[Divorce folks, I need your help]

I had my meeting with legal aid. It was anticlimactic. Hopefully I hear back in 3 weeks.

 

Question: if I get a lot of child support and spousal support now, can't he just take me back to court to get it reduced?

[Online high school for someone who is behind?]

Thank you katilac, great suggestions.

 

Historymatters and JanetC, your conversation has helped me to think this through some more. Thank you.

[Online high school for someone who is behind?]

Thank you all.

 

My state only requires attendance records. Nothing else. But she's supposed to be in high school and isn't so I am not sure how they would handle that.

[Online high school for someone who is behind?]

Can you get documentation for illnesses and learning disabilities, from a doctor or therapist? Yes, she needs to be enrolled somewhere and catch up as she is able, but it might take some pressure off of both of you to have a record of what she's been through. (Medically and academically.)

 

A child can't just hurry up and close a gap, especially after trauma and while living in a stressful home situation. Better to get some truth down on paper, along with a very workable plan, and then diligently try to follow the plan. Also, document that you are following it.

 

 

I mean... this would be great. I dont trust the system to help. I trust them to blame me and take my kids from me.

 

And to not believe her an push her too hard. It's common with crohns disease.

[Divorce folks, I need your help]

Okay I will try asking about that

:grouphug: I'm glad you got involved with this thread and for the support and care you've received from this group. The only help I can offer that hasn't been mentioned is suggesting you look into a vocational rehab office near you. They help people with physical limitations find jobs. Even if you don't want employment exactly right now, they will help with getting the medical records you need to document your disability and then you'll also be set up and know the process and have help for when/if you do go back to work. I've found it to be a very supportive place. :grouphug:

[Divorce folks, I need your help]

I see my pastor very rarely. Just started because of this. Doctors appointments just started as well. I've met with my case manager 3 times. My therapist 4 times. None of whom have met my daughter. Thank you

I know you have mentioned a few times that you are isolated, but if you have a pastor, a church, a case manager, and a therapist, and you also have doctors’ appointments every week, I think you may have more support (and witnesses) than you realize.

 

Have you asked these people for help, advice, or support? Can you ask any of them to attest to your character and your abilities as a mom if your husband tries to make you appear negligent or incompetent?

 

I also agree with others who have already suggested that you ask the doctors to document your disabilities, as well as your daughter’s disabilities.

[Divorce folks, I need your help]

Thank you so much. I'm working on it. 🤗

Just wanted to say he is behaving very typical of someone who is abusive and controlling but does not want to lose anything or anybody. It is a very conflicted state. Very "textbook" for someone like that to quickly offer to pay for all kinds of things you need or want. It is at best a temporary state of things but you know that already since you are living it. :grouphug:

 

Hope you get lots of encouragement from the attorney. Please stay in touch with friends. You sound like you lost all confidence in yourself which is not surprising given the circumstances. Once you have an attorney handling the legal side, you could use some friends around you. Don't allow him to isolate you!! Go to meetings at the women's shelter, church groups, wherever you feel comfortable and stay in community with other women.

[Divorce folks, I need your help]

Actually she is less disabled than she was. She is able to cook for herself most of the time now.

 

I am also less disabled than I was because I am on a lot of herbal medication.

 

We just got insurance and have doctors appointments every week. I do have diagnosis but they are 10 and 20 years back.

[Divorce folks, I need your help]

That's fine as long as it continues LOL

The guy is probably still freaking out that you're going to report him to the police. It's called sucking up, not working with you.

[Online high school for someone who is behind?]

My son is 10 and his main problem is handwriting... any suggestions for that?

[Online high school for someone who is behind?]

She had brain damage and could barely read for over a year but she is doing much better with reading now.

[Divorce folks, I need your help]

It was the first attorney I called. He said we'd need proof of my and my daughter's disability by calling witnesses (which I don't have, we're isolated) which would be unlikely and cost thousands more.

What do you mean by 'loads of proof'? Is that husbands words or words of any attorney? I mean, you are a SAHM with a special needs child. You had to leave a shelter because of your child's dietary needs.......

 

If you tell us what you mean by 'loads' of proof we might can help you think it through. .

[Online high school for someone who is behind?]

I've been looking at that one and the tutoring version sounds like a good idea at first.

