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Irishmommy

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Posts posted by Irishmommy

  1. First ((HUGS)). My son is an introvert aspie and finding someone with whom he clicks is sometimes like finding a needle in a haystack. One piece of advice I do have is DON'T GIVE UP. That perfect friend is out there for you! Keep putting yourself out there and if it doesn't work...just move on. I joined a Bible study at my church which I attended faithfully for about 6 months. I am not quiet in Bible study, mind you, but at the end most women probably didn't know my name (one lady couldn't come up with even my first name - and we wore name tags). My kids also didn't click with any of the kids at the church. We thought after a year of going to events they should have ONE kid they could call friend. So, I found a new Bible study at a different church which was a better fit for me. I also switched my kids to a different program at a different church. I know how painful constant change can be, but keep your chin up! One thing that has helped us in finding a good fit for our family is having a scout. Someone checks out the program/group/church first without the family and then we move to family introductions only if we feel like it could possibly be a good fit. With my aspie it can mean a world of difference in how he reacts to the group (big meltdown vs no or little meltdown). You may already know these things, just wanted to let you know that you are not alone!

     

    I thought this thread was going to be about the "barnacle" type stalker people, or I wouldn't have opened it.

     

    I am literally crying right now. I have lived in the same place for 14 years, and I have no day-to-day friends and no hope of making any. I have no idea how people perceive me, but I can only assume my social skills get a bit rustier, and I get a bit more out of step with local culture every year. I (or we if you talk as a couple or family) know lots of people that we enjoy being with and who truly care about us, but we only seem to meet people in "another stage of life" who truly can't make time for us (major burdens of health, etc. on their part) or they don't have kids that can play with ours, so they want us to get a sitter (getting a sitter is a whole other story--it's proven very difficult). We don't know how to make time for others--after all, with an ER schedule and a 9 y.o. that melts down for days (and sometimes weeks) if he doesn't get to bed by 8, we truly don't have any time slots available for friends. 11 AM on a random Tuesday doesn't work for most folks who have jobs, etc.

     

    In the past, when I have made really good friends, they move--usually suddenly and very far away. Or something drastic changes without warning--husband goes on disability for poor health, so she goes back to work; the moms click, but the kids do not. The kids click, but the other family is booked solid, and our openings (due to work schedule) are at very odd times and unhelpful. In one case, I got together with two other moms weekly for several months. One family had something big change one week, and that was an abrupt end to the friendship without warning. I've talked to that person about 5 times since, and most of those were when I physically bumped into her somewhere. She is in the same boat with friendships--it's just too hard to keep a friendship alive long-distance or through difficult circumstances, especially when every friendship you've had in the last decade fits into the same category. You can't spin that many relationship plates if there isn't some actual progress.

     

    We invested several years and a lot of work into Cub Scouts and church opportunities, only to have the rug pulled out from under us (our pack was thriving, but our den kept losing boys to moves, etc., and we were down to two boys--switching packs didn't work out with our schedule from hell). We changed churches, but we seem to meet people who already have enough friends and don't have room for more, or their own limitations are as exhausting and insurmountable as our own (one lady that I seem to have hit it off with told me that she also doesn't have time to make friends right now either even though she'd really like some). Once you are at a new place for a year or so, people assume you have friends now, whether it's true or not.

     

    I am getting to the point where I don't know whether to bother talking to new people or not, and this thread makes me feel as though no matter how I approach folks, I am going to offend someone. I am a slow-cooker person by nature. I have been encouraged to try the insta-friend approach (and don't quite have the personality to pull it off). And I have so little time (in the "available at a reasonable hour" sense of time) that the wrong approach will simply wear me out in the trying or whittle my opportunities down to nothing.

  2. I would love a season cliff-hanger with Mary running into the church during the LG marriage to the other girl, at the exact moment the pastor is saying, "If anyone knows why these two should not be joined in marriage, let him speak now or forever hold his peace..."

     

    I also foresee Edith going to Germany. I also think it might be an interesting plot line to have her narrowly escape (or even put in some sort of prison camp briefly) to get back to Downton. I do love the portrayal of the changing of the times and how it affects the running of Downton.

  3. Something tells me that the LGillingham and Mary storyline isn't over yet. I must say I am thoroughly enjoying all the purple in the costumes this year. And, I am seriously considering bringing back the head-scarf-side-bow a la Edith, but I am just not sure I can pull it off as good as she does. I may have to wear an outfit with gloves to make it look as elegant, and I think my kids might think I am crazy (okay crazier) wearing a pair of long gloves to teach!

  4. I think all the replies show both sides of the situation. I am not on ANY "team" I was simply responding what it was like for me and my family, in my situation. I love all types of people - introverts, extroverts, somewhere-in-between-troverts. I think it takes both kinds of people to make this world round. I respect every mom's right to set boundaries and acknowledge that those boundaries might look different than mine.

  5. Hi, my name is Shannon and I am an instafriend! In fact, I have to be. When you are in the military and move every three years, you can't make just a friend or two a year, or you and your kids will NEVER have any friends, nor feel "at home". I also was a preacher's kid growing up, again, no time to wait for friendships to find you. I just wanted to say that some of my BEST friends were ones that were fast friends at first. Also, I want to say a big, THANK YOU, to those people who DO get to know people who move around a lot. We need friends too. Sometimes if you are far away from family (which you almost always are, in the military) those insta-friends are a Godsend. I made a new friend a few months ago and I was shocked that she still wanted to hang out with me when she found out we are moving in 6 months. You wouldn't believe how hard it is sometimes when you find yourself around people who don't want to bother putting time into a friendship that isn't going to last more than three years. And most of my closest friends are introverts (so is my husband) and if I had never reached out to them, we would not have become friends. Just wanted to maybe give you a different way of looking at things.

