Kidlit
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Posts posted by Kidlit
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1 hour ago, Dreamergal said:
Happy Sunday that is almost over !
Thanks Robin for this thread.
Well, my reading week has been interesting. I felt like I climbed a never ending mountain by foolishly choosing to read two books and listen to one, that too in Spanish, a language I do not have much of a grasp. But surprisingly as often happens I found unexpected parallels between two unrelated books which made me take a whole new look at things.
First up
Pakistani take on Pride and Prejudice.
Short version: Absolutely wonderful book , faithful to the original but with unique takes. Many cultural references of food, fashion, weddings and sprinkled with Urdu and Hindi words with a hefty glossary. The characterization has much of the original yet unique elements like both Lizzy (Alys for short) and Jena (Jane) work in an "English medium" school teaching English literature. Darsee (Darcy) a clever take on the tendency of the subcontinent to have last names of family professions, in this case tailors. Darcy and Bngley in this case are younger than the girls and most of all both Lizzie and Jane of this version are in their 30s and unmarried.
Personally though and unexpectedly what hit me on a deeply personal level had nothing to do with the book but a character.
I have always looked for books in English that have people who look like me, experiences I could identify with and that is why I read Desi (India, Pakistani, Bangladeshi, Srilankan mainly) lit a lot. While I have always found commonality in food, ritual, culture and customs, what I have never found is someone who matched my life experience in books.
Alys (Lizzie) is a bibliophile who teaches English literature in a girls only school and the way she begins each school year is the ask the girls to personalize the first line of Pride and Prejudice to get to know them better. The book is set in 2000 and thus there are so many references to books and magazines I read growing up like Reader's Digest, Enid Blyton, Daphne Du Maurier. She discovers them just like I did in various libraries and I just about cried when the book referenced the British Council library which was such an influential one for me and which I had lovely memories of.
Alys and Darzee also have book discussions throughout the book, the famous dining room scene for instance when Jane was injured has a book discussion. Alys does this thing called Analogous literature which I do too but did not know it had a name where you pair books by western and eastern authors of a similar feel for instance Train to Pakistan by Khushwant Singh and Grapes of Wrath by Steinbeck. There is a whole bunch of them like that, some which I discovered and some unexpected which will set me up for a nice re-read of books I have already read, but in a new light.
An absolutely lovely read, highly recommended.
Adding to my list and putting it right at the top! Thanks!
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Oh, and ornaments! Hmm. . .will have to think about this. I usually pick up ornaments from a trip as souvenirs and give them to them on Christmas Eve, but the beach is the only place we’ve been. I guess I could give them a family beach picture on an ornament. 🤷🏻♀️ I need to think this through . Thanks for the reminder!
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So far I have a little box-type craft bag with handles and pockets that @Ktgrokshared a few weeks ago for my teen girls and a nice leather wallet embossed with his initials from a local-ish business for dh, and that’s it. We’re generally experience people, too, and we’re still trying to figure that out.
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I hoped to have two books to add to my “read” list this week, but alas, unless I sit and read for a while this afternoon, it will only be one. It is Furious Hours: Murder, Fraud, and the Last Trial of Harper Lee by Casey Cep. I listened to it via audiobook, and I found it very compelling, almost suspenseful. The first 2/3 (?) of the book is about a famous rash of murders that took place in Alabama in the 1970s. The last 1/3 focuses on Harper Lee and how she intended to write a book about the whole confounding situation. There’s a lot to this work of nonfiction, and I was quite involved in the whole thing, from beginning to end. (I note this because a friend tried to listen to it but got lost in the political stuff, but it wasn’t too much for me.). My only complaint is that the narrator didn’t do justice to some Alabama place-names, but as a native Alabamian (Alabaman?), I’ll give her a pass as some of the place names’ pronunciations make no sense. 🤣. 4.5/5 stars, and it makes me want to give In Cold Blood by Truman Capote a try.
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I’m not sure how trendy these are, but I just got Dansko Fawna maryjanes, and so far, so good. I have no pain while wearing these, and that’s almost unheard of for me. Here’s the link, and I’ll try to upload pictures of them on my distinctly unmodel-like feet. 😀
I also own a pair of an old version of the Dansko Sam maryjane clog (in embossed suede—so cute!), and they are quite comfy, too.
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18 hours ago, Carol in Cal. said:
I am wearing cute Altras, and my feet are thanking me all the time.
