lovinmyboys
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Posts posted by lovinmyboys
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My ds14 has always been a little chunky, but in the last two years he has put on quite a bit of weight. My other kids are all pretty thin. I want to help him without singling him out. I really haven’t done anything the last few years because I don’t want to cause more issues.
Part of the problem is that I don’t think he is less active or that he eats worse than my other kids. I think he has different genetics even though he has the same parents (and I am also hoping he is about to hit a growth spurt).
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I am looking forward to moving to Poland in the late summer. I need something to look forward to that is happening sooner because I am just all out of sorts.
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We have been lucky to stay mostly out of debt. However, we need to take out some sort of loan. We plan to move overseas this summer and will be selling our house, but we have a few expenses we can’t swing right now. Assuming the market stays the way it is, we should make decent money on our house sale and will be able to pay this off in about 4 months. Where should we look? I know I can search this on my own, but it is getting overwhelming and you all have such good advice.
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I agree he is going to probably have to redo his resume for each job. When my Dh looks for jobs, he spends hours redoing his resume for the specific job he is applying to. It can feel like a waste of time, but I think he will have a better chance if he does that.
Who you know is still helpful. He needs to figure out a way to make a connection with people in the field. Lots of law enforcement agencies will have a recruiter he could contact.
Some of my friends have worked in social work prior to going into law enforcement and I think that is a great stepping stone. At least around here, they are desperate for social workers and you don’t have to have a social work degree.
One entry level job I think looks interesting is an Investigative specialist position with the FBI. He would have to be willing to move, but it looks like it would be a good experience. I know that they usually recruit for a window of time, so he would have to speak to someone at his local office to find out when they are taking applications.
ETA: I just got on Twitter and it looks like Nebraska state patrol is recruiting pretty heavily right now. Maybe his state is too.
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19 minutes ago, hjffkj said:
No ignorance isn't a defence in traffic court.
But lack of proper signage can be. How far back is the previous speed limit sign. I wouldn't say that no sign for a mile is unreasonable.
It probably isn’t unreasonable, but I had just turned onto that road about 1 mile before I was pulled over. So the officer acted liked I just wasn’t paying attention when I said I didn’t see a sign. When I went back to drive it to see if I missed one, there was no sign on my route.
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13 minutes ago, TechWife said:
Between fines, court costs and increased auto insurance rates we figured out that it is much less expensive to pay an attorney to handle traffic tickets. They usually have a flat fee for speeding tickets.
I don’t know that the speed limit not being posted will really help you. In the state where I live there are, by law, default speed limits for when there isn’t one posted. They are: 35 inside city limits; 55 outside city limits; and 70 on a highway. All drivers are expected to know them and follow them. Your state may have something similar.
I don’t know that the state has anything similar, but by this, 55 would have been the speed limit there. I am really surprised it is only 45. And yes I was still going over 55, but it was at the bottom of a hill. I didn’t really mean to be going 60.
Maybe I won’t fight it since I was still speeding.
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I’m trying to decide if I should just pay it, or go to court. I have never been in a courtroom before, so don’t know what to expect.
I was pulled over for going 60 in a 45. It is on a road I rarely travel on and I didn’t know the speed limit. I was driving with a group of cars and was going the same speed as them.
I told the officer that I didn’t know the speed limit and it wasn’t marked, so I was just driving what everyone else was driving. He said just because everyone else was speeding, it doesn’t make it right for me to speed. He said he drives that road every day and goes 45 and people pass him.
I thought I had just missed the speed limit sign, so I went back and drove my route and it isn’t marked at all. This road is a 4 lane road with not much on it. It later turns into a fairly busy city street and the speed limit there is 45. Since this was a more rural area of the road, I thought (but did not know) the speed limit was 55.
I told some people that I got my first ever ticket there and they said it is a well known speed trap. I guess I would like to point out to someone in the city that you really shouldn’t have a speed trap somewhere that doesn’t have a marked speed limit sign in the mile before the trap.
Anyway, I was going 15 over. Should I just pay the ticket, or is ignorance a defense in traffic court? I don’t think I am thinking clearly about this because I am just so irritated. I haven’t even been pulled over in over 20 years and I thought the officer was just so rude. But, maybe they are supposed to be rude to speeders?
