justasque
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Posts posted by justasque
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I've rather enjoyed the travel involved with having kids away at school (or other activities, like summer on-campus programs). I've had them at schools anywhere from a 30-minute drive to the opposite coast. Since I am the SAHM, and breaks often come at odd times when dh can't always take off of work, I've done a lot of college move-in/move-out trips, along with picking up and delivering back for various breaks. I get to eat out in a new town, look in a shop or two, and enjoy the drive along the way. I do think it's a bit easier with boys, as they are less likely to need seven pairs of shoes to come home with them over winter break. I am currently learning that having a complete set of bedding at home and at school is easier than toting the duvet and favorite pillows back and forth for every break.
One thing we've done is to identify a family member who lives relatively close to the school - within a two-hour drive - and make sure the student has the family member's contact info and address (and, in one case, a passport to hop across the border), as well as giving the family member the student's info. We've never needed to use it, but it has been comforting to me to know that if the student has a medical emergency the family member can get there before I would be able to, and if the school has a crisis of some sort, the student may be able to bunk in with the family member until the crisis has passed. (In one case involving air travel, the family member helped the young student move in to the college, which made the logistics much, much easier.)
Health insurance has never been an issue for us. We have identified a local pharmacy that takes our insurance, so that the student knows where to go if needed.
Voting absentee has been hit or miss, mostly because the forms can be cryptic, but you can bet we'll have it down pat before November 2018.
Car insurance is no problem at all. The insurance goes with the car, not the driver, and since we own the car, it doesn't really matter where it is. (If the student didn't take a car with them, we made sure the insurance company knew the student was away at school, which did lower the rate ever so slightly for the duration.)
We do need to be proactive about scheduling dentist appointments and the like during breaks, but that would be true regardless of where the student was attending school (unless they were living at home). Those appointments fill up early, so I make sure I have the school's schedule on my calendar and I try to book as far ahead as possible.
I've rather enjoyed my campus-bound road trips, and now that I've got more time, I've been taking non-college road trips by myself to visit friends and do interesting activities. I feel comfortable doing it alone because I've had so much experience with doing the college runs.-
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What comes to my mind:
Mood
Spandex World
Spandex House
Emmaonesock
Bra Makers Supply
None of which are good for John Jon fabric, except maybe Mood. -
Ok ladies, I asked and you answered. Point well taken. Thankfully around here, using only Facebook as a communication platform is not the norm so I really do not have to deal with this anywhere else. I will do what I can to stay in the loop because it's important for my son. But if I can make one last point, it's that I encourage you all to find a way to respect other people's media choices. Just because we're non Facebook users does not mean we're trolls sitting and waiting for information to be dumped in our laps by poor, overworked volunteers. It's not unreasonable to ask that 2 forms of communication be used-and I consider that good leadership. Signing off-
OK, but here's the thing. When I volunteer to lead something, and no one else step up to help, part of the deal is that you get *me* as a leader - the good and the bad, for better or for worse. And while I bend over backwards to provide Good Leadership, sometimes my other responsibilities (family, paid work) take precedence. And sometimes I'm sick or overwhelmed or otherwise not on my A Game. In which case, you get Not-Perfect-Leadership. Because that's all I've got to offer at that time. And if that's not good enough, then my group/activity is not the right group/activity for you. You'd be better off with an activity that is run by a professional, paid, leader, who has the education and experience to have landed the job. Me, I'm a volunteer, and if what I have to offer - imperfect leadership, at minimal cost to you, delivered with a smile (if a sometimes overwhelmed one) - is not what you're looking for, then my activity is not a good fit for you and your family. And that's OK.
Good Leadership is worth paying for. Don't expect perfection from an unpaid volunteer.
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Did the school do any sort of diagnostic testing? Did they flag him for intervention in any way? Or did they just stick him in a class and let him sink or swim?
Have you had him tested by someone who is an expert in such things? Can you, yourself, do a basic overview analysis to determine what he knows well and what he does not, both in terms of algorithms and in terms of conceptual stuff? (If not, that's ok, that's what experts are for.)
Mom+textbook hasn't worked. School teacher + textbook hasn't worked. You need an expert to get in there and see what the barriers are and develop a plan to address them.
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The other issue with the "two methods" approach is that you need to make sure they are completely in sync. Redundancy only works if you can rely completely on one of the two methods. That means every single time you update one, you have to update the other. Unless it is automated (like you have an app that tweets the link whenever you post to FB or Insta), then there is a certain amount of overhead involved to make this happen. Like a PP said, formatting can be different, and it's not always a simple copy/paste. You also then need to keep up two different lists of current contact info - adding people to the FB group and adding their email address to your email list, for example.