They are cushy, they are zero drop, and they are wide like Duckfeet in front so all my toes can spread out. I had no idea how constrained my little toes were until they weren’t anymore. I have three styles and I alternate them. Happy happy happy.
Ok, tell me more about Altra. I really like my Hokas, but I’m willing to experiment. However, what I’m REALLY looking for is something that doesn’t look like an athletic shoe but feels like one. I was looking at the men’s Cayd style, but the zero drop makes me concerned. I’m not sure I know what that means, but I have plantar fasciitis that I try very hard not to aggravate, and a cushy heel is vital. I actually do better with a wedge heel, but I don’t always want a “dress shoe.” I teach elementary school so need something serviceable with jeans or more casual pants, but something that I could also wear with a skirt, etc.
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12 hours ago, Jaybee said:
Queen Esther--such a fascinating yet humble person (so I guess Yael needs to come 😃)
Amy Carmichael--love her writings and would like to talk to her about her experiences
C.S. Lewis--I think he'd be a very interesting guest
Jean Fleming--she wrote a book (A Mother's Heart) that I read as a young mother, and she seems like a genuinely nice and down-to-earth person
My grandma--she died a long time ago; by the time I was old enough to really get to know her, her hearing had gotten so bad it was almost impossible to communicate; there were some very hard things about her life, but she was such a sweet person with a special sparkle in her eyes, and her home was a happy place to be
I read this book, too! It is good!
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15 minutes ago, Hadley said:
It’s Lust for Life by Irving Stone...I’m only about half way through, but it’s fascinating so far. And sad 🙁
He also wrote The Agony and the Ecstasy about Michaelangelo. Loved it. I just ordered three more of his biographies. Now I just have to get everyone out of the house so I can read...
Thank you! I read a YA biography of VanGogh a few years ago and was entranced—Vincent and Theo by Deborah Heiligman.
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51 minutes ago, Hadley said:
May I have six? I have a big table, and happen to be reading a great biography of Van Gough right now.
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On 9/22/2020 at 9:35 PM, JenneinCA said:
Does it count that I did it once and then COVID hit?
The real solution for me was to reduce my stress levels and treat the underlying depression issues. It worked. I was happy. I was down 50 pounds. Life was good. And then covid happened. My stressors were causing problems again. And new stressors too. The meds still worked but not enough to overcome the stress problems.
So I am back working on getting the quarantine 20 to go away. It is truly difficult. I am finally able to get to the gym which is helping massively. I am walking lots and lots and lots (a little over 11 miles today) to avoid the stress that is in the house. I don’t know when my stress levels will go to more manageable levels. It won’t be until at least January for sure and it may be more like June.
(This is the introvert nightmare. My extroverts have no one to talk to but each other and I can’t get away except by walking, which is why I am walking so much. But it only helps while I am out and then I come back... ).I can for sure relate! I did fairly well at the beginning of quarantine, but then our move and my new job has totally thrown me for a loop!
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17 hours ago, Laurie4b said:
I have lost over 60 lbs and kept it off for about 8 years. The loss wasn’t linear; there were a couple relatively short climbs back up—the last one when I got a bout of food poisoning that made my gut cranky for several months and required a low FODMAP diet. That broke my previous healthy eating patterns, and I had to reset them when I was able to go off the FODMAP stuff.
My why was about health. After my journey, I wanted to help others so became a health coach. (Not the kind who tells people “Do this, or do that, follow my plan” but the kind who helps people figure out what path is best for them.)
You are very wise to be working on figuring out your “WHY.” That’s because “weight loss” is an outcome, but to get to that outcome, you’ll have to do some things differently. IOW, it will requiring changing behavior. (You are also very wise to be looking for how to maintain weight loss after losing it. That goal is different than simply losing the weight in the first place. Check out the National Weight Loss Registry for research done by surveying people who have been able to maintain significant weight loss. In addition to the US registry, several other countries have them and you can find occasional research about the whole group of them)
Here is a key thing to be aware of: any time we set out to change behavior, we encounter ambivalence: part of us wants to keep doing what we’ve been doing and part of us wants to change. Think of a balance scale in your head: on one side are all the reasons you want to keep doing what you’re doing and on the other side are reasons you want to change. There are “whys” on each side of the balance. In order to help yourself change, you have to put your finger on the scale of what you really want most---which is what, I think, you mean by finding your WHY.