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I went back to work in January of 2021. My kids were in 3, 5, 6, and 9th grade. It has mostly been ok, but it has been hard too. The last couple of months have been harder than the first year. I really wish I could have kept homeschooling the younger kids (probably still would have sent my 9th grader). But, we have four kids- 3 in orthodontics, one in vision therapy, one had an ER trip this summer, and I had surgery-so having the second income has been valuable. The job was really an opportunity I couldn’t pass up after over a decade as a SAHM. So, I guess, there are pros and cons to both, and I think you and your kids will be just fine either way.
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Haha I didn’t know what to title this. I got into a “discussion” with my parents today and probably changed our relationship forever. I basically told them (really simplifying) that Trump and American Christianity’s response to him has made me stop taking my children to church.
Then my dad said I must have made liberal friends and I just want to be cool for them. It just really aggravated me because he has no idea what it is like to not support Trump and homeschool. (Again all simplified conversation).
I hope this isn’t too political. I am just feeling really lonely-which I have for a few years. I don’t really have any friends locally and my family, who also isn’t local, is a very strained relationship. We are moving overseas in a few months, so I really don’t care, but I still sorta do. I just feel like I fit nowhere- a Christian who thinks bad behavior is wrong even if Trump does it.
It is more than loneliness though. I feel like I have no community and no direction for raising my kids. It seems like everything I was taught was all lies and now in middle age I have to figure it all out alone (and with Dh I guess).
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I love Mormon missionaries! I wish I was brave enough to interact with them more, but I have no plans of converting and don’t want to lead them on. One of my best friends is Mormon so when I lived near her I got to know her missionaries and tried to help them get settled in so far from home.
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Ok I feel better. I guess it makes sense that if he doesn’t feel well he would have less energy. He just typically isn’t one to sit still. Maybe he is just maturing and now that he has finally learned to sit still, I think something is wrong with him, lol.
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1 minute ago, Terabith said:
Being sick for that long isn't normal, and the folks in our household pick up crud frequently. I would definitely take him to the doctor, and I'd want a CBC.
I always think of us as being healthy, but I am trying to think back to when my older kids were 9. I don’t think they were picking up a bunch of crud. Ds9 is in school for the first time this year and my older kids were homeschooled at this age, so maybe he is just picking up more stuff.
I think what worries me is that he just seems to not have energy. Dh isn’t worried and he just says he is sick that is how sick people act. But it isn’t like he is super sick- more like he just doesn’t feel well.
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4 minutes ago, MercyA said:
You've had him tested for COVID, right?
Yes, twice. My oldest had covid at the beginning of January. Ds9 had covid about a year ago and seemed to fully recover. It was a full year after covid that he started acting this way.
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Ds9 has been sick off and on since Christmas. Is this just normal and I am forgetting? I have been a little worried about him because he just seems off. Today on the way to school he asked why he has been sick so much lately, so I think he is noticing too. It isn’t super sick-mostly stomach, sore throat, headache and lack of energy. Some portions of the day he seems fine and then others he kinda just lays around. This is a definite change.
Any ideas of what I should look for? I can take him to the pediatrician, but I don’t really know what to ask. My kids have always been generally healthy. The one time we had a medical mystery, it stayed a mystery and then went away on its own.
I know it is cold/flu season, so maybe he is just picking up a bunch of random stuff. It is the lack of energy that is mostly worrying me. Usually even when he is sick he is pretty energetic.
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I am pretty surprised you have to wait so long. I had a mammogram in October and they called me the next day to come in that day for a u/s and biopsy. I can’t imagine how anxious I would be if I had to wait several weeks. Mine turned out fine-I had a 3cm benign mass surgically removed a few weeks later and that was the end.
I think it is very common to be called back and hopefully the reason you aren’t scheduled sooner is because they aren’t too terribly worried about it. When I had my scare, so many women told me about being called back for extra testing after a mammogram. It seemed like everyone I told had at least one scare.
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Thanks everyone! It is always interesting to see how other families work.
Dh and I have very different parenting instincts and I know he feels like I get “my way” a lot. I was a SAHM/homeschooling mom for 15 years so I was the one with the kids most of the time. Dh has also spent long stretches away for work. Since covid though he has been home a lot more.
