book home, he demanded that I sit with him and go through it! And he is bored by the books in the kids section on these things, so we always have to get an adult book, a lot more in depth and a little over ds's head. He will then want me next to him to answer questions he has when he gets stumped by something in the adult book. Yep, can you say frustrating? I no more feel like I have done a good job providing for his needs by getting him to library and finding something stimulating....and then he still needs me! Yikes! And the times I have devoted to schoolwork (when it's not summertime), he is still after me for attention later in the day. I think it's probably time to get out a big chart and start filling in the spaces of time in the day with activities that he can do with and without me! I'm just afraid I won't stick to it. :001_huh: But better than not trying! Thanks you guys! I was lol-ing with the T-shirt comment!

I battle this issue on a daily basis! My ds is in CONSTANT need of my attention, as I am sure a lot of you experience. But I also have two younger ones to care for besides him...and I can tell he wishes he was an only child much of the time. What do you all do to balance this need for your children? On the one hand, I feel like I should be providing the attention ds "needs", but I honestly don't know how much of it he needs and how much he can handle getting through things alone. As you know, our children are usually pretty emotionally intense, and I feel like in telling my ds to find something to do independently that he feels let down. I don't want to disappoint him but he also needs some boundaries with my time. I am also afraid that if I set aside a certain time every day to spend with him one-on-one (other than homeschooling), that I won't be able to stick to it with the other kids having needs, etc. I also find that no matter how much I give my attention, ds always needs more! He is super insatiable...what do I do? Thanks.

Hilarious!!! That WOULD be funny to see the look on someone's face! :lol: You're right. I am being way too sensitive about it. :iagree: It's actually kinda rude that others think they are "helping" you by pointing out what you're doing "wrong". Shows nothing much but ignorance. I really am not that concerned that ds will be early in his grade levels. What are we expected to do? Hold them back? That wouldn't be fair, right? There is a reason God gave them these gifts. Why wouldn't we encourage their use? Silly spectators! Thanks for your support! :001_smile:

I have this SAME problem with my family, except that my kids are still little enough to train well...but daddy is not a good example! I read somewhere that continually telling them to clean up after themselves will train their brains to depend on your cues. A chore chart would take your reminding them out of the equation...but then you usually have to instigate starting the chores on the chart. Vicious cycle! I do LOVE the idea of letting the natural consequence motivate the change. If there isn't anything clean to wear, that could get yucky and stinky...one would have to put something in the hamper after a while. It would take some time until ALL the clean clothes were offensively stinky...but it would be worth the wait! I think I will try that with my dh, and continue training the little ones to form good habits. It is harder as they get older, but I don't think it's true that you can't train an old dog to do new tricks. Those who think so just lack confidence and determination. :D My dh at 28 when he met me took on almost a whole new life as a result of us being together. Anything is possible! Consistency and a firm resolve is the key! If you don't believe it is possible, then it probably isn't. Good luck!

My feeling is that this is really normal for younger gifted children. I have limited experience with mine, mom of a 4yo ds too who taught himself letters and sounds at 2yo...but I don't think that what you're describing is unlike a gifted preschooler or even k level. These little guys have such big emotions and have little experience how to manage and express them. I have to remind myself that every time my little ds instantly flips out at the way I have decided to do something. It's not the way he would have done it, and is therefore wrong. He has perfectionist behaviors as well, but I wouldn't consider them OCD, just as I wouldn't say that about yours. They are just frustrated, sometimes angry about the thing in their head not being the reality in front of them and it hurts for them. It is uncomfortable and can be emotionally painful for them to accept. Again, they have little experience managing such big emotions and seeing the proper perspective in the expectations they have for themselves. I think this is something that gets better with time and experience. It's not that your ds will grow out of it, but that he will come to learn better coping skills in managing his big emotions and expectations. Also, I agree with the salvation approach, if faith is part of your family life. Very well put!!! We do all need a Savior! I also agree that introducing other challenges and holding off on writing might be the best idea for now. I actually did this with my ds, and when he was ready for writing, he came back to it on his own. He doesn't love it now, but he is much more willing and a lot less discouraged! He now realizes that he is able to write, where before he couldn't succeed no matter how much practice...motor skills weren't there and he just wasn't ready. Hang in there.;) I know it's hard...