Many homeschoolers who have had children do activities at the local public school have found that there will be times that important info is given in ways they are not privvy to - homeroom announcements and such. My friends in this position don't like it, obviously, but they go in understanding that they are outside of normal communication channels and accept that there will be times when they will miss a message because of it. They are extra-vigilant about important events and unusual circumstances (snow days, etc.), and double-check with the appropriate person on critical things. And when (not if, because it's bound to happen) they miss something, they are annoyed of course, but they quickly let it go, knowing that they are still getting a lot out of the program.OP, I do respect your desire to avoid FB. Why not just make a point of being in contact with your friend in the group, and get your updates that way? And accept that there will be times when you will be out of the loop, and just let it roll off your back when that happens. It would be setting a good example for your children, too. Or, if you are someone who really needs every detail to be perfect when participating in an activity (and that's ok), perhaps you need to avoid this kind of volunteer-run, grass-roots activity, and seek out more formal kinds of things for your children to do, such as those at for-profit organizations who employ paid workers to get the details right.
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You know, when I was hsing, I tried to make sure I wasn't a difficult-to-deal-with parent. I wanted my kids included whenever possible. I wanted them to have access to the full range of cool things that parents were organizing. And having organized a vast number of activities over the years, I have to say, some of them simply weren't advertised to, or open to, the families who took a lot more work to deal with. If you need a million reminders, if you want special communications, if you say you're coming but you don't show up, if you say you will take on a task or lead an activity and you don't, if you tell me to buy your tickets but you never pay me back, if you take the time to complain when things aren't perfect but never take on a task to help - you're not going to be the first one I consider inviting when I create the next super-cool activity.
OP, if your kid likes this activity, figure out a way to make it work. Maybe that just means accepting that sometimes you'll be out of the loop. Or maybe it means figuring out how to get access to the communications through a method other than FB. But don't be mad at the leader. She's just a regular mom, trying to create a cool activity for her kid and some friends. She doesn't need the extra work you're trying to give her - she's doing enough already. Make sure you thank her every. single. time. there is a meeting, and do what you can, every single time, to take something off of her plate. Bring a snack, lead an activity, be the communications mom, do the record-keeping for 4H, donate to the group's treasury - find a way to help.
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I would encourage any group I'm in to decouple from FB, or at least not use it as the SOLE means of communication. Because of the way Facebook handles your feeds, it is common for people not to see updates: https://twitter.com/Hellchick/status/942863353403150336
That's an extreme example, but it's typical. Until FB stops "curating" posts and offers the ability to simply view your feed chronologically, it's sub-optimal for this sort of communication.
FB drives me nuts too, and you're right that you can't rely on something popping up in your feed, especially if you have a lot of groups and friends. But you can adjust your settings so you get a notification whenever there is a new post in a particular group. Click on the notification and it takes you right to the post.
OP, running a group with six families is HARD. There are a MILLION details that need to be taken care of before and after each meeting; communication is just one of many details that have to be done. Find a way to take the burden of communicating with you differently off of your leader; she's got enough on her plate.
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The Once and Future King is very good.
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Pink eye is going around in my area (in adults), so might want to ask the doc if you might have that on top of the allergies. I know, fun.
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Go through them with a critical eye. Ask yourself - if I was larger, would this garment make me feel good about myself? Will it still be in style in a year or two, or is it dated already? Will the fabric hold up that long? Was it a quality item to begin with? Does it fit your actual lifestyle? Anything with a NO gets put in the donate pile. Anything you feel might actually be worth keeping - as in, you'd wear it and look good in it, and feel good about yourself - you can keep. Allow yourself one nice funeral outfit, if you have one. Put the keepers in a tote or bag and put it somewhere not-your-closet. Make a note to revisit the tote in a year and donate another layer.
Meantime, save those $5 bills in an envelope in your undies drawer, like a PP said. You are worth a nice (if perhaps small) wardrobe, like a PP said. Don't save the frump.-
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I like your hat choice.
The Royals always have those lovely coat dresses with matching hats. Just a thought. Maybe find some pics of them for inspiration. You could remove the coatdress and hat as needed, for pictures and so on.