Why would we want to keep doing what we’ve been doing when we want to change? The status quo is the status quo because it works for us in some ways. Status quo decisions typically involve immediate rewards. Any reward that happens immediately is going to “weigh” a lot on the scale of ambivalence. Additionally, status quo decisions are built on habitual behavior and thus easier. Finding your larger WHY and learning to keep it in the forefront when you are making those small daily decisions about what you are going to do. Additionally, as you begin to make new behaviors habitual, that side of the scale will have more “weight” as well.
So how to find your own why:
The whys that will motivate you will be the one(s) most strongly connected to your most cherished values. So spend some time first thinking about what you value most in life. You can do this in whatever way suits your personality: you can make a bullet list, doodle about them, write in a journal…. You can start without any structure or use a question such as “At the end of my life, what kind of life will have given me the most satisfaction? What regrets might I have if I continue on “as is”?”
People’s deepest values frequently involve: 1) relationships and 2) dreams of doing things (bucket list type stuff) or 3) aspirations to do something to make the world a better place.
In that sense “health” is an intermediate level of “why” not the deepest level: health is the resource we draw on to do anything else in life.
Once you have your values in mind, you need to connect them directly to your goal of weight loss (if that remains a goal) Three methods:
1. Ask yourself a series of questions: Why do I want to lose weight? I want to be healthier. Why do I want to be healthier? I want to be able to be an active mom.. Why do I want to be an active mom? I want to be a good role model for my kids and be able to make memories together. My family is what I cherish most on earth. (You can also ask questions like: Why is that important to me? Instead of just why)
Another example: Why do I want to lose weight? I want to be healthier. Why do I want to be healthier? I need more energy. Why is that important to me? Well, I don’t feel my best and now that the kids are grown, there are some goals I have been wanting to achieve in my life. I will need to be functioning at my best to achieve them. What do I dream of achieving?
2. Journal about your whys and how your weight loss relates to your specific values.
3. If you’re visually oriented, make a vision board. (You can google that for ideas )
There are other layers to it (like how to call up your deep whys at the crucial moments of decision) but that should give you a start.
Also, you may want to ask yourself if “losing weight” is your actual goal. “Weight” is the number on the scale and includes bones, skeletal muscle, weight of your organs, water weight etc as well as fat (“adipose tissue” in medical literature) . What most of us mean by “losing weight” is actually “losing adipose tissue.” We are not keen on losing bone mass or muscle mass for good reason. But not distinguishing between the two can affect the approach we choose.
If health is a reason you’re thinking of losing weight, the type of adipose tissue most dangerous to health is visceral adipose tissue—not the kind you can grab handful of (that is subcutaneous adipose tissue) , but the kind packed deep around and marbling internal organs. The best measure of visceral tissue short of a DEXA or PET scan is not the number on the scale, but your waist measurement. (NIH standards are to measure right at the top of your hip bone; usually that intersects your belly button. WHO standards are the smallest place between the hip and the bottom rib) Waist circumference is highly correlated with amount of visceral fat using DEXA, PET, etc. Recent research indicates that even people with a normal weight can be at greater health risks if they have an elevated waist measurement.
To lose visceral tissue, you do not necessarily need to lose weight . You can gain it even without gaining weight by being sedentary and you can lose it even without dieting by a significant amount of exercise . You can maintain your current level by the equivalent of about 30 min walking a day. (See the STRRIDE I and II studies from Duke for instance.) Visceral adipose tissue is not unexpectedly best lost by diet + exercise, however. You are best off googling “Visceral adipose tissue” rather than “lose belly fat” if you want to skip over possibly misleading information. There is some thinking that the fact that the loss of 3-5% of body weight has such a pronounced effect on health parameters is because the body may shed visceral fat first. In fact, there is some thinking (not yet definitive) that extra weight in the butt and thighs may actually be protective in terms of health.
As for the “how” the specifics are going to be different for different people. Some things that I think are pretty universal, however, are:
· Avoid labeling yourself (“I was a good girl today” or “I don’t have enough self-control) . Likewise, avoid putting foods in moral categories (bad vs. good foods; clean vs. unclean, etc.) Labeling yourself contributes to a cycle of self-shame that perpetuates the behaviors you’re trying to change and also cuts short the kind of analysis that actually leads to progress. (Consider the difference between “I have no self-control” as an explanation for why you ate the cookies on the kitchen table vs. “Hmm. How did that happen? When I saw the cookies, I started eating them even though I didn’t want to . The visual cue started the whole sequence. Maybe I can ask my kids to be sure to put the cookies in the back of the pantry when they are done.”)