     

    SUPPORT MILITARY WIVES, BECOME AN INSTA-FRIEND...I think I have a new bumper sticker idea, ha ha.

     

    Wanted to say too, I don't know the situation with this woman and her son. I get it when you really don't have time for "needy" in your life. Maybe you could have just said, "You and (insert son's name) really hit it off, we will see you next week."

  6. I think the souvineers are less expensive at downtown Disney than they are at the park. Also, if your kid is a dino lover, there is a really cute cafe there called T-Rex Cafe. It has giant mechanical dinosaurs throughout the restaurant. It also has a "Build-a-Dino" shop where the kids can pick out and stuff their own dinos. I bought gift cards from Build-a-Bear before I went ($10 for $20 of merchandise) and used those there (as the shops are owned by the same company). My kids LOVE that place! The food is so-so, but the atmosphere really makes it worth it in my opinion.

  7. Actually, June-November is Hurricane season (if I am right). We have had tropical storms that were pretty bad too (so wet you would harldly be able to go out). But, you really can't predict either of those at all! Last year we had a tropical storm warning that was supposed to be really bad, and it never happened - events were cancelled, city offices were closed. We called it Tropical Storm No-Show. I second the ponchos! We brought ponchos two years ago and they were so worth the 1.50 that I paid for them! Keep in mind too, that if it rains plenty people go home. We spent a little time out of the rain in one of the cafes, and then lined up to see our favorite characters without any lines! (Mickey, Minnie, Donald, Daisy, Goofy). When we went during the summer we took some of those neckties that have cooling beads in them and that did help keep us cool. A cooling towels would be good also.

  8. I was sad when we let our washer and dryer go with the sale of our last house. 15years and were still going strong. I HATE the ones in our rental now. The repair man says they are great, but they tear up and fade my clothes something awful. Can't wait to get a new pair with our next move!

  9. I love, love, love my room! I have too much stuff not to have a room! Also, I found that it was easier to keep track of the coming and going of kids when we had a room. I have one who will slip out of the room and I found that having a room made catching that more obvious. It wasn't a safety issue, just a distraction issue (he would slip off to his room and start playing Legos). It is also nice to have a place where I can just leave it all at the end of the day.

  10. Ambleside online?

     

    I wanted to love Sonlight, but I just didn't. There are things I liked about it, but I just didn't love it. I did love MFW Adventures. I thought it was very well put together. Everything flowed. I went on to ECC and wasn't a fan of that one. My kids were all really bored. Winterpromise...I would NOT recommend. I did Animals and their Worlds years ago and the guidebook WAS A MESS. I practically had to re-write the whole thing, and quite honestly I thought my version looked much better than the original!

  11. I have loved these threads too as they have given me so many ideas. I am doing FIAR for my littles which is perfect, but I still haven't gotten into a groove with my oldest. Here is what I am thinking:

     

    Week 1:

    Bible

    Read history/notebooking/timeline

    Science lessons

    Literature

    Grammar

    Math

    Latin

     

    Week 2:

    Bible

    Read and narrate history

    Science lab

    Literature

    Writing assignment

    Math

    Latin

  12. I can certainly identify, my son would love to play video games all day, and doesn't care for school.

     

    A couple of things come to my mind:

     

    This is really the first year I have required my son to do much writing...there I said it. My mom (elementary public school teacher) would tell me all the time, "You really need him to writing everyday! He should be journaling..." I didn't listen. I felt like trying to get him to do "writing" everyday would make us both crazy. He wrote sentences, but not formal writing. Last year I upped the amount of writing I required. Instead of crazy writing topics like, "Write a paragraph describing your favorite summer activity" I would let him research a topic of interest and then write a "report" about it, then read it to his dad or the family. We went through MCT grammar island together. That program is not a traditional grammar program.

     

    Fast forward to this year:

    We began CW Aesop and Homer for older beginners. He is doing VERY well with it. We take 2 or more weeks to do each assignment because we do creative things with the writing as well. I realized that the "normal" writing topics were too general for him, he did not know where to begin. With CW, he knows exactly what to write. I can't tell you how nice it has been NOT to have a struggle over writing. I am not saying that this program would work for your son; but maybe just relaxing the expectations for writing a little until you feel he is ready.

     

    -Can you read aloud some of the classical books to him? I will be reading aloud to my kids until they leave for college, because I think it is important.

     

    - The other thing that strikes me is that he is showing you disrespect when he says to you he hates school. My son used to do the same thing. I told him that he had every right not to like school, but he did NOT have the right to complain to me about it. I told him I worked very hard to teach him and it was very disrespectful to me to "spit in the face" of all my hard work. I also let him know that I am not asking him to do any more work than any other ___ grader. I told him he should feel lucky that his parents are able to homeschool him. Some kids don't have that option. It did take time for this to sink in. I think we even had a deal where he had to have a positive attitude with school or he did not get video games for the weekend.

     

    -Another thing that really helps us is having the NO video games during the week rule. It was so freeing to me not to have to compete with them for his time. Now our routine is: If you have your school work completed for the week, you can play games on Friday night (or we do a family movie). Saturday, rooms must be clean (as well as their bathroom) before any games.

     

    And finally ((hugs)).

  13. When I was certified I had to have TWO teaching fields. One was my major field, the other my minor. Maybe this teacher does have a math certification. I would go to the teacher FIRST if you haven't done so already and explain your confusion. She may be able to shed some light on things for you. I would only go to a higher up AFTER speaking with the teacher. She might feel blindsided or be on the defensive if you go straight over her head.

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