I once went to a wedding in northern Canada, so rural we were told to pee at the rest stop an hour before getting to the destination. It was along the rocky shore of a frozen lake. Bagpipers piped in the wedding party over a rocky crest down to the beach, as it gently started to snow. The bridesmaids wore lovely tea-length lacy dresses, with a deep "V" back almost to the waist. We all wore heels, which sunk into the small rocks that covered the beach, scratching and shredding the shoe leather a bit more with each step.
Ah, young people.
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Do you know what the hold-up is? As in: Does she not have the money? Is it too many steps to write a check and find a stamp and your address? Does she say she'll do it but then forget? If you understand what her barriers are to getting it done, you may be able to help her develop coping strategies.
For example, does she have an app on her phone that would allow her to have her bank write you a check and send it to you? This is a feature that most banks don't publicize, but it may be part of her bank's bill-pay features. Does she have the PayPal app on her phone? If so, she can use it with a credit card or her bank account to pay you. Both of these can be done on-the-spot, and once set up can be used every time she needs to give you money.
Of course, it's not your job to figure this out for her, but it could be the fastest way to get the job taken care of.
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I am a paramedic, but I’m scheduled to dispatch tomorrow.
So no patient care, just sending the wheelchair van where it needs to go. My husband thinks I’d get more rest at work. There is no way I could take care of patients right now.
No one who can be with me tonight, but we are just going to bed. My brain literally feels like thinking is like wading through a pile of snow.
Does your husband have medical knowledge? The recommended treatment for concussion has changed dramatically over the past few years. You need to follow advice from a medical professional. The ER doc told you to stay home and rest your brain. That's what you need to do. Stay in bed, dark room. rest, no screens. This is not the time to try to power through it; doing so would make your recover take much longer. You need to heal.
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As I understand it, current medical guidance is to avoid "brain use" as much as possible for a time. This would include basically resting in a darkened room to start with. It's more complicated than that, but the short answer is, you should call in sick. Call the follow-up number on your discharge papers to get the note.
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I'm confused. What are "sinking funds." I'm picturing the money going out of my bank account that is slowly sinking me into debt. This is probably NOT what it means, though. :laugh:
To give a broader picture, the idea is that you know certain big expenses will come up, either at a specific time (Christmas presents) or at an unknown but "will happen eventually" time (new water heater). By making a prediction as to how much money you will need for these "irregular but going to happen" expenses, and when, you can put money aside for them each pay period so that when they do happen, you have the money to deal with them. The idea is that it's just too easy to look at a checking account balance and think you have enough money for a non-essential item, when really some or all of that money ought to be earmarked for these expenses.
Now obviously for the "sinking fund" concept to work you do need to have enough income so that you can put some aside for future expenses. If you are legit paycheck-to-paycheck on necessities, you may not be able to implement it. But if you have some wiggle room, it's a good way to plan your expenses and thus avoid things like a broken water heater, or car repairs, or medical co-pays creating a cash-flow crisis. (And it can help avoid putting these expenses on a credit card and ending up paying way, way more in interest than the original expense.)
Some folks have specific categories (car repair, new car, new appliances, Christmas presents, etc.) as many PP's have mentioned. For example, if you know you're likely to have $300 in car repairs every six months, then you can put aside $50/month, or around $12/week. When that repair eventually comes up, you'll ideally have enough in your fund to cover it. (If not, hopefully you'll have at least part of it, and you can borrow from one of your other funds for the rest.) It would be so easy to spend that $12 on something else, but knowing that you have plans for that money already (and not having it in with your everyday money) can help keep you on the right track, budget-wise.
While this method can be somewhat tedious, it does have the advantage of making you very aware of how much money you have, where you want it to go (goals), and where you are actually spending it.
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And I have no doubt she will be care for. There is a family who is likely to take her in....I guess what makes me so sad is that she was adopted by her grand parents and now they can't keep her. If they had died.....I think it would seem less sad if they died!
While it is sad, it is very responsible of her grandparents to make sure she is settled into her new family while they are still able to manage the details. They will be able to pass peacefully, knowing she is well cared for, and she will have time while they are still in her life to transition to her new family. She will also be spared seeing too much of some of the negative aspects of the dementia, and can live a more normal day-to-day life, while still being in touch with her grandparents as much as possible. Very sad, but she is lucky she's had them in her life during her younger years.
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I don't believe people should get exemptions or credits for their children unless those children are minors or disabled. Once an able-bodied individual turns 18, then he/she is an adult and the parents no longer have any legal obligation to support them.