· Let flexibility be your mantra. Avoid rigidity. For instance, following from above: Foods are not inherently good or bad. Some foods give you a lot more nutrients for your calorie “buck” so it’s wise to build a habitual eating pattern around those. Other foods provide primarily fuel with few nutrients, but can be thoughtfully incorporated occasionally into an overall eating pattern. Using thoughtful flexibility tends to prevent a sudden boomerang back from total restriction. (The circumstances in which you intend to be flexible are best determined ahead of time, not on the spot, however. Deciding that you’ll have cake at the birthday party this weekend is deciding ahead of time to be flexible and enjoy a food you normally limit. Deciding to eat the cookies on the kitchen table because you laid eyes on them is OTOH, not what I am meaning by “flexibility”. J )
· Remember that everyone “falls off the wagon.” It’s not the act of falling off that’s the cause of not reaching a goal; rather it’s not getting back up on the wagon after a fall. Reducing the time between the “fall” (meaning you made a choice or series of choices not in accordance with your long-term goals) and getting back on the wagon is the key to success. Think about learning to ride a bike. It’s normal to fall. The kids who learn fastest are the kids that get right back up again and keep trying. So plan to fall off in the sense that you make a plan ahead of time for when you fall off.
Also: with regard to weight loss: if you are not getting 7 hours of good quality sleep, you may want to start with that as a goal. Messed up sleep increases hunger hormones and decreases creative thinking and problem solving. Taking care of that first can be the key that unlocks the door to weight loss for some people.
I have not been on the Chat Board since the big board change, but was alerted to this thread by another member. I do post regularly in the Weight Loss club, though, in the "daily check in" as it's helpful to keeping myself on track. (Just saying b/c I don't want anyone to think I'm ignoring them if you respond to any of this without tagging and I don't respond back! )
Thank you! There is so much to chew on here. I hope I can come back to it this weekend when I have a little down time.
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1 hour ago, Monica_in_Switzerland said:
I can't claim to be part of the "and kept it off" crowd, but I have been steadily losing 1lb a month since January. I know that sounds like a small amount, but at 5ft1in, I cannot have a huge calorie deficit. My TDEE is only about 1400 calories.
BUT, I'm proud of that slow and steady progress. I'm using a time-restriction method (early time-restricted eating, aka intermittent fasting). But I had a big breakthrough at some point while reading the book How Not to Diet, by Michael Greger. He addressed two of my mental pitfalls, almost as an afterthought in the book, just a few short paragraphs, but it really addressed my stumbling blocks.
- the I've already gone off plan this far, may as well go crazy for the rest of the day/week/month/year.
- the "last meal" effect, where we decide we are dieting beginning Monday, and spend the weekend eating ourselves into a coma.
I realized I fell into both of those traps frequently. The other mental roadblock is that when I decided on IF as a method, I would then cook something for the rest of the family for dinner, decide it looked too good to pass up, and break my fasting window. But since I'd already tried to pre-load calories by eating a generous breakfast and lunch, I ended up eating MORE than I would if I hadn't restricted at all. Once I recognized that behavior pattern, I told myself, "If you really want ravioli/chips/xyz that bad, you can cook yourself some for breakfast or lunch tomorrow." By the next day, the craving was completely gone, but on the rare occasions it is still there in the morning, I do indeed cook myself that item and eat it during my window. Giving myself permission, but delaying gratification has worked great.
None of that is meant to say that IF is the One Way- it certainly is not. It's actually to say that analyzing the MENTAL roadblocks is as important as identifying the food temptations.
Thank you for sharing this. This is EXACTLY what I need help with—the mental roadblocks. The most successful strategy for me by far is following WW, and I’m an online member. Spending time on the message board there is extremely motivational for me, but once I go “off plan,” I lose my desire to pop on there due to guilt (I think). Also, reading books (the one that has helped me the most is The Beck Diet Solution—kind of CBT around dieting) can be helpful but also guilt inducing (& hence I avoid it just when I need to read it most.). Makes me realize that it’s mostly a head game and not about food for me. I self-sabotage be a lot.
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This curriculum might be helpful, also.
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6 minutes ago, Spryte said:
Yes!
I don’t know that it impacted my weight loss, but one of the supplements that I started taking in earnest was because of the MTHFR mutation. I suspect it helped me exercise more/better because I feel differently when on it. And then the exercise probably helped. So a spiral of positives.
What supplement is this?
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9 minutes ago, Seasider too said:
The hard sweat level of exercise is especially important for those of us who have the MTHFR mutation.