Dh actually went to counseling to help him deal better with one of our kids. The counselor wanted us to come together and compromise, but we just think so differently. I probably parent similarly to Julie Bogart and I think that style drives him nuts-he is more do as I say, keep everything in order, work before you play, etc. I think if he were around more to help enforce this order, I would be more willing to compromise. But it isn’t my style and I still do the majority of the parenting-and I think the kids are turning out perfectly fine.
I am a big believer in the person doing the work should decide how it is done. I think Dh doesn’t think that is fair because just because he is at work doesn’t mean he shouldn’t get a say in how the kids are raised.
I mostly think it is almost moot because we have been doing things my way the whole time and the kids are now 10-15 so practically raised.
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I work full time and my kids all go to school. Dh made this rule that they have to have homework done before they can go play outside. I think he thinks that is something good parents do. I think it makes no sense because 1) it still gets dark before 6pm and 2) some of my kids need help with homework and I don’t get home from work until about an hour after they get home from school. So today Dh is not happy because one of them (who needs help with homework) was outside playing when Dh got home and his homework wasn’t done. I am very tired today so I was like yeah I am not going to enforce rules I don’t agree with.
So any thoughts? Do you enforce rules you don’t agree with? Also are you a work before play family? Honestly, I typically don’t make rules I can’t enforce unless I think it is really important and have buy in from the kids.
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https://www.averiecooks.com/15-minute-sheet-pan-beef-broccoli/
We eat this pretty regularly.
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I haven’t read all the replies, but I am really surprised at the number of people who think this is weird or wouldn’t allow it. My kids(all boys) have 18 cousins and my older two are some of the older cousins. In general, it seems the older cousins love to play with the cousins age 3-8. They are cute and fun at that age and past the baby stage. Once they hit 9 or so, the teens are much less likely to want to hang with them. The 14yr olds in general would rather play with the 7yr old cousins than the 11yr old cousins.
When I was that age I loved little kids and probably would have babysat for free. I loved doing crafts and making up games. When my kids were young we had a very cool middle school neighbor that would often come over and teach them tricks on the trampoline. It never occurred to me that would be weird.
I know there are a lot of family dynamics in play in this particular situation. It is hard for me to know what I would do. We have some weird family stuff too, so we are moving across the ocean, lol. I don’t think that is an option for OP.
Mostly I was just jumping in to say that I think it can be very normal for young teens of both sexes to enjoy playing with their younger cousins.
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The wind. A cold front is really blowing in
My bath water draining
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Red Sled by Lita Judge
cows in the kitchen
Goodnight Gorilla
karen Katz books
Usbore “That’s not my…” books
Good Dog Carl
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I have been feeling similar and I think it is a combo of turning 40 and my youngest turning 10 (definitely out of little kid stage 😢). I’m going to come back to read all the great replies, but wanted to chime in with two books that I really loved- 4000 Weeks: Time Management for Mortals and No Cure for Being Human. They aren’t exactly mid-life books, but they helped me with some of my thinking about life. I read them both very recently and am already thinking of re-reading them slower and taking notes.
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We are moving to Poland, so we will travel there. I would really like to go visit some friends and family before then, but I just don’t know if it will work out.
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Congolese immigrant executed during traffic stop
in The Chat Board
Posted
There is almost no reason a traffic stop should turn deadly. Ok he ran away- go arrest him later. I’m sure the cop will be able to keep his job because Lyoya grabbed for his taser. I am almost 100% sure that the cop was within the deadly force policy. However, the cop should have never let it get to that point.
I have heard that he didn’t speak English well, but I don’t know that it has been confirmed. I worry (just a little bit) about one of my sons because he has pretty slow processing speed. He is white, speaks English perfectly fine, and has at least an average IQ, but I still would be worried if he were in a stressful situation with a cop yelling directions at him. I’m not convinced that he would be able to follow them in a timely manner. He is still young, so has time to work on it. But I for sure see it when he plays sports and a coach yells for him to do something. It absolutely takes him longer than his teammates and sometimes if a coach says “don’t” do something he hears the instruction without the “don’t” and does the opposite of what he is supposed to do. I’m sure there are plenty of people like my son who interact with cops and I hope they are being trained to deal with it.