If parents want to help out an adult son or daughter by assisting with college or allowing him/her to continue living at home, then that's the parents' prerogative (we plan to continue helping out with college assuming decent academic performance) but why should the IRS give a tax break for it?
FWIW, I also think that the financial aid system needs to make it easier for students aged 18-23 to get "independent" status. I believe in treating young adults as adults and not adolescents.
Crimson Wife, I am trying to understand your position. I'm hearing that you feel that supporting kids who are in college is legally optional for parents, so even though most college students are dependents, since they have the option of dropping out of school and getting a full-time job (and thus not having to mooch off their parents), there should be no tax break for their parents. At the same time, you feel it should be easier for the students to get independent student status, so that they qualify for more financial aid.
Wouldn't this then result in fewer parents giving financial support to their students, and more students getting financial aid from the taxpaying neighbors (aka government) instead? And wouldn't this then move the student from mooching off their parents to mooching off their taxpaying neighbors? And perhaps more students dropping out to work (so as to avoid the mooching) yet making themselves statistically more likely to need aid from the taxpaying neighbors throughout their lifetime, due to lower wages as they don't have a degree?
What do you see as the positives of this approach?
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OP, it's not clear whether they are talking about the (internal) theater doors or the building doors. If it's the building, I assume they feel that the foyer isn't big enough to hold everyone. Regardless, I'd ask for clarification, given the weather.
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The article is behind a paywall, would someone with access care to summarize?
Changes to the tax code (as per the new GOP tax bill) will raise taxes for middle-class families who have one or more children (age 17-24) in college.
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Well, I happen to believe that the tax code should not reward parents who allow their able-bodied adult offspring to mooch off of them. Elderly and disabled relatives should qualify for the same tax credit as minor children IMHO. But nobody else should get a tax credit.
Just because a parent has decided to allow an able-bodied 20something to live with him/her does NOT mean that the tax code should reward that decision.
I am also curious why a parent wouldn't allow an able-bodied college student to continue to live with them (the parent), assuming the student treats the parents and the home with a reasonable amount of respect, and is taking their studies seriously.
In my social circle, I can't think of anyone who has chosen not to allow their dc to live at home on college breaks, and in some families the college student lives at home full time.
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I've been to quite a few, and found them to be extremely helpful. It's an opportunity to meet some staff and faculty members, to meet people who run various non-academic departments (housing, food, disabilities, etc.), to meet students and question them about the school, to dig deeper into curriculum differences from school to school, to get deeper sense of campus culture, etc. You have to filter out the generic stuff, but it's by applying this filter that the differences in schools become clearer.
You're considering spending four or five years, and upwards of $200K (hopefully less, with scholarships and aid, but still hefty chunk of change for many). I believe in taking as many opportunities s possible to kick the tires before committing to the purchase.
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We like Suburu Forester & Outback.
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Well, I happen to believe that the tax code should not reward parents who allow their able-bodied adult offspring to mooch off of them. Elderly and disabled relatives should qualify for the same tax credit as minor children IMHO. But nobody else should get a tax credit.
Just because a parent has decided to allow an able-bodied 20something to live with him/her does NOT mean that the tax code should reward that decision.
I am confused. The article is about college students. Do you consider able-bodied college students, age 7-24, who live at home with their parents during breaks and the summer, to be mooching off their parents?
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It stinks, but sometimes it's inevitable. Sometimes we carpool so that one parent takes a bunch of kids and everyone else can show up later.
What I hate is when parents get the instructions and decide it's stupid so show up with their child five minutes before the show starts. In our case it's dance, and we have been working at top speed back stage to get everything ready to start on time. We start lining up the performers fifteen minutes before the show starts, taking littles to the potty before that, plus making sure everyone has the right costume, tights, shoes, hair, etc. and that everything is intact and secure before that. There's a reason that call time is way before curtain time. When someone brings their little one right before curtain time, inevitably in the wrong costume, and scheduled to dance in the second or third number, we backstage mamas are NOT happy. We may smile at mom as we wisk the child backstage, but we are NOT smiling while we try to change the costume, make sure everything is correct and secure, and run the child up to the wings where her peers are already lined up and ready to go, having been briefed about what to do if the child in question never shows to help calm their anxiety about their friend's absence.
Make your peace with it and move on.
Oh, please tell me how to handle this. I'm fuming!
in The Chat Board
Posted
That is fascinating. I am trying to figure out what would be so different, staffing-wise, about one airline over another? Pilot training or some other vaguely safety-related thing? Or something about the flight attendants? Do tell!