Talk to me more about this. How do you know you have it (genetic testing, yes?), but how did you know enough to even get tested?
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I also recommend checking out IOCDF and the Peace of Mind foundation. Also check them out on FB.
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1 minute ago, Kassia said:
This is so true. My nutrition is not good, but my diet keeps me thin.
This is a must for me - I don't feel deprived with what I'm eating. I enjoy everything I eat, which helps so much!
What do you eat?
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2 minutes ago, Scarlett said:
Does your craving for sugar not go away once you are off of it for a while?
Yes, I think so. This was partly in jest—I need to strengthen my “not giving in” muscle.
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I have a child with severe OCD. Medication, plus Exposure Response Prevention treatment, was an almost literal lifesaver for her and our family. She was in a partial hospitalization program for 12 weeks several years ago. It did require a complete upheaval of our family for a time, but it was 100% worth it. She had what I think of as a “refresher course” with exposure therapy at Mayo Clinic last fall. Because this very specific type of therapy isn’t available in our area, we have not been able to maintain it, but the “jumpstart” Mayo have her, plus medication, helped her over a rocky time last fall.
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51 minutes ago, Zebra said:
I think you have to be in a mental space where you can handle it. You need mental resources to lose weight and eat better. I don't think it's good to justify being overweight by saying you are too busy or whatever. But, I also think there are times in life where you are just overwhelmed, and simply not GAINING weight is a real accomplishment.
This summer I've lost a lot of the weight I've been trying to lose since I had my dd. Part of it was just from anxiety, which isn't healthy. But, part of it was being done homeschooling my dd and finally having some energy to put towards it. I having been paying more attention to what I am eating, when I am eating for emotional reasons, and getting plenty of exercise. And frankly, until this summer I didn't have the mental capacity to devote to it. I don't know if that sounds like a cop-out, but after years of berating myself it's become clear I couldn't do it until NOW.
I don't know if that helps at all.
I think the mental space and also mindset are what I’m really after. I know HOW; it’s the WHY that keeps me motivated.
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I have a child diagnosed and treated for severe OCD at about that age. (I’m not suggesting this is what your daughter has!) It is an anxiety disorder. The most effective things for her, in addition to medication (which saved our family), have been using the Breathe app (Headspace, something similar) and the right counseling. I can’t emphasize the counseling enough.
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6 minutes ago, Laura Corin said:
More or less. There are lots of different ways of eating (intermittent fasting, low carb, Mediterranean) that can be healthy and can also lead to weight loss/maintenance. The key is to find something that is satisfying long-term to you, so you don't feel constrained all the time. I eat roughly South Beach, but on the veggie/pescatarian side of that (lots of tofu, beans and fish). I really love the food. Every now and then, I'll eat something different, but I don't spend every day yearning for other things, or feeling deprived.
Thanks for clarifying! I actually think this would work for me, if only I didn’t crave sugar as one of my major food groups! 🤣
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6 minutes ago, Carrie12345 said:
I may not be the best motivator, but I’ve made a bit of a middle ground in my mind. Health and weight are not completely synonymous. So, while I do check my weight here and there, even frequently every few months or so, I don’t have a number goal.
I think I qualify as “permanently” keeping ten pounds off at this point, and that’s mostly because my body REALLY doesn’t feel good with those extra ten pounds. I fluctuate on another 20 and don’t feel terrific when I’ve got ‘em, but not as miserable as before.
In my absolute best physical adult shape, I was 10-15lbs over the charts. And I don’t just mean my personal best, but truly good overall fitness, bloodwork, energy, diet, and clothing fit. So numbers can, for the most part, kiss my tushy.
Though I’m not always (and definitely not currently) there, when I am, my motivation is the awesome things my body can do and the great way it feels.
The one time in my adult life that I fell smack in the middle of the “acceptable” numbers range, I felt like garbage and people thought I was sick. I kind of was, since my nutrition and muscle tone were bad.For me, health is definitely not reflected on a scale.
I totally get this. I’m really not after some magical number. I ALWAYS weigh more than I “should.” The target weights on weight tables are not sustainable for me. I think losing 20-25 lbs from where I am now will get me back to where I both feel and look better.
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Keep ‘em coming, Hive. This is the sort of talk I need to hear.
Let’s start a Favorite Soups recipe thread
in The Chat Board
Posted
I wanted to resurrect this thread to add this slow cooker beef and barley soup to the list. I made it today and it is delicious! I’d consider it more stew-like than soup-like, but it’s a keeper!