I am told over and over again that my ds (4yo) needs some kind of building system to express his logical side and play when he's bored. I would really love to get him a system that is challenging but don't know of any. Recommendations? Not for age group, but to actually challenge him? Maybe something for an 8-10yo? Thanks so much!

I don't have older kids yet, but my experience with teaching and watching children learn is to not hold them back over the societal norm. Again, advanced children will realize quickly that you are just trying to keep them "busy" and if your ds excels in math, maybe he's going to need to use that someday soon for the next scientific discovery or something super cool! Why make him wait to reach his contributional capacity in the world over age? Also, you might find that even though he has blown through all the elementary math, he might need to take more time with the more abstract concepts. I think that when I do get there with mine, I will proceed forward with whatever level they are capable of. There must be some reason they were created with such gifts! Use them! :)

MATH: I have found that Modern Curriculum Press (MCP) Math workbooks offer a more visual learning program than Saxon. Saxon IS hard, and it's harder for the younger grades. I would suggest waiting until about the 5th grade for Saxon. By then, the "training" that Saxon offers will better prepare your child for high school and even college, but not necessary now. SCIENCE AND HISTORY: My DS is 4 also...we stagger Science and History throughout the week. We spend about an hour on his work per day and always do grammar, math and reading. Science, History and Geography get visited twice a week each or so. The elementary curricula for these subjects at this level are not very deep or detailed. You won't be missing much if you don't spend a lot of time on it. This has been our experience so far. :D

All of you have been sooo helpful...thank you! What do you all say when people question about your children being ready to graduate high school and go into college at 12 years old? My DS began reading at 2 years old, is now 4 and is reading at a 4th grade level, is capable of 3rd grade math and some additional higher math concepts, his love is geography and knows ALL the countries in the world, the states and their capitols. People are always asking me if I am "worried" about DS being ready for college at 12 or 13 years old. They ask me as if I'm the one driving him to advance and think that I should have a "plan" regarding his achievement level. Somebody mentioned something in the previous thread about being careful not to give gifted children "extra" work for finishing their assigned work early. How do you fill in then for your gifted children so that they are not graduating high school at 12??? And what are your responses when people "warn" you about your overly-advanced child, like it's a problem??? I know, so many questions...should they be separate threads? :tongue_smilie: Thanks again in advance!

Yeah, I feel like I have tried everything, including spanking, but my ds would much rather have the control to make his own decisions than to give in to much over a simple consequence. I used to be a behavioral therapist for children with autism and the first thing I learned about behavior is to figure out what is "worth it" to the kid that they'd be willing to give up their own way for it. With the therapy kids, we used to term it "what would they work for?", and this described anything from rewards to playtime, from blowing bubbles to having the therapist leave them alone for a while. Well, with my deep training background, I thought I would have this motherhood thing licked good by the time I got here! Ha! What was I thinking? The difference between being a therapist and being a mother is that as a mother you are with the kids ALL the time, and you love them unconditionally! Because our children learn this about us so very early in their little lives, it empowers them to feel they can get away with almost anything. I used to think the therapy kids were stubborn. Again, ha! My little button-pushers are relentless!!! Although all your ideas and thoughts are helping, I was also wondering if anyone could tell me what the consequence and discipline parts are supposed to mean? I know that for every family these are different. Some families decide to consistently time-out their kids, some decide never to spank, and still some go for taking away desired items or fun time. I have sincerely tried all kinds of things, and have been as consistent as I can be while I am trying one thing or another at a time...but honestly don't know what parents do to enforce their commands, and "train" the obedience into the children. I do love the idea about trading roles and seeing if your child likes being you when disobedience is underway! I tried it, really fun and enlightening for my ds. I don't think he ever thought of things that way! Brilliant! Any successful disciplinary experiences? Thanks again, ladies!

Do you have an "explosive" child? Do you have cooperation now? How long did it take, or how old is your child now? Thanks for the tip!