[Divorce folks, I need your help]

My state is a no fault state. No alimony. Only temporary spousal maintence that would require loads of proof that its needed. Even if I could get it I'm not sure he can afford it.

 

The child support calculator only changes by about $75 a month no matter how drastically I change my income.

[Divorce folks, I need your help]

I have a hope phone from my advocate. ^-^

 

We were in a shelter and had to leave because of my daughter's health issues. She had lost 8 lbs and they wouldn't let her eat off schedule.

[Online high school for someone who is behind?]

I haven't read the thread so my suggestion may not fit what has already been discussed but Aleks is online and good IMO. It would allow her to potentially move through a great deal of material at her own pace. Frequently has a free trial of some sort running. https://www.aleks.com/independent

thank you. I'll check it out.

[Divorce folks, I need your help]

Thank you all. I have an appointment with an attorney but I'm so nervous. It is at 4pm on a Thursday. I have to lie about where I am going. It's downtown. I'm afraid I will get lost and he will definitely know where I am. I am going to say it's group therapy. (It's at a women's shelter.)

 

He saw that I called a lawyers intake line 2 weeks ago and freaked out on me. Demanding to know if I had a lawyer and the details. Called me a liar saying that I agreed to doing this without lawyers... and I might. I know that there are no assets. We filed for bankruptcy 18 months ago and I did the paperwork. He gets paid cash occasionally but only a few hundred dollars here and there. Nothing major. And right now He is working with me... at least allowing me time, buying my medicine, and a computer so I can start a work from home job.

 

There was a 9am appointment as well but the kids and I typically sleep until 12. I dont think I can make that one. I'm less likely to have to lie about that one though so idk.

[Online high school for someone who is behind?]

She is a brilliant writer. Hasn't learned to diagram sentences or write form letters but other than that is not behind in english. Just math and just not being used to structured school in general especially for content subjects

[Divorce folks, I need your help]

I have to delay because I have very little proof of anything and it just looks like a clear cut case of a lazy and neglectful mother right now. :'( besides feeding my kids, which wasnt easy due to special diets, he took all my time and energy.

[Divorce folks, I need your help]

Because he is in the honeymoon stage i think things would be easier with him. Honeymoon stages sometimes last a long time, and we could get counseling.

 

But after he assaulted me I just can't imagine ever being able to handke sex with him again.

 

Thank you Scarlett.

[Online high school for someone who is behind?]

Secular is very much preferred. We are barely doing three subjects per day now (our style for grammar school was to combine as much as possible) so this transition will be very hard.

 

If I do enroll them in K12 and they are behind, will they then come back with "your kids were being neglected" and it cause problems?

[Online high school for someone who is behind?]

I am afraid of getting public school involved at all and being accused of neglect. K-12 is public school too...

If K12 has a online public charter available near to you, it might be worth it as a stop gap solution. They have non honors classes that a friend’s high school daughter who was behind was able to cope with enough to get Bs and Cs. Could she be redshirted in 8th grade instead so that she has a less taxing load while recovering?

 

divorce, maybe in case her husband insist on public school http://forums.welltrainedmind.com/topic/666484-divorce-folks-i-need-your-help/

[Divorce folks, I need your help]

He is being reasonable now. Giving me time... the kids do very little school sporadically and stay up all night very often. I'm trying to change that but it's incredibly hard with our health problems. We have doctor appointments every week not counting counseling.

 

Reality. It's hard. So hard. He is acting like we aren't splitting at all. And it just seems like I have no choice again. I start thinking that this life is purgatory, and at this point I no longer care. I dont want more refining. I just want relief and I dont care what form it comes in.

 

I cried so much last night that my eyes got swollen. They look like they are infected now. And I'm supposed to pull myself together and do more now than I was able to before. It's so so hard. Maybe knowing about women's rights is a bad thing. Because reality is reality. Some of us really do have to be sex slaves to survive. Then again, that was breaking me too.

[Online high school for someone who is behind?]

My kid has been very very sick and is now picking back up with TT6 for math, 6th grade in most subjects but should be in high school according to age (15 1/2). Any suggestions?

[Looking for easy online options handwriting help]

I just need to meet standards. We've been unschooling for the most part. My kids are used to only doing two structured subjects a day. That needs to change because of divorce/custody issues. My son has a very hard time with handwriting. He wants to revert to upper case letters. Is there anything online that will help?